Chapter Thirteen
No man can lose what he never had.
-Izaak Walton
Nick dropped the gun. The metal clattered against the wooden floor, and the sound echoed throughout the ballroom. The resulting silence was as thick as a gel. Jenny's friends were standing very still, not daring to make any sudden noise or movements. Usagi's tears were flowing freely, but she didn't make a sound. All Jenny could hear were her own pounding heartbeats. The arms that held her were as strong as granite, and the heart behind her just as cold. She carefully twisted her head back to look at Max. It hurt her to see just how cruel his eyes had become. They glittered with a clear triumph that showed he knew he had the upper hand, and he was loving it. She hardly recognized him.
"You snake. How could you?" Jenny's eyes were stinging, but she could not cry. Gone was the tender intimate look Max always shared with her when their eyes met. Gone was his warm smile with the slight teasing edge. He raised his eyebrows as he looked down at her coolly.
"Just playing the game, love. Nothing personal."
Jenny was too shocked to respond. She felt the pain of it as if he had knifed her in the chest. She wished she could be angry. She wanted to scream at him, yell at him, squirm and fight in his arms, but she could do nothing but stare. Everything she had thought she knew about him was a lie.
With his free hand, Max snapped his fingers. On the far side of the ballroom, the doors opened. Cayla, Azriel, and Sera strode into the room to stand behind their master. The first two were no surprise, but Jenny felt numb at the sight of Sera, sweet Sera, standing solemnly between them. Sera's eyes, as before, fixed immediately on Lyyli, but her face was void of any telling expression. Cayla and Azriel were smiling unpleasantly, each looking eager for the action to begin. As Max turned to acknowledge them, the silver blade of the dagger kissed more tightly against Jenny's throat. She shut her eyes, feeling the trembling deep within her.
"I hate you," she said passionately.
His muscles stiffened instantly. When Jenny looked up, she saw a curious flash in his eyes, something like regret, but it only lasted a second.
"Now that would be a true shame if I didn't know you were lying," was all he said. His arm tightened around her waist, but the pressure of the knife against her throat loosened slightly.
The others didn't see it. They only noticed how his arm pulled her more solidly against his chest and how Jenny sucked in a startled breath. Usagi stepped forward with a soft cry. Kelly and Makoto were both furiously cracking their knuckles with anxious expressions. Nick looked pale and helpless as he stood with empty hands.
"What are we waiting for?" Haruka demanded, looking around at the others as if the next move was obvious.
"For something to tip the scale in our favor. Right now it's loaded their way," said Kai sullenly. Across the room, Cayla and Azriel kept smiling.
"I don't know. Four against twenty. I'm kind of liking our odds," said Lyyli. She nodded at Haruka.
"No!" Usagi said shrilly. "We can't do anything. Not while he has her!"
"Do whatever you want. He's not going to hurt me," Jenny said dully.
Silence followed for a few nervous heartbeats, until Max said, "You sure about that, sweetheart? Be very careful before you say something you might regret."
"Jenny, watch it," Rei warned sharply.
Jenny ignored her. She tilted her head back up to look at Max. "You need me," she said matter-of-factly. "You can't afford to hurt me, even if you don't give a damn about me personally. I'm the whole reason you went through this charade. As far as I see it, I'm the one holding the ace."
There was a pause, and then Max started laughing – bitterly. He removed the dagger from her throat and pushed her away so roughly that she was thrown to the floor. "Cheeky but correct. You know me well, little girl."
"I thought I did," Jenny said. She rubbed her elbows where she had fallen. Instantly, Kelly and Nick were beside her, helping her up. Jenny's legs wobbled like jelly. She wouldn't have been able to walk without their help guiding her back into the safe circle of the senshi. Like sentinels, they each took a place at her side: Nick with an arm around her waist and Kelly with a hard, protective hand on her shoulder. Behind her, the others crowded up close.
When some of the senshi, led by Haruka and Lyyli, started moving forward, Max held up a warning hand. "Careful. You may only see the four of us now, but believe me when I say that I have an army of hundreds waiting for my command. It'll only be seconds before they're here when I call them. Miss Usagi can surely attest to that from the time she spent with us last summer."
Haruka and Lyyli stopped moving. They looked around at Usagi uncertainly. Usagi's head was bowed. She was still crying, and she did not make any sign that she knew differently.
Max smiled coldly. "I'm sure we can settle this like reasonable people."
Seeing his lazy calm, his certainty, Jenny was able to get her voice back. Much as she wanted to be cool and brave, she was mostly hurt. "Why?" she demanded softly and then louder, "Why? Why wait so long? You could have taken me at any time! Why did you have to befriend me and make me think you were so wonderful?"
At the sound of her voice, Max turned. He didn't respond. His eyes fixed on Nick's fingers on her hip. His expression was curiously unreadable.
"What do you want from me?" Jenny tried again.
A smile fell upon his lips, unexpectedly genuine rather than haughty. "I want you to come with me to my world. That's all I have ever wanted. You said yourself that I won't hurt you. I won't force you either, but I am hoping you will consider. Will you come with me?"
Jenny was horrified at the suggestion. "No! How could you even think…after everything you've done…" She broke off and shook her head, disgusted. Nick took her hand and she gripped it tightly, leaning into his side. Just touching him helped her feel calmer and stand straighter. She looked at Max defiantly.
He smiled. He didn't look particularly perturbed by her decline. "That leaves us at an impasse, I'm afraid. In that case…" Max extended his arm and a great gust of wind blew around him. His hair was blown loose from his ponytail. After a flick of his hand the wind shot towards her. Jenny braced herself but then gasped sharply when she realized the wind was not directed at her but at Nick. It surrounded him, wrapping firmly around his waist and legs. She tried to hang onto him, but he easily slid through her frail grasp. Before she was given a moment to react, Nick was pulled across the room into Max's waiting arms.
