Author's Note: Because of the last chapter being sort of a let down for many of you (I'm assuming anyway...), I decided to double update to make it fair, and this one actually has a purpose. Yay! XP Special thanks for all the wonderful reviews!

Please do not use Alexandra as your own. She's a character I came up with for this story exclusively.

Chapter 9: Burning Bridges

"So, you'll bring a bull from town here then?"

"We don't have any other choice at the moment," I reminded her calmly. I could feel her staring daggers into my back although I'm sure it wasn't me she was particularly upset with. "Besides, it's all we can afford to do since winter's already here. The calf will be born in spring, so it's a smart idea to breed her now."

"I guess I have to trust your judgement on this," Tanya relented, handing me the gold necessary. "I just wish that damn rancher didn't charge so much for some bull."

I chuckled. She could be stubborn when it came to shelling out money, but it kept the farm running smoothly and profitably. That was another difference between Aaron and herself. He was never good with finances, and we often lost more than we gained. It was a miracle she had her mother's business sense. Otherwise, I'm positive the whole operation would've caved in before the next year.

"Hey, don't you go catching a cold," she warned, handing me my hat. "You really need a new cap. More body heat escapes from your head than anywhere else."

"Then why is my feet are always cold?"

"Because," she informed me, "your damn boots have holes in them."

The serious look on her face as she pointed at the offending clothing was rather cute. Still, I knew she was just being a brat. "If I had my own money, I could buy myself some, but a certain little lady keeps going to the bar and drinking away my share," I scolded playfully, wagging finger and all.

"No one said you had to pay every time..." she whined. Those violet eyes of hers were getting dangerous, and I saw the smirk creeping across her lips.

"You don't have to," I replied smugly and kissed her on the forehead. "Don't worry, I'll save up some coin for a pair of new boots."

"Good," she dismissed me with a bashful glance back, heading towards the barn to get Lilac ready for that afternoon. I was still surprised to see her hair down out of that ridiculous ponytail. She insisted she would only keep it that way until spring's warmth came again, but I half-heartedly wished she'd let it hang over her shoulders. After all, it made her look so much more like the woman she was inside. Beautiful and free...

--

Walking to town has always been sort of my little getaway. Here I can follow my own path without having to spend the time with anyone, and for a long while, that's how I preferred it. Just me and a dirt road, point A and point B. It had gotten harder to think that way, though, since Tanya remained in the valley. She had only taken this route twice while I had done do so for seventeen years. There were things along it she had probably never noticed, things I took for granted.

I wonder if I should take her to market one day? I thought happily while getting ready for the morning rush. She'd be a good vendor... with that demanding voice of hers...

I set up my stand in the small alcove of the market building just outside of town. Though the winter chill tried to forced its way towards my booth, the activity that got stirred up every morning kept it at bay. Produce was stocked in colorful rows of temptation while dairy was cooled in open view of customers. Butchers displayed the fine slabs of beef, pork, and lamb on meathooks as patrons pick and chose the marbled meat. It's a place of comfort, where old tradition meets today's competitive nature.

"Remember Farm" is painted on the small sign above my meager stand. I'm always surprised to see how well we seem to come out every trip into town, for I can't image why anyone would feel compelled to visit just for the sake of the name. I have regulars though they aren't consistent throughout the year. However, they continue to boast that I provide the best dairy around given the fresh air of the valley and the comfort of the cattle. I don't doubt that's the case, but whatever it may be, it sells.

"Thank you, Miss Rosie. Oh, have you got it?" I asked the elderly woman while she fumbled the egg carton. She was a petite lady, so I often worried her goods never made it home in one piece.

"Ah, yes, Takakura. I just had to adjust myself," the woman laughed shakily. "Have a good week."

"Yes, of course."

"My Takakura, you seem so different these days," commented another familiar voice. She was a small girl, yet she spoke very politely.

"I must admit I'm feeling younger," I confessed.

She giggled and chided, "Good because you certainly were never old to begin with. So tell me, who is the kind soul that got you to change your ways?" I only blushed. Not waiting for an answer, she left with a giggle of sorts.

The market day went on like this until my stock was cleared out and my ability to small talk began to wear thin. While closing down my stand, I did happen to notice the most peculiar woman sorting her way through the mass of venders putting away for the afternoon. She wasn't the type of woman one would see at the market, for normally women of her dress had the funds necessary to send out someone for their needs. However, as I caught sight of her face nearing mine, I realized her identity immediately.

"Alexandra, it's strange to see you here," I breathed.

