Part III

Chapter 21

The morning light shined trough the dense forest and inside Marckus' tent, waking him up from the dreamless sleep

The morning light shined trough the dense forest and inside Marckus' tent, waking him up from the dreamless sleep. He got out of the tent and stretched his arms while yawning quietly. Celia was already gone to Bevelle, and Josh and Ject should be on their way to Bikanel. That other guy, Tidus, should still be snoring inside his own tent.

Normally, Marckus would be annoyed if someone from the group asked to stay out of some mission, but this time he was glad that Tidus decided to keep his distance.

"He's an idiot."

If there was something that Marckus hated, it was idiocy; he hated when people around him refused to see the truth, to see what's best for them. "Stupid people die fast, and they deserve it" That was why he wanted Tidus out of the way: if he didn't care about himself, then he couldn't rely on Tidus to do the tasks needed... Like, stealing an airship, or killing some random people. "No, this kid can't handle it." He remembered how Tidus reacted when he mentioned that he was going to take the lives of 5 more priests; the shock in Tidus' face was priceless. Ject didn't like the idea too much either, but at least he joined Josh for a "less horrible" task. But Tidus? No, he just decided that he wanted to stay out, that he wasn't going to unnecessarily kill people just like that. Idiot.

Marckus started to pack his things on a small bag. He didn't care about what Tidus or Ject thought, those aren't "unnecessary kills"; if it wasn't for this occasional assassinations that he had to do, he (just as Josh and Celia) would be dead for a long time. And he didn't want Ject and Tidus to die too, not just yet. Tidus might be an idiot, but idiots are easy to manipulate, he could be of some use... And Ject, he was acting like an idiot too, but maybe he would join them after all. But Tidus? He was hopeless. Marckus couldn't believe that he actually died for another person! Who, in his perfect sanity, would give up his life so that other person could live? Only an idiot. As much as he believed in team work, in the end it was every man for himself. But maybe it wasn't entirely Tidus' fault. It seemed that the Fayth had a word on that story too. According to Tidus, they had told him to help them to cease their dreaming. And the idiot accepted! "I wonder if he realised that he was signing a suicide pact... Damned be the Fayth!"

"Controlling our feelings for so long... Pushing us into self destruction... First with me, and now with Tidus. Fuck them all..."

Meeting Tidus reminded him of his own experience, hundreds of years ago, when he was dropped in Spira. The Fayth tried to play with him, like they did with Tidus; they asked him to help them destroy Sin, to cease their dreaming. Fortunately for him, he realised that once the Fayth stopped dreaming, he would cease his existence too. That was when he rebelled against them, he refused to give up his life for the Fayth; Sin was there because the people from Zanarkand agreed to become Fayth, and to summon Sin. It was their choice. Marckus wasn't going to offer his life for the mistakes of other people. They tried to convince him, tried to show his the path that they considered the right one,... "Tried to convince me to pay for their mistakes. Tried to make me dream their dreams, to convince me that it was the right thing to do..."

He closed his bag furiously and got up, picking a piece of paper on the way.

"They tried to make me scream their screams... to suffer what they were suffering."

Writing something on the paper, he walked closer to Tidus' tent, and left the paper there, in a place where he could see it.

"They must have thought I was an idiot..."

But he wasn't. He ran away from the Fayth, to his own life... well, sort of. His life consisted on running away from the Fayth, and finding ways to piss them off. It was annoying at first, but now he had great fun with it. "And having an idiot like Tidus was a promise of a great load of fun" he thought, walking away from the improvised camp with a small smile on his lips.

--

Inside his tent, Tidus did all but sleep. How could he? He was back on Spira for three days, so far, and things weren't working the way he thought they would. First point: he didn't see Yuna yet. He was in Spira for three whole days, and he hasn't met Yuna yet? How could that be? Nor Yuna, nor Wakka, Lulu, Rikku or Kimahry... or anyone else who didn't fit in the "insane" category. So, let's see, he woke up in Bevelle, met three other people from Zanarkand (his Zanarkand!), ran away from a group of guards for no apparent reason, and was now hidden somewhere in Macalania... Or the place that used to be the Macalania forest. It was different, lifeless. The trees didn't shine anymore, the ground at his feet was darker... even fiends seemed to avoid that place. It felt... creepy.

