Chapter four: A Family Reunion

Finally it was time for us to meet Findarato in Lorien. Earwen was overjoyed when I gave her the news that he had Returned. She had initially wished to go to Lorien immediately whether we were supposed to or not, but was stayed by Lord Namo's orders. I was overjoyed too, of course, but also a little worried. Judging from Earendil's words, Middle-earth sounded like a terrible place and I was unsure how he might have changed. Mandos, too, changed people. I had not known anyone closely both before and after they had Returned, but I understood that the changes could be quite profound. Would I know my son?

We followed one of Irmo's Maiar into the gardens down a winding path. Aiwen was with us, as she also had to receive her son. I was not sure where the Maia taking us, and I would have been utterly lost without him. After about an hour we came to the border of yet another small glade filled with flowers. Another maia greeted us there. Aiwen left with her guide to go and find her son, but I hardly noticed. "How is he?" Earwen asked the Maia.

"He is well, I believe. You will find him changed, but not for the worse, I think. He has grown. Why don't you go and meet him?"

Earwen and I exchanged glances and began to walk forward. The Maia stepped out of the path to let us pass, and I saw my son. He was sitting on the grass beside a small pond, fiddling with some Elanor flowers. His face was mostly hidden behind his blond hair. He hadn't seen us.

Earwen ran forward, but I found myself hanging back. Findarato heard Earwen's footsteps and looked up. He dropped the flowers and sprang to his feet. "Mother!? Father!" He cried, looking at once overjoyed and terrified. I started running too. Earwen reached him first, and threw her arms around him, nearly knocking him over. I arrived a few seconds later and embraced both of them soundly. Nothing about the next few minutes is very clear. We laughed, cried, and tried incoherently to speak to one another. Finally we all calmed down enough to step back a little and talk to one another.

Findarato started by apologizing, or tried to. Earwen cut him off. "You can do that later. Right now I am so glad to see you alive I don't care what you have or haven't done! How are you?" She looked critically at him. "You look well enough, but I swear you did not glow like that before." I blinked, and looked at him more critically. He did glow. It was subtle, and less bright than that of the Maiar, but it was definitely there.

"It's an effect of being Returned," Findarato explained. "Olorin tells me that I will be able to turn it off when I want to, but I haven't figured out how to do that yet."

"So long as you are back and in one piece I couldn't care less if you glowed like a lantern!" I said. "You seemed solid enough when I embraced you, but how do you feel?"

"I feel very well. I am still a little disoriented and my hroa and fea sometimes get confused, which makes me clumsy, but it is wonderful to be alive. You forget what it's like, in Mandos' halls." He paused. "It is so good to see you again. I've missed you so much."

"And we've missed you. Don't do that to me again." I said.

"I don't intend to - not that any of us can see all the paths of the future," Findarato said. "How have things been here in Valinor? Olorin told me a little, but I'd rather know what you think."

"At first, very bad," said Earwen. "The darkness after the destruction of the Two Trees darkened all our hearts, and it has taken Yeni to repair the the relationship between the Noldor and the Teleri. Even so, things are not right, and I doubt they ever will be again."

"I doubt things will ever be as they were before the trees died", I said. "But life goes on, and from what Earendil has told me, Middle-earth sounds far worse."

"It was. But that does not make what happened here any easier to endure."

"Too true," Earwen said.

We fell silent. "Let's not let that sully the moment," I said. "Today is for joy. I'm taking the next couple of days off from my official duties. Are you ready to come home?"

"Yes, father, I am," he said.

Together, we walked out of the gardens and rode home to Tirion.