Chapter Eleven

Sweetest love, I do not go,
For weariness of thee,
Nor in hope the world can show
A fitter Love for me.
-John Donne

The low sound of Nick and Max's conversation drifted over to Jenny like a background hum of elevator music. They were discussing marketing research on one of the company's new products, something Jenny knew little and cared even less about. She was focused on her painting. Overall, she was satisfied. She would never be Botticelli or Vermeer, but for her first portrait, it was decent. It looked like him, for a start. More than him. The painting was her internal vision of Max, the symmetry of his features exaggerated, his hair thicker and shinier than in life, his eyes brighter. So what if she had given the portrait a mystical, ethereal quality? In her eyes, Max was that and so much more. He was her savior, her sanity.

He was the one thing in her life that made her feel like herself, like the Jenny she had been before she had come to Japan. And it was killing her that every moment she spent with him lately had to be shared with Nick.

Jenny covertly peered around the canvas to look at them. Nick was wearing his usual business suit that managed to look both strange and natural on him. He was nodding as Max showed him something in a folder, his brow slightly creased. Max was dressed more casually in grey slacks and a loosely-buttoned white shirt, but casual on him was like a prince in full regalia. He was explaining something to Nick, a hint of a smile playing about his lips. Max always had that expression when he spoke to Nick, as if there was something about the boy that he found privately amusing. It was one of many things that Jenny loved about him.

Feeling her eyes upon him, Nick looked up. Jenny immediately turned back to her painting and added a few strokes of black paint. She couldn't help feeling cross with him. She knew it was unreasonable, because based on the senshi-imposed safety restrictions, it was either deal with Nick or get no Max at all. But still, she couldn't hold back the bitterness that flooded into her when she thought about it. It was bad enough that she was followed everywhere by the senshi. Having Nick butt into her Max time was one more block on the impossibly high Jenga tower of her sanity. Sooner or later, it was going to come crashing down.

So intent was Jenny on her private seething that she didn't realize she was being called until Max snapped his fingers before her face. She jumped.

"Take a break, little girl," he urged, a faint smile on his beautiful lips. "You'll hurt yourself. Have a drink with Nick and I. We were just about to."

The drink was a nightly ritual. It was usually a sign that they were about to be kicked out. Max would have wine or sherry or gin and tonic, and Jenny would have her usual glass of Coke. Nick wanted whatever Max was having, and he would sip his drink, looking every bit a professional chaperone, while Jenny and Max talked. He never took a hint to leave, even though Max laid out plenty of them. He would only get up when Jenny was ready to go home. Jenny could sense Max's frustration at this, but, ever the gentlemen, he never said a word.

Jenny placed her paintbrush aside and followed Max to the bar on the wall. Nick was already there. He looked unusually distracted. There were purple shadows underneath his eyes. Jenny remembered Brenna telling her at lunch that he and Dalila had been out until 4 A.M. the night before. Her negative feelings toward him intensified.

"I'll have one too," Jenny said. Max was pouring himself and Nick glasses of Pinot Noir. He lifted an eyebrow at her, but said nothing as he reached for a third glass. The wine was a deep red-purple as it splashed into the crystal. It might have been blood.

Nick slapped his hands down on the bar and gave her a dirty look. "You're not old enough to drink."

Jenny snorted. "And you are?"

"I'd rather she learn here than somewhere else," Max said mildly as he handed Jenny her glass. "Besides, I understand we have a birthday tomorrow. That's worth a celebration."

Jenny choked on her wine. She hoped it would be taken by Max as surprise rather than shock at the new taste in her mouth. She fought the urge to cough as the wine stung her throat and the back of her tongue. She wished she had a glass of water to drink from between each sip, but she didn't want Max to see how unsophisticated she was. She took another sip, willing her expression to stay calm. When she looked at Max, he was wearing his casually amused smile.

"Birthday?" she asked, hoping to distract him from her uncouthness, before realizing he meant her own. "Who told you?"

"Nick mentioned it."

