Note to Readers: If you haven't read Outcast from Birth, you should read that before you read this. It tells about Sharra and gives you her history.
Chapter 3
The rustle in the grass had Sharra's senses on alert. Her ears swiveled, trying to find the source. She stood, looking around. The sound didn't come again. Sharra let out a sigh, starting to lose hope that her friend would show up. Maybe she'd been wrong this time.
The lioness started to turn when all of the sudden she was knocked flat. The wind was knocked out of her for a moment and the long tuft of fur on her on head fell forward to cover her eyes. She shook her head and let out a gasp of air. Then, looking up she smiled, staring at the inquisitive brown eyes of her best friend. "Mai," the word escaped on a long breath as she slowly regained her footing.
When she was standing, Memmai smiled and bumped heads with the other lioness and then slipped her head beneath Sharra's and began purring. Teary eyed, Memmai pulled back and smiled. "I've missed you," She said, pulling her paw over her face. She stared at her best friend, the smile never leaving her face. It was then that Sharra had to smile, for in her friend's eyes she recognized something; that same glow, the same feelings shimmering just below the surface.
"You too?" Sharra smiled. She laughed lightly, "You too," she repeated. The two nuzzled each other again. For a while, neither one said anything, but sat there, almost like lovers, heads together, basking in the knowledge that they would be mothers together. Somehow, it made it better, knowing that they weren't alone. They would have each other in this scary ordeal.
Having come from similar backgrounds, both were scared of motherhood, of what it meant, or how to handle it. Would they be able to? Memmai's mother had nearly left her for dead, and only hadn't because Ashka had taken her instead. Sharra's mother had only given Sharra the attention she absolutely needed, otherwise neglected her.
Finally, Sharra leaned back, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. "I'm scared," Memmai murmured, her head still bowed. Sharra nodded.
"I know, me too," She looked toward the pridelands, toward the place where so much pain had been endured, where stories abounded, both good and bad. A small smile played upon her lips. "We're going to make it, we have each other Mai, we can do this."
Memmai shook her head. Slowly she lifted her head. "You're right," she smiled. "Oh Sharra, we're going to be mothers!" She suddenly screamed, the Memmai Sharra remembered coming through. She danced a funny step and then licked Sharra's cheek. "Oh gosh Sharra, Katu's so happy he could burst. I can't believe it…I mean, we tried that last time and nothing happened, so I just settled in on my queen duties," Memmai shook her head, this time happy tears shining in her eyes. "And then the sickness in the morning came and I just knew, I mean..I talked to Ashka to be sure, but I knew even without his confirmation," she laughed then, so fun and lighthearted.
"Kieji and I weren't trying, it just sorta happened…" Sharra laughed. "But I'm sure glad it did, even if we hadn't thought or talked about cubs. Oh Mai, can you even imagine…me? Being a mother? I can't even imagine it!"
Memmai giggled. "Well I guess you're going to have to, aren't you? I'm so happy for you Sharra, and for me, and for Katu and Kieji! Oh and for everyone in the world, I'm so happy I could just fly!" Memmai shouted, tagging Sharra with her nose and then running off a few steps.
Caught in the moment of bliss, Sharra chased after her, laughing as they played a makeshift game of tag.
"Mom…do you think I'll be a good mother?" Kam asked, ears laying back against her head.
Sharra smiled, nuzzled her daughters cheek. "No honey, I don't think, I know that you will be a good mother. You'll have me and your father alongside you, and your brother…" she laughed. "Though how much help he'll be, I'm not sure, considering he's not sure how long he'll be around," The lioness shook her head.
Kam nodded. "And the pride, them too,"
Sharra turned her head toward her daughter. "And Rahz,"
For a moment, only a moment, Kam's face clouded, then the soft smile returned. "Yeah, I'll have Rahz,"
As the sun began it's slow rise to the sky, Sharra made her way back into her territory. Though she knew that she should go back to the den so Kieji wouldn't worry, she was thirsty. The meeting with Memmai had left her in a good mood, and she knew once Kieji knew where she'd been he'd be fine.
When she reached the watering hole, she lay down, her front paws slightly in the rippling water. She drank deeply, her eyes closing and her body slightly relaxing. To anyone without a trained eye, it would look as though she had let her guard down and was lost in drinking the water. But she wasn't. Her ears twitched every few seconds, listening for any noise out of the ordinary, and though outwardly she relaxed, her senses were on alert.
And it was her keen sense of knowing when she wasn't alone that told her someone was watching her. She knew even before the rustle of grass gave them away. Sighing, Sharra stood and turned. Kieji emerged from the taller grasses. "You should've woke me," he said, leaning down to drink beside her.
Sitting now, Sharra stared down at her mate. "I never have before,"
"Yeah, but you weren't pregnant before," Kieji said, lifting himself so he was sitting, facing her. His tone sounded irritated.
Sharra sighed. "You have a life inside you now Sharra, one that you're responsible for. You can't just go wandering off in the middle of the night, what if something happened? What if you ran into a rogue or something?" Kieji started, shaking his head.
Growling, Sharra stood. "Any of that could've happened the thousands of other times I've went out to see Memmai at night, you never cared about it before. Why should it matter now that I'm carrying our cub? I'm not a fragile being that doesn't know what's safe and what's not. I'm not going to break if I take a walk and nothing is going to happen to our cub if I go share my good news with my best friend!" Her good mood had been spoiled by Kieji's attitude.
"It matters because you could've woke me, that way I would know where you were and I could've-"
"Could've what, Kieji? Could've followed me?" She laughed.
"Yes, actually," Kieji replied. "That way I would know you were safe! That our cub was safe…"
"Safe, safe, safe, safe, safe! I'm so sick of being 'safe' or being 'careful'. I'm tired of watching what I do around you so you don't get upset. I was excited about this baby Kieji, but I'm not so excited anymore. Not if you're going to watch my every step and tell me little things I used to do are wrong. I can't even hunt without you freaking out about it! I'm so sick of it, I'm just so sick of it! Let me live Kieji, let me be who I am! I'm so tired of you jumping down my throat over anything and everything that I used to do everyday!" unable to stand it anymore, Sharra stood, turned, and ran.
She heard Kieji yelling after her, for a few minutes even heard him trying to catch up with her, but she'd had enough. She lengthened her stride and put distance between him and her. She wasn't entirely sure where she was going, but her feet always carried her where she needed, so she trusted them this time again.