Jenny flashed back to Halloween Night when it had been her caught in the gust and Nick holding her back. Only Nick was so much stronger than she…
"It was you that night at the club," Jenny said, her voice hard and disbelieving. "And at the airport, and in my dreams…you're Lord Ahriman." Of course she had known the moment he pressed the knife to her throat, but to have it really sink in now made her feel as if she was falling into a dark pit with no way out.
"Yes, charmed," he said sounding bored as he brought the knife to Nick's throat. "And so I'll ask you again, my dear. Will you come with me? Think your answer over carefully, for although I have a particular fondness for you, I have no reservations about killing this one."
Jenny looked at the seriousness in Max's eyes, at the nasty smiles of his followers, at the shock on Nick's face as the knife pressed painfully into his skin. Feeling an uneasy twist in her stomach, she bowed her head. "Yes, I know."
"Don't. Don't listen to him," Nick managed to choke out. He shut his eyes with a painful groan as Max moved the knife slightly and a small trickle of blood dripped down his throat. The sight of the red droplets staining his white shirt was too much for Jenny to handle. One quick movement was all it would take for Nick to be removed from her life permanently. She had no doubts that Max would readily do it. He was only holding off now because he needed Nick alive to persuade her.
"I'll go with you," Jenny said. Her eyes were stinging again. She started to take a step forward, but was held back by Kelly's iron grip.
"Don't you dare," Kelly said fiercely. She lifted her other hand to take a better hold of Jenny, but the instant she touched her an electric shock forced her hands back. In the surprised few seconds that followed, Jenny was able to dart away from her.
Max nodded at her respectfully. "I knew you'd do the right thing," he said. He pushed Nick away from him, where he landed on the floor as Jenny had, holding the cut on his neck. Wordlessly, with a faint smile upon his lips, Max extended a hand towards Jenny.
"No!" Usagi screamed. She started to rush forward, but Max waved his other hand. A shimmering barrier sprung up between Jenny and the senshi. They pounded desperately on the barrier but it was no use; they might as well have tried to pass through a brick wall.
Jenny looked back at them apologetically before turning to Max. His hand was still extended towards her as he waited. Jenny took another step forward. Her movements were jerky as she walked, caught between shaking and numbness. She couldn't meet Max's eyes as she closed the distance between them. She tried to force herself not to think about what she was doing. If she thought about it, she might run screaming from the room, abandoning her friends and every bit of self-respect she had. She ignored the pleading from her friends. They didn't understand. If she went with him now, he would leave them alone. He would spare Nick.
"Don't," Nick said as he sat up. One hand was still pressed to the cut on his neck. His words had the opposite effect of what he'd hoped. Reminded of why she was doing it, Jenny took the last few steps in a trot. She took Max's hand. A light started flowing from their clasped hands, a light that surrounded them and blurred their features. Jenny felt the most curious feeling of drifting apart as she floated in the light. From what seemed like a distance she could hear Nick calling her, but it was insignificant as she was pulled forward into the brightness. A deep roaring filled her ears as the light faded and her eyes were filled with darkness. The last thing she heard before she lost consciousness was Usagi's screaming and Mamoru shouting, "Nick, no!"
Jenny didn't have time to analyze it. She shut her eyes and knew no more.
0 0 0
Nick never knew how and when he came to consciousness. His memory was hazy, a jumble of thoughts and emotions swirling around in his head in an incoherent pattern. With all the confusion, the sense of unreality that surrounded him, there seemed to be no transition between waking and dreams. It was quite some time before he realized he was awake and even longer before was able to open his eyes and look around. All he could see was the thick grey mist that surrounded him. Slowly, Nick sat up. As he moved, a piercing pain drove into the top of his head like an ice pick. He winced and dropped his head slightly to massage it with his fingers. With his eyes closed, he tried to recall what had happened to him. When he remembered, Nick lifted his head with a start.
Jenny. They had been at Max's New Year's Eve party, and Max had been unveiled as the threat that haunted her. He had taken her. Trapped behind the barrier, the senshi had been helpless to do anything but watch. Nick remembered the feel of the polished wood floor under his fingers as he pressed his other hand to the cut on his throat, watching Max and Jenny fade into the light. In the few seconds that followed, he hadn't thought, only reacted. Just as the light grew intensely white, Nick had leapt to his feet and dove into it. His fingers had grasped wildly before him until he had caught a handful of silky fabric, part of Jenny's dress. He didn't remember anything after that. Somehow he had lost consciousness…and woken up where he was.
Wherever that was. Nick slowly pulled himself to his feet. He held out his arms for balance. The floor seemed to be swaying beneath him, or maybe that was just the pain in his head. Nick took a few stumbling steps forward before a crippling wave of dizziness hit. He dropped painfully to his knees. His stomach lurched, and out came three hours worth of appetizers and alcohol. Shaking, Nick lifted a hand to wipe his mouth. He then brought the hand to his forehead and wiped away beads of perspiration. He had half a mind to curl up into a ball, close his eyes, and fervently wish that he could wake up from the nightmare.
Who was he kidding? He wasn't a hero like Mamoru and the others. Even if by some remote chance, he had been spirited away to the same place as Jenny, he had no powers. He had no way to protect himself or her. There was absolutely nothing he could do to fight off Lord Ahriman if it came to that. He was useless.
Usagi, he reasoned, would tell him to stay where he was and wait for help. Mamoru would warn him not to try anything stupid or get himself hurt. Possibly only Kelly would laugh and tell him to go right ahead and pitch himself into the mist and the unknown. He'd always had the feeling that she didn't like him much.
And Jenny? What would she say? No doubt she would warn him to stay where he was as well. And she was right. Nick shut his eyes and conjured up an image of her, of her soft blue eyes wide and pleading with him to save himself. She rarely wanted him around even when peace was between them and no evil lurked in the shadows; she wouldn't want him to play the hero now.
Suddenly, the image in his mind changed. Lord Ahriman stood behind Jenny with a possessive hand on her shoulder. He smirked, his black eyes cutting a path through the air into Nick. Jenny didn't appear to notice as she stared ahead innocently, but the man behind her cast a shadow that consumed them both, shutting out all the light around her. Together, they faded away into darkness.