Jenny looked at Nick suspiciously, but he wasn't paying attention to either of them. He was swirling the wine in his glass and staring into the fire.

"Seventeen is a big one," Max told her seriously. "One more year and you're a legal adult."

Great. That was as good as saying he thought of her as a child. Jenny took another long sip of wine. Her slight frown blossomed into a smile when Max lightly clinked his glass against hers.

"Cheers," he said. And then: "I was meaning to tell you before, but it slipped my mind. I'm having a New Year's Eve party for my colleagues and employees. I would be honored to have you attend."

Jenny looked at him quizzically, her heart starting to pound. "What do you mean by party? Like…party party? Or do I have to buy a dress and act all proper?"

Max laughed, his warm voice resounding throughout the room. "The second, but I have no doubt you can pull it off, my dear. In fact, if you don't have anything suitable to wear, I will buy you a dress. I'll have Sera take you shopping."

"You've given her so much already," Nick said suddenly, giving Max a sharp look.

"Did I ask you?" Max said easily, eyes not leaving Jenny's face. Beside her, Nick flushed. Jenny was going to turn him down because it was true – he had given her so much in the last few months – but anything that made Nick unhappy was all right with her.

"Thank you, Max," she said, smiling at him gratefully. "That would be wonderful."

"Then it's settled," Max said crisply. He looked over at Nick. "I know I can count on you, Mr. Kestrel, to take care of the details of my little soiree."

Soiree. He used the word soiree. Jenny took another sip of wine, feeling the gathering warmth from her throat to her toes. God, she loved him.

Nick was perfectly expressionless as he took out his notebook and a pen. Max started talking about his party in great detail while Nick took notes. Max got up once to refill their glasses of wine, which Jenny gladly accepted. She knew Nick was watching her as she started gulping down her second glass, but he knew better than to say anything. At least with Max in the room.

Jenny had just finished her second glass and was feeling pleasantly light-headed when Max mentioned hiring an band to play music for dancing. "Dancing?" she blurted. Her mind flashed images of Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella. It sounded like the perfect venue for making a fool of herself.

"Oh, everyone enjoys a good waltz here and there," Max said.

"Most people," Nick corrected. For the first time all evening, he was smiling. Quite possibly he was remembering Jenny's first dance recital at age five, in which she had knocked over three fellow flowers and collided with the Dew Drop Fairy during the finale of her dance studio's production of The Nutcracker. Her parents had decided ballet was not for her, and promptly removed her from dance lessons.

"I love dancing," Jenny said loudly and untruthfully. She was feeling the heat in the room. Annoyed, she started to remove her black sweater and got caught in it. Max reached over to aid her, and she was eventually able to twist out of it. After tossing the sweater aside, she smoothed out her hair and looked at Nick. He was glowering at her.

Struck with a sudden idea, Jenny said, "Although, I don't know very much about dancing. I always wanted to learn, though. You know, like ballroom dancing? The costumes are so pretty."

She was babbling, but her words had the desired effect. "I know a little. I'd be glad to teach you," Max said.

"Would you? That'd be great." Jenny grinned at him. She stood, and for the first time felt the dizzying effect of the wine as she swayed slightly. She gripped the side of the bar with one hand and offered the other to Max. Smiling, he accepted. Aware that Nick was watching them, Jenny threw her arms around Max's neck. She pulled herself so close that she could feel the hard lines of his body and the relaxed beating of his heart. His scent, so strong and pleasant, reminding her of afternoon storms, filled her nostrils.

"You smell good," she told him.

"Oh, my God," said Nick under his breath.

Max only smiled as he gently pushed her back a step to a more appropriate distance. He took her hands in his. He then proceeded to teach her some simple steps and different types of dancing, from waltzing to foxtrot to the tango. Jenny found herself laughing giddily as he swept her around the room. She was having so much fun; nothing in her life, not a single moment in her memory, could match the feeling.

Max was still spinning her ten minutes later when a wave of dizziness hit. Jenny's legs seemed to wobble beneath her. She reached out wildly for Max's shirt. If Max's quick hands hadn't caught her around the waist, she might have fallen.

