Chapter Two: Gullible

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers in any way, shape or form.

Blame the content of this chapter on the lovely mixture of pain killers, antibiotics, and lack of sleep. :)

Nightshade eagerly darted around his room, throwing things ever which way, struggling to get ready. Today, he was going to meet his first human! Now, Nightshade's systems were still offline, thanks to the miscalculation in landing speed, but Ratchet promised to have everything back up and running within the end of the week. Poor Nightshade did not know a thing about humans, which was a fact that Ratchet and Red Alert were both well aware of.

A fact that they could exploit for their own entertainment. Ratchet felt a treasonous smirk grow across his face as the ever perky and peppy Nightshade entered the medical bay. Red Alert shot him a wink, setting their plans in motion. Ratchet then waved Nightshade over, bidding him to stand still. Ratchet began running scans. Confusion crossed what part of Nightshade's face he could see – the mech's lower face was covered by a mask, like Wheeljack's.

"What are you doing," he asked curiously, noting that Ratchet had had the decontamination showers set up in a corner.

"Just getting you ready to meet the humans," Ratchet said nonchalantly. Red Alert decided to pipe up and add his two cents into the conversation.

"Nightshade, have you had trouble sleeping lately? Any weakness?"

"Uhm…no…and no. Why? What's going on," Nightshade asked warily. Ratchet sighed gently, placing a soft hand on Nightshade's shoulder.

"Nightshade, we just want to make sure you don't catch anything from the humans," he said, giving Nightshade the most serious look he could muster up. Red Alert momentarily grinned – Nightshade couldn't believe them, no one was really that gullible, were they? A hesitant nod from Nightshade almost made Red Alert burst into laughter. The little rookie believed them!

"Alright, be careful of the organics. They spew fluids that dissolve armor," Red Alert said, ignoring Ratchet's glare. If Red Alert started off too dramatically, Nightshade would realize that it was a joke –

"Really," Nightshade asked, slightly breathless. Ratchet blinked in surprise. He hadn't expected it to be this easy.

"Yes. Don't let make optic contact with them. They can read computing centers," Ratchet added, turning to dig through a cabinet so that his grin wouldn't give them away. Nightshade looked frightened at this new discovery.

"Is there any way to stop it," Nightshade asked. If they managed to read his memories, they would realize that he was a she, and who knew what would happen if a mech got a hold of her! Would she be stuck breeding sparklings for the rest of her existence? Nightshade shivered slightly at that prospect.

Red Alert felt a little guilty for what they were about to do to Nightshade, but it was common knowledge that rookies had to survive pranks from the chief medical staff before they were accepted. Ratchet grinned – he was going to have so much fun with this one!

"And don't let it get its paws in any of the seams of your armor – they like to eat chips," Ratchet said, trying to sound as genuine as possible. Nightshade nodded rapidly. No wonder Megatron had been taken down by a human! If they were anything like how Nightshade's mentors described, a handful of humans could have taken down the entire Decepticon army!

After an hour of preparations, Nightshade felt that he was ready to face the humans. He had been thrown into the decontamination shower for twenty minutes and thoroughly scrubbed down with an 'anti-organic shield' of Ratchet's own invention. He was debriefed on situations in which he must run away from the human, appropriate greetings and conversation topics, and all sorts of regulations. Ratchet and Red Alert motioned Nightshade to follow them, and they set off.

"Uhm, where are we going to meet the humans," Nightshade asked tentatively.

"In one of the hangars. Bumblebee is bringing his charges over," Ratchet answered.

"Why hasn't Bee caught anything," Nightshade asked, a small frown on his face plates. Ratchet fumbled for a second, but thankfully, Red Alert had a quick processing center.

"Oh, he's been immunized against their diseases," Red Alert said, waving away the question. Nightshade nodded, breathing a sigh of relief. Bumblebee, while just as young as Nightshade, was a seasoned warrior, having actually fought against Megatron. Nightshade wouldn't have been able to contain himself had he known that Bee was being unnecessarily exposed to human germs without proper protection!

Finally, they arrived at the hangar. Bee was standing, talking to the humans by his feet. The two medics walked into the room, calling out a greeting. Nightshade scampered in behind Ratchet, effectively hidden by his mass.

"Samuel, Mikaela," Red Alert said politely, bowing his head to the humans. The teenagers waved up at him. Mikaela cocked her head slightly, noticing something shift behind Ratchet.

"Where's that new guy, Ratchet," Sam asked, leaning back on Bee's foot. Red Alert turned around, his mouth ready to speak. When he did not see Nightshade, his mouth snapped shut. Then he started laughing.

"Nightshade is cowering behind Ratchet," Red Alert said, leering at the tiny mech. Ratchet whirled around and glared at the now sheepish Nightshade.

"Go say hello," Red Alert said, a sly smile on his face. Ratchet nodded eagerly, gently pushing the mech toward the humans. Mikaela, Sam, and Bumblebee were instantly on guard at the predatory smirks on the medics' faces. Nightshade edged closer, warily watching for poisonous barbs and acidic slime spewing ducts. Their grins grew wider.

Nightshade crouched about ten feet away from the humans, watching them curiously.

"My name is Nightshade," he said a bit awkwardly. Sam walked forward, holding his hand up. Nightshade jumped back slightly and landed on his aft with a loud thump.

"Please don't eat my logic chips," Nightshade said, his optics wide. Once Nightshade had made the comment, it was too much for Ratchet or Red Alert to hold back their laughter. Sam stopped dead in his tracks, his mouth working silently.

"Logic chips?"

Nightshade turned to the mechs standing behind him, laughing and holding one another upright. Nightshade groaned as he realized that he had, indeed, been hoodwinked. Nightshade sat down, cross legged.

"I guess you don't spew acidic armor eating slime, either," Nightshade asked dryly, glaring over at the two mechs. Red Alert had tears of mirth dripping down his face. Sam and Mikaela mutely shook their heads.

"Bee, may I borrow your datapad," Nightshade asked sweetly, holding his hands out. Bumblebee shrugged and nodded, saving the data he had been looking over. Nightshade stood up and stalked over to Ratchet, waiting until he was about ten paces away to sling the datapad at his head. Ratchet managed to duck in the nick of time, still laughing. Nightshade found himself pouting as his plans were thwarted, but came up with an equally amusing solution. He stalked up to Ratchet and kicked him as hard as he possibly could in the shin.

Ratchet leapt backwards, yelping in pain and clutching his shin.

"You are a dead mech walking," Nightshade snarled at Ratchet, jabbing a finger in his chest plates. Then he turned and stalked out of the room. Red Alert took a second look at Ratchet's face plates and burst into laughter once more. The two mechs left the room, leaving three very confused beings behind them.

And yes, this has happened to me, but not like that. I always got pranked at my sites. Buckets of confetti over the door? Yup, been there, done that. Being told that patients had the deadly Ebola virus and that I had to go interview the patient? Yes, of course. Being teased mercilessly for falling for the above two pranks? Endlessly.

But I love my sites even more for it, because I got back at them all. :D