Title: Love me When I'm Gone
Author: Illuma
Fandom: Magic Knight Rayearth
Rating: T
Warnings: Umm… lots of information? Yeah I don't know.
Characters: Hikaru, Lantis, Fuu, Ferio, Satoru, OC-Doctor Hitari and
Isara
Feedback: Feedback is always welcome!
Summary: Hikaru has a secret she's been keeping from everyone. After the
last time they were summoned to Cephiro, they found a way to bring Lantis,
Ferio,
Ascot, Caldina, Lafarga, and Presea to Earth.
They all thought they'd have a happy ending. They all thought everything would
be alright.
Author's Notes: Kay my disclaimer and the site I used in the last chapter got eaten. xD I didn't even notice it so here ya go. Just navigate around there and you'll find what I used. The internet is good for some things. It really is. Well I'll leave you to read the chapter now. Ah, and my apologies for the long delay in the release of the newest chapter. I've been kinda busy with stuff.
Toukitoshi's broken heart- No, I don't actually. I did a lot of searching on Google to find a site with that much information on it. When I got to that part I spent a few days reading several pages on the site to figure a few things out. I don't know all that much about leukemia, but the site I used helped me with it.
Chapter 2
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"Eh?" Doctor Hitari said as she lifted her head when she heard the phone ringing. It rang a few times before she remembered Isara had gone to pick something up for her. She pressed a button on the base as she lifted the phone, answering the call.
"Is Doctor Hitari in?" asked a familiar voice on the other end of the line.
"This is Doctor Hitari speaking."
"Hitari-san, would… would it be possible for you to come out to the Shidou dojo right away? I… I think there's something wrong with Hikaru," he said quickly.
"I think I might be able to. My schedule is clear for the rest of the day. When Isara returns I should be there in about 30 minutes alright?"
She heard a muttered reply that sounded like alright before the call was ended. She sighed inwardly and set the phone back down on the receiver. She glanced at her watch and sighed. Isara would be back any minute now with the package.
After Isara returned with the package, she joined Doctor Hitari in gathering up a few things before they headed out to the doctor's car. Doctor Hitari had told Isara she'd gotten a call from Satoru Shidou about Hikaru Shidou. The younger woman only nodded in understanding, and soon enough they were off to the Shidou dojo.
"So what do you think it is?" Isara asked, looking over at the doctor.
"Hard to say since I don't know what happened. Once we get there, I'll find out what's going on with her now. I can't simply tell over the phone. But it probably has something to do with the fact that she hasn't told them about it yet."
"You think so?"
"Yes. That's why I wanted her to tell me whom she's told other than her family tomorrow. She can't keep it a secret forever. Especially not now since she stopped responding to treatments not to long ago."
"I see," Isara said as she turned head and look out through the front window of the car. She leaned back in her seat and sighed inwardly, lifting her head to look at the roof of the car. The rest of the trip was in silence after that. The only sound in the car was the music coming from the radio.
-----
About a half an hour later, Doctor Hitari pulled up outside the Shidou Dojo. During the drive it had started drizzling, and as luck would have it, she had an umbrella. She grabbed her bag from the backseat and left the car, Isara hurrying to join her under the umbrella as soon as she'd opened it.
The doctor glanced at her and smiled before she put a hand on the wooden gate when they approached it, slowly pushing it open. Hitari closed the gate behind them. It was a common enough thing for her to come here, so she always let herself in. Ahead of them a door slid open to reveal Satoru Shidou. Doctor Hitari smiled lightly as she approached, Isara at her side. Hitari closed the umbrella and entered the place with Isara, dropping the umbrella into a tall, thin metal canister by the door.
"Alright," Hitari said. "Take me to my little trouble maker."
Satoru nodded. "She's this way."
Hitari paused when she felt several pairs of eyes on her. She turned her head and looked at the group. "Can I assume these are all the people she wants to tell but was never able to gather up the courage to tell them until today?"
"Yes," Satoru said. "And she passed out right before she even told them."
"Oh bother," Hitari said. "See this is why I wanted her to tell them sooner," she said as she rubbed the side of her head with the palm of her hand. "Especially now that it's finally happened."
"What's finally happened?"
"I'll explain in a minute," she replied. "For now I need to find out what's wrong with her this time."
Satoru nodded as he led Doctor Hitari and Isara out of the room to the one Hikaru was currently in.
-----
"Hikaru," Doctor Hitari crooned. "Wake up my little trouble maker," she said softly.
When she didn't wake, Hitari leaned closer to her ear and said, "If you don't wake up I'll have to take advantage of this situation and do what I've always wanted to." Behind her back Isara stifled her giggling as Hikaru suddenly sat up staring at the doctor.
"That's not funny!" Hikaru said loudly.
"I thought it was," Hitari said, laughing at Hikaru's reaction. "Now. Let's find out what's wrong now shall we?"
Hikaru looked down and started talking.
-----
They all looked at each other when they heard Hikaru's voice, saying something wasn't funny, and then a reply from the doctor saying she thought it had been. After that everything was in hushed tones, none of them knowing what they were talking about.
It seemed like forever before Hitari came back into that first room; her assistant had stayed behind in the other room with Hikaru.
"Well. Let's simply call this a lot of built up stress accumulated over the years. She kept holding in her little secret, and it finally backfired at the exact moment she was about to reveal it. That's nothing to worry about. But what needs to happen now, is they need to be told," she said, indicating the group staring at her.
"Is she going to come back?" Satoru asked.
"No. She told me it might be best if I told them. She doesn't think she can handle it anymore. So I told her I'd do it, and she's resting now."
"What's wrong with Hikaru?" asked the dark haired man closest to her.
