A/N: Okay, so i'm thinking there was a promblem with the site yesterday, and that's what i'm going to blame for the lack of reviews. That and the fact that i put Karen in a car crash. But, anyways. Please, review!
August 31st, 2012
Tree Hill North Carolina
Lucas Scott's House
There hadn't been anything that they could do. It was that simple. The car had flipped and there had been nothing that any doctor could have done to save either Karen or Andy. They were lucky as hell that Lilly made it out alive, let alone without any major medical problems. But that didn't make it any easier for Lucas Scott. There was nothing that could have made losing his mother and Andy any easier. And Peyton knew that too. She had lost her mother, and she knew, probably better than anyone that all Lucas needed was time. And love. But you could have waited fifty years and spent that entire time loving him, and that wouldn't make this day any more bearable. Burying your mother wasn't ever something that was bearable.
Peyton got up, tears still in her eyes as she silently made her way out of their bedroom, careful not to wake her husband because he needed the sleep. As far as she could tell, this was the first time he had slept since the night before the accident. Quickly she checked on all three infants before she walked downstairs and into the guest bedroom. She wasn't surprised to find that Lilly wasn't sleeping.
"Hey Lilly. How are you doing?" She whispered, turning on the light and looking at the six year old.
"I miss my mommy." She admitted, moving over, making room for Peyton to sit down, which she did without hesitation. "I just want her to come back, but Lukie said she can't."
"Oh, honey. I know you miss your mom." Peyton said, running her fingers through Lilly's hair. "And I know you want her to come back now, but she's in heaven, with your daddy." She knew that Lucas had attempted to explain what had happened to his little sister, but he had broken down halfway though, and had had to leave, not that Peyton could blame him.
"She's with daddy and Andy?" Lilly asked, looking up, curiosity in her tear filled eyes.
"Yeah honey, you're mommy's really happy up there." In some ways it was harder to be around Lilly, because she was so confused. She didn't really understand what was going on, and because of that she was scared and upset by everyone else. But in other ways her innocence made it easier for Peyton to comfort her. Or maybe it was just that she related better to Lilly. She had only been a little older than Lilly when her mom died. She knew exactly how Lilly was feeling, and she knew what she had needed as a kid during those first tough weeks. She also knew that today was going to be hard, on both sister and brother, and the rest of the town. Today was the funeral and the burial. "Honey, you know what today is, right?"
Lilly nodded, the sadness back in her eyes. "The funeral."
Peyton nodded, hugging the little girl tighter. "Yeah baby. So, you got to go take a shower and get dressed, and then, if you want, you can help me dress the triplets." Lilly loved her cousins nearly as much as Jamie did, and even though it was a small thing, helping dress them, Peyton knew that it would at least help to distract the poor kid. Lilly nodded, the closest thing to a smile that Peyton knew she would get, and she got out of bed, moving slowly towards the bathroom. The blond waited for a few minutes before she moved herself to the small closet and pulled out the dress that Brooke had gotten for Lilly to wear. It wasn't black. After a lot of debate they all (meaning Haley, Peyton, Nathan and Brooke) had decided that even though Karen was Lilly's mother, it would look too awkward to have Lilly in an all black gown. Not to mention that it was nearing September and it was devastatingly hot out, and Lilly was still a child, and she needed to be comfortable. They had decided on a dress that Brooke had found in a boutique in New York Last year, and then altered. It was a darker blue and looked acceptably formal.
Peyton laid the dress out, along with the matching shoes and then waited for Lilly to get out of the shower. The little girls face was still wet when she reentered the room, and Peyton couldn't tell if that was because of the shower, or tears. She handed Lilly a bathrobe and then after the young girl had switched the towel for the robe Peyton began to comb her hair. At first it was completely silent. It was too early for even the triplets to be up. But then the inevitable question came.
"Peyton?" Lilly asked as the older woman pulled the brush though her hair, not looking up or meeting her eyes.
"Yeah Lilly?" Peyton knew what was coming, and after several meeting with several various lawyers and conference calls with Andy's brother she finally knew what she could tell the girl.
"What's going to happen to me? Are they going to send me to a foster home?" Peyton was sure that the girl was crying now and she stopped brushing her hair, pulling her into her lap.
"You know that big playroom right next to mine and Luke's bedroom?" Peyton asked, waiting patiently for Lilly to nod. "Well," she began when she finally did, "You're going to stay with us, and that's going to be your new room."
