A/N: Largest chapter for this story so far! Make sure to check out my other story. I have an idea for my third story already, I still need time to work out the details (It will be based on a different group of characters, altogether).

Anyways, I hope you like this chapter! Read and Review!

Disclaimer: I own the book but, not the rights to twilight. Stephenie Meyer does.

Hey! I don't own Edward either! (That one I'll work on first...)

APOV--

We managed the rest of the trip to Forks without another stop and search. If you think being a vampire, not needing sleep, and living forever and all would make me a patient creature, then you thought wrong. Despite my not being human I was fidgeting a large amount of the ride there, the only limb not twitching would be my right hand and the fingers that intertwined with Jasper's. I clearly felt my nerves getting the best of me, but every few moments I would feel a wave of calm that contained a subtle amount of nervousness to it. My mind switched from thought to thought so quick it only occurred to me as the train slowed, that Jasper was just as nervous as I was, but he was fighting to hide it and soothe me at the same time.

I looked over at his face, his eyes bore into the far wall. I wondered to myself. What was he thinking? He has this great gift andhe tries to hide his feelings from me? We sat for a moment after the train had come to a complete stop. I waited for him to speak. Wouldn't they being coming back to retrieve the contents of this box car any minute now? Shouldn't we leave? His hand remained holding mine with the same pressure, and he remained at my side, but at this time he seemed far, far away.

I wanted to speak, to get his attention; I wanted to leave. I had the words in my head but, I couldn't put them in order to speak them with actual sense. I'd straighten out the first of my words, and move onto the rest, when I found myself ready to speak them, the sentence had became a jumble. A game of boggle with no meaning, shaking it up before I could find all the words. I heard people exiting the train, in desperation I let out any word that came to my mind without much attempt at ordering them. "Train... stop... baggage..." I sighed in failure. "Got to leave!" My voice raised as I heard the voices of the men who had failed to find us in their search. "Jasper!"

He turned to me with red eyes, that far surpassed the color crimson, for a one more resembling black. "Alice." His voice was strained. "We need to get out of here." He had his head between his knees, he was in pain. "Jasper, when was the last time you drank?"

He glanced up at me for a moment. "Before I met you..."

"I knew that." I stated, obliviously waiting for a more exact response.

He groaned. "Month ago."

My eyes widened in shock. Oh, no. "A month?" He didn't answer, he knew my question was entirely rhetorical. Based not on a need for an answer, but purely shock.

I heard the voices from earlier getting closer, all the passengers were long gone. They were right outside the door, blocking the only exit. If we didn't want to be discovered, we had to hide. Breaking through the wall revealing our skin to the light probably wasn't a very brightidea. I dragged Jasper behind a large crate with me. We stopped breathing to remove all sound, or at least that was my reason, you could imagine a more painful reason for Jasper.

Jasper's jaw was clenched harder than before, his face painted a picture of his pain. I tried calming him in the ways I had before, but it didn't come as much help. At this point I couldn't imagine calming him, he had gone to long without feeding. If these men didn't leave soon, I was sure Jasper would lose control, the best I could do at this point was keep mine. The more time I spent with Jasper the more view points he understood of mine, and adopted as his own. I knew the self loathing I wouldn't go through if I slaughtered all these men, -- Killing to ease the thirst, was a different kill than that of a vampire who lost control. If in control he would make it less painful for them. In the state he was in now, he'd leave no mercy, killing till all human scent was diminished.-- I knew Jasper would suffer the same process I had when learning of my limits of dealing with thirst.

