Chapter II

Too Far Apart

I tried not to think about Jasper. I tried not to think of Jasper when Edward was around. I worked to push him out of my mind when Edward was gone. I concentrated on keeping thoughts of him out of my dreams at night, I was very aware of trying to not be aware of Jasper when he was anywhere near me. Edward, Jasper; Jasper, Edward. My good intentions were having the opposite effect.

The day after I'd cut myself with a glass and Jasper had blown through our bathroom door, Edward had very considerately kept me at Charlie's house. Charlie was thrilled to have me home, and we spent the day going over things he was sorting through, beginning to use my vacated room as a depot for the boxes he'd never gone through.

The day ended with me making dinner, which Edward declined, as usual. Edward was moody and pretended to watch the T.V. all day, which left me plenty of time with Charlie. I knew better, but at moments he was almost as distant as he'd been following Jasper's last attempt on my life, and it made me nervous, though I knew he wouldn't be leaving again, now that we were married.

After Charlie and I had finished cleaning up the dinner dishes, Edward stood up, "We should get home Bella. Charlie, thank you for having us over. It was a really relaxing day."

Charlie looked at me quizzically, because Edward had spent the whole day in the other room. I shrugged my shoulders at his look, and he raised his eyebrows, and tipped his head.

"Anytime Edward, you two are always welcome." He reached over and hugged me tightly, "Don't forget me. Come by and visit now and then." I smiled, hugging him back.

"I love you, Dad. Goodnight."

Edward shook Charlie's hand as they said goodnight.

When we got in the car I stared at Edward. He was smirking just a little, but continued to ignore my stare. We were halfway to his house before I gave in, "What was with you today?"

He looked at me, feigning innocence. "Hmmm?"

"Don't 'hmmm' me, you were a piece of sculpture on the couch all day, and then when you suddenly come to life after dinner, you tell Charlie it was a really relaxing day. I could be wrong, but it seemed to me as if you were anything but relaxed."

Edward's eyebrows puckered and his face was mildly dark. I recognized this as his uncooperative look, but I didn't care, he was being his typically enigmatic self, and I wanted to know why.

"I was simply allowing myself to be lazy. I don't do so very often." He explained, still pretending perfect confusion.

"That's an understatement. You never do that, so would you mind explaining why you're suddenly luxuriating in lethargy? While you're at it, explain to me why you're lying to your wife, also." He rewarded my baiting with a very black look. Despite my determination, my stomach tightened a little. Still, I'd broken through the façade. Now maybe I could get some real answers.

He scowled at the road ahead of us, turning into the driveway. I still continued to glare at him. When we pulled into the garage, he turned the car off and finally looked at me.

"It wasn't a lie, I enjoyed being at Charlie's because I didn't have to worry all day. I didn't have to wonder for one moment if you were thinking of Jasper, or if he might be thinking of you. I also didn't have to be concerned whether or not you were going to injure yourself and tempt fate again. It was nice to be able to relax for a whole day."

He was being honest, and it hurt. My worst fear had always been that I was going to prove to be too much trouble for him. My voice was softer, and certainly less poignant when I spoke, "So, you are getting tired of having to be my savior after all, aren't you?"

"Every so often you remind me how young you really are, Bella. I don't feel tired of it, I feel responsible for it. I brought you into this condition of life by my own selfishness. My protection of you is the consequence of my decision, but it is in no way something I regret. Can you understand the distinction, love?"

I understood the distinction very well. But, he was blaming himself again. Some things never change. I felt very guilty for being the source of such anxiety for him, and I got a little angry. "I don't want to burden you every day with worries and concerns, Edward. If this is going to be the nature of our marriage, maybe you should turn around and take me back to Charlie's. Then you won't have to spend all day wondering 'what mess has Bella put herself into this time.'"

His exasperation was easy to hear in his voice. "That's not it, Bella. I love you, whether we are here or anywhere else; I will always worry for your security. It's just that the nature of the present concerns at home tend to weary me more easily than I had expected."

He reached out and stroked my face, looking deep into my brown eyes, with his very black ones. He was putting off hunting again. That would have to stop; I decided to give him another day of respite from his troubled mind. "Edward, your eyes are too dark. It worries me more than anything else. I know you've been hesitating to leave me, but you need to. Why don't I stay at Charlie's again tomorrow, it's a Sunday and he'll be home all day again. He still has piles of things to go through from all of those boxes."

Edward's face softened slightly, "I believe that is a very good idea." He smiled my favorite smile, "I love you, Bella. You deserve better than this, but I can't let you go now. You're too important to my existence." He leaned forward and kissed me, gently. We walked into the house and straight up to our room.

The box sorting had exhausted me. Edward lay down beside me in our usual nightly ritual but I no sooner put my head on his shoulder than I was asleep. Drifting into dreams accompanied by Edward's steady breaths.

In the morning I awoke, and Edward was looking at me smiling. "I'll never stop enjoying watching you sleep."

