Retribution
By
PND
Part 6
"What do you mean?" The confusion in Stark's voice would have been beautiful if it had been anyone else, but hearing in from the Espada made Yumichika's heart oscillate wildly for a few seconds. "Why can't I love you? It seems like you've been mentioning it a lot; like you think you're not allowed to be loved. Why do you think that?"
"The only person I want to be loved by is Ikkaku. He's the only one that matters."
For some reason those words struck hard in Stark's head. He gritted his teeth and pushed Yumichika away from him, sending the shinigami back several feet. "You fucking expect me to believe that? How can you care about someone like that? The bastard left you for dead."
"I'm not saying he didn't. He might have and I can deal with that," Yumichika, lifted a hand and gently rubbed the back of his neck in a frustrated manner. "That's a problem that is entirely my own and I will cross that bridge when I come to it. Just let me know what you want."
"Nothing," Stark sighed. "I don't want anything from you now."
"Just another way of saying I'm useless," Yumichika gave him a slight smile.
"Go back to Lilinette's room. I don't want to look at you if you're going to act like crap."
"Very well, Sir," Yumichika stood, exiting the Espada's chambers. He didn't go to Lilinette's room, however. He followed the strongest spiritual pressure he could find until he reached Aizen's chambers. Surprisingly, the arrancar guarding the door let him by without question.
Aizen's looked up as the shinigami entered his room. A wide smile crossed his lips.
"What do I owe the pleasure, Yumichika?" The warm smile didn't suite the look on his face. "Are you getting along with Stark? He's a hard man to love, isn't he?"
"We're getting along just fine," Yumichika answered directly, not batting an eyelash. "Thank you for your concern."
"You're insulting my intelligence if you think I'd believe that," Aizen's chuckle filled the room, amusement evident in his brown eyes. "You're an interesting man. You don't like it here, but you don't leave. You stay close to him, but you won't let me touch you. Do you think that staying by his side will protect you in some way, or are you using it as an excuse?"
"An excuse?" Yumichika blinked, pulling his focus off of the wall behind Aizen's head. He was uncomfortable enough finding himself in Aizen's private quarters, let alone being questioned about his relationship with Stark. He wasn't sure how long he could take the fake understanding Aizen seemed to possess.
Aizen appraised him as if he were a fine horse, crossing the room until he was directly in front of the young man. He smiled, "You don't have to act so noble, Yumichika. It's fine to be afraid. It shows me that you aren't stupid." He lifted a hand to Yumichika's lips and Aizen's spiritual pressure heightened as he leaned forward, dark eyes twinkling. "Are you scared yet?"
"Why would I be scared when I know I'll probably enjoy whatever you'll do to me?" Yumichika answered, a coy look on his face. "It would be useless in this situation."
"You should really say things like that more often," Aizen chuckled under his breath and lifted the young man's chin. "Honesty is something of a surprise coming from you."
"It's a waste of time to convince myself otherwise. You're strong and smarter than I am, you should already realize this." Yumichika sighed and closed his eyes as Aizen began to rub his chest. "Just do what you want. I don't care."
"He's missing, Stark!" Lilinette shook the espada awake much harder than necessary. "Wake up! We have to find him!"
"I know," Stark murmured, cracking an eye open. "He's with Lord Aizen."
"What?" Lilinette's light eyes narrowed in disgust and she hammered a fist down on his chest. She ignored the larger man's wince and grabbed his shirt. "Why haven't you gone after him yet?"
"I can't," Stark turned his head away and closed his eyes. "You don't think I haven't wanted to? I said some things to him that I shouldn't have. He went there on his own."
"I hate him," Lilinette growled, smacking Stark's arm to emphasize her words. "Yumichika deserves better than that! He deserves someone like you."
"Don't say that. He could do much better than me," the man chuckled darkly. "I just want him for sex, same as Aizen."
"No you don't!" Lilinette shook him again. "You care for him! I know you do because I do!"
"Maybe I do. So what?" the Espada murmured. "He doesn't want me at all."
Yumichika didn't like the taste and feel of Aizen. He much preferred Stark's slight saltiness to the cleanness of Aizen's lips. He'd been wrong. Nothing Aizen had done so far had been enjoyable. The shinigami's thoughts kept drifting back to the man he'd left alone.
He couldn't even react to the caress of Aizen's hand or the eagerness of his mouth. The ex-captain seemed to notice and eventually stopped.
"You're distracted? That's a shame."
