Hey! If anyone has any suggestions for ficlets, just review and suggest! I can work with any theme like "Roy spills coffee" or "Ed can't find his ", so just send them in and I'll see what I can do! I can't guarantee they'll be top notch, but I'll do my best.

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Name:

Pairings: RoyEd

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Roy opened his eyes slowly, taking in the view of his ceiling very slowly. He looked around his bedroom, searching for something. He slowly wandered the rest of the little house, before circling back to the kitchen. Hunh. Edward must have already gone out.

Roy noticed a note stuck to the refrigerator.

"Roy,

I've gone to the library, just thought of something to check on the stone. If you need me, you know where I am."

Roy yawned disappointedly and opened the fridge door to check for edibles. Some moldy cheese, 3 moldy bagels, something that might have been either an avocado or a plum, Roy couldn't tell. Then there were two tubs of putrid mystery leftovers. Roy sighed and checked the cupboard. Score! Cheerios. Roy went back to the fridge, thinking he'd definitely seen a milk carton in there. He opened it and peered in. One great, yellow solid mass stared back at him. "Ugh." Roy sighed, putting the cheerios away. "Wait a minute..." Roy thought for a moment. That yellow stuff...was technically...cheese, wasn't it? Maybe it was okay to eat. Maybe he'd just discovered a great new way to make a great new kind of cheese, despite the funky smell it had saturated the kitchen with. Roy brought it back out, opened it and sniffed it curiously.

Nope, nope. There was no way in hell he was putting something that funky in his mouth. Oh well. Roy decided he'd just have to take Ed out to breakfast then. He went upstairs to get dressed.

Roy thought it was odd that the pair of blue pants he'd hung up last night weren't in the closet anymore, but he shrugged and pulled out an extra pair from the dresser. His white shirt was gone too though. Frowning slightly, he pulled on a black T-shirt. As he brushed his teeth though, he decided he couldn't go to work later, or be seen in public for that matter, looking like a punk. But ALL his button-downs were gone. He groaned and pulled on a fire-station red knit sweater. Edward had to be behind this, he thought, stomping downstairs. His boots were missing too, dammit. But in their place, was a pair of punkish black boots with straps all over them. He was going to KILL Ed.

Edward heard someone stomping very loudly into the library and knew he'd better disappear.

He was doing fine, getting closer and closer to the door as he silently slipped through the aisles of books, until he got a good look at Roy from the back. He snorted loudly, trying to suppress laughter at Roy's bright red turtleneck knit and awkward gait as he lurched around in Ed's boots. He swiveled around, eyes locking onto Edward in a way that did not bode well for the latter. Ed dashed out the door, down the main hall, out onto the street and started heading toward the park with Roy on his heels.

Crap! Roy's faster than I thought he'd be!

Ed shot up a tree then jumped down when flames singed the white button-down he'd taken, landing in a crouch. Slipping sideways behind the tree as flames shot past his hip. Panting, he looked down at a young girl who asked him "Are you playing tag?"

Her little brown pigtails whirled around her head as she jumped up and down in excitement. "Sort of. But it's dangerous!" Ed grabbed her and dashed around the tree away from the flames. "WOW!" she squealed. "Will you be my big brother?" she asked randomly as Ed picked her up again and ran to another big oak tree. "Don't you already have one, kid?" Replied a very distracted Ed. "No! I'm all alone and my name's Nina!"

"That's a nice name, but you're going to have to go hide now, kay? We'll play hide and seek now, kay?"

"Yayy! Come and find me quick big brother!" She squealed, diving into a bush. Roy shot from the other side of the tree, about to snap his fingers when his (Ed's ) boots lost traction in the slippery grass. Ed watched him just long enough to see him go down in a big pile of dog poo. Ed high-tailed it toward the other end of the park, speeding up when Roy started screaming for him to "Get back here RIGHT NOW!" Ed hid behind another tree, panting. Roy's boots were falling off his feet and he was having to work harder as a result. Flames shot past the tree again, but Ed wasn't ready to move. Roy would have to get closer to damage-Bzzzz! Ed looked up in shock at the burning beehive he'd missed before. "Ahhhh!" Ed flew out into the open, trailed closely by a cloud of violent bees. Roy was coming at him from an angle to intercept a getaway, fingers pushed against each other, ready to snap. Ed dove and rolled under a picnic table, only to realize he was trapped. The bees were now under the table with him and Roy was snapping his fingers on both hands.

FOOM!

The explosion shook Ed's body to the core, not to mention scared the crap out of him. It did saute most of the bees though. Ed scrambled to another tree, but Roy was done messing around.

FOOM! FOOM!

The tree lit up in a display of flames and destruction only a true pyromaniac could not be terrified of. Ed started to panic. During his mad dash to the next tree he screamed. "It was just a joke! Chill out!" Roy proceeded to send two walls of flames around Edward, cutting him off from any trees or picnic tables still standing. Ed transmuted a barrier and Roy send a tidal wave of fire over it.

"ROOOOOOOY! DON'T KILL ME!" Ed screamed. He was trapped.

It was around that time that at the other end of the park, a friendly young military officer found Nina. She was calling Ed's name, looking out of her bush.

"Excuse me, little miss. Do you know this boy?" he asked, holding out a picture of Ed that was clipped to his military profile. "Uh-huh. He's my big brother and he's supposed to be playing hide and seek with me." She told the man solemnly. "Ahh...I see." he said.

"Big brother is playing tag with the Red Fire-Man." she told him.

The man nodded and thanked her, then turned to shout at the other officers making their way slowly and reluctantly toward the flames. "Identities confirmed! Call Lieutenant Hawkeye!"

"Right away sir!"

"I DARE you to come out." Roy grinned maniacally. Edward had transmuted a little cave and was hiding in it. Roy couldn't get to the opening because he'd set everything around it on fire.

"Colonel! Halt!" Riza snapped. Roy jumped. "Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Sir! You're already in enough trouble without frying-Edward-until-he-closely-resembles-a-deep-fried-Twinkie!" Riza snapped again.

Roy sighed. "Alright then. I suppose I did get carried away...Good luck rescuing Edward." he told another officer in a flame proof suit edging toward Ed's cave.

Later that night, Roy and Ed walked in the door. Both looked worn out, but all it took was for Ed to say, for the hundredth time since they'd left the park, that Roy was a master of the overreaction.

"Do you KNOW how embarrassing it was having to speak to my superiors dressed like this?"

"Give a rest, Master."

"That's it! Time for you to be embarrassed!" Ed grinned.

"Just try it."

The next morning, all personnel in East Headquarters walked halls lined with posters picturing Ed in a bubble bath. Bright red and yelling at the camera, a rubber duckie sitting on his head, Ed could not have been more embarrassed.

Roy knew the truth of this statement when, instead of blowing up at him, Ed came into his office that morning and sheepishly told him he was going home. Roy grinned.

"Going to take a bath?" Ed's eyes grew huge with horror.

"Never again." his said in a pitifully soft voice.

"How could you? I thought you burned those." Ed was so upset it freaked Mustang out. Still when Ed left for home, Roy stood and stretched.

"Flame 2, FullMetal 0."

He laughed maniacally.