"Whoa, whoa, that's enough for one night," he said, steadying her. Jenny reached up and grabbed his shoulders for balance. Her face felt uncomfortably hot, whether from the wine or exercise or embarrassment, she could not tell.

"It's getting late. I think it's time for us to go," Nick said firmly from the bar. Jenny looked over at him with a frown. She had almost forgotten he was there. Nick stood and started gathering his belongings. He looked at her, clearly expecting her to do the same. Instead, Jenny's hands tightened over Max's shoulders. She let herself sway before leaning forward to rest her head against his chest.

"Gosh, I don't feel so well. It must be the wine," she said languidly.

"Do you need to sit down?" Max asked. She could hear the worry in his voice, and felt it in the way he carefully guided her back to the bar and helped her up on one of the stools. Jenny put a hand to her forehead as if she had a headache and shut her eyes. When she opened them again, she saw the two men standing in front of her. Max's face was taut with concern, but Nick's lips were set in a tight frown.

You wouldn't dare, his eyes told her darkly.

Watch me, Jenny flashed back gleefully. She slowly brought her head down to rest on the bar.

"I feel so dizzy. I may need to lie down."

"Maybe you should spend the night," Max offered. Jenny lifted her head and smiled at him gratefully, but Nick was unmoved. He picked up her black sweater from the floor.

"It's not necessary. I can get her home."

"I must insist," Max said in his soft way that was nonetheless firm. "It's better she return to her family tomorrow. I may have allowed her to drink too much."

"May have?" It was interesting to watch Max and Nick as they looked at each other. There was challenge in their expressions, equally heated from both sides. Neither appeared willing to back down.

Max was the one who finally broke the stare. He looked at Jenny, one eyebrow carefully arched. "Do you want to go home?"

"No," she said.

Max nodded and turned back to Nick. "Well, that's settled, isn't it?"

"But…"

"Goodnight, Nick." It was the clear, dismissive tone of an employer to an employee. Nick hesitated, looking at Jenny, but she lay her head back down on the bar and shut her eyes. Without a word, Nick turned and left the room. Jenny could hear his footsteps as he walked out, growing fainter and fainter until they were gone. Only then did she lift her head. Max was looking at her with a worried frown, but she rolled her eyes at him.

"That got rid of him."

"What?" Max's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Can I have some water?" she asked, springing up to head to the reverse side of the bar. After she had poured herself a glass, Max was still looking at her. On anyone less elegant, she would have called the expression gaping.

Jenny shrugged. "It's been awhile since it's been just you and me. I didn't know how else to make him leave."

Max continued to blink at her. Slowly, his shock melted into a smile. "You're incredible."

Jenny grinned at him, feeling very happy. "Call me selfish, but sometimes I want you all to myself." She wasn't drunk like she had pretended, but the wine was making her bold. Immediately after she said it, she regretted it. Max meant everything to her, but he didn't necessarily feel the same. To hide her embarrassment, she lowered her head and took a sip of water. Her heart pounded uncomfortably.

But Max surprised her. "Couldn't have put it better myself," he said. When she turned to him, pleased wonder in her eyes, he winked.

"I've got something for you." He reached into the deep pocket of his trousers and produced a long, slim box that suspiciously looked like a birthday present.

"Max," Jenny said softly.

"I know celebrating your birthday away from your family must be difficult, and I realize that you may not have told me it was your birthday for a reason. Regardless, I wanted to show you how much I…appreciate your being here."

The box he held out to her was silver and held together with a red ribbon. Jenny took it from him and looked down at it in her hands, very moved. "You didn't have to…"

"But I did. Open it."

Jenny cast one last look at him before slipping the ribbon off and opening the lid. Laying on the black velvet lining of the box was a necklace with a delicate silver chain. The symbol at the end of the chain looked like a silver cross except that the top was rounded and had a hole in the center. Filling the hole was a ruby of a deep, brilliant red that caught the shimmering light of the fire. Jenny reached down and touched it, feeling the coolness of the gem against her fingertip.

