Heey its kikaaat (: New chapter!
Ugh. Maybe life wasn't caught for love at first sight.
Maybe it was caught up for jerks at first sight.
My Lexus SC turned onto the freeway. Alice could run home, right?
I went back to the Cullen home and settled in my room. No one was home so they were probably hunting. Alice would have seen me ditch her ahead of time and probably continued on shopping.
I pulled out my Sidekick LX and played with it. I had no one else's numbers except for my family.
Maybe I needed to get a life.
I got out of the house and drove to a nearby theatre and bought tickets to a random movie; Get Smart.
Taking my seat in the center row, I placed my cup in the holder and put my popcorn on my lap.
"Is any one seated here?" a VERY cute guy asked me.
I shook my head and he took the seat next to me. The theatre was actually crowded and I didn't blame him for wanting the seat next to me; you could see the movie very well from that point.
The movie was very funny and I laughed freely even if there was a super cutie next to me.
As the movie credits rolled, I stood up from my seat and was getting ready to go when I felt a hand tap my shoulder- it was the cutie.
"Hey, I'm Alexander. I was just wandering around town and I'm not too accustomed around here…do you mind showing me around?" He asked with a gorgeous smile.
I couldn't help but grin at him and say, "No, come on, let's get started."
I showed him around the complex and finished the tour of Fork's only movie theatre.
"Well, there you have it," I said.
He ran his hands through his brown hair and said, "Well, I was just wondering…if you were free next Friday. You know, to get to know each other better…maybe we could go to another movie or grab dinner."
Nodding, I smiled at him.
I traded numbers with him, "See ya Friday!"
I got in my car and drove home to find all the lights on. I was about to touch the doorknob when the entrance door opened and a small pixie greeted me.
"Kat! So, how is he? Is he really good looking? I saw what happened and oh my gosh!"
My eyes widened. Well so much for privacy, I thought to myself.
Edward spoke up, "Trust me, privacy is never an option in this household." He chuckled and wrapped his arm around Bella. Without hesitation, she kissed him which grew into something even more.
I made a face which made Emmett laugh. Rolling my eyes, I said, "Em, will you please spare me the details? Alice, I had fun today but I'm tired. I'll see you guys in the morning."
Climbing the stairs to my room, I plopped on my bed. Silently, I stared at the ceiling. Perhaps, I was rewarded with an angel named Alexander; then again, maybe I wasn't.
I chuckled, I probably looked 16 but I was 15; a fifteen year old with a drivers' license.
Life never seemed to stay simple did it? At least my life wasn't. It's possibly the most complicated thing I've ever known.
I remember growing up in an orphanage with at least twenty other kids who never truly braced themselves to take on life. I barely had anything before and now I had everything.
A strange adjustment to life it may seem. But I've learned to cope. To cope with every single thing life throws at me.
I closed my eyes and lay back down, remembering a sad memory at the orphanage.
It was Christmas day and I had just turned ten. I shared a room with five other girls; I stayed away from them because they always treated me badly when ever I tried talking to them.
Running down the stairs from the room, I looked at the Christmas tree.
"Wait for a bit, Katherine," said our guardian, Ashley, "The kids will be down here in a moment too."
I sat at the sofa, waiting for the rest of the kids to come down. Suddenly, a crowd of kids ran down the wooden steps.
"Okay, kids! You guys can only grab your own presents. Don't take anybody else's." Melinda warned us.
We all ran to the tree and I somehow was able to grab my presents. I had the same amount every year; two: one from the orphanage and one from Santa.
But every year, my gift from Santa was always the wrong present. I usually wondered if he even read my letters.
I noticed that ever since I began to read, every kid in the story had a family. I lived in this orphanage, sure and this was my home. But all the other kids had friends while I stayed alone all the time. It just seemed that I never matched with anyone.
I sat down in a corner of the room and unwrapped my present from the orphanage. It was a small teddy bear with a bow on it. I hugged it and went to open my present from Santa.
Sighing, I took out the paper. It was a small wooden box and made a small sound when I opened it.
Tears began to form around my eyes. Once again, I didn't get the only gift that I've ever truly wanted. I was thankful that I got the small box but it wasn't what I had hoped for ever since I was a small girl; a family.