"My apologies," Yumichika glanced up at the larger man. "I just can't seem to find myself wanting you."
"You're never without a sharp word, are you?" Aizen's smile stiffened a little and he pushed himself off of his own bed. "Well, I guess if you're just going to sit there I won't bother."
"I'm sorry to have disappointed you."
"It's not a problem," Aizen reached down to pick up his sword. He noted the way Yumichika's body immediately stiffened as he initiated the sword's shikai.
Yumichika breathed loudly as Aizen's face faded out of his vision. He knew what Aizen's zanpakuto did and he knew that the man now hovering over him was still the same man, but...
"Is this better?" Aizen asked, brown eyes narrowing with humor.
Yumichika's eyes fluttered slightly to acknowledge the change. He shoved himself up and pressed his mouth eagerly against Aizen's. The familiar feel of his body was very comforting. Just the sight of Ikkaku's face lifted his spirits immensely, all though something was still searing at the back of his mind.
"You aren't real," Yumichika murmured, closing his eyes. "And you never will be."
Ikkaku wrapped his arms more tightly around Yumichika, trying to snuggle deeper into the warm of his partner. There was a soft giggle in response and Yumichika playfully pushed the man's face away from the crook of his neck.
"What's your problem?" The bald man asked teasingly. "You usually don't mind this."
"I'm usually not trying to sleep," Yumichika tried to hide his head under his pillow. "You had me up half of the night anyway! Kicking me and stealing the covers!"
"Oh shut up," Ikkaku chuckled, pulling the blankets off of the smaller man and tossing them across the room.
"Cold!" Yumichika whimpered, immediately curled himself up.
"I'll keep you warm," Ikkaku mumbled, placing a kiss on the back of his neck.
"Ikkaku, you'd better keep your hand out of my—"
--
The door flung open and Yumichika opened his eyes, ripped away from his dreams. Hard footsteps cross the room and Yumichika looked up into Stark's angry face. He immediately tried to sit up, but a quick glance showed him Aizen's arms were locked tightly around his waist.
Yumichika's eyes flickered back to Stark's face and immediately felt nauseous. Aizen just had a self-satisfied smile on his face; all illusion of Ikkaku had already drifted away.
"Get up now," Stark said stiffly.
"Yes," Yumichika murmured, keeping his eyes downcast. Stark leaned over to grab the shinigami's clothing from the floor and roughly shoved it into his arms. He turned away as Yumichika hastily pulled on the pants and shirt. Yumichika could feel the anger searing off of the espada. "I'm ready, Stark."
Stark didn't bother looking at him. He vaguely inclined his head to Aizen, grabbed the shinigami's wrist, and walked out of the room.
Yumichika followed behind obediently, wishing the man would say something to him. No such luck. Yumichika would be forced to break the silence.
"You're angry," he said quietly, knowing it was very true.
"Of course I'm angry," Stark growled. "Aizen had no right to treat you like that!"
"I let him." Yumichika murmured, unable to look him in the eyes. "I wanted him to."
"You shouldn't let people treat you like that. It's disgusting."
"How is he any different from you?" Yumichika stopped in the middle of the corridor. "You're both the same."
"I am not like him," Stark whipped around to face the smaller man. "I would never do anything like that to you."
"You're right," Yumichika sniffed. "He just did what you couldn't."
They stood in silent tension, neither one moving or commenting to Yumichika's words.
Stark finally made a noise of frustration and shoved the man against the wall. "Do you want me to treat you like he does? I don't want to hurt you. I will if that's what you really want, though."
"You don't have to do that," Yumichika murmured. "I just was frustrated and Aizen took me seriously."
"When I have not treated you seriously?"
"You treat me like a person. I don't want that. He treated me like he wanted to. It was refreshing."
"Shit," Stark sighed, resting his head against the cool stone of the wall. "I'm never going to be able to compete with anything, am I?"
"No," Yumichika answered calmly. "Look, I'm sorry I made you angry. I'll return to your room immediately."
"I'll go with you."
"I want to be alone," Yumichika gave the first real smile Stark had seen in a long time. "I had a nice dream and I want to try to remember it as long as possible."
Stark watched the shinigami walk down the corridor and a few minutes later, Stark followed, but ended at a different destination.
Lilinette had all ready opened the door for him before he could knock. He entered without a word and sat down on the soft chair that was settled in the corner. Lilinette automatically gave him a worried look and crawled up into his lap, gently putting her arms around his neck, head on his chest.
She wouldn't say anything.
She'd just sit here and let him breathe.
End.