Nick's eyes flew open. Maybe there was nothing to do and nowhere to go. Maybe he couldn't save her. But he had to try.
He stood, and this time the pain was easier to bear. Hands raised in front of him to warn him of any upcoming obstructions in his path, Nick walked into the mist. He walked, having no idea of where he was headed or of how much time was passing. He became so used to the deadening silence even of his footsteps that the sound of a faint sob in the mist startled him into stopping in his tracks. His heart pounded as he listened. There it was: a light female voice, wrought with fear. The sobs continued, and then, ever so lightly, someone called his name.
"Jenny!" Nick called. He stopped and listened. His voice reverberated in the mist. For a moment there was nothing, and then with another half-sob he was answered.
"Nick? Where are you? It's so dark here. Help me!"
"I'm coming," he said obediently. He took another step forward and then spun in a slow circle, listening.
"Keep talking so I know where to find you!"
"Hurry! Nick, I'm so scared."
"I'm here," he said. He didn't mention that he was as scared, if not more, as she. His heart was running a race inside his chest, going faster than it had during any sport he had ever played. The only reason he wasn't shaking uncontrollably was because after hearing her voice he had a purpose again. He had to find her.
"Where are you?" he asked, stopping again to listen.
"Here!" was the light reply. It had come from close behind him. Relieved, Nick spun around – only for his movements to abruptly halt. Leaning against a marble Grecian pillar that sprung out of the ground near his feet and disappeared into the mist was Lord Ahriman.
"Good evening," said the man pleasantly. He was no longer Maximilian Gordon; he was transformed into the dark lord of the past. With his long black cloak, dark ornate clothes and staff he looked like royalty. Nick stared at him, dumbfounded. Lord Ahriman only smiled. When the man opened his mouth again, the voice that came from it was unmistakably Jenny's.
"Thanks for finding me, Nick." And then her sweet laughter.
Nick took a step backwards in horror.
"Oh, do pardon me, dear boy. Just a little joke. Even I need a good laugh now and then."
Nick couldn't wait for any more jokes on his behalf. "Where is she?" he demanded, sounding a lot cooler and braver than he felt. His skin was crawling with chills.
Lord Ahriman lifted his perfectly-shaped dark eyebrows. "Safe, of course. Certainly you don't think that I would harm her?"
"I wouldn't know." There were icicles in Nick's voice.
"You know very little."
"I will find her."
Lord Ahriman, supremely unconcerned, shrugged. "Yes, and you're doing such a fine job of it now. Bravo. What, though, do you think will happen if you do find her? I suppose you think you're going to sweep her up on your white stallion and ride off into the sunset – after slaying the dragon, of course." He bowed slightly, and smirked as deep laughter formed in his throat.
"You, her dashing white prince of fairy tales. Pathetic, really."
Nick swallowed, unsure of what to retort. Truthfully, he agreed.
"You know that you are nothing now, just as you were nothing in the past," Lord Ahriman continued, enjoying Nick's painful silence. "Nothing. Not nobility, just a simple Earth peasant. Worse, you were an outlaw. You didn't deserve her then, and you don't deserve her now. You really think she's going to fall for you when she has so much better, so much more satisfying, on the horizon?"
Nick stood very still, looking into Lord Ahriman's glittering, golden eyes. After a moment, he sighed and bent his head. "I don't deserve her," he agreed fervently. "You're right about that. But neither do you. She deserves the best there is, someone who cares for her more than himself. Who would be willing to sacrifice it all just to see her smile. That could never be you."
Dark fury leapt into the dark lord's eyes. For a moment, Nick thought Lord Ahriman was going to hit him – or worse – but just as abruptly, the look melted into a smile. "How's your head?" he asked, seemingly concerned. "You feeling any nausea? Confusion? I know the trip can be a bit much, and I wasn't going to expend any energy protecting the hitchhiker when I had infinitely more precious cargo. You see? I do care about her. And being the nice guy that I am, I'm going to give you a little R&R time to recover."
As Lord Ahriman smiled, his eyes boring into Nick's, the mist melted away until they were standing in a large cage like a jail cell. The eerie mist still surrounded the cage, but the inside was surprisingly comfortable. There was a large bed with purple sheets and big fluffy pillows, a table and chair set with a feast worthy of Thanksgiving dinner for nine, and even a television with a remote. Lord Ahriman patted Nick on the shoulder as an older brother might and picked up a small white bottle from the table sitting beside the cranberry jelly.
"Aspirin," he said "Might help."
Nick looked up at the bottle and then back at Lord Ahriman. "Why should you give a damn about my head?"
"Oh, it's simple," Lord Ahriman said, and his smile grew wider. "I have a very important reason for caring for your head and all of your health. I would never kill you. That would be too easy. Not that the actual killing of you wouldn't be satisfying some deep need I've had for thousands of years, not to mention a damn lot of fun. Killing you would be too quick, too uncreative. Instead, I so badly want to see you suffer. And where's the fun in that unless you're healthy and kicking during it?"
Nick swallowed deeply, his mind flashing images of the Iron Maiden, the stocks, boiling vats of oil. He had nothing to say in response.
He received a little bow for the man. "So I'll say farewell for now, my loathed guest. I have much pleasanter company to partake in."
With a cruel smile, Lord Ahriman turned and disappeared, leaving Nick shaking and staring after him into the fuzzy void.
0 0 0
There was a chill all around as Jenny slowly drifted back to consciousness. She rolled over and frowned, burrowing deeper into the pleasing warmth of the soft blankets that covered her. Surely it wasn't time to get up yet. She felt so comfortable, so at peace. For once, Usagi was not snoring in her bed across the room. The greatest temptation was to slip back into the solitude of slumber, but something was tugging at the back of her mind that wouldn't ease. Jenny wrinkled her forehead as she thought. What was it? She had been at Max's party, and then…
Jenny opened her eyes with a snap. The sight she saw immediately assuaged her fears. Although not in Usagi's pink and bunny-decorated room, the high canopy bed, rich wine red sheets, and expensive abstract paintings in gold frames on the walls told her that she was in a bedroom at Max's mansion. And thank God for that. She'd had the most horrible nightmare that Max had been the one who'd been stalking her. Ridiculous, it seemed now. She must have fallen asleep while waiting for her friends to finish partying, and Max had brought her upstairs to sleep.
