While You Were With Us
Do you remember when you finally decided to join us?
The next morning passed with you being bored out of your mind. From behind you I could hear you sigh and see your shoulders heave each time sensei asked a question that no one could answer. Then you would raise your hand and brusquely give the correct response, which did not elevate your popularity with the rest of the class.
You knew all the katakana and simple kanji, and could read aloud smoothly without hesitation. I wondered why sensei would not advance you to the next level class. You would have been better off and so would the rest of us. I admit sadly that you made us feel so inferior. My love and admiration for you was tinged with envy. Why couldn't I have been born a prodigy? My parents would have been so proud. They would've bragged to everyone around them and handed out cigars with prodigy announcements, instead of trying to make up excuses for my clumsiness and naiveté.
During recess, you worked on your jutsu in a corner of the yard, away from the rest of us. You were already able to do bunshin, with two clones, and henge fairly well, even if the results were just midget versions of sensei and the Hokage. Several of us saw your achievements and came closer to watch. Gai stared intensely, as if mesmerized.
Obito, too, was impressed, though he tried to hide it. "That's no big deal," he scoffed.
This time you did not bother to reply. You transformed into Obito… and mooned him.
The audience laughed hysterically. I couldn't help but giggle, too.
Obito's face turned redder than pickled beets. "Bastard!" he yelled as he stepped toward you.
The crowd gasped at the use of foul language by a four year old, though many had uttered far worse phrases, but never in front of a teacher.
Sensei suddenly appeared, grabbed Obito's collar and stopped him from jumping on you. "That's enough you two. Kakashi, come with me," he said strictly. He did not sound amused, but there was a twinkle in his eyes even as he led you away.
Obito did not follow, but I heard him mutter, "My butt doesn't look like that."
The next day at recess, more of us decided to forego the fun and games and instead watch you train, hoping to pick up some tips. This time, instead of ignoring us, you addressed us like a class.
"Here are some basic jutsu you'll be learning first," you announced, pacing your corner of the yard as if giving an important lecture.
Despite the incident from yesterday, Obito stood behind me, wanting to learn, yet resentful of your talent. Gai stood in front, taking it all in with his inquisitive eyes. Kaori stood next to me. She was not one to play with the other kids either. She usually read a book during recess, but after the commotion yesterday, she now joined the spectators.
"This is the bunshin jutsu," you said as one Kakashi. "I can make two to three clones right now, but in time I should be able to do more," you said as triplets in unison.
Ooo's and ah's rose from the crowd.
"This is the henge jutsu," you said as one normal Kakashi. "I can transform to any human about my size, but I still need to work on transforming to larger and smaller figures," you said as the First Hokage, albeit two feet shorter.
"How'd you do that?" asked Gai, voicing the thought in all our minds.
You slowly showed us the katas used to perform the jutsu. "It takes a lot of hard work, practice and talent." You emphasized the last word as you looked at Obito, who surprisingly said nothing. Then you explained chakra and the ratios of spiritual and physical chakra, and the different types of element techniques for higher level jutsu. I was trying my best to absorb it all, but at that age, my memory for jutsu was like a ripped sieve.
There were more ooo's and ah's from the audience, but Obito remained stubbornly silent, refusing to acknowledge your genius.
"Can you show m…I mean, us how to do it?" asked Gai.
But before you could answer, sensei stepped in again. "No, Kakashi, it's too dangerous. These kids are not ready yet. They're too young…"
"They're the same age as I am!"
"You're different. You can't expect them to have the same ability. If the jutsu goes wrong…"
"If I'm different, then promote me!"
"Kakashi, come with me," sensei said, and again you followed his bulky form back into the classroom for a private talk.
Although I was not excited about getting up early and going to school every morning, now I had something to look forward to. What would you do at the next recess?
You showed us your weapons. Most of us had already seen kunai and shuriken, but we were normally not allowed to touch them. You passed several around like candy, but you held onto your tanto.
The objects felt sharply cold in my hands and they were heavier than they looked. I carefully touched the tip of the kunai and felt the sharp point. The shuriken was prettier, I thought, shaped like a four pointed spinning star. Then I passed the shuriken and kunai to Gai, who made jabbing motions with the kunai, pretending to fight an invisible enemy. Obito also held one of each. The boys among us began to throw them at the side of the building since there were no targets set up in the yard.
