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Close to You
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The Walk
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'Inside-out, upside-down,
Twisting beside myself
Stop that now,
'Cause you and I were never meant to be'
"No no no no no no nooooo…"
The Piemaker, clearly depressed, shook his head in agony facedown in his hands. His hair was awry, his clothes wrinkled, and the stress and exhaustion on his face could be seen from miles away.
Across from him was the grumpy detective Emerson Cod, who the Piemaker called two in the morning to join him in The Pie Hole, for reasons he did not specify. Since Ned was exhausted, he could not promise him pie, only his miserable company and the song playing in the background, which only made Emerson more grumpy.
And to make matters worse, it was raining.
'I think you'd better leave
It's not safe in here
I feel a weakness coming on
Alright then,
I could keep your number for a rainy day
That's where this ends
No mistakes no misbehaving'
"Okay pie boy, you better tell why the hell you called me here in TWO IN THE MORNING, to listen to you moan, to this crappy song, and to the pouring rain outside, WITH NO PIE?!"
Emerson's anger was ignored by the Piemaker who spoke without lifting his head, muffling every word.
"OhEmersonImadesuchamessoutofthingsIdon'tknowwhattodo…"
"Excuse me?"
"I made a huge mess of things and I have no idea what to do! What do I do? I don't know what to do!"
'I was doing so well
Could we just be friends?
I feel a weakness coming on'
"Then why the hell are you talking to me about it?! You should be talking to dead girl, or pie girl, not me!"
"I CAN'T talk to Chuck cause she won't talk to me, and I CAN'T talk to Olive cause it's about me not able to be with her so I can be with Chuck! I don't want to hurt anyone anymore Emerson! I c-can't! I hate making people sad! I hate using the word hate! This isn't me! I-I can't-"
"Okay stop. Now see there's your problem. Who do you love more? Dead or pie girl?"
"…Chuck-OW!"
"Wrong answer!"
With a quick flick of his wrist, Emerson had smacked Ned on the back of head, who looked at him with shock.
"What did you do that for?!"
'It's not meant to be like this
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
Yeah
No it's not meant to be like this
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
So that makes it all your fault'
"Look, I know that dead girl is your childhood sweet heart and all that jazz, but it isn't realistic! Face it! You can NEVER touch her naturally! You either date someone else, or kill her again! Cause watching you two skirt around each other is really getting on my nerves! You're spending so much time with her, you don't notice pie girl crazily trying to win your affections! It's so sweet and desperate it's gross!"
At that moment, Ned knew it was true. It was the cold hard fact, he knew it. But he did not want to accept it. He had no words. Not for him, not for Emerson, and not for either Chuck or Olive. All he could do was listen to the harsh reality called Emerson Cod.
"You are having so much trouble with this because Chuck can never be touched! You are frustrated both ways! Olive is a REAL and ALIVE girl! And you need to talk to those two to end this damn thing! Seriously! I see it everyday and I want to puke."
'Inside-out, upside-down,
Twisting beside myself
Stop that now
You're as close as it gets
Without touching me'
The Piemaker shut his eyes painfully while the song drifted in between him and the detective. He opened his heavy eyelids and tears freely fell into nothing.
"I…I can't."
"What?"
"I-I can't leave Chuck. I accidentally killed her dad, I gave her another chance at life, I can't leave her. I love Chuck, I want to be with her."
"But you CAN'T Ned! Do you understand that?"
"I'll find a way. I don't want her to hate me, I don't want anyone to hate me. I love her, I love Olive, I love you. You guys are my family… and-"
"What happened to the guy who never wanted to get close?"
"That guy is gone, Emerson. Or partially gone or I don't know. I don't want to be alone. But at this moment it's all I am right now."
'Oh now don't make it harder
Than it already is
I feel a weakness coming on'
Emerson sighed. And for a brief moment it was almost sympathetic. Almost.
"Look, you kissed Olive right?"
The Piemaker nodded.
"Did you feel relived? Did a giant weight off your chest lift? Did you feel good?"
