Carefully, Luke got to his feet.

"Ouch. Atlas, may I borrow some ibuprofen?" He asked, rubbing his neck. Atlas scowled at him.

"NO! IT'S MINE! ALL MINE!" He roared. He spun to the mortal. "NEXT!"

"Um." The mortal began, but Luke cut him off.

"You! Get me some more 'slavery toast'!" The other mortal hustled out.

"Slavery Toast?" Atlas said curiously.

"I don't like the French." Luke said, voice brittle. "They irritate me." He popped the top of his new sprite and raised his eyebrows at the Mortal.

"LUKE SUCKS!Atlas youre kinda cool but you killed your daughter and she was much cooler then you...KRONOS IS A *ing *
ALL OF YOU SHOULD GO AND CRY OVER YOUR SUCKINESS IN TATARUS!" He read, voice trembling.

"-INVALID WORD-!!!" Luke shrieked, stalking across the room to see the horror before his own eyes. Yes, there it was. Eleven point Verdana type. "Suckiness? Shouldn't it be 'suckyness'?"

"-INVALID WORD- it!" Atlas said angrily. "I is correct you nitwit. Not Y. Where has your education gone?"

Luke stomped his black Nikes angrily. The sound was lost in the thick carpeting. "I was on the run for years. Honestly. Who needs grammar? NEXT!"

"Uh...Yah...I got bored so i decided to put up with you losers woops your * you fat motha *.Also, I have a wierd question for Atlas, The Fat did you make your children, when you have a huge...how do I express this...I got it!How did your el grande peewee fit into the woman's...uh...I know!How did your el grande peewee fit into the peanut hole?Or was the woman you did it with have a huge peanut hole too?And dont u dare correct my way of writing you...you...Super Ultra Mega Emo Gothic Peices of Stuff Mummy thing!HA WHAT YOU GONNA DO YOU FAT PEICE OF * SUCK MY *Z YOU *.Kz Im ever after me piss off this stinkin ugly thing. ^^" The mortal blurted, cowering. Slowly, Atlas turned.

"Was this the same imbecile that called me fat?" He demanded.

"Um. They were anonymous reviews, Your Mightyness second-in-command. I really couldn't sa-"

"MORE IBUPROFIN!" Atlast roared.

"AND ASPRIN!" Luke's attempted scream sounded like a mouse squeaking.

There was a boom, and a chair exploded.

"I. Am. Not. A. Fat. Map." Atlas growled, exploding furniture with every syllable. "It. Is. None. Of. Your. Buis. Ness. How. I. Re. Pro. Duce. You. Have. Lame. Sy. Non. Ems. Go. To. Tar. Tar. Us. And. Kiss. My. In. Valid. Word."

"Lord Atlas!" Luke interjected, shocked.

"CALL ME 'YOUR HIGH AND MIGHTY GENERAL WHO IS BETTER THAN ME!" Alas cut in. Luke bowed.

"Yes, your high and mighty general who is better than me."

"Next." He said, calmly taking a sip from his Sprite.

"Well… A bored demigod says… LOL! This is so funny! Suffer Atlas! Suffer Luke! But you know what I dont get. Atlas Y didnt you just balance the sky on the very tip of the mountain and walk away. Then you would be free, and most of the world would be safe and uncrushed. Ur so stupid! You had how many years 2 think of that?! Haha! And no im not goining u if u had not guessed. Actually do u know how I can get in touch with the hunters of Artimis? They rock! And you were trapped under one! Yes I have ibeprofin (I can not spell that.) but im not giving it to you!
From, a bored demigod!
p.s. 7up is so GOOD!"

"I am not even going to comment." Atlas said with dignity, ducking as Luke flung his sprite at the ceiling lamp. One of the dangles shattered, splattering sprite and glass all over the floor.

"CLEAN THAT UP!" Luke screamed at the door. Someone immediately bustled in with a mop. "Next. But read a good one this time."

"Ah. Yes. A good one." The mortal scrolled through several messages. It took an agonizingly long time, and Luke scowled, imagining all the bad messages in there. "Here is one!" he said finally. "Well. I wanted to put Melinda Omnis, Traitor-in-Training, but sadly, I could not. Not enough space.

