Omake!
In case you don't know, omakes are those silly little bits after the end of an anime episode. Singeiviore and I like to think of them as DVD extras. More props to singeivoire for writing this one.
Shizune lifted aside the curtain to the restaurant booth, an expression of happy surprise ready on her face. It melted away as she took in what awaited her. Sakura, Anko, Kurenai, and Tsunade herself were flanking a cake the size of a table. It was lavender with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" piped on it in lurid green frosting.
"Happy birthday, Shizune!" Kurenai's grin didn't look entirely innocent.
"Happy birthday, senpai!" Even Sakura had an evil gleam in her eye.
"Um, hi – thanks. What – what's with the cake?"
"Oh, this?" Tsunade used her most business-like tone. "This is your birthday present – from all of us. I was going to get you a book on experimental medical ninjutsu and its role in the broader political arena, but Sakura tells us these days your interests are running along more… exciting courses."
"That's a very big cake." Shizune glanced between the four other women, a worried frown wrinkling her forehead.
"Yes, yes it is," Anko cackled, waggling her eyebrows.
"Yes, senpai, and we think you'll really like the… flavor." Sakura crossed her arms across her chest, not hiding the mischief in her expression.
"We couldn't recruit Iruka, unfortunately, seeing as he just got out of surgery." Kurenai gave an apologetic head shake.
"Wait—there's someone in—who did you put in the cake?" Shizune backed up a step.
"Actually, I suggested Ibiki Morino seeing as you apparently have a thing for scars, but he's out on a mission." Anko's voice was uncomfortably loud and chock full of insinuations.
"Yes, and unfortunately we couldn't talk Kakashi-sensei into foregoing his mask—even for such an occasion as your birthday." Sakura grinned.
"But I was able to find someone." Tsunade looked altogether too pleased with herself.
"Oh yes, and he was very enthusiastic about it, really." Sakura nodded her assent.
"How do you feel," Anko leaned over the table and glanced at the cake, eyes sparkling, "about older men, Shizune?"
"Wha – I – who?" Shizune picked up Ton-Ton and held the pig in her arms like a shield. Ton-Ton gave a worried squeal.
"And white hair—do you like white hair?" Tsunade's business-like tone was almost worse than Anko's insinuations.
"How about toads? You're an animal lover, right?" Kurenai gestured toward the pig in Shizune's arms.
"Holy shit!" Shizune's eyes grew wide with terror. Ton-Ton squealed—possibly mirroring her master's emotions, possibly because Shizune was squeezing her in her distress. "No! I'm—ack!" She passed her horrified gaze over the enormous purple confection one final time before wheeling on her heel and fleeing through the curtain.
The pink-haired apprentice reached over and gave the Hokage an enthusiastic high-five. The Hokage waited until Shizune's footsteps couldn't be heard in the hallway anymore before rapping on the side of the hollow purple cake.
"Gai?"
"Hai, Tsunade-sama!" came the muffled reply.
"You're off the hook."
"Thank you, Tsunade-sama!"
There was a brief pause before the muffled voice was heard again. "Tsunade-sama?"
"Yes?"
"Should I come out now?"
Tsunade glanced at the other women, eyes wide, and as one they made a mad dash for the curtained exit.