Entirely satisfied, Jenny lifted a hand to brush a bothersome clump of hair off her forehead. She was a little confused when something stopped her arm from moving several inches from her face. Blinking with sleepy puzzlement, Jenny sat up. Her eyes focused on the slim metal chain that encircled her right wrist and shackled her to the bedpost. Cold surprise infiltrated her blood.
Oh, God. Oh, God, no.
It was real; she hadn't been dreaming. Jenny allowed herself a moment of hyperventilation before a wave of anger overtook her misery. Not only was it real, the bastard had actually chained her like a prisoner. She couldn't believe it. She tried tugging defiantly on the chain with no success. Frustrated, Jenny looked down, and her eyes focused on the ankh necklace dangling around her throat, Max's birthday present to her. She felt the familiar prickling on her eyeballs. How could he have done this to her? Had their friendship meant nothing to him? Had it been a lie since the beginning?
Jenny reached under her hair with her free hand and fumbled with the clasp of the necklace. When she managed to unhook it, she pulled the charm away from her neck and hurled it across the room. She wanted nothing to do with it.
"That was expensive, you know. Not that it was my money, but you should still have respect for fine craftsmanship."
He was standing beside her suddenly. Jenny felt the cool whispering of a breeze on her bare arm before she saw him. She was pleased that she did not jump at his voice. She turned to meet Max's burning, golden eyes. No…not Max. She had to change her way of thinking about him. The man she thought she knew, whom she had loved, did not exist. This was Lord Ahriman, the demon who had haunted her since the first moment she stepped onto Japanese soil. If she hardened herself against him now, it could only get easier to despise him.
"I just pretended to like it before," she told him. "It was the ugliest thing I ever saw. Now I have no reason to lie."
Lord Ahriman smiled, lifting his perfectly-shaped mouth upwards in a way that made the air around him shimmer with golden light. Despite her determination to hate him, Jenny was drawn to the aesthetic of it. Ironic, really, how she had always drawn and painted him more ethereal and beautiful than he as Max Gordon had ever appeared, and now here he was, in full flesh and intensity, surpassing anything she could have imagined. He looked too perfect to be real…it probably wasn't real. She had a feeling he was playing up what nature had given him with his power in an attempt to draw her to him. Artistically, at least, she couldn't say that it wasn't working.
"There's my girl," he said. "I was a little worried before with how you were reacting in the ballroom, but I suppose all you needed was a little rest. Did you enjoy your sleep?"
On the surface his tone was playful, but Jenny caught the mockery underneath. She lifted her head proudly. "Yes, actually."
Lord Ahriman laughed, a sound which she had always enjoyed and looked forward to, but now the rich baritone sound gave her chills. "Liar," he said, seeming amused. "But brave. You aren't afraid of me, little one?"
"No," Jenny said. Initially, she thought her answer was just false bravado, but as she looked at him more closely, she realized the truth. She wasn't afraid of him. Maybe it was because they had been friends, at least on her end. Some small part of her still felt that she knew him more intimately than any other male she had ever known. Even now, after revealing what he truly was, her first instincts were to run to him and share her troubles. It was an unsettling thought.
"Good, because I want us to be friends. To prove that, I'd like you to ask me something. Anything. All I have to deliver is yours."
Jenny stared at him levelly for a few seconds. There was only one thing she wanted. "How about an explanation?"
Lord Ahriman smiled and sank to the bed beside her. "You are direct, but since you asked…I'm sure you've noticed that I'm not a human billionaire."
"I did gather that much. What do you want?"
He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I told you before that I would never hurt you. Do you believe that? We are and still can be friends."
Jenny laughed dryly. "You call this friendly?" She lifted her wrist, displaying the silver chain that still bound her to the bed.
"A simple precaution, but you're right. It is no longer necessary. I couldn't have you wandering around on your own when I wasn't there to protect you. Although I would never harm you, I cannot claim the same for any of my followers. I have given orders for them to leave you to me, but some of them are not the brightest of the Devil's creatures. They act on instinct, you understand, and a beautiful young girl stumbling into a mass of them might be too much for their control. Best stay in this room unless you're with me."
Lord Ahriman lifted his hand and sent a small bolt of black lightning at the chain. It cut through the metal, and the chain slipped away from her wrist to fall on the bedspread. Jenny rubbed her wrist and tested its movements by bending and twisting. Still working.
"Satisfied?" he asked, giving that eerie smile again.
"No." Jenny looked at him, wondering why she had never noticed the cruelness in that smile. It was blazing clear now, but before she had only seen the kindness of a benefactor. If only she'd had the intuition Nick possessed, maybe she wouldn't be in this mess!
"Still waiting on that explanation," she said.
"It's not so much about what I want, but what you are."
Jenny blinked. "Okay."
"Caught between the Light and the Dark," he continued, seeing her confusion. "I don't know how much those interfering warriors of the Light have explained to you, but you are vital to the final battle that is coming. You don't belong to them."
"I don't belong to you either."
"True, true…" Lord Ahriman turned his back and even though she couldn't see his face, she knew what he felt. One thing about his performance as Maximilian Gordon hadn't been false.
"I have never lied to you," he said quietly. "I do need you with me. You asked me why I bothered befriending you…well, I hadn't planned on it, to be honest. That day in the park I was going to take you, but I wanted to meet you first as a human. Something about you then, the passion you put into your drawings, your sweet innocence, reminded me of what I had loved about you so many years ago. So I decided to prolong the game. I would gain your trust and make you like me, so maybe when the time came to choose you would take my side. The longer it went on, the more I enjoyed having you with me. I had forgotten what it was like to see you every day, to be able to feel you. The more time I spent with you the less inclined I became to end it. A large part of me would have thrown away everything just to be able to spend a couple nights a week by your side."
