Yes, yes, yes! I am updating again! No, no, no! I've got to study! AARRRGH! Inner turmoil! AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH! (I feel like ripping something up.)

…Eh… Yeah. Weekend soon. Might get a piccy or two up, if I'm lucky. And to explain something: Owen plus Ianto equals :( But Owen's bitchiness is mostly due to the fact that he's in a very foul mood in this fic. (I said Owen is bithcy. Tee hee.)

Disclaimer: (see: I dun friggen own it.)

Task 5) Confront Owen about the matter of Myfanwy.

Briskly, Ianto turned on his heel, heading for the autopsy bay. What was he going to say? 'Hey Owen, just wonderin', since you're not all pissed at me or anything, if you're using some of the alien tech against the rules on Myfanwy? No. Alright. That's fine. How 'bout I go make you a nummy coffee? How's that sound? Brilliant!' Riiiiiiigghhht. Why not bait myself to a weevil as well? It'll have about the same results.

Today, of all days, was a bloody terrible day. Ianto just wanted to go home, but he'd made a list and he intended to finish it. "Even if it gets me killed," he grumbled, stopping at the top of the autopsy bay steps.

Owen apparently heard him. The doctor spun around on his chair, facing the Welshman. "Did you say something?"

"No, nothing," Ianto affirmed.

"Then what the hell do you want, tea-boy?" Ianto cringed at the name Owen had so lovingly bestowed upon him. It didn't even make sense. Generally, Ianto made coffee. Not tea. He made tea once, and that was because they were out of coffee.

The young man cleared his throat in preparation. "Have you noticed anything strange about Myfanwy?" he asked.

Owen gave Ianto a questioning look. Nonetheless, he snorted, "That oversized lizard-bird? Why would I care? All I can say is that I'm happy it's not shitting on my desk anymore."

Ianto hesitated. It didn't seem like the medic was lying. "Sorry, then. I'll let you get back to work…"

"Whatever."

If it wasn't Owen… I know it wasn't Jack… It couldn't be one of the women, could it? He glanced at the two, hard at work. I suppose I'll have to ask anyhow.

Ianto walked to Toshiko first, seeing as she was so much closer. She was typing furiously, almost oblivious to the world around her. Her hands were flying over the keyboard, and Ianto was half afraid that if he interrupted her, they would detach or something.

Luckily, Toshiko noticed him, saving him the trouble of getting her attention. "Oh, Ianto. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes, sorry. How was the coffee?" he began. Ianto decided this was far more awkward that asking Owen.

"Delicious as always." Ianto silently cheered that she did not mention Jack's coffee. "Is that all?" She glanced up at him curiously.

Ianto glanced around, though he was unsure why. "No. Do you…" he paused. How was he going to phrase this? 'Notice how you haven't been seeing much poo around?' Of course not! "…know about anything going on with Myfanwy? I think someone may be misusing alien tech, and I have to find out who it is." At least it didn't sound like he was accusing her of anything.

Toshiko frowned. "I'm sorry. I don't know a thing. I've been really busy lately. I'll tell you if I find out anything," the Japanese woman answered truthfully.

Ianto exhaled. "Thank you." Tosh returned to her work, and Ianto left her desk.

As he approached Suzie (who at the moment was holding a blowtorch), Ianto couldn't help but wonder if Suzie was the actual culprit. It hadn't even crossed his mind. It was near-impossible, right? Right. Suzie adored Myfanwy. She was the one who developed the protein sauce they used to help Myfanwy identify her food.

"Suzie?" Ianto called, keeping his distance from the sparks and flame.

"Oh, Ianto? What do you need?" Suzie asked, lifting up her mask.

The younger man shifted on his feet. "It's about Myfanwy."

"Oh," Suzie chuckled. "Is that why you were up there?"

"Yes. I've noticed that… eh…" He'd never really planned to say anything to the others.

"You've noticed she's not dropping waste everywhere," Suzie stated matter-of-factly.

Ianto looked surprised. "Yes. You've been doing this?"

"Yes. I thought it would become a problem, so I asked Jack if I could fiddle with some of the stuff we have. When Jack put in the toilet, though I can't fathom why, it was lucky, I guess. See, with all that junk, I created a nice little piece of equipment," she explained. "It has a bit of psychological components, and it psychically compels Myfanwy to stay in her cave if ever she needs to defecate. After she leaves… ZAP!" she cried, causing Ianto to jump. "Poo problem solved. Mind you, it's completely harmless to Myfanwy. I made sure to program it to only fire at her feces."

"And you hid it in the toilet?" Ianto asked rather skeptically.

Suzie nodded, her curls bouncing with her head.

"Alright. I guess I'll, uh, go then," Ianto said slowly.

"See ya, then."

The Welshman shook his head, walking away confused. He had no idea that anything like that could actually be made and stuck in a toilet. Sounds like some badly thought up dues ex machina. Sure, it was alien tech, just as he'd thought, but it couldn't have been that simple. Then again, this whole day had been terribly strange in all aspects, and it made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Ianto was seriously beginning to believe that Owen did, if fact, spike something of his with some kind of drug. That seemed to be the only reasonable explanation,

Once again lost in his thought, Ianto, once again, did not see the person in front of him as he was walking, and, once again, ran into them, once again falling on his bum.

"Oh, Ianto. Fancy seeing you here again." Once again, he was face to very low face with Jack. How convenient.

Task Five: Deus ex machina'd. Task Six: Ask Jack about the SUV.

Chapter five! Yay! I'm feeling very good right now, despite the fact that I thought this chapter was just okay. I think that's because, as I mentioned in the chapter one AN, this was originally meant to be a oneshot. When I decided to make it longer, I forgot that there are some of the numbers on the list that would make impossibly short chapters (for example, task 2: Make coffee.). Therefore, I have to think of a clever way to drag it out on the spot (for example, task 2: make coffee - suck up to the boss and tick off your coworker). I think I'm doing rather well, though.

Please tell me what you think! You know you want to! I love all your reviews. (By the way, thank you to all who reviewed for the last two chapters! They really were great! I got the motivation to write on because of them!)

You've just been dues ex machina'd!