Drawn out of her daze, she spun around towards me with a startled look in her violet eyes. She let out a defeated sigh and said weakly, "Oh, Takakura, I did not recognize your voice at first. It is not as light as when I saw you last."

"Well," I noted shyly, "when you saw me last, I was just a boy."

"That is very true," she agreed in a more comfortable tone. "Actually, I came here looking for you after I had heard you were coming to this market. You know it isn't far from my home here in the city."

"Of course. How could I forget?" That seemed to please her.

"Would... Would you care to join me this afternoon?" she asked delicately, imploring me with her purple gaze.

"May I ask why?" Meeting with Alexandra was peculiar in itself, but I was curious as to her motives for inviting me back into her home after seventeen years. She hadn't even attended her husband's funeral, much less visited him in life. Though he wrote her every season, she never returned any word. Now of all times she had come to contact me?

"Although I do not appreciate being questioned," she huffed, getting her daughter's pout. "allow me to simply have the pleasure of asking about my daughter. It is true that I have very little to discuss on the topic of yourself or that dreadful property, but I wonder about Tanya these days..."

"Every well," I relented with a sigh. "Please, could you show the way? I haven't had to go to that house for nearly two decades..."

--

Victorian houses are uncomfortable enough without having to be the home of the woman who betrayed your feelings, betrayed your closest friend, and then betrayed the girl you've come to love. It was frightening being there. There was a terrible silence in that building, for the tickings and tockings of the clock seemed to drown out everything, even air. I felt disturbed while I sat and waited on that unyielding chair. The house was empty, no one could live here.

"So sorry to keep you waiting. I have not made coffee myself since Aaron lived here. I forget, do you take cream or sugar?"

"Neither," I replied dully.

Alexandra had aged quickly. Though I knew she had reached forty, I never would've imagined she'd seem so very old. Her eyes were all but dead, and her once thick mane of hair had thinned to cobwebs. Glaring lines traced around her mouth and forehead, yet I doubted they were worn from smiling with any real meaning. Her manner of dress was the only familiar trait with her renown old-fashioned garb.

She forced a smile and handed me my coffee. It was nothing more than a tea cup, and so the contents were gone fairly quickly. I couldn't help but feel as though I were a part of a young girl's game while sitting in that ridiculously dainty chair and table set. How on earth could Tanya have survived here?

"Forgive me for arriving at the heart of the matter," she apologized, rushing right into conversation. "I wanted to ask how in the world you came to the conclusion that Tanya should take up her father's plow? Society would surely argue that a woman is not capable of such labor." Her steady stare unnerved me.

"The times have changed considerably," I reminded her with some scorn. "A woman has all the opportunities of a man in this day and age. Forget-Me-Not Valley may be tucked out of the way, but no one there holds onto an old philosophy like that."

"My, my you still have that angry tone. I suppose it is really no surprise given how ragged you have become over the years. Is that leg giving you trouble?" she fawned her concern. Her words were meant to wound deep like a vicious bite.

However, I kept my composure as best I could. I, too, could fake a smile. "Well, after watching a dear friend die, you can become rather bitter, I suppose. Speaking of which, I don't recall seeing you there at the viewing or the ceremony."

Alexandra blushed then, yet whether it was from embarrassment or annoyance, I couldn't tell. "I'm afraid I was worried because I would not have known anyone present. Besides, do you not agree that it might have opened old hurts?"

"I'm sure Aaron would've liked to have seen you there. His daughter was kind enough to put the past behind her."

"That is because she is just as much a dreamer as her father ever was," she retorted sharply. "I told her nothing of him to prevent such behavior, yet it would seem she insisted on being difficult concerning that matter."

"Perhaps you could've been more compassionate towards her?" I suggested, thinking back to the day she first held that puppy of hers

"All she asked was that I get good grades and dress up for company. As long as I did that, she didn't care where I went or with whom." When Tanya had said it, my heart shattered. I could only image her sitting all alone here while her mother shut her away. No wonder a child would go to the scrap yard to be in the friendship of dogs if her mother gave her the option only to serve as an ornament. It was an awfully lonely image of what was now a vibrant girl.

"Being that you have never had children of your own hardly gives you the right to lecture me," she warned sharply.

"You're right. I never had children, but that doesn't mean that you have anything over me. I still know how I would treat my child if I should ever have one."

"Do you not feel it is a little late to be considering raising a family, Takakura? You are an old man now, after all."

At one time, I might have agreed with her on that point. No... I would have. Even so, I was not the man I used to be, and I wasn't going to let a woman who had let herself die tell me otherwise. I stood stubbornly and confronted her.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that you feel I'm an old man since this old man is considering marrying your daughter."

