I

Chapter 11

- Peopleee!!

The young al-bhed rushed into the hotel room with a wide smile on her face and full of energy. Wakka and Lulu, who were sitting on the sofa suddenly got up, and Kimahri who was staring at the window turned around; all of them waiting to hear the good news.

- Yunie woke up!

A smile was now on Lulu and Kimahri's faces; Wakka stood some seconds emotionless, staring at Rikku, until he shouted:

- Yeah! Let's go see her, yah?!

- Let's go go go! - Rikku was jumping with excitement.

And there they went. The hospital wasn't far from the hotel, and they were walking at full speed (Rikku insisted that they should run, but Wakka told her to "hold her Chocobos"), so it didn't took much time until they arrived to the big building. As soon as they entered, they immediately went on their way to Yuna's room; they had gone there so many times in the past week that they already knew exactly where it was. On their way, they found Dr.Homes.

- Oh, here you are! - the doctor greeted them - the lady Summoner is already conscious. - He said that with a prideful smile.

- How is she? - Lulu asked.

- Well, I think it is too soon to take any conclusion, but it seems to me that she is pretty fine. - he looked at a notebook he was carrying - until now, no signs of brain damage or trauma; her shoulder is pretty much the same as it was a week ago, but that is normal considering the deepness of the wound... - he raised his eyes for a moment, and then he redirected them again to the notebook - it should begin to heal this week or the next. Until then...

- Yeah, yeah, we can hear that later! Just let me go see her! - Rikku was getting with her excitement accumulated from being there listening to the healer. Dr.Homes raised his eyes again from the notebook and gave a somewhat reprehensive look to the young al-bhed.

- The lady Summoner is resting now, I don't know if...

- I'm pretty sure she would be glad to see us. - Lulu abruptly interrupted the doctor - And don't worry, if she is sleeping we won't disturb her.

- Well,... - the healer's eyes were jumping between the notebook and the guardians - you may see her. But don't...

- Alright! - Rikku didn't stay there to listen what Dr.Homes was saying and started to walk in direction of Yuna's room, and was quickly followed by the rest of the guardians.

- Man, that guy was really freaking me out with that notebook! - Wakka said as he walked through the hospital's corridors.

They had finally reached Yuna's room. Just when Rikku was about to open the door, Kimahri grabbed her shoulder, pulling her back.

- H-hey! - she exclaimed with surprise; she gave a "what-the-hell look" to the ronso.

- Rikku calm down first. - it was all he said.

- I--aa...

- Kimhary is right... we shouldn't get in there jumping, she may be really tired and not in the mood... - Lulu said with her arms crossed. - we should enter quietly first, to check if she is awake.

- Well... yeah, I suppose...

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Someone opened the door. Although her eyes were closed, she was awake and heard some steps coming in the room. Well, she heard several steps actually. There should be more than one person coming in.

- Oohh... She's sleeping...

- That was kinda predictable, yah?

- Yeah, but...

- Shhh! you two! Don't wake her up.

She gave a thankful sigh as she heard that whisper dialogue. It was her guardians there, not another doctor. Wakka, and Lulu, and Rikku... and maybe Kimahri (that was hard to tell since he doesn't speak much...). She decided to open her eyes, and face her guardians for the first time since...

- Hey! She's awake! - Rikku said cheerfully.

- Hey guys... - she said with a weak voice, forcing a smile.

- Oh, I'm sorry we woke you up Yuna... - Lulu seemed embarrassed.

- No, that's okay... I was already awaken... - she gave a look around, to see Rikku, Wakka and Lulu's happy faces; Kimahri was there too, looking at her with affection and preoccupation.

- Oh, Yunie, we're so glad you're okay! - Rikku was jumping again.

- Yes, we were very worried about you...

- Hey! That doesn't matter now! You are alright, that's it! - Wakka said - But, damn, you gave us a hell of a scare, yah?

- I... - "I apologize? nah..." - I'm glad you are here.

- We came here every day to check on you... but every day the same old routine...

- Until today! I came here and I was told that you had awakened!

- So... I know this may be a stupid question, but... do you fell alright?

The Summoner looked to her guardians. They looked happy... happy to see her fine.

- I'll be fine. It's... nothing I can't handle with - Yuna said, looking down to the white sheets of her bed.

- Well, if there's anything we can do to make ya feel better, just say, yah?

