A/N: Another Jack/Ianto chapter… After this, I promise, we'll get back to Tim and Abby. Thank you again for the reviews, fave/alert listings. They are, as always, greatly appreciated.

Thank you to ptath of Mayhem21 for help with Tim's stats... I couldn't find Sean Murray's (at least not Sean Murray the actor's) physical stats online (at least not easily.)

Chapter Eight: The Long Road Home

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Rather than chance the ladder again, Jack took Ianto to the locker room where he proceeded to begin undoing buttons, only barely keeping his hands from shaking.

Would they have ten years, he wondered… would they have another day…?

"Anything to get me out of my clothes, huh?" Ianto managed to tease him; he was shaking, too.

Jack smiled. The smile deepened when he saw his partner's deep scowl at the way he handled his clothes once he had Ianto out of them. "Sorry, the hamper's at our place remember?"

"That doesn't mean you have to throw them on the floor." His tone was dry.

"It's not the end of the world," Jack leant in and brushed his lips against the younger man's, relief filling him when Ianto responded. Each little joke, each snarky comment… having him return his kiss… convinced him that it was going to be all right. "I'm just going to have to bag them up and give them to Abby anyway. Now come on," he coaxed his partner into the shower. He doubted he would ever say it aloud, but the fear he'd seen in Ianto earlier, fear of him, had hurt more than almost anything else Jack had ever felt before.

"You should take off your clothes, too. You'll get soaked."

"Now who's trying to get who wet, hot and naked?"

Ianto managed another small laugh. "I can probably shower by myself, Cariad."

Reluctantly, Jack nodded. "I won't be far. If you need me…"

"I'll holler, I promise." Ianto caught Jack's hand as he turned to leave. "Those things I said… about Lisa and… and you?" He waited for Jack's nod; he saw the concern… the hurt… on his lover's face. "I know it wasn't your fault, Jack. I just… I keep seeing her face. I keep feeling all these things… things I know aren't real, but I can't stop myself from feeling them. But I know… I know you did what you had to do. I know she was gone long before her body died…. I just… I couldn't let go…"

"Shhh… don't think about it. Just concentrate on rinsing off. Think about… about whatever makes you happy."

He cast a deliberately warm smile in the other man's direction. "That shouldn't be too hard."

Ianto let go of Jack's hand and turned on the spray, letting the hot water envelope him. He focused on the memories he knew were his own, the things he wanted to remember.

Their wedding. His mother trying to tell him his father would have been pleased… his step father. He hadn't seen his biological father since he was so young he barely remembered him. The man he'd grown up with was the only 'real' father he'd ever known. They'd had a good relationship until he was a teenager... but at least half of that was my fault… Ianto admitted to himself... he wished they'd had a chance to make up… he turned up the hot water, making the shower warmer.

He thought about that night on the roof when Jack had wrapped him up in his coat so he wouldn't be cold…how good he'd felt with it around his shoulders. How warm.

Safe.

Loved.

I will always love you… I will never forget you…

He remembered the first time he and Jack had had sex… made love… dabbled… how nervous he'd been… how good Jack made him feel. Not just that the sex was good… fantastic even… but the way Jack had put him at ease. He hadn't had to. He could have taken advantage of the situation… but Jack isn't like that…

Ianto closed his eyes. He didn't get out of the shower until the water had become cold to stand there any longer. Jack was waiting for him with a towel.

"You ok?" the Captain asked hopefully. His expression was still pained.

"Better, I think," Ianto told him honestly, letting Jack wrap the towel around his slender body. He had a hundred memories of Jack taking care of him like this. Usually it involved a night of Weevil hunting or some other activity that had left his body bruised. Battered. He would never admit to his partner just how much he loved it when he pampered him. It was even better when Jack could run a bath, usually with lots of bubbles and bath salts… sometimes he didn't even get in with him, he just put him in the tub and sat in the room with him while he soaked…

Ianto shuddered as uglier thoughts pushed their way forward again. He forced himself to meet Jack's gaze. "I still… I can still… see it… all of it… those other people who died… that was my fault… I could have destroyed everything…"

Jack gathered him into his arms and held on tight. "But you didn't."

"Only because you stopped me."

He couldn't argue. He couldn't lie… all it took was one Cyberman… "You loved her. I… I am sorry, Yan. If there was anything I could have done… but even in my time there was no 'cure', no way to reverse the conversion process."

"I know. I really do know that, Cariad."

Cariad. Beloved. Jack felt himself relax a little more. "I got a change of clothes for you out of your locker."

"Never thought I'd see the day you were in a rush to get me dressed," Ianto teased.

He grinned, "Who says I'm in a rush? As far as I'm concerned you could never get dressed again. You know, there are planets out there… perfectly civilized planets… where nobody wears clothes?"

The younger man chuckled, "Remind me not to ask you to show your vacation photos to my mother."

Jack laughed.

Ianto let his Captain help him into fresh clothes and tried not to cringe when he saw that his partner had tossed what he had been wearing into a garbage bag… he knew it was just what had come to hand out of the storage closet in the locker room. "Have you heard anything about Tim?"

"Wendy found him," he reported what he'd been told though his com. Ianto had been in the shower for almost forty five minutes. Jack knew he didn't need that thorough of a rinse, but if standing under a hot shower made him feel better, he wasn't going to rush it. The others could hold down the fort without him to hold their hands. "Abby tested his clothes and found residue of what she's calling 'alien angel dust.' There's probably some on your suit, too."

Ianto blinked at the words 'angel dust'. "PCP?" he gulped.

"Or something pretty close to it," Jack confirmed. "You ok?" Ianto was looking pallid.

"Yeah… yeah, it's just… sorry, this is going to sound really stupid, but I've never… I mean…" he'd never done drugs, not more than a little pot and alcohol in his misspent youth, anyway. PCP would explain what he'd felt… what he was still feeling… "So… I'm going to be all right? And Tim?"

"Abby's pretty sure you're going to be fine, but Mickey had to hit Tim with one of the darts from the tranq gun. He's in rough shape. Bobby's debating whether or not he wants to treat him here to take him to St. Helen's."

The younger man nodded; they kept the tranqs loaded with four species sedative. One dart was enough to drop a fully grown Hoix to its knees. "Jack… I… I love you. You know that, right?"

The uncertainty in his partner's tone tore at his heart. "I know you love me. I love you too, Sweetheart, more than I ever thought I could love anybody. I never expected this," Jack admitted.

"When I die…"

"You're not going to die."

"Yes I will. Maybe… maybe not today… maybe today was just some bad alien drug trip, but someday I am going to die and I want you to promise me that… that you won't… that you'll move on. I want you to meet somebody else. I want you to love him or her just as much… as much as you love me. I want you to always be happy."

"Shhh…"

"Please. Promise me Jack. I don't want you to be alone. I love you too much… please…"

"I promise. I'll love again. But not for a long, long time. You're not dying, not today. Nobody's dying today."