"I'm going to stay here? With you and Lukie?" She seemed clamed by that, and so Peyton nodded, and then resumed combing her hair.
"Yeah. You get to live with me Lukie, Derek, Avery, Bailey and Brody."
"They're not going to send me away?"
"Of course not." Peyton said, hugging the girl before she put her down. "Okay, I'm going to blow dry your hair now, is that okay?" The little girl nodded, and Peyton turned on the dried on the lowest level that it could be on. They had the time and Peyton wanted to make sure she could hear Lilly if she needed something.
"Peyton?" Lilly asked again, looking up at her.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you for being so nice to me. I know I was a little mean to you."
"Honey, don't worry about it. You know I love you as much as I love your brother. Plus, I know what's it's like to lose someone."
"What do you mean?"
"My mom died when I was just a little bit older than you."
Lilly didn't say anything at first. "I'm sorry." She finally said, looking up at her. "But at least it can only happen once, right?" She asked, once again, her six-year-old innocence shining though.
"Not for Peyton here." A voice said from the hallway. "I was looking for you." Lucas said, looking at his wife. "I woke up and you weren't there."
"I'm sorry Luke." Peyton said, getting up and walking over to him, pulling her arms around him in a hug. "How are you doing?"
"Pretty shitty, honestly Peyt. I miss her, and I'm sacred as hell about how we're going to raise four kids. And I miss her." He was crying now, and Peyton hugged him even more fiercely.
"I know Lucas, trust me. If anyone knows, it's me. But we're going to be fine. All of us. Don't worry about that today. You just worry about you."
"I love you."
"I love you more than you know Lucas."
"I'm going to go give the kids their baths. Derek's staring Brody now, and I want to help. I can bring them down here, when they're done."
"You don't have to help out today Lucas." Peyton said, looking up at him.
"No, I need to do something, and I love giving them their baths. It's funny."
"Okay then. Just put them in their cribs when you're done. Lilly wants to help dress them, right?" Lilly nodded. And Lucas smiled down at her, hugging her quickly before he turned around. "Lucas." Peyton called out after him.
"I got to be strong, for Lilly." He whispered before he walked up the stairs. Peyton turned back into the room.
"Okay Lilly Roe Scott. Let's finish your hair, and then we'll get you dressed." Peyton whispered as she started the dryer again. It only took a few more minutes do dry Lilly's thin hair, and then only another minute for Peyton to slip the blue colored headband on. After that all that had to be done was to put the navy dress on, and that was simple enough, and only took a few minutes.
Peyton led the little girl upstairs and set her in on the couch in Avery's room, and then she carefully checked on each infant. They were all washed and they were all lying in their cribs. She carefully picked up Brody and his clothes and then Bailey and her clothes. She placed all three kids in Avery's crib and then turned to Lilly, whom she found was fast asleep. She walked over to the little girl and laid her down on the couch and then threw the blanket over her before turning back to the triplets. After a lot of talking and then a lot of research Peyton and Brooke had finally found something acceptable for the infants to wear.
Brody was going to be wearing a pair of tan pants and a hunter green dress shirt that Brooke had made especially for the boy, and both Avery and Bailey were wearing matching green dresses from the same fabric as Brody's shirt. It took all of a half hour to get them dressed and then they were all back in their cribs.
Peyton looked at the clock and seeing the 9:34 only reminded her that in an hour they had to be at the church. She sighed and got into the shower, quickly drying her hair after that and then throwing on the black dress, also courtesy of Brooke.
She walked out of the room and walked downstairs to Karen's old room. "Lucas."
"Yeah?" She wanted to cry just looking at him. He just looked so broken.
"I love you, you know that." She kissed him quickly.
"It's time, isn't it?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry Hun."
"I know." He nodded, pulling her in one last time for a hug before he walked out of the room. "I'll go get the car; can you and Derek get the kids?"
Peyton nodded and before she could even call his name Derek was at her side, walking up the stairs with her. He silently went in and got Bailey and Brody while Peyton went in and silently woke Lilly and Avery. They walked silently back though the house, even the infants staying quiet, and walked to the car. They all silently filled in and during the drive to the church the only sound that could be heard was that of the engine purring.
They pulled up to the church and found Brooke, Haley, Nathan and Chase waiting for them. "Everyone's inside buddy." Brooke whispered, pulling Lucas into a hug. And I don't really know if it makes any difference, but Mouth turned down the Omaha job, he's going to stay here."
