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Chapter Six: Fear and Loathing

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Jack felt his heart lurch in his chest when Ianto looked up at him, his eyes wide with fear.

"Stay away from me… I know what you did… stay away…" the terrified young man huddled himself into the corner.

"Ianto… Sweetheart… it's me…"

"I know who you are! I know what you did! You're a monster. Stay away!" Tears streamed down his face.

Jack swallowed and took a step closer, which only seemed to frighten Ianto more; in the next room, it didn't sound like things were going any better with Bobby, Wendy and Tim. "What did I do?" Jack asked his partner.

"You killed her. You killed my Lisa!"

"Ianto… Lisa died almost three years ago," he said because even though he knew he hadn't killed Lisa, he had shot the Cyberman she'd become. But in Ianto's mind…

"It doesn't matter. I loved her. I loved her more than I could ever love you! More than I'll ever love anyone! You murdered her!" he lunged past Jack, desperate to get to the hidden door on the other side of the room.

Jack caught him; the younger man screamed as if he was in pain. It tore at Jack's heart as much as what he'd just said, but Jack held fast until Bobby could get him sedated… Ianto sunk to the floor, crying.

"Shhh… Sweetheart, it's all right," Jack crooned, holding him close, rocking him gently back and forth, trying to comfort him but feeling like he was failing miserably… wondering, even if it was only the result of some altered state, if there was any truth to what Ianto had said about him and Lisa. "It's going to be all right," he said, praying that it was true.

Ianto looked up as if seeing him for the first time. "Jack? Cariad…please… please don't leave me."

Jack wrapped his arms tighter around his shaking partner; he was shaking himself. He'd never seen Ianto so frightened, so out of control. "I'm right here. I love you." He kissed the top of the younger man's head. "I've got you, Sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere. I will always love you."

"Everything is so messed up… my head…"

"Shhh…"

"We need to get them both upstairs, Jack," Bobby advised in a quiet tone.

In the next room, Tim wasn't in any better shape than Ianto. When Jack had scrambled down the ladder to answer the Welshman's pleas for help, Tim was already awake, looking frantic. He looked at Jack as if he didn't know who he was… as if he didn't know where he was.

Bobby and Wendy had been right behind Jack, in case he needed assistance; it took all of Wendy's considerable strength to restrain the American...

"Ianto, can you walk…?" Jack asked his partner. He knew he should be equally concerned about both men, but his heart was clouding his judgement… he would just have to trust Wendy to see to Tim. "Sweetheart…?"

Ianto shook his head, "Legs feel like rubber bands, Sir."

"I gave him a pretty heavy sedative. Not enough to knock him out…Jack," Bobby indicated that he should turn his attention back to the younger man.

Ianto's eyes had grown wide in fear again when he heard the word sedative; with Jack's attention back on him, he started to struggle.

"Ianto… Ianto," Jack snapped; he stopped struggling. He looked up at Jack, seemed to recognize him. "That's it," the Captain coaxed gently. "Stay focused on me… listen to me," he waited for Ianto to nod, to acknowledge that he was listening. "I love you. I need you. We have to get through this… just stay with me, here ok?"

Shaking, the younger man nodded again. "It's like… like my head… it's not my own… I have all these thoughts that aren't right… but they feel right… like you… you killed Lisa…" he started to cry again. "You killed her…"

"Ianto…"

"I know. I know, Jack! There is no cure…" he sobbed, shaking harder. "There was nothing you could have done to save her… but I… oh, God, what's happening to me?" he wept.

"Shhhhh," Jack pressed his lips to his partner's forehead, cradling him against his chest. "Come on, let's get you upstairs. Focus on my voice," he repeated, getting them both to their feet. "Focus on me. Nothing else, just me. I'll get you through this, I promise."

"Keep him focused on real memories, Jack," Bobby advised in a soft tone. "The good ones."

The Captain nodded. "Remember our wedding? Remember how nervous you were?"

"I was not," Ianto tried to laugh, but it was hard… all that blood… Lisa… shoot her…shoot her or I'll shoot you… he had been so sure Jack was going to kill him… maybe a lesser man would have…

"Ianto…"

Jack. Jack's voice. His arms holding him tight. Don't forget to empty the bins.

He loves me.

Their wedding. They'd been talking about their wedding. "I… I was just scared the Doctor wouldn't show up. I was afraid you might have to ask Rhys at the last minute."

Jack chuckled, getting Ianto slowly to the ladder; Wendy had already managed to get Tim up and out of the sitting room. "Remember how Nerys kept calling you a bridezilla?" he smiled at his partner, only barely holding back his own tears.

