AN: I can count on two hands the number of times I've welled up with tears when writing my own story and this chapter was one of those times. Enjoy.

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"Well Probie, guess another one of our famous adventures is coming to an end." Mike stared down at Gibbs with an almost caring sentiment. "You gonna be alright?"

"Aw boss, didn't know you cared…"

Mike put his hand up in a pre-head slap fashion. "Don't think cuz you're in a hospital bed I wont slap you Jethro..."

Gibbs managed a small smile. "I'll be fine boss."

"Well alright, but if you and that girlfriend of yours ever need to get the hell away from this place…you know where I am…"

"Mike she's not…"

He politely cut him off as he shook his hand. "Hey, I'm not one to judge…she's a cutie…"

Gibbs just shook his head as he took his hand. "Thanks again boss."

"I'd say anytime…but hell, I'm getting to old for this Probie."

Gibbs only nodded and the look in his eyes expressed his gratitude as Franks headed out the door. Part of him wondering when and if he'd ever see him again.

A week had passed and things were returning to a relative state of normalcy. Ducky had been released but remained on medical leave; spending most of his time between caring for his Mother and visiting with Gibbs. Abby had some vacation days racked up and spent most of her time with Gibbs as well; setting up her very own futon in his room for what she deemed "Gibbs sleepovers." Ziva and Tony were asked back to work to help with Vance's transition; and though they could've taken vacation time as well; Gibbs had wanted them to help. And so they did. Jenny's resignation had gone smoothly and for all they knew she was home resting comfortably.

Timothy McGee had officially filed his resignation and the job offers didn't seem to stop coming. But he let his mail pile up and tried his best to concentrate on his writing for a while. He received a few awkward phone calls from Ziva and Tony. But what seemed to be tearing him up the most inside was Abby. His resentment for Gibbs was nothing new and though it still hurt; he was slowly but surely pushing it aside and moving on. But losing her friendship wasn't something he'd counted on. He had tried calling but she wouldn't return his calls. He knew her focus would be on Gibbs and hoped beyond hope that she'd come around eventually. But the chance that she might not; scared him more than anything.

Gibbs was a bit startled to see Ducky arriving so late but he couldn't sleep anyhow. He put his finger to his lips and pointed down to a sleeping Abby. Ducky assured him he'd be as quiet as possible.

"I was hoping you'd be awake." Ducky began in a low whisper.

Gibbs had gained most of his strength back and sat himself up. "Probably a safe bet…feels like I haven't slept in months."

"You are not alone." The ME rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes. "Makes for a lot of time to contemplate our choices doesn't it?"

"Tell me about it." He glanced down at Abby. "You know, some nights I just watch her sleep and try to figure out why I deserve to have someone so sweet in my life...I haven't figured it out yet."

Ducky pulled up a chair and quietly sat down. "Sometimes we get things we don't deserve. Good or bad. You should know that better than anyone."

"Yeah." He replied flatly, bringing his gaze back to Ducky.

"It has been one week…have you contacted him?" He watched Gibbs remain quiet for a moment before shaking his head. "Will you?"

"No."

Ducky was a bit shocked and let it show. "Ever?"

"I doubt he'll be calling me for a reference letter Duck."

"No, I suppose not."

Gibbs read the look of disappointment on his face. "Nothing I can say will bring him back; I've spent the last seven nights coming to terms with that."

"Perhaps trying to convince him to come back is not what he needs to hear Jethro."

"You mean an apology?"

Ducky nodded. "At the very least."

"He won't accept it…"

The ME came a bit closer to his friend, both their voices still at a whisper. "That is up to Timothy…you must do your part."

"Have you?" Gibbs deflected.

"That I have." He sighed. "He did not say much; but was surprisingly receptive of my apology. I do realize however, that things will never be the same between us. But only time will tell."

Gibbs gently rubbed his temples. "You know I hate it when you're right."

Ducky shook his head. "Not often enough I'm afraid."

"This sucks." Tony spouted; shoving a few files into a drawer near his desk.

"Whining will not help the situation Tony." Ziva replied, handing him a few more files.

"I know. But it still sucks."

She shrugged. "Which part?" She gestured towards the empty desk at her left. "McGee leaving us? The Directors betrayal? Gibbs and Ducky almost getting killed?"

"Okay that didn't help." Tony almost slammed the drawer shut before plopping down on top of his desk. "Gosh this…"

"Sucks…" She interrupted. "You have made that quite clear Tony; the question now is how will we make it un-suck?"

He unconsciously scratched his head. "We could kidnap McGee in the dead of night and force him to watch Return of the Nerds till he agrees to come back?"

She couldn't smile if she tried. "Something more pliable…"

"Plausible…" He corrected..

"That too."

He shot her a trying smile. "We could steal his manuscript and hold it as ransom?"

"Why do all of your ideas include breaking the law?"

Tony shrugged; not realizing the correlation and concluding once again. "Man, this really, really…"

It was then the two concluded simultaneously. "Sucks."