"Thanks Brooke." Lucas said before he turned to Peyton. "The kids are…"
"Staying with us." Derek and Millie were standing behind Lucas and Peyton, already holding the infants. "You guys don't have to worry about them today, we'll watch them, and we'll be in the back, okay?" Lucas nodded and then took a deep breath before stepping into the church, his wife and friends at his side.
Lucas had been to church a total of forty times in his entire life. Twice a year up until he was night teen and then a few times when he was home after that. And seeing as he had never been at any other time then Christmas and Easter, he wasn't sure exactly how many people were normally at a mass, but he figures that the most showed up on the holidays, hoping that some sort of effort would be rewarded later. Christmas had nothing on this. Every seat there was full, every single pew packed, and nearly everyone was crying. Lucas walked past everyone he knew. The Smiths, Whitey, Mr. and Mrs. Jagielski, Jake, Jenny and Niki, tucked away in a pew towards the back, Whitey, tears flowing down his face freely, Mr. Sawyer, closer to the front, a few customers from the café that had been there since the start, Mr. and Mrs. James, and all five James siblings, who even stopped bickering for the service, Deb, Skills and his parents, The McFadden's, Mrs. Edwards, and then one face. One face that stood out from all the rest. One face that was sitting, alone in the back. "Lindsay." He whispered, looking at her face, grateful that she wasn't looking at him.
"What?" Peyton asked, turning around to face her husband, panic laced though her features. It was Haley who pointed her out to Peyton.
"She found out about it and called to say how sorry she was, so I invited her. I hope you don't mind Lucas." Haley said, whispering as they all made their way to the front of the church. "I'm sorry Peyton."
"It's fine Haley." They both whispered at the same time. And then there was no more time to think about Lucas' ex-fiancée because the service was about to begin. The priest, a man that Lucas had known since he was born, Father Pierce, began the ceremony. He spoke the entire mass, including three Beautiful readings. Daniel 12:1-3 was ready by a stoic sounding Nathan and Ephesians 2:4-10 was read by a tearful Peyton. The gospel, read by the father was Luke 22: 33-43, and the entire service was enough to bring nearly everyone in the church to tears. He paused briefly after the reading were finished, before he continued.
"We are sorrowfully gathered here, today, in this house of god to do one thing. Remember. To remember a woman who made every single person in this room's life brighter. I knew her, and I could talk for hours about what an amazing person that Karen Roe was, but it would have nothing on what these people sitting in front of me can say, so before I start in on what a good cup of coffee Karen could make, I'm going to turn it over to our speakers, the first of which is a good family friend of Ms. Roe, Haley James Scott.
Haley got up, her simple black dress swaying perfectly around her body as she made her way up to the podium. She began, her voice shaking as she started to speak. "The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. Erma Bombeck. I grew up with five brothers and sisters and two parents who loved us all dearly, but barely had the time for one child, let alone six, and I was eight years old when I met Lucas. I was eight years old when I traded my family for his. And I truly did. If Lucas got sick I would probably come down with the same thing within the week. We fought more like brother and sister than best friend and sleeping over at Lucas' house and forgetting nearly all my stuff and having to use his became a regular thing for me. But for all of that, the games and the best friend, and the clothes and books that I stole from him I got one more thing when I became friends with Lucas Scott. I got his mother. Karen Roe was one of the bravest people I have ever known. What she did, raising Lucas alone at such a young age, keeping a successful business afloat at the same time was extremely hard for her. I know. I was her age when I got pregnant with my son, Jamie and I thought I was going to lose it, and I had a support system, a steady job. A loving husband. Karen had none of that, yet she did such an amazing job with everything in her life that it can only be regarded as a small miracle that that woman was put onto this earth. I can't ever think of a time that she didn't help someone. And more than that, she loved. Freely. She loved Lucas more than words could even describe, no matter when he did or how he acted. She loved me, and it didn't matter that I wasn't actually her daughter, she loved me like one. She loved Keith Scott with all her heart even though she loved Lucas that much as well. She loved Andy and she loved her daughter. And she loved Lucas' friends and his wife. She never thought there wasn't enough of her heart to love with. There was always room in Karen's heart, and that's what made her so special, because if you needed her, as a mom or a friend, she was always there, with just a little bit of love for you." Haley wiped the tear off her face and walked down off the alter, passing by Whitey on her way up.