Max smiled slightly and reached over her to pick it up. As he unhooked the silver chain, he said, "It's an ankh. An ancient Egyptian symbol, supposed to stand for power and eternal life. I thought it could represent our friendship. Someday when you're off in Paris at a fancy art school with hundreds of young men and buyers following you around, maybe you'll wear it sometimes and remember me."

Jenny lifted her hair as he fastened the necklace around her neck. His cool fingertips brushed the delicate skin on her throat and made her shiver. "I would never forget you," she said earnestly, letting her hair down when he pulled away. She took his hand, clasping it tightly in her own.

"Thank you. It's beautiful."

Fire sparked with a loud pop on one of the logs in the fireplace. Still holding his hand, Jenny leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was gratitude for his gift, but suddenly Jenny wanted to get closer to him than she had ever been before. There was no denying it: she was attracted to him. But she was not going to ruin what they had by acting like a junior high kid with a crush. She was too comfortable with him to do anything to change their friendship.

When she pulled away, Max was looking at her with a soft expression. Just when she thought the situation was in danger of becoming too sentimental, he squeezed her hand once and released it.

"Now tell me – and be honest – everything that has been going on with you lately."

0 0 0

Yawning, Jenny walked out into the morning sun. She took a few steps off the porch and looked back at the mansion, imagining Max was waving at her from one of the many windows. There was a dull buzzing in the back of her head from lack of sleep. She and Max had talked until three A.M. He had then shown her to a gloriously luxurious room with walls covered in oriental silk and a canopy bed fit for a queen. She had set the alarm on the bedside table for seven A.M. before burrowing into the layers of soft blankets and falling into a deep sleep. After the insistent buzzing of the alarm clock cut into her sweet dreams, she put on the previous day's wrinkled clothes and slipped out the front door quietly. The early December air chilled her, but she was content. If every birthday could begin like this one, she would die a happy lady. Everything she had been missing in the last month she had gotten back in one night. She was herself again.

Jenny started down the path to the black gates, humming to herself. It had snowed overnight several inches, but the sky that morning was sunny and bright and still. She kicked the powdery snow in front of her, and it sparkled in the sun like sugar. The shimmer reminded her of the ruby she wore around her neck, which was so beautiful it seemed to glitter without the intervention of light. She reached under her coat to clasp the ankh between her fingers. Max had asked that she wear it occasionally and think of him after she left Japan. If only he knew. Jenny had no plans to remove it anytime in the near future.

The guard booth outside the gate was curiously empty. Jenny reached up to undo the latch herself and then gasped when something dark and quick moved out from behind the wall. She took a step back, clutching her ankh tightly, before taking a better look at the figure and relaxing.

"God, Nick. You scared me!"

"Well, good morning, sunshine," he said bitterly.

Jenny's initial reaction was relief, but that quickly turned into confusion. She stared at him as he undid the latch for her and pushed the gate open so she could step through. When he released the gate, it closed behind her with a loud clang, cutting her off from the security of Max's world. Nick looked, if possible, even worse than he had the night before. The purple coloring beneath his eyes had deepened, and his eyelids were puffy. His normally tanned and healthy skin was pale. He looked as if he hadn't slept in a week. His mouth had a sour twist to it that conveyed as much kindness as poison.

"What are you doing here?" Jenny asked. As her eyes swept over him, she found the answer. The fabric of his slacks was wrinkled, and his shoes had lost their shine. There were snowflakes dotting the jacket of his suit and his dark hair. It wasn't that he had barely slept: he had never gone to bed at all.

"Were you out here all night?" she demanded in horror.

"Not all night. I had to break a couple times for coffee."

"Why would you do something so stupid?" Jenny wasn't angry so much as bewildered. His behavior made no sense to her.

Nick stiffened at her words. Rather than answer her, he asked, "Did you have a good time?" The tone of his voice made it clear that he rather hoped she hadn't. Jenny found herself bristling at the sound.

