From a Whisper to a Scream

Peyton was not oblivious to the fact that Lucas Scott had been unusually eager to spend almost every waking minute with her. His behavior was odd and out of character considering the last she heard he was pining over trying to get Brooke back. Of course she knew the boy was conflicted, he always was. Clearly something else was up and she was not going to wait to find out what Lucas had planned up his sleeve.

A week passed and everything passed normally, Peyton hung out with Brooke when Brooke found time. She also spent time with Lucas. In between socializing she found herself holed up in a bathroom doing lines and letting the pain wash from her body. How long she could keep this up, she did not know. She was well aware of the consequences of what she was doing. In all reality stopping was harder than knowing she had to stop.

Lucas and Brooke both remained supportive, leaving her alone on days she felt too weak to even climb out of bed. They helped her through the school day when all she felt like doing was running away. Lucas held her in her darkest hours while she cried silently into his chest. Aching at the loss of Jake and her mom. Lucas feared most that all the pain and anguish she was carrying was eventually going to completely take over her body as if it already had not started. Everyday he could see a little piece of her slip away, her eyes more emotionless every time she blinked. Her body looked thinner with every passing day. He was losing her and he felt as if there was nothing he could do.

Peyton appreciated her friend's efforts though she felt they were wasted on her. All she did was distance herself even more. Close up into her shell and put up all of her defenses. Despite their comfort she felt alone and slowly disappearing into the depths of her life. No matter how hard they tried they just could not penetrate her walls. Little did she know that one little act would cause her to push away the one solid rock in her life. She was going to push away the one person who would always be there for her through thick and thin.

--

Peyton lay on her bed her mind slowly slipping and her eyes slowly closing. Sleep was beginning to overtake her, the darkness was slipping in. Her eyelids finally closed her chest rising and falling with every breath. She thought if only for a second she could fall asleep and never wake up an eternal coma in which she would never wake. Life would go on, people could move on, no longer would she be a burden on their lives.

Her wish though, would not come true. The sharp song of her phone snapped her eyes open. Groaning she rolled over to reach her phone eyes focusing on the name that flashed before her. A light smile played at her lips as she saw Lucas' name. It took only another second for her to answer.

"Hey Luke." she said into the receiver sounding slightly groggy.

Lucas chuckled at the other end. "Hey you." he replied. He too fell on his bed flipping through the final pages of the book he was reading. "You sound tired, I didn't wake you up did I?" She heard the sudden concern in his voice.

She played it off with a laugh, "Haha, no I was just resting my eyes, but that doesn't matter. I'm glad you called what's up?"

He paused in hesitation, this was the most cheerful he had heard her in a long time, he was completely taken aback by it. "Oh, well if you wanted to sleep it's no big deal."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "Luke, just spit it out. I wasn't sleeping now use your words."

Lucas joined in her laughed running his fingers furiously over his scalp. "I was just wondering if you wanted to chill today. Do whatever, go for a walk, get some ice cream. Something fun, just get away from everything tonight."

She picked absently at her comforter, "That sounds great Luke. Come on over then we'll go."

A smile tugged at both corners of their lips. "Alright, awesome. I'll see you in a few Peyton."

"Alright, bye Luke." She hit the end button rolling on to her back. She had a few minutes to kill, there was something she could do.

Lucas' pace to Peyton's house was slow and steady his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans. His thoughts aimlessly drifted back to their phone conversation only minutes previously. There had been a spark of happiness in her voice. Something he had not heard in a long time. Maybe just maybe she was beginning to breakthrough. He could only hope that this was true, that she was beginning to come around and be herself again. The Peyton he had once loved and still did.

He knocked once on her front door before gradually opening it. The house was unusually quiet in the absence of the blaring music from Peyton's room. That was out of character. There had not been one time when he had been over to her house that she did not have some form of music blasting through her speakers. Cautiously he made his way upstairs unknowingly that he was about to stumble upon something that would change everything.

"Peyton?" he called into her room.

"Hold on a second." she called though he did not from where.

He heard shuffling in the bathroom and he leaned over slightly to peak through the crack she had left open. His eyes widened at what he saw. Peyton was hunched over the sink crushing a white substance on to a cd that lay in her hands. He looked away closing his eyes trying to process what he had seen. Maybe he was just imagining things. Again he leaned over to peak through the crack only to find a worse sight. A rolled up piece of paper hung from her nose while she inhaled the white substance on the cd. Lucas finally pulled his eyes away suddenly feeling nauseous as he made his way back to her room.

His heart raced inside his chest. He definitely saw what he feared most something he had assumed but could never believe. Now here he was all the facts presented in front of him. He was not quite sure how to deal with it.

As he heard her emerge from the doorway he suddenly lifted his head smiling slightly. She looked so normal and so at ease. He was not sure how to handle it. How could she appear so normal?

"Hey you ready to go." Her voice was light and airy. Suddenly he remembered the day they had spent together and her trip to the bathroom. It all made sense now.

"What?" he raised his brows. "Oh yeah. Let's go." he said catching himself. He rose from the bed following the blonde downstairs and into the warm air of the outside.

As they walked conversation seemed dead. They talked of meaningless things, things they probably would not remember by morning. They talked about music and the new albums that were out. Peyton seemed completely oblivious to Lucas' distant behavior. He found it hard to find words to say to her. In the end he knew what he had to do. He had to confront her, even if it meant losing her. After a quick stop for ice cream on Lucas they made their way full circle ending up at Peyton's house.

She took his hand within hers dragging him upstairs to her room giggling as she did so. Lucas chuckled almost completely losing sight of what he had to do. She stood in front of him rising on to the balls of her feet, her lips moving closer to Lucas'. He too began to close the distance between them. Suddenly he paused taking a deep breath.

"Peyton we need to talk." he said firmly.

She opened her eyes rejection washing over her face then anger began to surface. "What do we need to talk about Lucas?"

"You." he replied sitting her down at the end of her bed.

She raised her brow at him folding her arms over her chest, "And what about me do we need to talk about?"

Lucas sighed deeply taking her hand in his. He dared not to break eye contact as he began. "I've been worried about you for a long time now." He paused trying to read the expression on Peyton's face as she rose her eyebrows. "And you've been changing, I know you're hurting and I wanted to believe you were dealing with these things in other ways. Then today I saw you snorting coke. Peyton, I never thought you would actually sink to that level. You're better than that Peyton. I'm worried about you and I want you to get better." he paused focusing on her face that shown only anger.

Immediately she stood up throwing her hands in the air, "Oh great Lucas! You care now! So what if I do drugs! It's how I handle the pain it makes it go away. You wouldn't understand Lucas. You haven't been my friend for months and now all of the sudden here you are and you're worried about me. That's great Luke. You know what just get out! Get out! Forget about what you saw and stop caring about me. I was doing fine long before you wanted to be apart of my life." Tears leaked from her eyes as she screamed turning her back to Lucas.

"Peyton please it's not like that at all." he pleaded.

"Just get out Lucas. Get the hell out." she replied her voice cold and laced with contempt.

He dipped his head shoving his hands back into his pockets stealing a glance at her as he departed from her room. He sighed leaving her alone not saying another room as he left. Peyton refused to look back at him collapsing in her chair crying silently.

--

"Hey." he said into the phone barely above a whisper. "I need to ask you a favor."