Jenny was unaware that she had unconsciously taken his hand until he gently squeezed hers. Lord Ahriman turned back to her, and she was surprised to see that his eyes were shiny. "Don't you see, Jenny?" he asked anxiously. "We are supposed to be together. Nothing gets at me the way you do. I was able to fool myself about you for a long time, telling myself that it was nothing but fond memories of the past and my need for you to help me with my plans. But every day I spent with you it became clearer. I needed you. Never have any two people fit each other better than we. I knew I had to make you love me or nothing else mattered."
Until his last statement, Jenny been dangerously close to feeling sorry for him, but when she heard his words of conviction, she released his hand and leaned away from him. She shook her head. "You don't get it at all. Love is about giving more than anything. You can't take it and force people to love you back."
"Is that so? What do you know about love?"
Jenny opened her mouth, ready for a clever retort, but after a moment she shut it again. "Just please start over again, this time without the romance novel."
Surprisingly, he obeyed. Lord Ahriman told her the tale of how he came to be in the twenty-first century, and how only last spring he had been imprisoned in a mirror again by the "blasted warriors of the Light." He told her how his servant Sera had heard his cries in her dreams, and how she brought him back at the airport. He told her how he had assumed the identity of the youngest Gordon son, and how Sera had used her black magic to fool everyone who knew the family into thinking he was the legitimate Max. He didn't mention what he had done to take the real Gordons out of his way, but Jenny, with a sick feeling in her stomach, could guess.
"I had everything planned," he said. "Every last detail. Once I knew I had your complete trust, I was going to reveal myself to you, genuinely as I am. No lies, no surprise. Just me and what I'm offering. I had it all worked out. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way."
"No, I'm betting not. You've gained nothing but my hatred."
"Your hatred? Truly?" He sighed. "I don't know what I can do to make you understand. You think it's coincidence that you're here? That you learned Japanese and got accepted into the Tsukino household? Your whole life has been leading up to this moment. Live it."
Jenny, refusing to listen, turned her head.
Lord Ahriman smiled confidently. "You were brought here to me. Each of us has great power; power that would multiply if we used it together. Power enough to control galaxies. Power enough to control the entire universe if we wished it. You would like to rule the universe, Jenny?"
Jenny's heart was thumping, but she shook her head. "No. For once you have everything, what else is left to achieve? Life would have no meaning."
Lord Ahriman did not seem happy about where their conversation was headed. "You'll come to your senses. In the end, we will be together. What other option do you have? A life of mediocrity? With him? That scrawny boy means nothing. He does not have the kind of power you and I possess."
"But I love him," Jenny said, the word slipping out without her thinking about it. For the first time, she felt the heavy reality of the statement – like it or not, she did love Nick. They were bound together.
"I love you," Ahriman told her in a low voice, a voice that chilled her.
Jenny hesitated, but when she started speaking it was with great conviction. "No, you don't. You can't. It's just power lust you feel. Lust for what I can give you. You don't know how to love anyone."
For a long moment, Lord Ahriman did not speak. Finally, he inclined his head politely and said, "If that's what you wish to believe. For now, please make yourself at home. Sera will be bringing you breakfast within the hour. The wardrobe to your left should be stocked to your satisfaction. Bathroom is the door at the far end of the room. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must attend to my other guest."
"Other guest?" Jenny asked distractedly. She looked suspiciously at the wardrobe, not trusting what he may have chosen as appropriate attire for her.
Lord Ahriman feigned surprise. "Oh, didn't I tell you about our stowaway? Silly me. What with you being here and all my kind attentions focused on you, it slipped my mind. But don't you worry your pretty head about it. I am making sure Nick has the best care, a real…personal touch of hospitality."
Jenny's lips had barely parted to mouth his name when Lord Ahriman swept out of the room. As he shut the door behind him, her heart and anxieties were already working overtime.
0 0 0
At that moment, Nick was pacing in his cage. Every few minutes he stopped and angrily shook a couple bars, not daring to hope that he would find a way out but trying anyway. Somewhere, beyond the mist, Jenny was receiving the personal attentions of Lord Ahriman. Thinking about what that might involve made his stomach lurch with nausea. It was one reason he had yet to touch the pile of food Lord Ahriman had left him; he didn't think he could keep any of it down, even assuming it hadn't been poisoned.
After his final shake, Nick collapsed back against the bed, one arm flung across his face. His entire body felt tense and alert with frustration and fear. He was not used to feeling so helpless. He did not like it. What he would give to possess even an ounce of the power that Mamoru or any of the senshi had…anything to help him not feel so useless, so completely human and vulnerable. As it was, he had nothing to do but sit and wait.
"Nick?" A cautious female voice came through the mist. Nick sat up, his heart racing. He felt a rush quite like that a certain substance, which he had tried as a senior and vowed never to try again, had given him, but this was infinitely more pleasant and hopeful. The crash was just intense as the girl stepped into view. It was Sera, not Jenny.
"Still my name," Nick said wearily. He leaned back against the bed and replaced his arm across his face.
There was a long pause. When Nick opened his eyes again, Sera was directly outside his cage, gripping the bars with both hands. The look on her face was more hesitant than he would have expected.
"How are you?" she said finally.
"Peachy. Can't you tell? This is every boy's dream, to be locked in a cage like a beast while the man he hates makes a play for his girl. Oh, I'm doing just fine."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sure. You here doing his dirty work?"
"I'm here to say I'm sorry. I never thought it'd end up like this. You've always been so nice to me…" She trailed off, lowering her eyes to the ground. Nick was stunned to see that Sera was close to tears. He sat up, looking at her thoughtfully.
"Is that right? You tell Jenny that, too?"
