Ten v. SpongeBob: 'Can We Fix It?' Edition
EXT. ALIEN PLANET, NIGHTTIME
Ten, Rose and Jack are running for their lives from icky spacemonsters.
Ten: (breathing hard, yells) Rose?! Jack?!
Rose: (breathing hard) Here!
Jack: (breathing hard) Present and accounted for!
Ten: I think we've overstayed our welcome! Head for the TARDIS!
Rose: Right!
Jack: Heading!
INT. TARDIS
Ten: (scrambles to console; barks over shoulder) Last one in – close and lock the doors!
Jack: (closes doors) Aye, aye, Sir!
Rose: (scurries down to Ten) Whew! That was close!
Jack: (loud external banging) Doctor! They're trying to get in!
Ten: (manically twirls knobs, pumps levers and such) Time to go!
Jack: (joins them; banging gets louder) You think?
Ten: (with theatrical flourish punches big button, TARDIS makes pathetic whimpering sound) Oh...
Rose: What's wrong?
Ten: (widens eyes) They have a Series-5 Varon-T Casimir Chronometric Disruptor!
Rose: Huh?!
Ten: (very agitated) This is not good…
Jack: (banging grows even louder) Doctor, tell us what's wrong!
Ten: (yells over continued banging) They've crashed the TARDIS operating system like a bad piece of software! Her database is hosed! Her network protocol stack flattened! Her machine code corrupted! We're not going anywhere!
Rose: (looks at Jack, clears throat)
Jack: (looks at Rose, clears throat)
Ten: (oblivious to sundry looks and/or throat clearing) I'm so sorry! She's dead! My TARDIS is dead! There's nothing I can do! We're all doomed!
Rose: (sidles over to Jack, squeezes his bicep; outside banging becomes more rhythmic) Can we fix it?
Jack: (pulls large sledge hammer out of a coat pocket, hands it to Rose) Yes we can!
Ten: (finally notices them) What?
Jack: (draws a big honkin' space gun out from under his coat and grins) Ha! Series-8 Metrion quantum anti-disruptor!
Rose: (huskily) Oooh!
Ten: What?!
Jack: (nods towards Ten, winks at Rose) I always thought he was a whole lot like Muck! He so acts before he thinks…
Rose: (smiles) Oh no, he's Spud! He's that creepy sometimes!
Jack: (laughs wickedly, raises anti-disruptor into the air) You like my tool, Wendy?
Rose: (flashes eyes) I love your tool, Bob!
Ten: WHAT?! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!
Rose: (giggles) Muck to the rescue! (starts to sing)
Hey!
Time to get busy, such a lot to do…
Jack: (sings loudly)
Building and fixing till it's good as new…
Rose: (sings in response)
Bob and the gang have so much fun…
Jack and Rose: (sing together)
Working together, they get the job done.
Can we build it? Yeah!
Can we fix it? Yeah!
Ten: WHAT??
Jack: (grins hugely, eyes sparkle) I do believe you're right, he is Spud!
Rose: (laughs as she sings)
Pilchard and Bird, Travis and Spud
Playing together like good friends should!
Ten: (bolts toward the door)
Jack: Oh look! Spud's on the job!
Rose: (breathily) He's gonna go get some of that LARGE, POWERFUL, MACHINERY!
Jack: Ooooh!
Ten: (glares at them over his shoulder) It occurs to me it's safer outside than in here!
Ten: (slams door on his way out)
Jack and Rose: (sing together merrily)
Bob the Builder
Can we fix it?
Bob the Builder
Yes, we can! Yeah!
Author's note:
Gee... Thanks for this one goes to: elegos-sirinial-shamtul and Bad Wolf Jr. Hope you're happy now! (Heh)