Ned shook his head lightly. "No… I don't know why I kissed Olive, I thought it was because I needed it, I thought I did it because Olive needed it, but I don't know. I had to see, I guess I needed to touch…"
"That's ironic."
"I mean, I know I can't be with Chuck no matter how bad I want to. I knew it from the moment I revived her. But the thing is Emerson, I want to. She's the only connection I have left, I don't want to lose it."
"Is that the only reason you want to be with her? Cause she's your connection to the things you lost? Hell, if I wanted connection to the things I lost, I wouldn't be here. You know how that sounds right?"
He nodded once again. "Yeah…I know."
"What are you going to about Pie girl?"
"I don't know! I don't even know what I'm going to do about Chuck. I don't want to break Olive's heart, she been here for me and I like her company."
"Like it enough to love her?"
'It's not meant to be like this
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
Yeah
No it's not meant to be like this
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
So that makes it all your fault'
"And will you turn that crap off?!"
"I don't know Emerson. I always told myself I loved Chuck, and she saw, and Olive thinks that, and what happened between me and her, I wanted to be close to her once. I usually never want to but, I wanted to show her I can be close, but what hurts the most is… there was a spark."
"That's what happens when you get close. And that's what should happen!"
"I didn't want a spark! I kept telling myself I loved Chuck, I DO love Chuck! And, she and I can be close to each other! It's just certain measures needed to be taken."
"Have you ever considered that you're hurting her? Being around all these people you can touch, except her?"
"I know it must hurt Chuck, but I never meant it to be that way! She knows it, I know it, and all we wanted was to be together! I could never kill Chuck again to be with Olive, I could never live with myself! I don't want to!"
'Big trouble losing control
Primary resistance at a critical low
on the double gotta get a hold
Point of no return one second to go
No response on any level,
Red-alert this vessel's under seige
Total overload all systems down they've got control
There's no way out
We are surrounded.
Give in, give in and relish every minute of it'
"Okay okay, you're just repeating yourself now! Look, either tell Olive it meant nothing and tell dead girl you love her, and never ever touch her, and find someone else for Olive so she won't be mopey. OR tell dead girl you have to be with a real person! Ergo, Olive!"
"Emerson listen to me! I can't! I'm emotionally and psychically incapable of doing that! By kissing Olive, I betrayed Chuck, and and and I'm scared Emerson! Okay! I'm scared! I'm scared of losing them both! Life is bittersweet and it can never be sugar-coated! I learned that the hard way!"
"CHOOSE."
"I can't-"
"WHO do you CHOOSE, Ned?! Make a choice!"
'Freeze, awake here forever
I feel a weakness coming on
It's not meant to be like this,
Not what I planned at all
I don't want to feel like this
Yeah'
The detective sighed once again, and the Piemaker ran his hands through his already disheveled hair. Soft waves of sound, barely audible wafted around the air in The Pie Hole. To Ned, it was suffocating.
The Piemaker could barely hear himself. It couldn't have even been called a whisper.
"…I want to stay with Chuck. Kissing Olive, though it was reliving, it was a mistake. I want to be Olive's friend, and I want to stay with Chuck. No matter what I want to stay with her. And that's final."
Emerson stared at Ned for a moment before sending a slightly annoyed but satisfied smirk.
"See? Was that so hard? Now can I go home?"
Ned looked up at his cynical friend and gave a slight smile. He wanted to express his gratitude in many different words, but decided to stick with the easiest route for once.
"Thank you, Emerson."
'No it's not meant to be like this,
It's just what I don't need
Why make me feel like this?
It's definitely all your fault'
He grabbed his coat off of the table and rushed toward the front door, and somewhere along the way, asking Emerson to turn off the lights and lock the doors for him. And before he could object, Ned was already outside, stepping a step too far into the streets.
You know the saying people say, before the moment you die, time moves in slow motion?
They lied.
The Piemaker's world was quickly engulfed in white. Then darkness.
'Feel like this
It's all your fault'
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