I continued to try without success at calming Jasper. His waves of pain increased, I heard one man wince. I'm sure his pain response was much worse than that of us, so the others panicked at his cries from the pain. At first I saw this as beneficial, they would get out of here quick to get him to a doctor, my second thought occurred as the next screamed out in pain. The first man's shrieks created an unwanted distraction for the men, they were unaware as the knife sharp pain creeped up to them. I was sent into my own panic, as I realized the pain left them unable to leave. I turned back to Jasper, who was now attempting to force himself out of his crouch. Maybe he could do this, if he fought the urge long enough for me to get them away from him, I was sparked with a small sense of hope. "Jasper." I said sternly, he forced his eyes in my direction. "Jasper, you must withstand for longer. I'll get them out of here. Are you alright if I leave here? Are you in enough control?" He nodded, clenching his jaw harder.

I slow rose from my spot, testing his reaction, making sure he wasn't getting ready to bolt around me toward them. Apparently, he was in control for now. I walked toward the men, now with greater speed, still too cautious to excede any human pace. I debated how I was going to do this, would I try to take all at once, decreasing any speed, or risk leaving two here as I hurried the other two away.

I peered outside, it was raining. Thank you, dependable Forks! I wouldn't have to take them as far, if the rain decreased the scent. I turned to grab two of the men, watching Jasper as I did, he still appeared to fighting his crouch mode. I lightly tossed the two of them out of the train, Jasper's waves of pain deceased with the two a further distance from him. I tossed the other two much the same as the first. I began dragging two across the wet grass, keeping my eye on Jasper as I did so. When I was satisfied with the distance from the train they were I went back for the others, faster this time. Jasper's pain waves were at minimum now, though his eyes kept the same darkness as before. Maybe, had they darkened further?

I now that Jasper's pain had mostly faded, I could feel the waves begin to shoot out pangs of unbearable hunger, only growing further as the pain faded. I dragged them faster now, needing to be over with this. I hadn't much paid attention to the terrain, I stared in horror as ones leg caught on a large jagged rock. The sweet scent heavenly filled my nostrals, but burned my throat like hell. I scrunched my nose, my head shot up in the direction I should see the train in. Though I didn't see the train, it was raining so heavily, that it concealed the train that I guessed to be about two hundred yards away. "Alice?" His voice called, I saw his figure making its way through the rain towards me. No!

"Jasper! No!" I meant to call out to him to stay but, the urgency in my voice caused him to continue another fifty yards my way. "Wait!" I yelled. Being a vampires, we would never have to speak this loudly to each other from this distance, but my nerves had my voice rising.

"Alice! What happened?" He sniffed and his voice changed. "I smell blood. I shouldn't be here should I?"

"No." I forced the word through my clenched jaw. The closer he got, the greater the hunger grew. Pain also started to grow, though this pain was mine. I heard a pain filled moan, that pain was not mine, but surely caused by me. I looked down at my fingers that had made their way right through each man's shoulder. One grunted, sending a breath up into my face. I dropped them and jumped back. I tried to fight my own hunger how, I brought my hands up to cover my face. I only realized my mistake when the blood touched my lips.

I edged towards the men in my crouch. I lost it.

JPOV--

I pushed my back up against the wall, watching as Alice dragged the second set of men through the rain. The rain became a wall between us, shielding away the smell and sight I had for them. I most of the pain was gone now, I no longer felt the need to lunge forward. I only had the painstaking burn in my throat, the thirst that felt strong enough to overpower me even with the distance. I waited a few moments longer than it had taken Alice with the first two, but she did not show up through the rain. What happened? She left with more speed this time, what was taking her?

I walked through the rain following Alice's faint trail rather than my own sight. "Alice?" I called when I began to make out her shape through the rain.

"Jasper! No!" Her call had me worried. Was she hurt? I made other fifty yards before she ordered me to a hault. "Wait!" She yelled. There was no good reason for her to be yelling at such distance, something was wrong.

"Alice! What happened?" I tried to understand the scene that the rain distorted, maybe smell was the way to go. I sniffed the air and immediately regretted it. "I smell blood. I shouldn't be here should I?" I called before holding my breath and leaning away.

