Ten v. SpongeBob: Several Weeks Later
INT. TARDIS
Ten is leaning against the wall, watching Rose as she washes the dinner dishes. Rose is babbling.
Rose: …and then I accidentally hit her in the face with it. Broke her nose! I was only five, or maybe six, seven at the most, and I'm sure I didn't…
Ten: (no longer standing against the wall; has, in fact vanished)
Rose: (notices he's no longer standing against the wall) Doctor? (sotto-voiced) Guess I was boring him. Check that one off as a non-repeater.
Rose: (hears faint tinkling of four or five random piano keys) Doctor?
Rose: (puts down dishtowel) Doooctooorrr! Where arrrre you?
Rose: (leaves kitchen, following sound) What arrrre you dooooinnng?
Ten: (sitting at a grand piano, poking a couple of keys with the index finger of his right hand) I'm in heeeerrrre!
Rose: (looks around, surprised) What is this place?!
Ten: (looks around, seemingly befuddled) Uh, it's the music room?
Rose: Huh?
Ten: (still poking random keys, still looking mystified) Um… it's where I keep the piano?
Rose: Okay… It's just I've never seen it before.
Ten: (shrugs) Maybe you've never gone looking for it before?
Rose: So what are you doing?
Ten: (scoots over) Come here, sit down.
Rose: (sits close to him on the piano bench, shoulder touching shoulder) Alright…?
Ten: (continues poking seemingly random piano keys with a single finger) I've been thinking…
Rose: Oh-oh.
Ten: (ignores her) You didn't think I'd just let you win like that, do you?
Rose: Win? Win what? This isn't a competition…
Ten: (smiles wickedly, notes are sounding a little less random) Oh Rose, you should know by now everything is a competition. And well… there's this show…
Rose: (gasps as he places his other hand on the keyboard and starts playing more complex notes and chords with all ten fingers; the music is eerily, almost familiar)
Ten: It's about an honorable, wise and courageous Captain, a witty, extremely smart and sexy (clicks his tongue and winks) Doctor, and a loyal but dim-witted, and essentially harmless yeoman assistant.
Rose: (scoots a few inches away from him)
Ten: (glances at her sidelong as he begins to play a recognizable tune) They are on this beautiful, fantastic, ship…
Rose: (groaning) Oh geez…
Ten: Having romantic, exciting adventures…
Rose: (closes eyes, shakes head)
Ten: (accompanying himself on the piano starts to sing, softly at first)
Love, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Love, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you…
Rose: (alarmed, slides farther away)
Ten: (voice and piano becoming louder)
Love Boat soon will be making another run
The Love Boat promises something for everyone…
Rose: (slides off the piano bench and nearly falls down) Oh no!
Ten: (interrupting himself before continuing) Oh yes!
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance…
Rose: (scrambles towards the door) Eek!
Ten: (still playing, calls to her) Rose!
Rose: (horrified) What?
Ten: (tosses her a white purser's cap, she catches it) Game on! And if you can top this, well… I'll just have to keep trying.
Rose: (muttering under her breath, disappears with the cap)
Ten: (reaching a crescendo)
Love won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE! It's
LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!
Ten: (stops playing, smiles triumphantly)
Author's note:
This one I totally blame on Haleine.