To the remaining students, you gave a lecture. "Shuriken don't normally kill, but they can injure your opponent. They're best used as a distraction. Kunai are more flexible. They can be thrown or used for hand-to-hand combat. They're good for anything from gutting or scaling a fish to gutting or flaying your oppon…"
"What do you think you're doing!" Sensei was much more upset this time. Before he could say another word, a stray shuriken nearly took off the fuzz on his chin, but he caught it with his left hand. I think it was Obito who threw it.
"Weapons aren't allowed in this class!" Sensei confiscated all the weapons then asked you again to follow him back to the classroom.
"That was fun." Gai smiled broadly at me, showing all the gaps between his teeth.
"I've got a whole set of those at home," boasted Obito.
I wondered if that was true. He seemed to be just as absorbed with the weapons as everyone else. But if he was from a great ninja clan, he probably did have a set. Maybe he just wasn't allowed to use them.
The afternoon dragged on with lessons on the Konoha community and its citizens and services – as if we didn't know about shopkeepers, farmers, medics, and shinobi roles. I saw Gai draw kunai and shuriken in his notebook instead of listening to the lecture while Kaori drew pictures of pretty girls with big eyes. Having no artistic talent, I found myself drifting off. Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of another exciting day at the Shinobi Academy, but not before we got our homework assignment: draw a map from home to school, indicating landmarks, buildings and whatever else we wanted to add.
When I got home I told my mother about your antics. "That's White Fang's son for you." She laughed and shook her head. I thought she would be more disapproving. I knew I would have been punished if it were me.
"White Fang?" The name sounded familiar, but again my memory failed me.
"Hatake Sakumo, your father's captain," she explained. "Don't you remember anything I tell you?" She sighed and handed me the dishes to set up for dinner, just the two of us.
"Oh, yes, I forgot." Actually, I didn't remember at all. I may have looked like my mother, but I didn't have her acute mind.
"We were all in the Academy together." She smiled at the memory. "Don't tell your father, I had a bit of a crush on him, but he didn't look twice at me. Well, things worked for the better, right? Now I have you." She gave me a rare hug and I wondered what she was really thinking.
"We haven't heard from Dad in a while," I ventured to say.
"Don't worry. His rotation will be ending in a few weeks. And considering he's under one of the best jounin, I'm not worried."
I wondered again if that was really true. We hadn't received a message by hawk in a long time. Dad was usually pretty good about sending letters home every week or two. In fact, no one had heard from his platoon in a while.
But I was young and easily distracted. Instead of worrying about my father, I thought only of you.
At the next recess, you took out some slips of paper with black squiggles on them. I couldn't tell whether it was calligraphy or art or just random marks.
"These are explosive tags," you explained. "You can use these in traps or attach them to a kunai…"
"Ooo, can we set one off?" Gai asked eagerly.
You took one of the tags and stuck it on a tree. "Stand back," you warned as you performed a seal.
A loud bang followed by the sound of splintering wood, then the whole tree bent over.
As expected, sensei came rushing over, his big belly jiggling, his face all red and puffy. "This is it Kakashi! I can't leave you unsupervised, can I? Let's be clear on this. No ninja techniques. No weapons of any sort. No ninja accessories. No food pills, no blood pills, no soldier pills, no shinobi rations, no swords or knives or clubs or flash bombs. No firecrackers or fireworks, nothing that explodes, nothing related to ninja at all, period. Nothing potentially dangerous, period. We're just here to learn the very basics. Think civilian for now!" He ordered everyone back into class.
Kaori shook her head as we entered the classroom. "That Kakashi, what does he think he's doing? All he's doing is making sensei mad. He should just obey sensei and follow the rules."
I thought hard about what she said. What were you trying to do? Liven up the class maybe?
The afternoon continued with more sums and subtraction of various fruits and vegetables, as if food could possibly make math more interesting. I saw Gai drawing explosions in his note book and Kaori doodling flowers in hers. In front, I saw you writing something that looked like a list. I couldn't make out what it was, but it definitely wasn't math.
At the end of class, everyone hurried out the door, as if chased by a rabid boar, while I lingered just long enough to walk out with you.
"Kakashi-kun, do you mind if I ask… I mean, why do you do the things you do during recess, even after sensei spoke to you so many times?"
"I'm winning," you told me.
"Winning? You mean like a contest?"
"Yes, a contest of wills. Sensei will break soon." You smiled mischievously, confidently. It was the first time I saw you smile.