"Why the hell is it any business of yours?"

"Because you are my business. I'm supposed to watch you while you're over here."

"This place is fortified like a castle. What did you think was going to happen? And what were you going to do about it if something did?"

"At least one of us is trying to keep you safe. Do you care at all about the effort everyone is putting in to keep you away from Lord Ahriman? Everything Usagi, your sister, has done?"

"She's not my sister," Jenny said automatically, digging in her tote bag for her tube of lip gloss. Before she was able to find it, she froze. Spoken aloud, the words hit her as a stab of pain. She hadn't meant it. Usagi was more real to her than her actual sister, Kristen, had ever been, blood relation or not. She didn't deserve to be cast aside so carelessly.

Nick smiled coldly. "Oh, well, that's nice. It'll make her life easier to know that so she can stop worrying about you all the time. I'll let her know how you feel."

"You can go to hell."

"Not so nice. Hate to tell you, princess, but you're not getting rid of me so easily. As long as you and Max continue your cuddle sessions, I'll be right around the corner."

Jenny calmly twisted the top off her tube of strawberry-flavored lip gloss and applied the gloss to her lips. As she recapped the tube and dropped it back into her bag, she asked, "Is this why you waited here for me all night, so you could catch me first thing on my birthday and insult me?"

"I am just fulfilling an oath. I promised Usagi and the others I would get you home safely after your weekly Max time. I live to deliver."

"You live to be a pain in my ass."

"Cute, Jen. You have such a way with words, you should be a writer."

Jenny turned and started walking down the street. She was infuriated, although not really surprised, when he came trotting after her. After a tense moment in which neither of them could speak, Jenny shot a look at him from the corner of her eye. He was so pale and his mouth was so tight he looked like a rubber band that could snap at any moment. She couldn't resist another jab to drill aggravation into him deeper. Her anger was making her feel strangely high.

"You know, maybe you should stop worrying about me so much and start worrying about yourself. You can blame me for not sleeping tonight, fine, but what about all the other nights you're out until dawn partying with Dalila and Lyyli? Do you ever go to class anymore?"

"At least I know who I am. I'm not trying to be something I'm not."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Nick stopped walking and grabbed her arm to swing her around to face him. He waved a hand at her as if that explained everything. When Jenny just stared at him with raised eyebrows, he sighed. "Those clothes, your shoes. Can you really walk in those things?"

Bewildered, Jenny looked down at herself. She was wearing short black leather boots with three inch heels over black tights. Underneath her long black trench coat, which she wore unbuttoned, was a red miniskirt and her black v-neck sweater that clung to her like a second skin, showing what little curves she had.

"I guess," she said with a shrug. "So what?"

"It's not you, that's what. I've never known you to wear anything but jeans. Ever since you started hanging out with Max, you've changed. You're doing it for him."

"Did it ever occur to you that I only dressed like a slacker before because I was trying my hardest to be invisible? I didn't want to be noticed."

"And now you do?"

"Only by some." She shot him a smug look, but his eyes were fixed on the ankh necklace Max had given her. It was shining against her pale throat. Jenny pulled her coat more tightly around her, trying to hide it, but Nick was already frowning.

"I see," he said.

Jenny started walking again. Nick didn't hesitate before joining her side. She could feel him building up for another criticism, so she beat him to it. "While we're on the subject of trying to be something we're not, how are your business classes going, Nick?"

When all she received was icy silence, she added, "I seem to recall that in your senior yearbook you said it was your dream to be an actor. You were going to go storm the world on Broadway or something. Didn't take you long to sell out."

"Well, what can I say? Money has made us both whores."

Jenny looked at him, heart beating unsteadily. "What are you talking about?"

"What do you think? Our darling boss. I take care of his business needs. You take care of the rest. The guy has you over several times a week. You're a teenager, but you're like his best friend. He gives you the kind of jewelry a guy would give his mistress. He's paid you so much you've bought yourself a wardrobe Paris Hilton would be proud of. He wines you, dines you, practically begs you to spend the night. And I'm supposed to believe he's just paying you to paint his portrait?"

