I

Chapter 12

She woke up to the cold world, in the same white bed, in the same white room; just like many times during the past week

She woke up to the cold world, in the same white bed, in the same white room; just like many times during the past week. She tried to remember anything, a dialogue, a sentence, a word. But nothing. For the entire week, nothing. No dreams, no voice. She tried to go back to sleep, but she wasn't sleepy at all. She gave e long sigh as she tried to put herself more comfortable in the white bed, task that was nearly impossible since her entire body ached; but at least the pain was getting better.

She wondered what was worse: being there or in Besaid. If she was in Besaid, she wouldn't be in constant pain and she could get up and walk around. On the other hand, being in Besaid almost lead her to suicide; the routine, the people... "No. Never again!"

Being there... well, she didn't have people asking for her help, and she knew that once she got out of there, the hospital routine would end; but she was getting tired of being always stuck to that bed, being in pain, with absolutely nothing to do except for thinking and sleeping. Everyday her guardians spent sometime with her, to give her strength and hope and a little chat... But even that was becoming part of the routine.

So, she spent her days sleeping and thinking... and hoping.

In fact, every time she woke up, she tried to remember anything, any dream she might have, hoping she would hear that voice again... It was so real that she was sure that it couldn't be just a dream... could it? "No" It was just... "Too real to be a dream". It was weird, she couldn't explain why she was so sure about the voice's existence; she just knew it was real, and she wanted to find exactly what it was. So, she kept sleeping, hoping the voice would come to her again. When not sleeping, she thought about the voice, about what it had said; and the more she thought about it, more confused she felt. First it was the fact that the voice didn't seemed like it wanted to talk to her; actually, the voice seemed as confused as her. Second, what was that "dream of the Faith" deal? "What does that mean?" She had no idea; and she had no idea about how to find out what was that: she tried to contact the voice again, with no success; she thought about talking to the Faith to ask them, but again, she didn't see any way to contact them. She was completely clueless about what to do, she only knew she had to find out more about that voice.

"Once I'm out of here... I'll go to a temple" That was her first step: a temple of Yevon. She wasn't sure if she could find any answers there since Sin was dead and the Faith didn't dream anymore, but she would try any idea she could remember.

"I'm telling you! There was someone else here!" He was sure he heard another voice; he was sure he talked to that voice...

"Impossible, boy. You heard the Faith; we are here because we're dreams of the Faith. And we're the only ones."

"But, wait. The Faith isn't a dream, and it talked to us! Why couldn't a normal person do the same?"

"Because the Faith knows we're here, and I'm assuming we are somewhere, that's how he can talk to us... telepathy, remember?

"Then, a normal person used telepathy too!" He wasn't sure if that was true, but he had to have something to believe, something that allowed him to talk to that pernon that no one but him seemed to hear.

"Impossible. You can only talk to someone that you know that exists. And no normal person knows of our... pseudo-existence"

"How can you be so sure about that?" He hated the way he always thought he was right; the way he thought that he was better than everyone.

"Because we died, remember? To the living people we're dead. Finished."

"But I know... I know what I heard! I talked to that voice! She was in Mi'hen, she thought I was a Faith!"

"She?"

"Yes!... It was a woman, or at least sounded like a woman...That means she's a real person! I mean, none of us has a voice tone, right? But she had! So she is real, and she talked to me!"

"I... don't know what to say. I still think it's impossible for us to hear any voice besides each other's voices"

"So you think I made this up? Why would I do it? Do you think I'm crazy? How could that be?" Now he was becoming desperate "Why can't you accept that I heard something? Why don't you believe in me at least once?"

"What do you mean?..."

"Come on! You... you never believed in me, you never supported in me... I..."

"You hate me"

Did he hate him? After all that happened, he wasn't sure...

"I... It wasn't supposed to be like this... I thought that once I was dead it would all end! But now I'm stuck here with you!"

"And it would be like this until the end of times. Get used to it."

"How can you say something like that?! It won't be until the "end of times"! It will be just until the Faith find a way to bring us back!" Anger was now filling his words and his thoughts, as he tried to have hope in the middle of that strange place... in the middle of absolutely nothing.

"If you say so..."

"Why... can you at least pretend you have hope?"

"Why should I have hope? Why should I want hope?"

"Because... it's the only thing we can have here..."

"Well, we have each other"

"Bah! Big deal! You never cared for me before!"

"Don't... don't say that. It's not true" Although none of them had a voice tone, there was a bit of sadness on those words.

"Oh, it's not true?! So how come you were always putting me down? Mocking me? The only person that cared about me was mom, and when you were around, even she used to leave me alone!"

"I'm sorry you look at things that way. But the truth is that I cared about you. You are my son, after all. All that mocking was to encourage you to try harder... You shouldn't remember, but when you were a little kid, you always used to give up things at the first try. I didn't want you to be like that for the rest of your life, you would become a looser..."

"You always said I was a looser... And you wanna know why I give up things on the first try? Because if I tried again, I would fail again, and you would joke about me again!"

"I didn't really mean that. Well, now that I look back, I must recognize that I must have mocked you too much... But, don't say I didn't care about you... But at least it worked."

"What worked?"

"You have become stronger. You survived quite well in Spira..."

"And why the hell did you send me to Spira, ha? If you never had attacked Zanarkand, nothing of this would have happened!"

"So, you would prefer you had never gone to Spira?"

"I..." Then, he realized that being in Spira was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He cursed himself for even thinking about living in Zanarkand forever. "I think... not..." How selfish was he being? He saved Spira; he saved lots and lots of lives; and more important, he saved her.

"Look, son, I wanted to give you a chance to live in the real world, even if just for a little time. I wanted you to get out of that perfect city,... to really live, you know?"

"I think... I... you're right." He hated to admit that his old man was right, but this time he really had to do it. "Being is Spira, knowing those people, knowing myself... it might be the best thing that had ever happened to me."

Thinking about that made his mind be filled with both sadness and happiness. Sadness, because he wished he was there, in Spira, with her... On the other hand, just the fact that the woman he loved was alive, made him feel extremely happy, proud... he made it; he saved her! Where was she right now? What was she doing? Did she missed him?...

"I guess... Thank you"

- What are you?

"W-what?" It was it! That voice again! "Do you hear it now?!"

- Hear what?

"Don't you?... What the?..." It seemed like his father's voice was absent from that "place".

- How many are you?

"I... ahm... two, I think... are you a real person?"

- Hmm... yes, I guess. What are you? Are you real?

"I'm not sure... part of me is real..."

- What does that mean?

"it means... It's kinda of a long story, you see?"

- I... have time...

"Well, to put it simple, see, I am like an aeon, I existed while someone summoned me. But now that Sin is dead, there is no one summoning me, so I don't really exist."

- But, I'm talking to you, right? - the feminine voice revealed fear.

"Well, yes. That's because part of me is still real."

- So, you were, like, a real person? You just need some one to summon you?

"No one can summon me now... Sin is dead, Yevon no longer summons, the Faith no longer dream... and, yes, I was once a real person in Spira. But I'll return... "

- If no one can summon you, how will you return?

"I don't know... But I will return, I just will."

End of Chapter 12

Wow, almost 3 weeks without posting a chapter... Shame on me!