"Break down? And then what?"
"Then I'll be gone."
"Is it that bad to be with us?" The idea that I would have to endure class without you, disturbed me greatly.
"I'm suffocating here," you said, then brusquely walked past me, pushing through the crowd and out the door.
I walked slowly and sadly home, thinking about your frustration with the rest of us. I knew I was being selfish. I did not want you to leave, but I also knew it would be better for everyone if you did. The class moral was low and your attempts during recess could not compensate for it.
When I arrived home, mom was not there. I took out my homework, counted my fingers and toes, and sighed. How could I keep up with you? Even if you were to stay with us, you saw us as babies, inferior to you. How could I make you see me in a different light? But there was nothing I could do - I knew my limits. I was no prodigy. I was so far from you, you would need a telescope to see me.
Sensei seemed to relent a bit. The next morning we had a break from reading, writing, and arithmetic. He taught us how to make origami shuriken. Or at least he tried to teach us. Mine looked rather indescript. Kaori's was perfect as expected. Gai's didn't look much better than mine, but he force folded it into shape and taped it so that it was recognizable as a shuriken. You didn't bother to make a single fold.
Despite the mostly poor attempts, the class reveled in having paper weapons. Sensei soon regretted his hospitable act as paper shuriken whizzed across the room and at his head from all directions. Some were purposely thrown at your back. I suspected it was Obito and a few other boys who sat near him, but you pretended not to notice. Sensei called recess early, hoping we'd take out our energy in the yard.
As soon as sensei left us alone, probably to relax with a nice cup of tea laced with kava kava, you called all of us together.
"Hey, anyone want to play Protect Kikyo's Pass? Half of you are Leaf shinobi, the other half are Stone shinobi. The scroll bearer has to cross enemy territory to score a point. Opponents have to tackle the one carrying the scroll. The rest of his team has to protect him from being tackled." You proceeded to explain the rules and positions. Most of the boys and a few of the girls listened with interest.
It sounded like a rough game. I sat down with Kaori who had absolutely no interest in running around and getting tackled like a bunch of "wild pack animals" as she put it.
Obito wandered over, stood near us, and muttered, "Just look at that. Just who does he think he is, acting like he's in charge. I should report him to sensei right now." But he didn't. Obito did not take part in the game, but he did not take his eyes off of you either.
We watched as Gai, selected by you to be the first scroll bearer, ran and dodged frantically as several larger boys tried to trip him and jump him. His bangs flopped, his broken smile permanent fixed to his face, even when he was finally brought down just a foot away from the goal line. I was worried that the rest of his teeth would be knocked out. As it was, he escaped with just some bruises and scrapes. The next scroll bearer was not so lucky.
You were acting as referee and coach, calling out plays and stratagems. I doubt if any of the players realized you were coordinating an attack. The Hyuuga boy was crushed under a pile of bodies. We had not yet learned how to fall properly. He broke his leg and his painful howl reached sensei's ears.
This time, sensei's face was pale and his voice low and deadly serious. "Kakashi, the playground is no place for a battlefield." He proceeded to apply first aid to… Isn't strange… I can't remember his name anymore. He was one of the first of us who passed on... Sensei then called the medics to take him to the hospital for further treatment.
Afternoon class was uncomfortably still. Sensei had us work in silence while he filled out a pile of paperwork for the accident report. He dismissed us abruptly before time was up - all except you. It was the last day of our first week of class and there was no class the next day.
I spent the time off not studying or reading or doing anything academic or shinobi related. I played with my neglected stuffed animals and dolls. And I worried about what would happen to you. Sensei was more than just mad. Later I learned the Hyuuga boy was someone special and his family filed a complaint against him.
You did not return to our class after that day. I did not talk to you again for years, though I had glimpses of you as you passed by to attend the advanced classes. I heard you graduated the academy within a year and joined the ranks at war. I worried about you, wondering if I'd ever see you again. So many of us who left to seek glory never returned.
I never forgot you, though I can't say I thought about you everyday. When you're young, events easily pass as new ones take importance. But once in a while I wondered what happened to you. Sometimes I heard your name mentioned around the village and I would ask for news. The adults surmised my feelings and were happy to give me reports of your progress.
Maybe love is the wrong word; after all, what does a child of four or five know about love, except for that of her family? But I felt you were special, different, someone I would remember fondly forever.
-…-…-…-
Next: Our Team