Jenny felt so cold, she couldn't speak. Jealousy and hatred of Max were leaking from Nick, poisoning the air around them. He looked like a different person, consumed with negative thoughts that were eating him from the inside out. Tears started to sting Jenny's eyes, and she made no attempt to hide them. Immediately at the sight of her tears, Nick's poisoned expression melted. He looked pained.

"No, Jen, I didn't mean it like that."

"Of course you did."

"No, really, I…"

Nick tried to reach out to her, but she easily sidestepped his fingers. "Don't touch me," she snapped, shaking him off. Nick's hand stayed in the air, where he had tried to grab her shoulder. His fingers slowly closed into his palm to become a loose fist. She couldn't bear his insinuations, especially coming off what had been one of the best nights of her life. Nick had called her a whore, meaning every possible interpretation of the word. To think that Max, who was so good to her, would ever take advantage like that was disgusting. Jenny felt sick thinking about it.

"My brothers aren't old enough to care, but I don't think they'd appreciate your trying to take their place," she said icily.

"Your brothers," Nick echoed, shaking his head with disbelief. "You think it's your brother I'm trying to be? God, what does it take to make you understand? I'm in love with you." He practically yelled the last sentence at her. Jenny stood frozen as she stared at him. It was so bizarre to hear him say it with anger fresh in his voice. She felt a sudden desire to laugh.

"No, you're not," she said instead, as calmly as she could manage. It turned out, it wasn't very. She was shaking from some strong emotion that was determined to shred her insides. She reached out to steady herself against a nearby lamppost.

"You're not," she repeated. "Number one: if you really were, you wouldn't be trying your hardest to make my life miserable. Number two: you're basing this on one tiny fraction of your soul that thousands of years ago had a crush on a tiny fraction of mine. I don't buy the theory that we're ruled by fate, and therefore destined to be together. And even if we were, I don't want it. I don't want you."

"Well, I want you. Not some soul fragment from a past life. I love you. If you think this is recent, you have no idea. It's been hell not talking to you. All those years of seeing you every day and not being able to do anything about it because of some stupid mistake I made when I was a kid. I left it alone, because I could see you hated me, and who could blame you? I thought time would break it. I moved to Japan to get away from you, but the distance only made it worse."

Jenny wasn't prepared for the sudden deep reaction his words caused. Gasping, she brought a hand to her mouth. Tears leaked down her cheeks, leaving cold wet trails on her face. Nick looked absolutely agonized as he reached for her to wipe them away. His arms found their way around her waist. Jenny was too numb to resist as he pulled her against his chest. His head bent to lightly rest his forehead against hers, just enough that she could feel the fine trembling that ran through him, matching her own. Their breath mingled together in icy puffs of air. Jenny was very aware of the warmth rising from beneath his coat. A sudden urge hit her to return the embrace, to touch him. She wanted to feel his skin, the way she had in fragments of dreams of the past. The little bit of Bryn that harbored within her rose to the surface; she wanted him, all of him. She demanded to be heard.

"I don't want to hurt you," Nick said huskily.

His words struck an odd chord. I'll never leave you again, he had said in one of her dreams. Again, meaning he had failed her before. Even in the past, she couldn't trust him. How could she do it now?

Feeling her shivers calm, Jenny lifted her head. Carefully, she tried to detach herself from his embrace. When his arms instinctively tightened, Jenny brought her hands to his chest and forcibly shoved him away from her. Nick stumbled in the snow, looking oddly lost. When he lifted his head, his eyes were full of surprise and vulnerability, Jenny tried to look as cold as she could. She folded her arms across her chest.

"You don't want to hurt me? Then stay the hell away from me," she told him. Deliberately, she turned and marched down the sidewalk through the snow. As she had intended, he did not follow her.