"No." She sounded in pain... she spoke as if she had been clenching her jaw. No, No! No! I heard a ripping growl, and then a shriek. I ran towards them, only pausing to take in the scene in front of me. Alice was draining blood from one of the men, and grasping the other by his bleeding shoulder, not allowing chance for his escape.

I shouldn't have paused to observe... I should have grabbed Alice and left. But, no I stopped. I allowed myself a chance to lose strength, to take in the aroma, and sight of the flowing red. I grudgingly edged forward, losing any want to pull back. I fed. We had just drank the last drops of blood, when we heard a gasp behind us. We turned to see one of the men who had been removed from the train first. We were in front of him, with our teeth digging in before we could think. Minutes later we were ourselves again.

APOV--

The rain had washed away the blood, giving us back our free will. Jasper look over at me. "We should go... Someone probably heard that."

I nodded. "We have to get rid of these bodies."

In a minutes time Jasper had grabbed the three men and tossed them back in the train, my eyes didn't witness what he did next but, my ears did. I didn't even have to look to know he was making a scene that made their cause of death appear something much more plausible and more easily acceptable than what the real reason they wouldn't live another day was.

Jasper's hand was soon in mine again. Once again, he lead me through the rain toward a new life. I leaned into his chest. I knew more now of the self loathing that would come after such an incident like this. I was sure Jasper fully understood my feeling without his extra sense, I was sure he felt it with just as much intensity as I had. I didn't want him to feel this way.

Once more I looked up at him, his eyes were down looking back at me with guilt. "I'm so sorry, Alice. So sorry..."

"Jasper, don't be sorry. You didn't want this to happen, you had no control over it..." I sighed when his expression didn't fade or change to something more pleasant. "If anything it's my fault..." I mumbled.

He stopped us, I looked around surprised at how far we had gone in such a short time, I wasn't paying much notice to our surroundings before... "Alice, it is not in anyway your fault, you were the one strong enough to resist the urge to pull them away from me."

"I didn't last very long though." I stated.

"Longer than I would have, I lost it much fast than you had at the sight of blood."

"I killed two people! No correction 'slaughtered'! It wasn't just a kill to survive, Jasper! Did you see the pain they were in! I'm a monster." If I could cry tears they'd be falling down my face creating little oceans by now. Though, I couldn't cry actual tears, my body kept a humans response to sadness of this extent. My body shook with whimpers.

Jasper wrapped his arms around me, picking me up and holding me to his chest. He started walking again. "Alice," He sighed. "Its not your fault. You didn't want this to happen and you had no control over it. Please don't try to argue with it, you said it yourself... And please don't cry, I can't take that."

"Fine," I huffed, giving up. "Speaking of feelings..."

"Yes?" He asked suggestively, obliviously misunderstanding what I meant.

I scoffed. "Your such a man, Jasper." I said shaking my head.

"Joking, jeez..." He laughed. I could feel the atmosphere lighten in response. "Tell me, what were you going to say?"

"I was curious..." I said this careful trying to cover a bit of the hurt the subject caused me. "Why would you hide your feelings from me? With your power I'd think yo--"

"When did I hide my feelings? Even now could I?" I he asked.

"When we were on the train... In the waves of calm--" I paused. "You were nervous." I accused.

He nodded. "But so were you."

"And?"

He laughed. "And? What? You were nervous enough to begin with... I didn't want to lay thing more on you."

I kissed his cheek now.

"What was that for?" He asked with a ton of voice that said he didn't mind it.

"Thank you."

His eyebrows pushed together for a moment, then released. "No problem, I like protecting you. Even if it's from bad feelings."

I frowned. "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"For being honest. I was also curious..."

"Yeah?"

"Why are you nervous?"

He laughed. "Same reason you are. We travelled across the country, to see a family of vampires that we've never met before and we expect to live with them. That, Alice, that is the the reason I'm nervous. Pfft. There goes any chance that I'd be able to calm you with words now, huh?"

"Yeah. I think so..." I laughed.

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