I wanted a family with a mom and a dad and an older brother. I wanted a group of people who cared for me and loved me.
I never had that. And I would never get it either.
My eyes watered as I reminisced that memory.
It was a sad memory and it was the day I had given up on the hope of getting a family. Yes, I lost hope on Christmas day. But I found it again five Christmases later.
"Katherine, wake up," A snotty voice asked me.
I opened my eyes and focused on the ugly figure in front of me; Karlyn.
I grunted and fell off my bed.
A high pitched laugh escaped her lips. I sighed and ignored her- which I had done for the past fourteen years, I might add.
I walked groggily down the stairs of the orphanage that had been my home since my parents died.
The Christmas tree was filled with useless presents from Santa. I snorted, if there were a Santa, I would be happy now.
I took my always two presents and opened them; the first one was a bottle of lotion while the second was a small bracelet.
Once again, no family.
I had lost all hope, I knew. But I just had a small feeling this Christmas that maybe I could be adopted or meet someone new.
I took my ripped jacket which was too small for my liking and headed outside.
The winter breeze hit in me in the face as I walked down the sidewalk; I could hear happy laughs emitting from a nearby home but I couldn't bear to look at happy faces.
Keeping my eyes on the ground, I walked slowly. I reached a nearby coffee shop and took out three dollars. I only had ten dollars which I found in an alley on my way home from school.
Getting a small drink, I secluded myself to a small table in the corner.
For some reason, I noticed a two people enter the coffee shop. One girl, in her teens, who was impossibly beautiful and a tall guy next to her entered.
I noticed everything about them, the way they moved, the way she spoke, the way he laughed. They seemed so perfect.
The girl turned around and noticed me staring at her. She just smiled and sat down on the seat next to me.
Extending her arm she said, "Hi, I'm Nessie."
My mind re-entered to the real world and exited my memories.
I noticed that Edward was seated on the sofa in my room.
"I saw everything, you know," he smirked.
Smartass, I commented
"I heard that too," he chuckled.
Well, I guess you know now. I'm a drama queen.
"Actually, I'd say you were pretty wrong. Hope wasn't lost when you didn't find your family. You lost yourself."
I raised my eyebrows.
"Kat, in a search to find a family, you completely forgot that your family always lies within your heart. Your mom and dad reside within you and as do we. You're a Cullen now and I know you're strong. But I just wanted to tell you that sometimes, what we're looking for is something we can't see," he smiled to himself.
I partially got his point but I had a feeling he was hiding something else.
He noticed my thoughts and said, "In shorter words, the ones residing in this house aren't the only people who love you."
He stood up and left. Very beautifully.
"I heard that too!" He screamed from down the hallway.
It was involuntary! Red-headed donkey, I smiled.
He probably heard it but I concentrated more on what Edward had said.
All those Christmases, I had hoped for a family and forgotten that I was once part of a family too. Maybe I couldn't see my biological parents but I could feel their love radiating within me.
I'll start this broken heart
I'll fix it up so it will work again
Better than before
Then I'll star in a mystery
A tragic tale of all that's yet to come
With fingers crossed there will be love
But I get carried away with every day
And every fantasy
The deeper the wound,
The harder I swoon and wish that that was me
So much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I'm getting used to it, you have to get used to it
I'll devise the best disguise
A brand new look and take them by surprise
They'll never guess what's not inside
I'll express myself with ease,
With confidence and character complete
With fingers crossed they'll talk to me
But I get carried away with every page
In every magazine
The cheaper the thrill
The deeper I fill my head with blasphemy
So much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
But I'm getting used to it, you have to get used to it
I'll destroy this useless heart
I'll fuck it up so it'll never beat again
Not just for me but for anyone
But I get carried away
With every phrase and made up malady
The longer I hide behind these lies,
The more I disintegrate
So much to say
But no words to convey
The loneliness building with each passing day
You never get used to it, you just have to live with it
Perhaps I'd never need to destroy my heart. I'd just need to restart it.
Life has come a long way, I thought to myself, and I've learned to live with loneliness but I've always loved to live in happiness.
So…tell us what you think?
Oh and the song is "Broken Heart" by Motion City Soundtrack. I suggest the acoustic version (:
Review please ;D