0 0 0

Jenny cried openly as she walked home. She didn't care who saw her or what anyone thought. The hurt inside her was too deep. She felt as if part of her soul had been ripped from her body. She tried to tell herself that it was better this way, to make things final with Nick. They had been dancing around a dangerous game for months, for their whole lives, really. She tried to cheer herself with the thought that maybe now she could be free of him, but it didn't work. Any thoughts of finality with him pained her so much that she was overcome with shaking so severe she thought she was going to collapse right into the glittering snow.

Why why why did Nick have to be such a jerk? Worse, why did she have to care?

Jenny wiped her eyes with her sleeve, only to have them filled immediately with more tears. A sob rose in her throat, and she wrapped her arms around herself for comfort. Her legs started to stagger, not willing to move forward. She reached out wildly for anything in her path to hold onto, but there was nothing.

"Jenny-san…what's wrong?"

Jenny looked up. Usagi was on the sidewalk ahead of her, all bundled up in a warm winter coat, gloves, and a hat. A lot more sensible than what she was wearing. Jenny glanced down at herself with a grimace. Perhaps Nick was right about that…but she couldn't think about him.

Fresh tears slid down her cheeks and Usagi stepped towards her, alarmed. Without any pretense, Jenny flung herself at Usagi, sobbing harder than ever, so much that her throat hurt and her nose ran. Usagi caught her neatly and held her tightly, even though she was a good five inches shorter than her American sister. After most of her tears dried up and her sobbing subsided, Usagi put an arm around Jenny's waist and carefully led her back to the house.

"I was worried about you," she said. "Nick called me and told me that you were on your way. He said I should come out to meet you. Did you two have a fight?"

Jenny let out her breath in a little sigh. She didn't say anything. Usagi seemed to understand, because she didn't press her further. They walked the rest of the way to their house in silence.

Once they reached the house and stepped up to the porch, Usagi turned and looked at Jenny with sympathy. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked gently. Jenny shook her head, cheeks still wet but eyes dry.

"No, but Usagi…thanks." She meant it. Usagi's calm strength and open arms had meant much more to her than words ever could.

Usagi smiled at her before entering the house and taking off her coat. "No problem, Jen-chan," she said cheerfully. "Anytime you need me, I'll be there." Jenny smiled at that, feeling lighter. There was something about Usagi's nearly constant good cheer that was contagious.

"By the way," Usagi added hesitantly, her smile drooping a little. "Nick gave me something yesterday to give to you today. I left it on your bed."

Jenny's good mood faded away and she clenched her fists to stop from crying again. A bomb, most likely, she thought bitterly but managed to smile at Usagi. "Thank you." She made her way to the stairs, hand stretched out for the support of the railing.

Usagi stood in the hall watching her and chewing on her lower lip. "You'll be okay?"

"Yes, fine." Jenny shrugged at her before turning towards the stairs and ascending with a heavy heart that made the process difficult. She reached her room and pushed the door open warily, not sure she wanted to see inside. On her bed, as Usagi had claimed, was a neatly wrapped present.

Probably something awful, she thought as she neared it. I'm not going to get upset. I won't.

Jenny sat on the bed and reached for the package. Somehow, her fingers managed to undo the wrapping and ribbons, producing a white box underneath. With shaky hands, she took off the lid. What she saw underneath was nothing like what she had expected.

He had given her a tinted glass rose. The delicate pink petals and intricate leaves and thorns twisting around the long stem made it look like it was plucked from a fairy tale. Bewildered, Jenny lifted it out of the box and examined it. It was truly beautiful, something she hadn't thought Nick would be capable of appreciating. But why? Her eyes drifted to the box and she saw a tiny scrap of paper buried in the tissue paper. Cautiously, she picked it up, her eyes scanning the words.

It was written: 'Just a little something to remember! Happy Birthday, and (almost) Merry X-Mas. Nick.'

Mrs. Greensbury, Jenny realized. He means Mrs. Greensbury's roses.

Tear droplets fell onto the paper, blurring the words, but Jenny couldn't bring herself to throw it away. Not yet, not ever.

"Merry Christmas, Nick," she whispered and started sobbing once more.