This is a very emotional chapter.

I had to get in the frame of mind to write it.

Okay so here we go.

Chapter 19.

Lets get some reviews.

Here we go.

Bella's Point of View.

Yeah.

Okay.

Chapter 19

Say goodbye

I was not ready for this. We would be at the hospital shortly the way Edward drove, I hadn't planned out what I was going to say to him. How I would explain, or how I was going to say goodbye. It was one of them things you never really thought about, or wanted to think about. I tried to keep calm in front of Edward, he didn't need another reason to blame himself for my sadness.

It was raining outside, thankfully. That was one less freaky thing I'd have to tell Charlie about. I had hoped my mother wouldn't be there. That would make this goodbye even more complicated.

We arrived at the hospital, nerves had taken over completely.

"Edward, I don't think I can do this." I looked over at him as he parked the Volvo near the front of the hospital.

"Bella, you'll feel awful if you don't. I don't want to see you unhappy, doing this will give you closure." he gazed at me.

What he said made sense, I came back because I wanted to say goodbye, because I wanted closure. I wanted him to know I was okay, and that would be enough.

"Please don't go far." I looked at him giving him a stern look.

"Bella, I swear I will be closer then you know." I gave him a kiss goodbye and stepped out of the Volvo, and walked towards the entrance.

I stepped through the automatic doors and stepped up to the receptionists desk. She put the person she was talking to on the phone on hold.

"May I help you?" she asked in a friendly tone.

"Yes, what floor is Charlie swan on?" I asked, voice shaken.

"Hmm, hold on let me check." she typed his name in the computer, gazing at the list of people, "He's on floor 3 room 307." she smiled.

"Thank you." I walked away, and got on the elevator. It was a long elevator ride I might add. I still had no idea what I was going to say.

I walked off, I knew already where 307 was, I could hear the faint heartbeat of my father. I looked in the room before going in, my father hooked to machines, lying helpless on the bed. I felt guilt and sadness course through my veins. He was awake, but looked so helpless.

I walked in, slowly, I knocked the door gently. His eyes went huge, his jaw dropped.

"Bella?!" the weak raspy voice asked in sudden horror.

"Dad, don't freak please." I walked to his side, sitting next to him.

"What-Hu-How?" his voice still horror struck.

"Dad, I missed you so much what happened to you?" I tried to get him to focus on something else, but it wasn't working. I felt a burn in my throat, as I saw his blood pumping weakly through his body.

"You were suppose to be dead…how? Bella I don't understand…" his eyes tearing up as he grabbed my hand, but released it quickly from the shock of the cold.

"Dad its complicated…" I reached for his hand, he hesitated, but let me hold it.

"Bella! You left without saying a word! You made me think you were dead! What happened to you!?" he raised out of bed, but fell back quickly in pain. His face pale, bags under his eyes.

"Well dad, I didn't leave you, I didn't want to anyways, and I didn't die, technically…" I trailed off. Making sure he was fallowing.

"Technically?" he raised his eyebrow confused.

"I died, but someone saved me. But when they saved me, they had to do a sacrifice kind of…" I took a deep breath, "I don't have a heartbeat, but I'm alive." I cringed at how silly I sounded.

"Bella, get serious." Charlie scoffed weakly.

"Dad, look at my eyes, feel my skin, put your hand where my heart is, I was turned into a," I gulped, "vampire"

. "Bella this is crazy-" I grabbed his hand before he could continue, and put it where my chest was, I let him feel for about two minutes. His face looked up at me in horror.

"dad I'm sorry I left you, I'm sorry this happened to you, please dad, just tell me you love me, I never wanted this, but its me now. I'm still Bella, I'm just a little different on the outer exterior. Please forgive me, I had to leave to keep you out of danger…" he shh'd me.

"Bella, of course I love you, you don't have to apologize for what happened to me, its life, I'm a cop this was bound to happen. Don't tell me the details, I'm just so glad to see you Bells." he opened his arms, for a hug, I felt his warm tears on my cheeks. I also felt the burning in my throat, which I put on mute.

I laid next to my father for a long time, just laying there, I sobbed, I felt so awful.

"Dad, what happened to you?" I asked finally, carefully sitting up, knowing I could hurt him I were rough about getting up.

"I got shot a few times, a couple of stupid thieves." he grumbled.

"Are you going to be okay?" I was hoping, praying he'd say yes, even though I knew the outcome of the vision.

"The doctors don't know, I was shot in the back, and there's a bullet lodged in my heart, if they remove it I die, if they leave it, then it kills me slowly." I frowned, as he patted me on the back.

"There's got to be a way…" I sobbed.

"Hon, its okay. I promise." I saw a tear trickle down his eyes, I knew he wasn't ready to die.

"Dad…" I couldn't think of the right words to say.

"I think I knew, you were alive, I think that's why I've held on this long. I don't know it probably sounds stupid…the doc's said I should already be dead…" he was getting weaker by the second.

"Dad…don't talk like that." my voice shaking.

"Bells, I love you. More then you will ever know, take care of your mom somehow, I know you'll get all of this stuff figured out." me motioned me closer, Charlie had never been very good at showing emotion, but he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"I love you dad…" I knew it wouldn't be long, his mind was weak, from what I could sense, he was going to give up any minute.

"Take care Bells. Maybe I'll see you on the other side." he smiled. Letting his eyes close, his weak grip slipped from my hands.

"no," it started as a whisper, but as it sank in it got louder, "No, No, No!!" I buried my face in my hands, no tears of course, but my heat ached.

I bent down, and kissed him on the cheek once more, and left as the doctors came in. I walked outside and sat against the wall, and fell apart.

"Bella…I'm sorry." Edwards comforting voice filled with remorse, as he sat next to me and put his hand around me.

"I had B-barely g-g-g-otten to k-k-know him!!", the sobs controlled me completely now, "Ch-Charlie died because of some idiots its not fair!" I shouted.

"I know, I know…" his voice like velvet.

"It h-hurts so much." my heart, fell to pieces.

"He's not in pain anymore, at least he died happy." I smiled a little, I did know that for sure. His last thoughts were when I was a baby, when Renee and him were together in Forks.

"Here, I have an idea, I'm going to take you someplace I used to go when I needed to clear my head." Edward got up, lifting me up with him.

"Where?" I asked, confused, as I shook.

"You'll see." his mysterious voice grabbed my hand and guided us back to the Volvo.

A place to clear my head… sounds nice I thought. Trying to forget the events of today, but its nearly impossible to erase from a vampires memory.

Sad sad.

I know…

It was hard to write.

Good things to come though.

Surprises to come also.

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