Ten v. SpongeBob: The Sequel
INT. TARDIS
Rose, still laughing, throws down her dishtowel and pads after Ten.
Rose: Wait! Wait, Doctor!
Ten: (silence)
Rose: (knows he's around somewhere, keeps searching) Doctor?
Ten: (more silence)
Rose: SpongeBob is cool. Really! You'd like him. The show deals with all sorts of important issues like the tension between youth and maturity, but yet is often absurd, if not totally surreal. (Rose giggles) Like when Patrick wonders how a camp fire is possible on the lagoon bottom and as soon as he asks the question the fire goes out with a loud sizzle.
Ten: (groans audibly)
Rose: (calls out) If you don't like that one, how about this?
Ten: (off in the distance) No Rose. Really, I'm good.
Rose: (she spots him up ahead) But… listen: it's about a brave and heroic Captain, a brilliant yet totally geeky and mostly clueless Doctor called "The Professor" and a dim-witted yet good-hearted sidekick.
Ten: (stopped in his tracks, back towards Rose) Oh God.
Rose: (scratches head) Hmm? Isn't that strange? Ya gotta wonder…
Ten: (tries to hide his head in his hands)
Rose: Anyway, they get shipwrecked on a desert island and have all kinds of bizarre adventures.
Ten: (shaking head, muttering softly) I don't believe this is happening.
Rose: Well, I mean, it's not a cartoon but it has a great theme song!
Ten: (still not facing her, gazes up at the ceiling) No, Rose, please…
Rose: (clears throat)
Ten: (whispers) Please…
Rose (sings loudly and exquisitely off-key):
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port
Aboard this tiny ship.
Ten: (finally turns to look at her) Rose?
Rose (continues singing):
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure…
Ten: ROSE!
Rose: (interrupted) WHAT?
Ten: I have something to ask you.
Rose: What is it?
Ten: It's very, very important, this thing I'm going to ask you.
Rose: (becoming very, very serious) Uh, okay, Doctor. What is it you want to ask me?
Ten: (grim-faced, but a bit of a gleam in his eyes) ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?
Rose: (breaks out in a huge smile)
The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed,
If not for the courage of the fearless crew
The Minnow would be lost…
Ten: (puts fingers in ears, turns and flees)
Rose: (shouting after him) Here on Gilligan's Isle!
Author's note:
Blame it on Ponella!