- Yes, of course... Thank you. - She still didn't have raised her eyes from the bed. She couldn't. She didn't have the courage to face them after what happened in Besaid. "Calm down... There is no way they know..."

- Are... you sure you are okay, Yunie? - Rikku sat on the bed, and lowered her head to the same level as Yuna's, trying to see her face. Yuna directed her eyes to her cousin, and forced a smile.

- Yeah... I'm just...a bit tired, that's all.

Rikku smiled too and got up again.

"One, two, three"

She raised slowly her head, to face her guardians. Paranoia was filling her brain. "They don't know... no way..."

- So, ahm... what really happened? I... don't remember quite well... - she asked, and hoped for the best. "They can't know..."

- We don't really know... - Wakka started, scratching his forehead - we just found you at the shore of Besaid...

Yuna felt like the weight of the world had just been removed from her shoulders.

- Hmm... I see... - she directed her eyes again to the sheets, just to raise them again after a few seconds - tell me, how long am I here?

- Well... about a week now - Lulu answered. - we were getting really worried about you...

- Yeah, you had been sleeping for the entire week! Not a single sign of waking up, yah?

- But Yuna is fine now. - Kimahri looked at her protected. She gave a frustrated try to look at the ronso in the eyes - We are very relieved.

- Yep! We and the entire Spira! - Rikku said, raising her arms.

- The... entire Spira? - she empathized the word "entire", hoping that to be just her cousin overreacting the situation.

- Yeah! Everyone is worried about you! - it was Wakka who answered - Man, we got some hard times getting the people away from here...

- Yes, everyone wanted to visit the Summoner... - Lulu continued - they just didn't seem to realize that that would be worse for you... - the black mage shocked her head slowly.

"Oh, crap..." It was true. The entire Spira. Why couldn't they just leave her alone? She had thought that, being there she would be left alone, that she would disappear from people's sights... That, maybe, they would start to solve their problems alone. But no... they would keep coming, again and again, until the point when she was again in the same old routine as before, back to point zero... She was starting to feel weak, to loose her strength... She let out a long and desperate sigh, and lowered her head again.

- Something's wrong? - Rikku asked.

- Just... tell them I died.

Rikku and Wakka gasped, Lulu widened her eyes.

- W-what do ya say? - Wakka couldn't believe in his hears.

- Tell them that I died here. - Yuna's voice was weak, almost a whisper.

- Ha?... Why? - Rikku inquired with a confused voice.

- Because I'm tired...

- Well, don't worry - Wakka tried to cheer her up - you'll get better! Once you begin to heal...

- No. I'm tired. - the Summoned raised her head and her voice, scaring everyone on the room - Tell them I'm dead. Then maybe they would stop coming to me... - she was breathing heavily - I'm tired... of being their solution to everything... - her voice was a whisper again.

That sudden outburst let everyone in the room speechless. They would never think about that like that; they would never question Yuna's feelings about the people that come to Besaid to see her. They always thought that she was fine, she never gave signs of being tired of doing that... "How stupid were we?" Lulu reprehended herself; she knew that Yuna, even feeling desperate, wouldn't show signs of feeling like that, she would continue to do what she thought that would bring people's happiness... "Even after the pilgrimage, she is still a martyr..."

That tense silence was broken by Lulu.

- We... are sorry - the mage lowered her head - Maybe... you are right. You shouldn't be pressed by those people. I'm sorry we never realized that. - she looked to the other guardians, hoping they would say something "And, for Yevon's sake, don't say anything stupid!".

- Well, I guess... we should have noticed that before... I mean... yeah, sorry Yunie... It was never my inten... our intention to make you feel like that... - the al-bhed's face was red with the embarrassment.

- If it makes Yuna happy, Kimahri will keep that people away from you.

Yuna remained silent, with her head down, and gave another sigh.

- I just... I'm sick of them... - some tears were being formed in her eyes - I'm sick of having to pretend that I don't feel sad because of... everything...

- Everything? - Kimahri inquired.

- Everything... - a tear was rolling on her face, although the guardians couldn't see it - those people, the routine, him...

That "him" let them confused, but just for a moment; just until they remembered the fading guardian on the airship's deck.

- When I get out of here... I don't want to attend to anyone... never again... I don't care anymore.