I rolled my eyes at him, and scuttled off into the bathroom. I could hear him chuckling as he slid off the bed. He must have dressed and gone downstairs, because as I was brushing my teeth, I heard the bedroom door close so softly that if I hadn't been still at that moment, I wouldn't have heard it. I showered, and was just getting out when I heard the door close again. I assumed it was Edward and went about getting ready, I was in my closet when a musical and happy voice spoke from behind me, startling me.

"Hi Bella!" Alice always sounded so happy it was almost mischievous. I never tired of hearing her voice or her lovely laugh. She looked like she was bursting with some news.

Her expression was infectious, "What?" I asked, knowing whatever her news was, she was dying to share it.

"Carlisle is going to France today to learn about a new method of endoscopic surgery." If Alice was hoping that would make sense to me, she was sorely mistaken. I looked back at her expectantly.

"Oh Bella, honestly! FRANCE, you know, France. France, the fashion capital of the world!" Ah, it was becoming clearer. If ever one human had been brought to this earth to shop, it was Alice. "Carlisle wanted company, but Esme wanted to stay home, so he's invited me." She beamed.

Being a mostly unfashionable person, I couldn't be as thrilled on the subject as Alice, but I smiled widely and did my best to let her know that I thought she was the luckiest person on the planet.

She was still excited, so I knew there was more, "I'm going to buy you new clothes Bella. You're my sister now and I'm allowed to do that. As my sister, I expect you to show more fashion sense than you've shown thus far. I may even expect you to wear 'blouses' and even more frightening, pants which aren't jeans." She made a face of mock horror, and I couldn't help but laugh. Especially since I happened to be holding a pair of jeans in my hand.

I looked at Alice with pleading eyes, "Please don't go overboard Alice. You know it mortifies me to accept gifts." Alice waved me off with her hand as she turned to go.

"The things I buy you won't be gifts, Bella. They're the required uniform for being a Cullen. I have to go, Carlisle's asking for me. Bye Bella, have a great week." Her musical voice followed her out the door.

I dressed, grabbed my purse and things and went downstairs. The first person I ran into was Carlisle setting a small, perfectly professional looking carry on bag down in the hall at the foot of the stairs. "Good morning Bella. How is Charlie?"

Edward had informed only Carlisle of our plans the day before. "He's fine Carlisle, he said to tell you hello."

Carlisle smiled; Charlie thought the world of Carlisle, despite his less positive feelings towards Edward. Carlisle also had great affection for Charlie. "Please return the compliment when you see him again."

"I'll see him today." I said, pleased I had plans for the day too.

"Again? That's wonderful, I'm sure Charlie would like to keep you around forever." Carlisle smiled playfully a moment, "Not that forever is within his power." I chuckled at Carlisle's uncommon joke

"Well, Alice and I are leaving today as well. She told you." It was a statement.

"Yes, she nearly exploded in my closet just thinking about it." I laughed. Carlisle laughed back and it was a beautiful feeling. Very home like.

"Alice!" Carlisle said, and Alice blew silently past me, and appeared standing next to him, holding her bag. She called goodbye up the stairs, and "I love you." Floated back down them. They both stepped out the front door, saying goodbye to me as they left.

"You realize you're going to have to clear out your closet before she returns don't you?" Edward's voice came from the top of the stairs.

I turned to look up at him and Rosalie and Emmett were coming down before him. I looked at Rosalie for confirmation, and she very uncharacteristically rolled her eyes, and nodded.

"Is that common for her?" I asked.

All three answered me at once, "Yes!"

I smiled, "Well, I'm glad it isn't just because I'm fashion-challenged."

Emmett scowled and looked at Rosalie, "Do you remember what happened after the style-week in Italy?" Rosalie and Edward both returned the look, and I was suddenly feeling very worried.

"Was it that bad?" I asked, grinning at their mutual expressions of distaste.

Emmett looked at me in a horrified way, "Yellow glitter jeans with paint splatters! FOR ME! Can you imagine?"

I smirked, picturing Emmett being handed something like that.

But Rosalie bested him, "That wasn't the worst part Bella, it had a matching yellow mesh tank top." She was visibly trying not to go into hysterics and Emmett was shaking his head with a look on his face which I had no doubt would have been green were he not a vampire.

Edward chuckled as he walked forward and took my hand. He kissed me on the forehead; touching my cheek with is free hand as he did so. Edward's eyes were still sparkling with amusement at Rosalie and Emmett's conversation. "Are you ready to go to Charlie's?"

I held my purse up in proof of my readiness, and he turned to the door. "Let's go." He said to Rosalie and Emmett.

Edward was going to make a day trip with Rosalie and Emmett to hunt. I knew I had hours I'd be able to help Charlie in. We might even complete it.

Edward walked me to my car, and shut the door. He pressed his lips softly into mine, and then stood back. "Tell Charlie thanks again for yesterday." I nodded and pulled out. I could see Edward in the rearview mirror, watching me as I turned and drove down the driveway to the street. He looked as if he half wanted to follow me and stop me.

I wish Edward could have been there when I got home.

**A/N: My apologies to my readers for not getting this up yesterday. Halloween with a young one is a busy affair. :) Later today I will post the next chapter as penance for my serious breach of civility in allowing a whole day to pass without an update yesterday. Ha! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Comments/reviews are money in my inspiration bank. Thank you.**