A/N: Well, here you go. Cartman finally goes back to school and faces the problem head on. :D yey
Enjoy!
School
After making several more stops on the way to school, Ms. Crabtree came to a crude stop in front of a large building. Cartman gazed past his friends and stared at the front of the high school intently. Here goes nothing…
"…and then when the kid left the bus, a big black monster really did come out of nowhere and ate him!" Stan said to Cartman, who proceeded to close his eyes and rub his temples.
"Stan, will you shut the fuck up already!" Kyle yelled. "Look at what you're doing to Cartman!"
Stan fumed at Kyle's protectiveness over his former torturer, and then smiled. "Man Kyle, I haven't seen you this pissed at me since I found Gorak, the frozen guy. Remember? And Cartman was pretending to be the Crocodile Hunter… you, know, before he actually died and stuff…"
Kyle's face was turning the shade of his hair. "His. Name. Was. STEVE!"
"Remember when Cartman and Mephisto and those other douches were chasing after him when he tried to get away on the train?" Stan continued.
Kenny frowned. "Where the hell was I for that part?"
Cartman was ready to puke. "Goddamnit you guys, I'm so seriously…"
"GET OFF THE FUCKING BUS!" Ms. Crabtree roared.
The four arguing boys jumped in their seats and looked around. Everyone else had gotten off the bus.
"NOW!" She screamed.
"Okay already! Goddamn!" Cartman yelled back at her, stumbling off the bus. Why did everyone have glass shoved up their asses today?
He stared hard at the front of the school while the others got off the bus. His eyes scanned over the flagpole, every step, every tree…
"Well, here we are dude!" Kenny said, putting an arm around Cartman. "Remember any of this wonderful place yet?"
Cartman blinked and stopped inspecting everything. It was giving him a weird feeling. "Not exactly… but it doesn't feel alien to me, either."
Kenny laughed. "God, I can't wait for you to get your old vocabulary back. You're talking all weird, like the time you got bucked off a bull at Cow Days and you thought you were a Vietnamese prostitute for a while," he said, winking at Stan.
Stan smiled. "Yeah, Kyle threw a snowball at the bulls nuts and it bucked you into the snow," he said.
"Aye!" Cartman said, looking at Kyle. "So you were the first person to ever give me head trauma? Thanks!"
Kyle almost grinned, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, that was a long time ago…"
"Eric!!"
Cartman looked away from Kyle to see who called him by his first name.
"Hi Butters," Stan said to the effeminate blonde. He looked well groomed and had silky blonde hair past his shoulders. He was wearing tight blue jeans and a bright turquoise hoodie and an eyebrow ring like Stan… and a candy necklace? Was this guy gay?
"Hey, fellas!" Butters said, brushing a long strand of blonde hair out of his face. "Eric, I'm so happy to see you out of the hospital! I missed you!" he said, hugging Cartman.
Cartman was turning red. "Oh, um, wow. Thanks?" he said awkwardly.
Butters let go of Cartman to look him in the face. "How do you feel?"
"He has amnesia, Butters. He doesn't recognize you right now," Kyle said.
Butters frowned, pushing some hair behind his ear. "Aw, shucks! You don't remember me Eric?" he asked.
"Uh… not exactly," Cartman admitted to the disappointed blonde. "But, uh, I'm sure you're totally awesome," he added. And pretty enough to be a chick apparently.
Butters smiled. "Wow! You've never said that before!"
Stan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, tell me about it. You used to smear shit on his face and call it 'giving him a Hitler'" Stan said, who broke out laughing with Kenny.
Kyle almost smiled, but closed his eyes and regained his composure. He turned to Cartman who had a grossed out look on his face. "That's all in the past. Come on, I'll take you to your locker. You can come, Butters," he said, leering at Stan.
Stan crossed his arms as the three walked away. "Goddamn it! Just what the fuck is up with Kyle? I don't get him!"
Kenny watched them walk towards the school, and then looked up. "I'm curious…" he said, reaching down and picking up a pinecone.
Stan watched the blonde. "What're you doing?"
Kenny chucked the pinecone towards a crow in the tree.
-
"…and you can come over and my mom will make us your favorite dish, Eric!" Butters went on excitedly as girls waved at him cutely. He twirled a strand of hair around his finger. "You can come if you want, Kyle!"
Kyle just grinned and looked around the front of the school. This was the last place Cartman was himself at…
"Caaawh! Cah Cah!" a crow called from a nearby pine tree. Cartman stopped dead in his tracks, and stared at the tree, then down to the small clearing below it.
He blinked, mouth slightly gaping and clapped a hand over his eyes.
"Or what, you'll throw a scone at me?"
"Goddamnit! Why does that supid fatass always get away with this crap! Where's…"
Cartman swallowed hard and slowly removed his trembling hand from his face, staring as Kyle and Butters turned to him. His eyelids stung with tears when he looked at Kyle. That was definitely his voice… he called him fat…
Kyle's face quickly flooded with concern. "Cartman? Are you alright?"
Cartman took a deep breath and took a few shaky steps forwards. He had to keep his composure. He decided he had to stay strong, today. He would go back to the way he was. He was going to get his life back.
---
"…and of course, when you multiply this by the number of…"
Cartman groaned and twirled a pencil in his fingers. He was pretty sure he hated Math this much even before he got amnesia. He wondered how Butters and Kyle were doing in their advanced Math class.
"Hey Cartman, what would you say if I said that chick was my girlfriend?" Clyde asked him to his left. The brunette pointed at an attractive blonde a few rows ahead, grinning.
