A/N: I know I said this takes place after Eclipse but I just wanted to clarify that I meant a few years after. There will be chapters sometime in the future from Harley's point of view but for now I rather enjoyed writing from Paul's. Please Review!! :)

2) The Wolf In Me

She was beautiful, even her name was beautiful, Harley. She was also fragile, weak, and hurt because of me. I could never go near her again, I was suppose to protect her and her she is lying is a hospital, possibly dying. How is this happening, I don't fall in love, I have spent my whole live building up walls so this exact thing wouldn't happen. Just then I noticed I was not alone in my thoughts

Imprinting knows no rules, no limits, no boundaries, Paul. That's what we have been trying to tell you. At least it was Sam and I didn't have to open up all of my thoughts all over again, so this time I just let him see what happened at the hospital. Oh, well you have to go back. You can't stay away from her, you saw what it did to Quil.

Sam I am not safe for her. She is lying in the hospital right now, because of me, that best thing for her now is that I stay far away.

Paul you can't not blame yourself you have to have faith. You have seen the the magic that imprinting holds, if you were ever to start believing do it now. She needs you and you need her more than you are willing to admit.

SAM it is not going to happen so please just leave it alone. I am no good for her, I am no good for anyone. Please just leave it alone!

Sorry Paul, I'll leave you to your thoughts. I'll tell the rest of the pack not to phase until you are done, can you at least them me know when that will be?

Yeah I'll come tell you when I phase back, Thanks Sam.

No problem Paul, you might not realize but I understand better than you think. My imprinting wasn't exactly easy either. Good Luck.

Before I knew it I was alone again in my thoughts, the way I wanted it. I was running as hard as I could, as fast as I could, and as far away as I could. Hours later I realized I must have been at least 150 miles away, my paws ached and a pain riped at my lungs. I found a tree and collapsed underneath it, I know I told Sam I would tell him when I had phased back but it was then that I realized that I had no intention to.

My life would now go on as a wolf, I couldn't go back to the way I used to live, not knowing that she existed. I definitely couldn't go back to her, I could not hurt her anymore than I already had. Sure Sam was able to get over what he did to Emily but he never forgave himself, and he never will either. This was different though, Harley might die. The anger that rose within me at that thought was too much to bear, I lunged at a tree across from me causing it to split in half. The animal in me took over as I destroyed anything in my path, my anger was taking control. If only there was a bloodsucker around, today would be perfect. Hearing his stone skin rip apart under my claws, the ear defying screech as I tear it's head off, the sickly sweet scent as I burn it into nothingness.

Paul, where are you? I was so absorbed in my anger I didn't even notice Jared's thoughts join me.

I don't know, there aren't many road signs in the forest. I growled.

Jeez Paul relax! Sam sent me to check on you because we are all worried, when are you coming back? Just as he thought it he read what I was thinking all day. Oh, you're not. You won't be able to stay away, you know that, so why do this to yourself, to your friend's, to her.

The whole reason I am doing this is for her! I am not safe, this may be what I am but SHE didn't choose this. I am not weak I can fight imprinting, I never even wanted it in the first place. I knew my thought hurt him, he thought I was calling him weak but I really didn't care. Now that I knew what waited for me as a human, I was even more certain that I wanted wolf life. I didn't have to feel as much in this form, I could just let my anger rule me completely.

Fine Paul if that is what you want then I will let Sam know. We will miss you brother! Without another thought he phased back.

As Jared's thoughts faded out I caught the scent of a herd of elk, which made my stomach growl. My attack was so precise and effortless, the head buck was dead before he even knew what was happening. The taste wasn't as appealing as real food but it would suffice. Then I went back to my destruction of the forest, with thoughts of Harley never leaving me but instead driving my anger even farther outta me. This was how I spent most of my time, how long that may be I have know idea, as a wolf you tend to lose track of such trivial things. Every now and then one of the pack would try to contact me but stopped when I had learned to train my thoughts so that I wouldn't even think when they were phased.

The nights were the worst, I would lie under which every tree I could find and stare into the moon wishing for sleep, but it never came easy. Whenever I gave myself actual time to think the thoughts always drifted to her. The vision of her lying almost lifeless on the hospital bed was forever burned into my memory. Her long red hair spread beautifully across the pillow, her fair skin covered with freckles that glistened off the sunlight that shone through the window. I growled at myself, what the hell was happening to me? I don't have these thoughts about girls, girls have always been more of a conquest to me then anything else. Just the thought of considering her a conquest woke up the anger in me once again

This time I wrecked havoc on both boulders and trees. Clawing at anything and everything that dared to get in my way, after hours my paws were sore and bleeding. I collapsed and finally fell into a painful, restless sleep. In the morning I was woken up by thoughts that were not my own.

Paul come on we seriously need to talk, rather you realize it or not you have been gone for a whole week. The pack needs you man, you can't just walk away from your family.

Don't tell me what I can or can't do Jake. I don't care how long I have been gone and I didn't walk away from you guys, you still know where to find me! Without thinking I let my mind slip to thoughts of her, Jake caught on before I could stop them.

She is still in the coma Paul, she needs you too. Emily goes and visits her everyday because they still can't get a hold of any family.

