Title: Push It Aside
Rating: G I think, But PG to be safe.
Spoilers: Some for all things, Lazarus, and Redux II (yes, you're aloud to squeal with joy at that last one).
Disclaimer: If I was CC, I would have put this in the episode and not bother writing about it eleven years later and posting it on . I think that about clears things up.
Summary: What were Scully's thoughts in that missing scene in Detour? You know the one I'm talking about. What happened after Mulder fell asleep? I know this is one that is frequently touched upon, but hey, nothing wrong with one more version, right?
Author's Note: At the end.
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Having come back to the clearing after urinating off site, which wasn't exciting, Scully stood next to Mulder, glancing around again. And, as expected, nothing was to be seen or heard.
She looked down on her partner in quiet slumber. She kneeled down next to him and pulled her hand from the warmth of her pocket and rested it gently on his cheek.
Not exactly cold, but not warm either.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
He removed her hand and watched his chest, rising and falling with his beautiful breathing.
Beautiful?
Well, it was true; Mulder was a beautiful person. Or, more accurately, a beautiful man.
Her eyes returned to his face; his eyelashes twitching slightly in the deepness of sleep, his mouth closed with his full, lower lip pouting, an arrogant stand of hair resting on his forehead.
She'd had to deal with this before, having to work with deliciously good-looking men. Some of which she dated, but found out quickly that that never worked out. Jack, for one, and she didn't even want to touch on the subject of Daniel.
Of course, their looks never came close to Mulder's, and their minds…they were obsessive, involved, single-minded.
Mulder was those things too, but there was a difference; Dan and Jack were controlling; something which her current partner lacked. She didn't know how to describe that exactly, but knew it was true.
And he was…sensitive. He had lost things in his life. Loved ones, and possibly love itself. Jack was arrogant; he knew that he was better than everybody else. And Daniel was obviously selfish, practically rejecting his wife and daughter to chase after…
No, push that aside.
She took her finger and gently brushed the loose hair back to where it belonged.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
She remembered from a couple weeks ago, when she had her cancer, Mulder had told her that he had come into her hospital room, but didn't have the heart to wake her. She wondered if he had left immediately, or sat and watched her, possibly even talked to her.
Did he see her as she saw him during the vulnerability of sleep? Just listening to the even breathing, wondering about things?
But that wasn't fair; Mulder was not dying, she was.
She went back in time to those days, those dreadful days when she was lying in that hospital bed, preparing to knock on death's door.
She never wanted to see that look on Mulder's face again; the look of sheer loss and pain.
But there was something about those days, something that she had lost, and it wasn't her cancer.
I miss it. I miss his hugs, his hands, his tender words, his kisses…everything that stopped once I was cured. Why did he stop? And why did he even start? He knew he was losing me, did he think I needed it? Or maybe he needed it, but was holding back what he truly wanted. No! Don't let your mind wander like that! You're being silly, stop thinking up fantasies that couldn't possibly be. Push it aside!
But it was possible, and she knew it.
Did he stop because he thought I didn't want it anymore? Mulder, with his brilliantly deductive mind, has a habit of miss-guessing what I want. But, then again, I don't know what he wants either, or want to think I don't know.
She stood up, backing away slightly. She put her face in her hands and sighed. What was really going on here? She basically covered very random points in her life with Mulder, but what did it all mean? What did she want?
Maybe it's what I'm afraid of having. I can't keep pushing these things off to the side. But should I pursue it?
She looked up.
"Achoo!"
At the inhale of chilled air, it tickled the inner membrane of her nose, causing an unpleasant sneeze to follow.
She took the back of her hand and wiped her nose, feeling how cold it was. She glanced at Mulder, knowing that if she was chilled moving around, then he must be frozen lying there injured.
Sniffling some, she approached him. She sat down behind him, leaning up against the soggy, half-decayed log, getting ready to lift him and have him rest across her lap.
My legs will just fall asleep again, and then I'll have to get up and stretch them.
She sighed. There was a simple solution to that predicament, except…
Hell, there were no exceptions.
She lay down on her side, wrapping her arms around his mid-section, pressing her chest up against his back. She rested her forehead in his hair, feeling the warmth there.
Sighing with contentment, she relaxed against him, curling her legs up under his.
He stirred.
"Scully?" he groaned, his voice groggy, laden with sleep.
"Shh, Mulder, it's just me."
She heard him exhale. "Your breath tickled the back of my neck."
Her brow pursed, and started to pull back. "Sorry, I'll move…"
"No. It's okay, you're warm. Stay there."
She obeyed, resuming her previous position.
"What did I do to deserve this treatment?" he jested, his voice gaining it's health back, now lower, soft, and gravelly. "Did I miss the sleeping bag shower?"
She smiled, feeling the vibration of his words escaping his chest to tingle her hands.
"Yep, you just missed it. I'm naked, with the sleeping bag in my hand, and I was just about to take these stupid clothes off of you."
He chuckled. "You wouldn't happen to let me turn around to see it you're lying or not?"
"Nope."
They were silent for a time, just laying there, enjoying each other's warmth.
"Scully?"
"Hum?"
"Thanks."
Thanks? For what? What did I do that was so grandiose?
She was about to ask him, but his even breathing grazed her eardrum, telling he had drifted off again.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Inhale.
Exhale.
She relaxed next to him, matching his breathing. She had to push the thought aside for now, but saved the question for later, along with several others.
She decided all she could do was to wait for things to unfold.
Speaking of folds…
"My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold. Na na na na na na-my angel is the centerfold…" Scully muttered this quietly to herself, and waited for dawn.
End
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Author's note: Yes, this is the last chapter to this little tale. Sorry there isn't much closure, but is there ever on the X Files? I think I gave more than CC ever did (most of the time…). Anyway, I hope to make some more shorties like this with lots of UST or RST…? :) Thanks for reading and please review. Reviews are always nice . Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed. Luv you bunches!!!!. (Walks away whistling tune to Centerfold.)