Cartman shrugged. "I'd say good for you." Clyde was pretty easy to figure out. He loved women. He was almost like Kenny, but Kenny seemed to flirt with every living thing around him. Cartman smiled and recalled the Goth kid that kicked him in the leg when Kenny hit on him the day he got out of the hospital. Finally a good memory he can recall… it felt awesome.
Craig, who was sitting to Cartman's right, rolled his eyes. "He has a crush on her," he said, bringing Cartman out of his thoughts. "Her name's Bebe."
"Mr. Nommel! Would you like to answer question 22 on the board?" the old teacher asked, scratching his balding head.
Craig flipped him off, gaining a long laugh from Cartman. This kid had such an attitude!
"That's it, Nommel! Go to the office!"
"Gladly," Craig said, standing up. "See you assholes at lunch," he said, picking up his empty-looking backpack and leaving the room.
"That kid is so funny!" Cartman said, still smiling.
"Well duh, of course you'd say that. You guys are both stupid and arrogant," Clyde said, laying his head down on his desk.
Cartman set an elbow on his desk and rested his head on his fist. "Is that so?" He was kinda glad Kyle wasn't around for this class, he decided. Kyle was really nice, but it was almost like he didn't want him to remember his life for some reason. He kept cutting people off when they went too in depth of how Cartman used to be. It's not like he wouldn't be his friend anymore or something when he returned to normal! "What time is lunch?"
Clyde snickered. "I was just waiting for you to ask that," he said, sitting upright again. "It's in like, ten minutes. You, me, and the other guys always eat lunch together, somewhere around the school. The cafeteria, outside, by the lockers, wherever the women are," he said, winking and nudging Cartman.
Cartman raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Riiightt…"
"You and me'll get some food and go find them when the bell rings," he said, ruffling his bangs.
Cartman looked at the clock eagerly. Maybe something would trigger his memory at lunch.
---
"Now, where the hell are those assholes…" Clyde said, wandering through the halls with fries in his hand and Cartman following him.
Cartman looked at each person in the hallway, trying to remember something about anyone.
"Hey dudes!"
Cartman turned around and smiled. "Hey Kahl!"
Kyle grinned back, which made Clyde raise an eyebrow at the two. "Wow, you guys are sure friendly today."
"Where are you guys going?" Kyle asked, ignoring Clyde's remark.
"We were looking for you and the guys, I think," Cartman said.
"Well we're all sitting in the cafeteria. I came to look for you and make sure you were okay," Kyle said, gesturing for the two to follow him. He wanted so badly for Cartman to remain a decent human being. The absence of Jew jokes was really nice, too. "So how was Math?" he asked as they made their way.
"Boring," Cartman said, adjusting his brown jacket.
"Like usual," Clyde said.
"Wow, you guys sure sound like a couple of intellects," Kyle said, walking through a cafeteria entrance.
"The fact that you would even say something lame like that makes you a dork, Kyle," Clyde said.
Kyle grinned. "Fuck you, Clyde."
Cartman looked around at all the faces in the cafeteria. He wished so badly he could remember someone. His eyes landed on yet another blonde kid, wearing a poofy brown hat. Now that was dorky!
He couldn't help but notice the kid next to the blonde. He stuck out like a sore thumb, with the pure black attire and jet black hair. The kid turned and looked right at Cartman, widened his eyes, and quickly turned around again.
Cartman squinted at the dark looking teen. What was that about?
"Sit down already, fatass!" Kenny yelled, craning his head back and waving his hair from side to side.
"Ngh! don't do that, Kenny!" Tweek said, shaking and leaning away from the boy. "You're freaking me out!"
Craig raised an eyebrow at the two blondes, while resting his head on his interlocked fingers. "You both need help."
Cartman sat down next to Craig and finally opened his Coke he'd been carrying around. After taking a long sip, he sighed with contentment and looked around yet again. There was some kind of numb comfort and recognition of the whole place, but it was like a brick wall was preventing Cartman from really accessing it. He felt like he was slowly breaking the bricks away, though.
"Stan, did you eat some of my salad while I was gone?" Kyle asked disdainfully.
"Why the hell would I eat your salad?" he asked boredly. Kyle shrugged.
"Well jeez, come on. You're being almost as annoying as… you know; those retarded yellow things we found in Starks Pond that one time…"
"The Jakovasaurs?" Kenny said, waving to a girl.
"Yes!" Stan said. "Well, we all found them annoying," Stan went on, talking directly to Cartman now. "You thought they were hilarious though, Cartman."
Cartman raised an eyebrow to him. "That's kewl…" Stan frowned and stabbed his macaroni and cheese. Cartman was boring the way he was… and he was stealing away his best friend! He looked up sadly from his lunch and stared at the stressed out Jew in front of him.
Cartman sighed in response to Stan's silence. He needed to find a faster way to get his memory back. Stan and Kyle were fighting, which Cartman didn't want. He liked those guys. And worst of all, he couldn't enjoy any of his friends casual talk because he wasn't himself. He was a no one right now. Maybe if he went to the root of the problem… the kid who put him in a coma in the first place. Who did Kenny say it was? Devin? Dan?...
"Do it! Please!"
"Oh, all right! Just hang on!"
Craig looked up and past Cartman. "Uh oh…"
The rest of the guys looked up as Cartman still had his head down, lost in thought. Darwin? No, that's retarded…
"Cartman?" came a high pitched voice. Cartman's eyes focused as the voice clicked in his mind, like a key opening a door. He looked up into the dark eyes of the kid he saw earlier.
Cartman stood up and slammed his bottle of Coke into the table.
"Damien!"
A/N: dun DUN DUN.
I sure made Butters sound like a homo in this chapter, didn't I? XD
Review, guys :3