She needs me? Are you serious? I am the last thing she needs, she is in that friggin coma because of me! I don't care anyways, I don't want this, I don't want her. Imprinting isn't for me, you all know that, I was perfectly happy before.

Happy, you call that Happy? Going out every night getting drunk and bringing home some poor, unsuspecting girl that you didn't even like just to make you feel better about yourself. That is not happy man, you were miserable, you are too afraid to do anything but live your life in anger because at least then you are in control. You need her and that scares you, so instead of fighting like a man you are running away.

Get the Hell out of here Jake before I come find where you are and tear you to pieces. You don't know what the hell you are talking about.

Oh yeah you're right I have no idea what it feels like. You don't think I wanted to run away and let my anger tear at me when Bella chose that leech over me? Or were you too full of yourself like always to even realize what was going on. Sam wanted me to try to talk to you but obviously you would rather wallow in your own self pity so see ya! With that he phased back and I was alone once again, only this time my anger was as strong as it has ever been.

How dare Jake say those things. He had no idea what he was talking about, I am not running away, I am protecting her, but I wasn't was I. Damn Jake for putting these thoughts in my head, damn him even more for being right. Although he wasn't right about everything, I didn't need her, I could survive with out her and I would.

The more I thought about everything the more I started to blame her, she made me do this. It was her that caused me to flee from my friends and to live like a coward away from the real world. I could go back, I would go back, but I wouldn't see her, I wanted nothing to do with her. Rather this was true or not I would not let myself realize. I was back to letting my anger rule, I was back in control the way that I liked to be.

I started running as fast and as hard as my paws against the wet forest floor would let me go. After what seemed like 8 hours I couldn't push myself anymore, I dropped to the ground and fell into a dreamless sleep. As soon as my eyelids opened I was already running, still letting my anger drive me. The sun started setting when I started to see the tree lines of Forks, I knew I was only 45 mins away from home so I pushed farther ignoring the pains shooting through my paws. I ran all the way to the clearing in front of Sam and Emily's house.

Just as I was about to phase back I realized that I had no clothes so I let out a big howl and waited for someone to come outside. Within seconds both Jake and Embry were standing on the porch, peering into the woods, directly to where I was. Embry was the one to talk, obviously Jake was still upset. "Paul is that you?" I howled again. "Well why don't you phase back and get in here?" Obviously he wasn't getting that I need clothes so I whined this time. "Oh, you need clothes don't you, hold on I'll be right back. He ran into the house with Jake sulking behind him.

Seconds later he was standing in front of me with a pair of basketball shorts and and a t-shirt, he laid the clothes in front of me. "Put these on and I'll meet you in the house. It's good to have you back man." He ran into the house and left me alone to change. I phased back and put on the clothes then walked slowly into the house, this should be interesting.

I walked into the kitchen and all eyes were on me. "Hey guys I'm back, did you miss me?" I tried to make a joke but no one was laughing they were all just glaring at me. " Ok guys I am sorry, especially to you Jake, I know I have been a real ass lately. Anger has always been my way of dealing with things and so when it failed me I ran and took it out on the only people who really cared. I don't expect you guys to forgive me anytime soon but could you please at least think about it."

"Paul we are just glad you are back. Sit down and enjoy this wonderful meal Emily made for us and we will discuss everything tomorrow. Next time though just remember you have us to talk to before you go on another one of your vacations." Sam chuckled a little at the end causing the tension in the air to slowly dissolve. I could tell that not everyone was going to let it go as easy but they would forget about it for the night just like Sam said to.

The taste of Emily's food was amazing, better than it had ever been. Probably because it had been over a week since I had any real food. Slowly conversations all around me slowly started to pick back up but no one talked directly to me. I didn't mind though I was too involved with the massive plate of lasagna in front of me. I was about to lift a huge fork full to my mouth when Emily started talking to me. "I am going to the hospital in the morning if you want to go with me." I started shaking as my anger fought once again to consume me.

"I am not going to the hospital. I didn't ask for her and I don't want her. Please leave it alone." My shaking was starting to die down but the murderous glares I got from all the guys who had imprinted didn't help.

"How the hell can you say that Paul? She needs you! Are you really so selfish that you would let her die when you may be the only one who can save her." Jared who never gets mad screamed at me.

"Listen to yourself Jared, she is in that bed because of me, how could I possibly save her? You had it easy with Kim, she wanted you just as much as you wanted her. You two would have been together even if it wasn't for imprinting. This is different, what is she doesn't want me, what if she has a whole other life, I know nothing about her. I can't just take that away from her."

"Well then that's her choice not yours. Yours is to make sure that she is happy and to be whatever she needs you to be. We both know you can't walk away from her, you can try but it will tear you apart. So stop being stubborn and trying to take on the world and just go see her." Sam spoke this time cause Jared, and all the others who had imprinted already left, unable to control their shaking.

"This is my life, therefore it's my choice! I am sorry I came here, sorry for thinking anyone would understand." With that I walked out the door and slammed it hard as I ran home, but I didn't phase. I couldn't, the other guys were phased and the last thing I wanted to do was have to share my thoughts with them. Five minutes later I was in my room and I collapsed onto my bed. Hopefully I wouldn't wake up until this nightmare was over.