Ianto managed to almost laugh for real, "You should have seen her at her own wedding. She was going to have a fit because the carnations were the wrong shade of pink. Mam finally calmed her down… said in ten years no one would remember… Ner wasn't even married ten years." He stifled a sob. "Do you think… will we…will we have that long?"

"I don't know," Jack felt compelled to answer honestly. "But it doesn't matter. I'll take whatever we get and cherish every moment of it."

"Oh God, you're making me cry," Ianto smiled through a fresh torrent of tears. "I love you so much."

"I know… I love you too. We'll get through this… Do you think you can climb up?" Jack nodded at the ladder.

"I think so."

"I'll be right behind you, I promise."

"I'm sorry Jack. I'm so sorry…"

"What for?"

"Being like this. I feel so out of control."

"It's not your fault. Come on, let's just get this figured out and get you better."

"What… what if I never get better? What if… what if this is how it ends…?"

Jack swallowed hard, but the lump in his throat refused to budge. He wiped the tears from his partner's face. "Don't you dare say that, Ianto Jones-Harkness. I am not losing you today." Tears bit at his eyes but he held them in check. "Do you hear me?"

Ianto sniffled and wiped his face a little, too. "Loud and clear, Sir."

"Good. Now get your ass up that ladder, Mister."

Ianto managed another real laugh, albeit a small one. His legs felt like rubber, but with Jack supporting him from behind and Bobby at the top to haul him out of the hatch, he managed the climb to Jack's office…

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Tim broke free of Wendy's grasp as soon as they got into the medical bay… autopsy bay… they weren't going to slice and dice him.

He grabbed the first thing he could find… scalpel… he slashed wildly at her, blind panic gripping his chest. He didn't see if he cut her… he didn't care. He had to get out! He had to get Abby and get away… she wasn't at her desk…

"Abby!" he screamed out her name… they weren't going to slice and dice him like that guy he'd seen on the autopsey table earlier… "ABBY!"

"Tim… "

He saw her. His heart skipped a beat. She was ok. She was still ok. He held out his hand to her. "It's all right. We're going to get out of here, just you and me, Abbs, just like old times."

"Timmy…" dark-stained tears slid down her cheeks. "You have to let us help you… please. I'm your friend, remember? You are one of my best friends…" she looked up as Jack, Ianto and Bobby appeared at the Captain's office door. Ianto was clinging to him as if he was afraid to let go. "I know what's wrong with them, Jack…"

Tim gave a frantic look from her to the dark haired man… she was sleeping with him! "No… no, Abby no, how could you…?"

"Timmy, it's all right, I can help you..." but as she stepped closer, he backed away, towards the main doors, fear clouding his expression.

"Lock down the Hub!" Jack snapped in Mickey's direction. The sound of his voice made Ianto jump, but Jack held on tight. "It's all right…shhhh, Ianto… I'm sorry…" he said in a soft tone, re-capturing his partner's attention. "Come on… we can do this."

Mickey got the lock down code entered just as Tim got to the doors. They remained shut, even when he yanked on the bars.

"Timmy…" Abby kept a careful distance; he still had the scalpel. "Timmy, listen to me… you know me… I'm your friend. Remember? You and me… best buds…"

Tim shook his head as if to clear it, but then he looked at Jack again, cold hatred burning in his eyes. He looked back at Abby. "You're sleeping with him."

"What? Who?"

He didn't answer. He lunged at Jack, but something blocked his way. Something… big. Hairy. Teeth. Claws. Monstrous…

He scrambled back from it… there had to be a way out… stairs… stairs going down… down away from the monster… he slugged Mickey when the Englishman got in his way, nearly sending him tumbling down the steps himself.

Tim dove past him, making his escape, his heart pounding in his ears… there had to be some other way out of this place!

Jack looked to Wendy, telling her quietly to go after him, thankful that his partner still recognized his best friend, even in her other skin. "Get to him before he hurts himself," or does something monumentally stupid down there.

She nodded and gave Abby an apologetic look, wishing she could better convey that she wouldn't hurt him… but Abby seemed to understand.

Wendy pelted down the stairs after Tim, hoping she could get to him before he got to the Weevils.

Abby wiped the tears off her cheeks, trying to get herself to focus… she had to focus….

She couldn't focus.

"Talk to me, Abbs," Bobby encouraged her while Mickey got to his feet and Jack got Ianto to the medical bay. "You said you knew what was happening…?"

"I'm just not sure I know how to fix it," she whimpered.