Tim was punching away at his typewriter when he heard a knock at the door. It was nearly 4am, so he was a little bit more than curious. His apartment was dark; the only light from a small lamp above his writing station and he wasn't too keen on turning on any more. He approached the eye slot and with a loud sigh slowly opened the door a bit. Neither of them was quick to greet the other so Gibbs figured he'd have to get things started.

"Thanks for opening the door."

Tim swallowed. "It's not all the way open yet."

Gibbs agreed and let his eyes shift to the ground. "Tim…"

McGee followed the direction of his eyes and interrupted him. "The least you could do is look me in the eyes boss…Gibbs…if you can't do that, we don't have anything to say to each other."

Gibbs lifted his head and tried to get a good look at his former Agent. "It's a little dark…"

Tim eased the door open a bit before opening it fully. "Better?"

Gibbs nodded. His shoulder was now in a sling and he couldn't help but notice McGee's eyes fixating on it. "Doctors tell me I should be good as new in a month or so…"

"Same place Ari shot you…" Tim commented; his tone a bit quiet.

"Yeah…" He stopped as he realized McGee had been the only one to notice. "Just missed my heart…guess I was lucky."

"I guess." Tim replied flatly; his eyes returning to Gibbs face.

A few moments of awkward silence passed as the two remained at the entrance of the apartment. But seemingly miles apart.

"How are you Tim?" Gibbs began, not expecting much of an answer.

"Fine."

He cleared his throat as a few more moments of silence passed between them. "Good."

"You?" Tim replied, still standing in the door way.

"Fine."

McGee nodded at his response, then started to shake his head. "Well thanks for the visit; but I'm kinda busy writing and…"

Gibbs put his good hand up. "Yeah, it was silly of me to stop by so late anyhow."

But just before the door clasped shut; a hand pressed itself between it. Gibbs eased the door back open and Tim couldn't help but notice the look on his face. It was one he'd never seen before; not in all the years of working along side him. And that alone left Tim no other choice but to hear him out.

"I'm not good at this; never have been. Shannon…she was the only one who could get me to recognize things I'd done wrong. I was and am still pretty stubborn. When I lost her, I guess I just stopped caring as much about what I did and who I hurt. I got the job done with no questions asked…and could care less about how much of a bastard I really was." He stopped but only to make sure Tim was still listening. "I know you know I'm a bastard…and I'm not here to tell you I've changed or that I've turned a new leaf...I'm here to say…I'm sorry." He put out his good hand for Tim to take and after almost a minute of holding it out with no response he slowly lowered it.

McGee waited until his hand lowered. "Did you blame yourself for their deaths?"

Gibbs had to think for a moment before he realized he was referring to Shannon and Kelly. "I did."

"Placing blame was a good distraction from feeling loss wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was."

Tim shook his head. "Have you forgiven yourself for leaving them?"

Gibbs swallowed hard before slowly nodding. "I had to. It was killing me inside."

McGee had been gripping onto his door handle this whole time and finally released it. "Then what gave you the right to make me feel that way? You knew what it was like to feel guilty…you knew what it could do to a person…why…" He stopped as he eyes welled up with tears. "Why did you do that to me?"

Gibbs eyes shifted to the floor until he felt Tim's hand forcefully lift his chin up. "Look at me!!" He took in a breath. "Why?"

Gibbs wasn't sure how to respond to this side of Tim; and for the first time in a long time was almost scared. He couldn't bring himself to answer and watched McGee's eyes fill with anger. "McGee…" He took a step inside the door and felt Tim's hand stop him.

"Go…before I do something we'll both regret…"

Gibbs considered stepping back but knew what needed to be done. He took another step against Tim's suggestion and it wasn't long before he found himself stumbling back against the wall behind him.

McGee rubbed the sting from his hand before finding it hard to breathe. "I said…go…" He knelt down on one knee and stared up at Gibbs in silence.

Gibbs head was still ringing a bit, but he was able to stand himself up. "I heard you."

Tim was still kneeling and couldn't remember when he'd been so angry. His body wasn't exactly sure how to react and he found it more and more difficult to breathe. His emotions battling for control. "You…you bastard…" He swallowed hard. "Look what you've done to me…"

Gibbs took in the sight and was fighting back tears. He had only seen this reaction once before, and it was in himself. "I know…" He slowly took to kneeling in front of him and wanted to place a hand on his shoulder, but decided against it.

"I don't understand boss…I thought you cared?"

Gibbs shook his head; his tears screaming to come out. "What I did…had nothing to do with you McGee…it was me. So if hating me is what it takes; then hate me son. But don't think for one second that I stopped caring for you…because I didn't then and I never will." He knelt back up slowly and steadied himself on the door before stepping outside of it and starting to walk away.

"Boss?" Tim called back. "I'll miss you."

It was then a lone tear broke free. "I'll miss you too Tim."