Or maybe it was just the whole situation that was making him become paranoid... Yeah, that must be it. Last night (when those three semi-unknown people finally found a spot to make a camp) Marckus told how he brought him and his old man back, and said some more things about the Fayth that got him extremely confused. The words, coming out of Marckus' mouth, seemed so weird, so surreal... He spent all night gathering his thoughts, trying to connect what Marckus had said to the reality.

Apparently, what Marckus did was guiding his soul and mind to a real body, so he could live in the real world. He remembered, some time ago (or, he thought it was some time, although it was hard to tell how time passed when he was trapped in that weird "after-non-life" place) the Fayth had told him the same things: that he had a soul and a mind, but lacked a real body. So, what Marckus did was simply get a body for him, and guide his soul and mind to the real world.

It all sounded perfect. Even the part when Marckus said that he had to kill some one in order to have a body for his soul and mind to occupy... That didn't bother him; after all, it was a priest, one of those priests who supported those who condemned him (along with Yuna and the rest of the guardians) to a death in Via Purifico. And seemed fair, pay one life so he could live, so he could have a chance to have a real life in the real world. And, if it wasn't for him, Sin would be probably still roaming in Spira, killing hundreds of people. No, it was selfish, but he didn't care.

But then, things began to look uglier. Apparently, Marckus' survival relied on killing people and taking over their bodies; that was how he survived for hundreds of years: when he was getting old, he killed some one young, and transferred his soul and mind to the new body. Then his new body would adjust to the physical shape of his original body, and he continued living. Or, whenever he thought he was in danger, he would kill some one, so that if he was killed, Josh or Celia would transfer his soul and mind to a new body (and the same went to Celia and Josh's survival). That was why he said that he had to kill more people now... They were in danger.

Happens that the Fayth noticed Marckus' murderer activities, and didn't like it. And adding to that, Marckus said that the Fayth also didn't like to have some of their "dreams" walking in the real world, and tried to hunt them down. So, according to what he said, they (himself, Ject, Marckus, Celia and Josh) were doomed to a live of running away from the Fayth. Fantastic. So, the plans for now were to stay out of sight of the Fayth; but to do that, there was something they had to do. Marckus somehow knew (he refused to tell how he found that) that he had been talking to a woman before he came back to Spira, and now that woman was also trying to find him and was probably working with the Fayth. So, their goal was to find the woman and make sure that she would stay out of the way between them and the Fayth. But then again, the solution to this didn't please him: she had to die. Simple as that. Seemed that the solution to all of Marckus' problems involved killing some one. "Murderer". He tried to argue, to make him see that they could just try to talk to the woman; but Marckus didn't change his mind. "I've seen it all before", he said, "We let them live, and then they just go tell the Fayth where we are. It's useless". What could he do? Marckus was right, if the Fayth caught them, they were dead; they couldn't take risks.

But even with the facts all shown, this whole situation still didn't make sense to him. Weren't supposed the Fayth be on his side? To help him? A Fayth said that he was going to get him (and Ject) a body, but now Marckus says that they are trying to kill him? What the hell is going on?!

Still lying on the floor of the tent, he gave a frustrated sigh, and decided that he didn't care. He just wanted to end this, to break every connection he had to Zanarkand and the Fayth, so he could live a normal life. It didn't matter how many people he had to kill, how many times he had to die. Even if he killed one hundred people,... that would be still a lot less than the amount of people that would die if Sin was there. "No, I shouldn't think like that..."

He gave another frustrated sigh.

"But do I really have a choice?!"

It was the only way... the only way to end this, to be able to return safely to his life, his friends,... and to Yuna. That thought comforted him; knowing that in the end, Yuna was there. Even if she didn't love him anymore, she would be there, and he could see her again, see that she was there, alive, touch her, even if only in a friendly hug...

"If she doesn't love anymore, if she had found someone else..."

What would he do? He didn't feel like he could ever be happy without Yuna on his side anymore. No, he couldn't think like that. She loved him when he left, so there was a chance that she would still love him now.

He kept thinking about her, how will it be when they were together again,... he would hold her close to him, to make sure that could never be separated again...

And finally, he was able to fall asleep.

End of Chapter 21