Sera didn't speak. Her muscles were completely still. She didn't quite look him in the eyes. "I've never questioned my master's judgment before," she said slowly. "Not until he took you."
"I think 'took' is a bit generous. He didn't have much choice. I'm here because I'm an idiot."
"But he didn't have to keep you here. He could let you go," Sera said. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the steel bars.
Nick snorted. "Yeah, because Mercy is his middle name."
Sera took in a shivering breath, halfway between a gasp and a sob. One moment she was standing outside the cage gripping the bars…the next she was standing beside him. Nick jumped to his feet out of surprise. He instinctively took a few steps backwards, but Sera looked far from threatening. Her expression was that of a hurt puppy.
"What are you doing?" Nick demanded.
"I'm going to get you out of here," Sera said. She reached out to take hold of his arm, but Nick sidestepped her.
"Why the hell would you do that?"
Sera looked miserable. Something was twitching in her cheeks. Nick could see the conflict going on inside her. "Because I know what he's going to do to you. What he's capable of doing. It's different with Jenny. I know he never would hurt her. But you…I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you that I could prevent."
Nick stared at her. He had never felt particularly close to Sera. They were always polite, smiling and greeting each other whenever they came into contact at the Gordon mansion. Occasionally, he had even flirted with her, but only when he was sure Jenny was watching. Nothing had happened in his memory that could explain her tear-filled eyes directed at him pleadingly. At least on his side…
"I like you," Sera said. Her eyes lifted to meet his, and for a moment Nick was struck with the intense cerulean blue color she had, so unlike Jenny's soft pastel blue. Her swimming tears made her eyes look like an acid ocean. Nick felt himself still as he looked at her. Sera took a step closer, and this time Nick didn't retreat. He could feel her pain, her fear over betraying Lord Ahriman. But she did not back away. She was so close he was able to breathe in her scent, something floral and spicy. Intoxicating.
It was all Nick could do not to reach out and comfort her. Her hand was on his chest. Nick could feel the heat from her fingers through his shirt, making his heart race.
"I'm going to save you," Sera whispered.
Nick barely heard her. All he could hear was the dull roaring in his ears; all he could see was Sera's luminous eyes coming closer. Her scent floated around him like a cloud. He felt dizzy, strange, as if the line between dreams and reality had shifted. There was a powerful longing in his body to hold her, to touch her. She was so close he could feel the physical heat from her skin. He couldn't hold out any longer. His arms reached out, ready to pull her to him roughly, his lips burning to meet hers. As he did, he caught another whiff of her perfume, and something flashed in his memory. Instead of touching her, Nick stepped back as if he had been scorched. He backed away, breathing heavily. Cool air washed over him. He stared at Sera accusingly.
"What?" Sera asked. Fresh tears came into her eyes. She looked like a trembling flower petal. It was quite a show.
Nick laughed, shaking his head. He sat back on the bed. "Oh, you're good."
She was still blinking at him, looking hurt. "I don't under–"
"Come on, Sera. Is this the best he's got? Did he think he could make me forget her? Even with all that Voodoo shit you do? Yeah, I'm the one who found your secret room, remember? I recognize the scent. You're trying to work some mojo on me."
For a moment Sera only stood frozen. But then something cracked in her expression and she laughed. "Well, we had to try. It would make my master's job much easier if Jenny thought you didn't care about her."
Nick breathed in deeply, free from the scent that had filled him and made him momentarily lose his mind. Even though he was aware of it now, he was careful not to get within several feet of her. "You're okay letting him use you like this?" he asked.
"My body is my lord's to do with as he pleases," Sera said serenely. Something about the way she said it made Nick's insides tighten. He understood what she was really saying, and it sickened him.
"Besides," Sera continued, "maybe I'm not doing this only for him. Maybe I'm just looking for a way to liven up a dull afternoon. He doesn't need any of my help when it comes to her."
"What do you mean?"
Sera smirked and shook her head. Something in her expression was pitying. "You poor, pathetic boy. You really have no idea, do you?"
Part of Nick's mind was begging him to keep his mouth shut, but of course he couldn't do that. Feeling like the straight man for a punch line, Nick said, "Of what?"
Smiling, Sera walked over to his television set. She picked up the remote and pressed a button to turn on the TV. The screen filled with the image of Jenny with red hair sitting under a tree. She was drawing and chewing her lip with concentration, unaware that someone was behind her, watching her shrewdly. The look in Lord Ahriman's eyes, of calculation and longing, made Nick clench his fists. Jenny didn't seem to be aware of the danger. When "Max Gordon" finally settled himself against the other side of the tree and began speaking to her, Jenny's expression looked eager as he started examining her drawings.
The scene fast forwarded to when Max had saved Jenny from Snake-Eye – a creature, Nick now realized with anger, that the man had sent after her himself. At the end, Max cleverly ended up on top of her in the grass. Jenny's expression as she looked up at him was filled with wonder and gratitude. Her pupils were dilated, and her chest rose and fell with quick little breaths. Another figure moved into the screen and Nick saw himself, the shock and hurt on his face. He remembered how he had felt, finding her like that with a strange man. The feeling was incomparable to anything. He had sensed right away that something was amiss with her new friend, and the feeling only intensified when he found out in subsequent meetings how much Jenny liked him.
"Since the moment they met, Jenny has felt the connection between them," Sera said, providing unnecessary narration. Nick rolled his eyes. The movie continued with scenes of Max and Jenny at the mansion laughing together, drinking together, sitting very close. Always, Jenny looked at him with admiration. It was nothing new. Nick had noticed it himself all along, and it had managed to fill him with pain every time.
"I know all this," Nick said. "So what?" At one time, the movie would have had the power to make him feel true envy, but now it barely ruffled him. He had known since he danced with Jenny at the New Year's party that he wasn't alone in his feelings. It was enough to hope.
As if reading his mind, Sera said, "You think because you shared one little kiss at midnight that she's your girlfriend now? There's a difference between one moment of fun and many months of friendship turning into love." On the screen was Jenny looking like a true angel on Halloween night outside the Starfire club while Lord Ahriman in a cloak towered over her. The look in her eyes was fascination mixed with fear. The former was winning out as she voluntarily stepped toward him.