"Good job kiddo." Whitey whispered to her, crying just as hard as she was as he walked up to the recently vacated podium. "I'm Brian Whitey Durham, and most of you people know me as the coach who brought the Ravens to the Championship. And I did do that. But I couldn't have done that without the help of Lucas Scott. And I'm one of those people who firmly believes that a kid raised right will act right, and disregarding the few fights with his brother that Mr. Scott got in, Lucas was an amazing person. And I think that had everything to do with his mother. I've known her since she cheered for me, and god she was a feisty one. She could cheer with the best of them, still did pretty well when Lucas was out on that court. But more than cheer she cared. She was never selfish, and she always put others first. She knew what everyone needed without asking. Like when Lucas here quit the team because of his HCM, and she fought to get him back on. Or when Haley found out she was pregnant and she sat with her every time something was wrong. But she wasn't afraid to stand up for what she believed in either. When Danny Scott tried to get me fired and she lobbied the board to keep me on, or when she ran for mayor because she knew the people. Karen Roe was one of the best people that I have ever met, and I can only hope that one day I'll meet her again." Whitey too walked back to his seat through tear filled onlookers, and now there was only one more people left to speak. Lucas.
The blonde walked up the alter, stopping right behind the podium before he took a deep breath and began to talk. "I was six years old the first time I clearly remember thinking that there was something a little off about my family. I had just started kindergarten we had to draw a picture of our family. I drew my mom and me, and Rocket, my dog. Nathan and Haley were actually both in my class that year, though I didn't care at the time. Nathan, I'm sure drew his father and his mother and him, and I've seen Haley's. She drew every single person that she could think of. But she had a dad there two. And I was so little. And I remember raising my hand and asking the teacher why everyone else had a dad, and I didn't. And she just looked at me with this sad face and said that I was a little bit special. And then Nathan stood up, looked at me and said that my father didn't love me, and that's why. That was the first time Dan Scott made me cry, and it wasn't the last. I went home that night and told my mom what happened and she put me in the car, dropped me off at Keith's house and then came back a few hours later with a picture from the summer before of me, my mom and Keith. And she told me that if I ever had to draw a picture of my dad again, I could just draw Keith, just like he was in that picture. And then she took me back to the café because she had to run the graveyard shift that night. But that was my mom for you. If I ever had a problem no matter how big or how small she would try as hard as she possibly could to protect me, and then to fix it. No matter if it was my fault, or not. And it took me a few years to realize it, but then it just hit me. That's what a family is. It's people who love each other, and would go to the end of the earth for each other, and it honestly didn't matter how many people there were. I realized that my mom and I were a smaller family then most, but we had so much more love than some, and that was really all that mattered. And if I had to take one thing from my mother, that would be it. That love really is all that matters." The room was dead silent as Lucas walked back into Peyton awaiting arms, tears freely cascading down his face.
The rest of the service passed quickly, for Peyton and Lucas at least, and then the burial was such a painful blur that Lucas was sure he wasn't even all there. And long after everyone else had gone, Lucas, Peyton, Lilly, Avery, Bailey and Brody all remained, all visiting their loved one's. And Haley. Haley stayed behind too, and at first she thought that it was to watch Lucas. Until she careful guided him and all the kids into the car. She got them all back to the house and helped Peyton and Derek undress all three kids, and then Lilly, get them all into pajamas and into bed, and then to at least get Lucas into one. And then Haley turned to Peyton.
"Look," she began, nervously running her hand though her hair. "You know that I love you like a sister, and I would never do anything to take away anything from your happiness, right? Especially if that happiness had to do with you and Lucas."
"Haley, what's going on?" Peyton asked, sitting down on the couch and pulling Haley down next to her. "You didn't sleep with him, did you?" She was completely joking, she knew that Haley saw Lucas as a brother and even kissing him was like some weird incest to her. "Haley, really, is everything okay?"
"I need to talk to you about Lindsay."
A/N: Okay, please review. Please, please. Umm, about this chapter well, the reason why I skipped the whole definite statement of "she's dead" at the beginning is because I hinted to it at the beginning (in the prologue). Also, I did a little bit of research, about kids and funerals, and I debated for a little bit about which kids would go. I ended up having Derek and Millie (the two people in this story who really don't know Karen) watching the triplets because I felt like them being there would be completely overwhelming for Lucas and Peyton. But it was Lilly who I really debated over. She was only six and most people think that some that age shouldn't be at a funeral, period, but I think that since it was her mother, she should be there. Anyways, review and tell me what you guys think!