"One second," Hitari said. "Let me introduce myself first. My name is Aruni Hitari. I've been Hikaru's doctor for the past eight years, treating her sickness. Before you start asking questions, I'll tell you up front. Hikaru has what's called Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia, or CML." Before she could continue, a young woman with brown hair seated next a young man with green hair, interrupted her.
"What do you mean, she has leukemia? How does she have leukemia?" she said.
"It's exactly what I mean when I say she has leukemia. It's an illness that there is no exact cure for at this time, though are still trying to figure one out I assume. As for how, well I can only really tell you what causes it. How someone gets any type of leukemia in the first place, I'm not really positive on that."
"So what causes CML then?" she asked.
"Well. Typically the patients that have CML have bone marrow that make to many white blood cells. CML is caused by a change in the genetic code of some of those cells in the bone marrow."
"What's bone marrow?" said the dark haired man close to her.
"Bone marrow is the tissue comprising the center of large bones. Going on, in those cells, part of Chromosome nine, moves over to chromosome twenty-two.
"When that happens this creates an abnormal chromosome called the Philadelphia chromosome. This then creates an enzyme that signals the body to make too many white blood cells. Currently, doctors don't know what causes the Philadelphia chromosome to appear."
"Isn't there some sort of treatment?" the young woman with brown hair asked.
"Well yes. For most CML patients, a drug called Gleevec is the standard first treatment. And most patients' disease responds to Gleevec. But because it's a newer treatment, there are still questions about how long patients' response to Gleevec will last. We measure how well Gleevec is working by looking at three responses. First is the Hematologic, or blood response, which is how well the blood counts return to normal. Second is the Cytogenetic, or cellular response, which is the number of cells with the Philadelphia chromosome. Samples of twenty to thirty of those cells are checked. A major response means at least sixty-six percent of cells are normal, and a complete response means all cells tested are normal. Last is the Molecular response. Molecular testing can find as few as one cell in a million with the Philadelphia chromosome.
"But if even a small number of cells with the Philadelphia chromosome remain in the body, CML could return. Ideally the goal of treatment is to achieve a complete molecular response. Unfortunately, we weren't able to accomplish that goal. But like some patients, Hikaru began losing her response to the drug over time. We tried giving her higher doses and combining Gleevec with other drugs, but not much seemed to happen.
"A marrow or peripheral blood cell transplant, also called a BMT, using cells from a family member or unrelated donor, an allogeneic transplant, is the only known treatment that can cure CML, but it has risks and is not an option for all patients. Even for patients in good health, other than their CML, a transplant has risks of life-threatening complications. Aside from that, there were no suitable donors to use for the transplant."
"So what does this all mean?" the same young woman replied.
"What this means is that her only option now, isn't going to have a happy ending. If anything it's nothing short of a miracle that she's lived this long, and that her response to Gleevec even lasted as long as it did. If there was anything more we could do, we'd do it, but there's nothing left."
"What can we do then?" she asked, tears on the edges of her eyes.
"At this point, treat her the same way you have since you've known her. Don't make her feel like she's being left out of something because of this. All she can do now is live her life as normally as she can. I'll tell you now that I don't know how long she has left. At most I'd say a year, maybe less."
-----
An awkward silence filled the room when Doctor Hitari stopped speaking. All of them, excluding the Shidou brothers, were still overcome with shock and sadness. Their beloved Hikaru was going to leave them, long before her rightful time would ever come. The one hit hardest by all of this was Lantis. He was the one that had grown closest to her over the years, yet she had never told him. All he had ever known was that when they had moved into an apartment together, she would leave their bed, seeking solitude. There was never a moment that he didn't wonder what was going through her mind when she suddenly left. He wished there was something they could do for her, but he felt he just didn't have the time to figure it all out. Hikaru had surely known this wasn't long in coming.
But why couldn't she tell us? He asked himself. The question was surely running through the minds of everyone else in the room who had just found out, all of this sudden information hitting them hard. What had made it so difficult for her? Was it the fact that she wasn't going to be able to spend a long and happy life with them? That she was suddenly going to be torn away from her life, her family, and her friends? He didn't know. He couldn't answer these questions. Maybe no one could.
Looking up, his eyes met that of the doctors, and what he saw there wasn't what he had expected to see. In her eyes he could see the sadness, a deep sadness reflecting his own. This woman had grown to love Hikaru as they all had. Not the same way, but it was there. He knew this woman had done all she could to try and help Hikaru, but there was simply nothing more they could do.
"Doctor Hitari?" said a voice from the doorway behind her, interrupting the silence that had fallen.
"Yes? What is it Isara?" she asked, turning to face her.
"Hikaru wants to ask you something," she replied.
"Alright," she replied, pushing herself to her feet. She turned and followed Isara out, going back to the room Hikaru was in.
-----
"So what did you want to talk about?" the doctor asked upon entering the room.
"That thing I asked you about earlier. Is it still possible?"
"Well, I'm not sure. We still have the ones from that third visit so many years ago. All we'd need is something from him and someone to do it, and it might be possible."
"But how-"
"Get him to come in with you tomorrow. You are still coming in right?"
"Yes of course!" Hikaru exclaimed. "I wouldn't want to leave you with free time on your hands now would I?" she said laughing.
Doctor Hitari smiled and laughed softly. "No I suppose not. But if he's willing, I don't think it should be a problem. There are several people I know who would probably be willing to do it. If he agrees to it, I'll make the calls."
"Alright," Hikaru said, hiding her smile. "And doctor?"
"What is it, Hikaru?"
"Thank you for everything."
"My pleasure," she said as she knelt down and embraced the young woman in front of her.