First of all, I would like to say that I will join your cause. The gods (or Western Civilization, however you'd like to take it) are completely ignorant, as are my fellow writers. As Lorelei's Light has said, I apologize for them. Since, of course, they cannot do it themselves, as they are no doubt too afraid of both of your power. (And Kronos. I salute all of you.)

Secondly, to Luke: I must protest your blatant dislike of Dr. Pepper. It may not be the best drink out there, but consider; it's better than Coke. Coke tingles too much and puts bubbles in the nose. (Actually, I like Dr. Pepper. If I join and drink Dr. Pepper around you, will you kill me?)

Atlas, I have no questions for you at the present time. Or comments, for that matter. All that was needed to be said was said earlier.

Loyally,
x- Mindy"

Luke punched the air, and he and Atlas exchanged a high-five. Atlas was so much taller than Luke that the later had to stand on a plush chair to reach.

"Someone go track down this Mindy person." Luke ordered. "And find anothergood one."

There was a longer pause.

"Well… this one may be promising…" the Mortal muttered.

"And someone get me an Apple juice!" Luke added. After a moment, someone handed him a juice box. Luke took a long drink, squeezing too hard and squirting it all over his face.

O-o

Dear Sarcastic Ninja.

Because His High and Mighty General Who Is Better Than You and His Mightyness did not wish to vocally answer all the questions, since their scribe was too lazy, Luke filled out the answers to you're questions as seen below.

Ahem, but first, a blatantly true staement. PEPSI PWNS ALL! –Comment by Luke- I. Like. Pepsi.

And now, onward with the questioning!

If I do join your cause, will my army of Dancing PEnguins also be able to assist you? Why, of course! They can dance in the street, distracting the innocent bystanders while His Mightyness blows them up. Why didn't I think of that?

Am I just another pointless soul to your cuase, and will you just say anything to get me to join? Yes.

If I join your cause, and then the titans win...

Will I Have accecptable living standards? I'm going to pretend I didn't see that misspelling.

Will I Still be alive? If you don't get yourself killed.

Will I Not get torchered? If you don't piss off His Mightyness. Or His High And Mighty General Who Is Better Than You.

Will I Get cookies? You may have the crumbs that Kronos leaves behind.

What about GIANT cookies? Do you know any giants personally?

WILL THERE BE CHEESE?!?!?!?! If we don't bomb the Tilimuck factory.

What types of cheese? Cheese-y cheese.

Will I get the opportunity to blow suff up with a cheese orientated bomb of some sort? Of course! That sounds fab! How about that pesky demigod camp?

WIll you protect the Penguins? With everyone's lives but my own.

Will there be an after-party after the War, in which we get Coldstone Creamery? I like Baskin Robbins.

Have you been to Cold Stone? Nope.

Do I get a 50% off coupon there if I join you? If you point a gun at the workers and set your penguins on them, you might be able to steal one.

What about Starbucks? Will There still be Starbuckses after the War? Of course. I couldn't survive without my fraps! Except for Sprite. I love sprite.

Can you get me a Rasberry Mocha Latte, iced, if I join? You can ask someone else.

Do you know how to kill someone with a yellow crayon? Stick it up their nose. Or write 'condemned' on their forehead, and someone will kill them for you.

If I join can my title be "Evil Dictatoress"? No, that's my title.

Do I get a title? Yes. "Mortal".

Will you comment on my deviantart page if I join? I'll have someone else do it.

Will you still comment on it after I join? Does it show people being blown up?

Can you carve somone's eye's out with a yellow crayon for me? I would, but I'm pretty busy. If you catch Percy Jackson. We can expi

Speaking of my business, how much time will I have to commit? As long as it takes to kick some godly butt.

Do we get Sick Days and how many Vacation Days? Do you like cold pits? That's where you will be vacationing.

Will I get to torture someone by asking {bombarding, really} them an endless stream of annoying quesions? Sure. As long as it isn't me.

Can I be a double agent? NO! I do not want my minions behind enemy lines. You might pick up bad habits.

Can we have code-names?!?!?!?! Yes. You will be 'Mortal 0581296'.

Can mine be 'The Golden Dragon of Fear'? What did I just say?

Can I have a country!? Greenland. But you'll have to share it.

If I can, can I have Ireland? How about Australia? No. I get Ireland and Australia.

It is absolutly important for all of my questions to be answered soon, before I can vaguely consider whether or not I should start to think about joining your cause.

From,

The Sarcastic Ninja