Nick looked away. "Yeah, she cared about him. I get that. But somehow I think this abduction thing might make her think twice about it. She's not…"
Something about the way Sera's eyes glittered made Nick pause. "Do you remember the night of her birthday? While you were standing outside the gates like a hero, something vastly more interesting was going on inside."
Slightly perturbed, Nick looked back at the screen. Jenny was standing in one of the bedrooms at the mansion in a long, silky pink nightgown. She was fingering the ankh necklace Lord Ahriman had given her for her birthday, looking down at it in her hands. The door opened behind her and Lord Ahriman entered. Jenny heard him but she did not turn. She lifted her head and spoke to him. Lord Ahriman came closer. Still not turning around, Jenny lifted up the necklace. Carefully, he took it from her and fastened it around her neck. Eyes burning a bright gold, he then bent his head and kissed the pale skin on the side of her throat.
Nick sat up sharply, his heart pounding. He gripped the sheets beneath him. Surely any moment Jenny was going to swing around and slap him. But it didn't happen. Rather than look shocked, Jenny smiled and shut her eyes, leaning back against him. A moment passed before she turned and flung her small arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. At first soft and sweet, their movements quickly became more frenzied. Soon, the two fell together onto the bed. Jenny's head rolled back and she shut her eyes with ecstasy as Lord Ahriman's lips continued down her throat and lower, easing her nightgown off her shoulders.
No, Nick thought, turning away abruptly. His cheeks burned. Aloud, he said, "Turn it off!"
Sera lifted her eyebrows, but did nothing. When Nick looked back at the screen, it had mercifully moved on. Now Nick was bombarded with images of Jenny and Lord Ahriman dancing together, laughing, clinking champagne glasses…doing everything that lovers should. The things he saw in her expression now resonated clearer than ever before. Then, Nick had only seen naïve admiration for an undeserving older man. Now, the little touches, caresses, and lingering looks that had seemed so harmless before took on a deeper meaning. She looked like a girl in love.
And who was he? Simple old Nicholas Kestrel, fully human, fully without special powers or talent, just a boy from San Mantego whom Jenny had been quite verbal about hating for years. Who was he compared to someone who could give her everything?
"You are nothing, you see," Sera said plainly.
I am nothing, Nick thought in despair.
The screen showed Jenny laughing, her eyes fixed on Lord Ahriman with adoration.
0 0 0
Jenny was pacing in her bedroom. She played incessantly with her hands. She passed by the table set up with food for the twenty-second time, but as before she didn't give it more than a passing glance. She couldn't eat now, not without knowing how Nick was doing and if he was receiving similar accommodations. The thought of what he might be suffering under an unforgiving Lord Ahriman made her insides wrench with anxiety. She wished she had kept her mouth shut earlier instead of blurting out that she loved Nick. Surely, it didn't help to add any fuel to Lord Ahriman's fire. He already hated Nick enough.
Jenny had no concept of how much time had passed since the party. It could be day or night, New Years Day or the next. She shivered slightly and wrapped her arms around herself, more for comfort than protection against a chill. She had changed into jeans and a sweatshirt from the wardrobe Lord Ahriman had provided. She couldn't help feeling grudgingly grateful for his attention to detail. Surely he knew how much she would hate being in a skimpy dress indefinitely. He knew her that well.
Thinking about him made Jenny nervous. He had seemed confident that he would persuade her to join him, but how? Jenny shut her eyes with a little moan. She wished Nick hadn't been stupid enough to get himself caught. By herself, she knew she could hold Lord Ahriman off, but she feared the things she might agree to do if Nick was threatened. Stupid, stupid boy.
Jenny looked at the door warily, as she had looked at it every few minutes since Lord Ahriman had disappeared. Every time before she had wrenched her eyes away, taking Lord Ahriman's warnings to heart, but this time her eyes lowered thoughtfully to the doorknob. Maybe he had only been trying to scare her by talking of the dangers of leaving the room. If it was really dangerous, if he really cared about keeping her in the room, he would have locked the door.
He hadn't. The knob turned easily under Jenny's testing fingers. She let the knob slide back into place and took a step back, her heart pounding unsteadily. The thought of stepping out into the unknown made her feel lightheaded. Jenny took a few calming breaths before looking again at the handle. This time when she placed her hand on it, she pulled the door open and cautiously poked her head outside.
There was nothing but a long dark hallway, dimly lit by torches evenly spaced on the walls. Jenny stepped out and shut the door behind her quietly. After looking carefully in each direction, she decided to go right. She didn't know exactly what she was doing, whether looking for Nick or a way out herself. She just knew that she couldn't stay in the room any longer, pacing and waiting for Lord Ahriman to return.
Jenny walked, listening carefully. She tried to make her footsteps as quiet as possible. The stone walls made her feel like she was in a passage in a cave. She expected to hear dripping water or the flapping of bat wings, but besides her own breathing and footsteps the hallway was quiet.
She saw a light pouring out into the hallway about forty feet ahead, an open doorway. Jenny paused and pressed a hand against the cold stone wall before continuing on. As she got closer, she heard the combination of eerie voices and raucous laughter. Lord Ahriman's creatures. The pounding of her heart, shaking her chest, was nearly debilitating. Surely they could hear it. Jenny stopped again five feet from the doorway, afraid to pass before it. As Lord Ahriman had told her, she knew that if they found her alone they would be quite willing to tear her to pieces.
But, Jenny realized as she willed her heart to calm, the moment she screamed Lord Ahriman would come to her. He would find her somehow and save her. He wouldn't let them touch her. With this certainty in mind, Jenny cautiously crept up to the doorway. She risked a glance inside and saw long wooden tables set up like in a mess hall. Some of the creatures were eating, quite disgustingly tearing apart pieces of meat with their teeth and hands. Others were lounging around the room in groups talking together and guffawing. Social hour in the monster den.