Those words of her, when she said that she didn't care, made a great impact on the guardians. That wasn't like Yuna, she would never say anything like that, she always cared... Or she always pretended she cared... Those words, made them see, made them open their eyes to the cold reality in front of them... made them finally realize that Yuna wasn't the strong Summoner, always ready for everything, always caring for the others, never caring for herself... they realized that Yuna was just a human... a human with feelings that she had bottled up inside her, until now.

None of the guardians knew what to say, and Yuna wasn't going to say anything either. Again, the room was ruled by a tense silence.

- I don't care what you think, but once I'm out of here, I'll leave Besaid.

Although that was a somewhat shocking revelation, they didn't seem surprised. Maybe some minutes before, they would gasp, and say that she couldn't do that... but right now, none of them had the courage to say so; actually, none of them thought that it was their right to say so... If she didn't care about the other people anymore, she could do whatever she wanted to, and they didn't have the right to stop her.

- Where... will you go? - Lulu asked. Her first reaction was to ask "why?", but she thought that it didn't matter right now, and she wanted to show her she wasn't going to stop her or question her reasons. Actually, the mage was so scared with Yuna's "I-don't-care" attitude that she wasn't really sure if she wanted to know her reasons.

- I'm not sure... - Yuna passed her hand in her head, cleaning discreetly the tear that was still on her face - But I have plenty of time to think about it while I'm here right?

- Yeah... right - Lulu wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but smiled, trying to show her her support (even though she wasn't sure if she should support such a radical decision).

And even before she noticed, there was a smile on Yuna's face. An involuntary genuine smile; that was something that she didn't have for a long time. She had no idea why she was smiling, but in her subconscious she knew; she was happy because she had said what she wanted for herself (not for the others) and she wasn't being refuted by her guardians; now she could really follow her heart.

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The group walked out of the room as the Summoner said she wanted to rest. They gave some steps in silence in the hospital's corridor until Wakka, who was in the front of the group, suddenly turned around, making the guardians stop their walking abruptly; Rikku crashed against Kimahri's blue body.

- Hey? What's the deal? - shouted the al-bhed as she tried to regain her balance.

- Do you think Yuna was serious? - Wakka inquired, crossing his arms and looking to the ground. - I mean... She's leaving Besaid?

- Who knows... - Lulu tried to start, but was interrupted by an enthusiastic Rikku.

- Of course she was serious! Why would she say something like that if she wasn't talking seriously?

- B-but... leaving Besaid?! That's... that's crazy, yah?

- Didn't you listen to her? - now Rikku was also with her arms crossed - she's sick and tired of Besaid. And I think she's right!

- But...

- She hadn't done anything else but just being there since she defeated Sin! She would get tired of it eventually, don't you think? - Rikku seemed angry.

- Makes sense... But it's not just that; the way she reacted, she... - Lulu was trying to find some sense on Yuna's words - I don't know if it's from the pain she's in, or if she really meant that, but...

- Yeah, I see what you mean... - Wakka leaned to the wall - I'm still kinda freaked out with her attitude. I never saw her like that, yah?

- Oh, come on, you two! She is just asking for the rest she deserves! - Rikku was now looking seriously at the two guardians - I think she's doing the right thing. And if she's really leaving the island, I'll be the first to help her!

- If it makes Yuna happy, Kimahri will help too. - Those words made Rikku smile to the Ronso - And I think she is serious; when Yuna talk about serious things, Yuna doesn't joke.

- We're not saying she was joking, Kimahri... - Lulu gave a sigh - I just think that, being there for a week made her start to feel a little desperate, you know? And the physical pain mustn't be helping either...

- Yuna is strong; I believe she was telling the truth. - the Ronso was now looking at the two guardians with a severe face; almost scary - She can't live in Besaid forever. It will be good for her to leave the island.

Both Wakka and Lulu were amazed with Kimahri. They thought that he would be the first to oppose to Yuna's radical decision.

- Yeah! That's right! You expected her to live there forever? - Rikku was now with a triumphant look on her face.

- But, leaving the island... that's too...

- Yuna is a grown up woman now; she should make her own decisions.

- Yep! She must begin to live for herself. Otherwise... what was the point of living?

End of Chapter 11

I had to consult my dictionary, like, dozens of times while writing this chapter. There are some words around there that I'm not sure if they are correct... If I screwd up the text with bad english, I apologize, and please, let me know about my mistakes!

By the way, I may now write at a slower pace... this is because I am now writing other fanfics about... music videos! Yeah, fanfics about music videos, I'm not joking. Check my profile if you are interested.