The look of outright horror plastered on her face was rather amusing, really. Once the gape of shock was gone, a twisted furious grin replaced it. "Surely," she scorned, grinding her teeth, "you must be joking..." Her withered hands shook violently as she set down her tea cup, the saucer clinking rapidly.

"No. I'm am positively serious," I mocked her tone.

"You... Do you have any idea of what you are implying?!" she gasped, standing up while clutching her breast.

"I just happen to." I crossed my arms across my chest and dared her to challenge me further. What did I care about her opinion of me? Her daughter clearly wasn't going to have anything to do with her just as this woman had rejected her in earlier days. Had Aaron been the one against my decision, it may have made things much harder to bear, yet I felt my friend would've been behind me.

"Tanya would never agree to such a proposition," she scoffed. "She is my daughter, after all. I was the one who raised her, not that worthless father of hers."

"I'd like to believe I know her more so than you, Alexandra. She's a wonderful woman..."

"She is nothing more than a child! And you... You, Takakura, are nothing more than a letcher!" she spat, pointing an accusing finger towards me. The expression on her face was that of a defeated woman. She was no longer the dainty Bird of the Boarding House; she was an ugly, old shrew. Her hair was a tangled mess of thin thread, and her clothes were torn and torn again. I had only seen the facade of her perfect exterior shatter once before when her husband had told her of his dream.

"Why? So we can lose everything to another crazy scheme?! This house, this life, this integrity?! I have given up everything I dreamed of when I had that mistake of a child! Your child, I might add. And now, now you want me to follow your dreams?!"

A mistake is worse than an accident. A mistake is something you despise so greatly that you want to erase it from existence. At least an accident is never hated. People take responsibility for an accident, but no one wants to admit to a mistake. Tanya couldn't be a mistake. She was too kind, too loving. This shrew of a women in front of me had made the real mistake. She took her duty as a mother for my girl like a chore, a curse even.

"You must be senile, Takakura," she snickered. "That's it... You have simply live in the delusion that my daughter could ever love you. You poor old man..."

"No," I rebuked her, "you're the one who's lost it all."

She stared blankly at the floor and muttered a spiteful, "Get out..." I turned on the heel of my boot pocketed with holes and did just that. No one could have held me there any longer. When the door shut behind me, an agonizing sob came from within the little doll house. Barbie had come to realize that she was plastic all along. Nothing more...

--

"I was waiting for you!" Tanya yelled furiously. "Where the hell were you?"

"Sorry, I got caught up with someone... I didn't expect to see her there..." I apologized, rubbing my neck shamefully. In the flurry of the afternoon, I had completely forgotten the bull. Now I was getting a lecture from another woman, her daughter no less...

"Who was she?" the girl asked, curiously calmed.

"Alexandra..."

"What the hell would make her go to the market?" she asked aloud. Her stumped expression was rather cute, I had to admit.

"She had something to talk about, I guess."

"Did she seem mad at me? I'm sure she was..."

"Yes, she was, but does it really matter all that much?" I asked cheerfully. "I doubt she'd come here to drag you home."

Tanya grumbled, crossing her arms, "If you could call it that..."

"Hey."

"What?" she looked back up at me. I felt as though I had just slapped her...

"I just want you to know something. Don't get all upset with me, but I have a promise for you," I told her gently as I leaned towards her, placing my hand on her shoulder.

"Come out and say it then," she ordered me, tears already brimming.

"You were never a mistake," I whispered kindly in her ear. "Don't let her or anyone else let you think otherwise."

She looked at me with those misty violet eyes, and before I could comfort her myself, she wrapped her arms around my waist and cried. She garbled something inaudible, so I had to ask her to repeat herself a little clearly. All I heard was a small "Thank you, Taka," while she buried herself further into my chest.

There are times when we need to reassure ourselves of our worth, and when we can't do it on our own, we have to ask someone else to do it for us. Aaron was able to help me see that, and in that single moment, I passed on the lesson to another. While she cried in my arms, I realized how small she truly was. She had always felt she so small, too tiny a person to really matter. I only hope I helped her to see how wrong she was about herself.

If you feel you have no one to love you, please... please let me be the one.

--

Final Author's Note: If you find yourselves thinking, "What a bitch!" that's sort of the point...

Special Thoughts: Alexandra's character was fun to write, and I purposely had her talk without using conjunctions because I felt it made her sound more full of herself. Although I love Victorian houses personally, I figured Takakura wouldn't feel comfortable in one. Lastly, the idea of a man like Takakura, in muck boots and with an anchor tattoo on his arm, sipping coffee out a tea cup was very amusing to me...

I hope you enjoyed this installment!