Taking a deep breath, Jenny leapt across the doorway to the other side. She paused once she was out of sight, listening hard, but there was no pause in the laughter or conversation. Shutting her eyes briefly with relief, Jenny continued on. Further down, Jenny came across a shut door with a sliver of golden light spilling out from the bottom. Somehow she knew that Lord Ahriman was inside. Jenny paused before the doorway and pressed a hand against it, listening. She heard his low murmur and then a giggle. Jenny blinked in surprise. She recognized Sera's laughter.
At least he was preoccupied. Jenny kept walking.
The next interesting thing she came across was an open doorway with grey mist drifting out of it, as if from a stage fog machine. After glancing down the hallway and seeing nothing but the endless row of burning torches, Jenny took a deep breath and plunged into the mist. The instant she stepped inside she couldn't see anything but endless swirling white and grey. Jenny swung around but the mist had closed around her, obscuring the doorway. She took a deep breath and decided to keep walking. Minutes passed before the mist tickled her nose and she sneezed.
"Come back for more, have you?" asked a male voice from ahead, bitterly.
Jenny recognized his voice as if it was her own. Heart leaping with joy and relief, she cried, "Nick!"
She was only answered by silence. Undeterred, Jenny pushed on, her arms held in front of her. Slowly the mist began to clear and Jenny was confronted with a cage like something that would be found at a zoo. Inside was Nick. Jenny took the last few steps at a run until she was gripping the bars of the cage, looking inside eagerly. The excitement seemed to be hers alone. Nick was lying on a bed, his head turned away from her. He didn't move.
"Nick, it's me," Jenny said, in case he hadn't recognized her before.
His head tilted her way at her voice, but only slightly. He still didn't look at her. Jenny's hands tightened around the bars anxiously, speculating on all the horrible things Lord Ahriman could have done to him in her absence. Why wasn't he looking at her? Was he hurt? He looked like a deflated balloon – as much as a person could like a balloon. He lay on the bed, still but breathing.
"Nick, why won't you look at me? What did he do to you?" Jenny demanded. Finally, she got some reaction. Nick turned his head. His eyes widened in surprise and he slowly sat up.
"Jenny. Is it really you?"
"Who else, idiot?" Jenny asked. The burst of happiness at seeing him alive and reasonably well was so much that she felt like she was filled with little bubbles. She might float away at any moment. She laughed, feeling high.
Nick shrugged and turned his head. "I thought…I don't know what I thought."
Jenny tilted her head and looked at him closely. It hurt her to see him acting so, without confidence, without strength. The more she looked at him the more she felt deflated herself. Obviously something had happened to him. Jenny sank to the ground to lean against the bars. Seeing her, Nick stood and came over to sit opposite her. His hand reached through the bars, and Jenny took it tightly.
"Why?" she demanded. "Why did you come here? This is all your fault, you moron! If you had stayed…" She trailed off, shaking her head. She held his hand so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
Nick smiled. A sad, tired smile dulled as dead leaves in winter. "Don't you know that I'd follow you to the ends of the earth if I could?" He paused and looked around with a wince. "Farther, too."
Jenny smiled then. "Except when you moved to the other end of the earth to get away from me," she reminded him.
Nick shrugged lightly. "Only because I thought it was best at the time. If you had given me a reason to stay, I would have. A lot of things have changed since then."
"Yes, they have." Jenny reached through the bars with her other hand and placed it on top of his holding her own. Nick's smile faded immediately. She was surprised when he gently detached his hand from hers and pulled away.
"Get out of here, Jenny," he said dejectedly. "Find a way to escape from him and go. Don't sit around waiting for me."
"No," she said simply. Nick sighed and nodded.
"You'd rather stay here? With him? I expected as much."
"What are you talking about?" Jenny asked. She frowned.
"Our friend, Max Gordon," Nick said, sarcasm finally entering his voice, making him seem more like his old self than the pale, spineless boy he had been the last few minutes. "Your lover."
"My…" Jenny broke off, mouth agape. She simply had no words.
"Yes, your lover," Nick repeated, his voice hard and cold. Bitterness spilled from him.
Jenny's lips twitched as if to smile but it didn't quite work. "What are you talking about? You know that's not how it is."
"Isn't it? I've seen the way you look at him. I know what you did. I saw it."
Well, that made one of them. Confused, Jenny shook her head. "I can't believe you're still jealous of him. After all this."
"Jealous? Not so much, sweetheart. If you want to take that…that thing, it's your business. Go ahead, love him, sleep with him. What should I care?"
Jenny stood up angrily and rather unsteadily. She glared at him. "I can't believe you have the nerve to accuse me like this. You think I would do that?"
"Not think. I know," Nick said. He wasn't looking at her again. He slumped against the bars as if he had no bones.
Jenny was so angry she was trembling. She took a step away from him. "I came here because I was worried about you. I risked being torn to pieces, and now you sit here like some pathetic Othello. You know what? I hope he does do something awful to you! Because I don't care anymore."
Before he had a chance to respond, Jenny turned. She ran through the mist, her face frozen in anger, her body trembling with emotion. Along the way she started to cry. It wasn't fair for him to do this to her. For years they had missed each other for all the wrong reasons – anger, intolerance, stubborn refusal to accept what was there. It wasn't fair of him when there was every reason in the world for them to come together now to ruin it with his jealousy. How could he really believe she would do that with Lord Ahriman, or Max Gordon for that matter? True, she had sometimes fantasized about Max, but harmlessly, involving more picnicking and kissing under the stars than full-on pornography. If Nick had so little faith in her judgment, maybe it was wrong to think that they belonged together, to still want him.
Jenny was so distraught that she didn't notice the dark figure ahead of her in the mist until she ran straight into the arms of Lord Ahriman. Surprised, she tried to jump back, but he kept a strong grip on her elbows.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?" he asked smoothly.
Jenny looked up and saw him smile, wide and satisfied like a panther pleased at finally catching its prey.