The more Bella called my name, the more relaxed I became. I leaned my strength into her more. She moaned and I would instantly let up, fearing that I had been too rough and hurt her. Each time she sighed and I felt her roll her eyes. She was frustrated with my restraint. She fidgeted underneath me, trying to pull me in closer, but I was afraid to go any further. I felt out of body, out of mind. I tried to distract myself to blank out my mind. I tried not to make eye contact. Meeting her eyes would push me too far.

She constantly pulled me away from my distractions and back to her eyes, burning into mine, forcing me to forget my previous worry and focus only on her.
I wanted to give her what she wanted, but she was so fragile. I felt in control of my thirst, of my disgusting animal instincts, but I began to feel other strange instincts urge me further over the edge. I pushed harder, kissed her without any restraint at all. She bit my lower lip and moaned my name. This wasn't hurting her at all. She wanted more and I could give her more. Little by little I let myself explore her further and each time, Bella gasped, pulled me closer, dug into me and breathed my name into my neck.

'Edward...', she breathed.

'Bella...', I softly growled. Just saying her name sent pleasure throughout me.

'Edward...I...bite me...change me...please', she whispered into my mouth, fighting to find words.

I froze.

She grabbed my face and held it in place as I pulled away. Her eyes held me still. They were swimming with tears and the tears began to overflow and run down her flushed cheeks.

'Bella...you...you don't know what you're saying.'

She pulled my lips to hers, tracing them with her tongue, parting them with hers and breathing into me, her warm sweet breath.

'I know what I want. This is what I want. I want this forever...please. I trust you.'

Trust. She trusts me to do what? Not take her life? Stop quenching my thirst once I begin? No. I couldn't even trust myself. I've done it before with her, I've stopped, but barely. Her blood...the texture, so velvety, so thick. The taste...

'No....no Bella. I can't....I won't be able to stop. Not while were like this.'

Being connected with Bella like this has already pushed me close to the edge a few times. My human instincts that have newly come back to the surface, mixed with my desire to devour her, made her plea more appealing to me. I wasn't thinking clearly while we were entangled like this. In some way, I wanted it. I knew I wanted to be with her forever. I knew it would mean her changing into....this. It disgusted me to think of myself taking her soul, her mortality away from her. Being a newborn, she would murder out of blood lust. The high of the kill and the blood weighing heavily in her body would distract her from the impending shame and nausea that would hit when she finally realized what she had done, what she had become. I didn't want this for her. But her eyes bore into mine when she spoke. She wanted this so bad, so bad that it caused her physical and emotional pain.

'Bella...it doesn't have to be now. We can wait for another...'

'We've... well, I'VE waited so long. I've wanted this from the moment we met. What better time than now? I want this to be my last human memory....forever.'

I began to kiss the tears off of her eyes and her cheeks. Even her tears tasted sweet. She ran her hands through my hair and pulled me into her chest while sobs and gasps ripped through her.

'It causes me pain to be like this...to be human...with you. It doesn't feel right...'

I could feel her tears run into my hair. She felt so passionate about this and I felt so ashamed to be what I was. I wanted to give her this. I wanted to be the only one to give her everything...especially this. And I would.

'If I can't stop...' Pain rippled through my face as I reached her eyes with mine.

'You can, Edward.' The tears still flowing heavily through her thick lashes. But a smile reached the corners of her mouth as she said this.

I pulled her to me, sitting her in my lap. She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me closer. Her hands traced my face as we stared at each other. Her fingertips traced over my eyelids, down my cheeks, over my lips. My lips burned at her touch. My lips parted and I swirled my tongue around her finger, tasting her, feeling her warmth, swallowing down the fire that came from her skin. This fire felt amazing. She shivered as I let her finger go and began to run my hands through her long, curly chocolate brown hair.
Her hands ran up and down my back, over my shoulders and finally she rested them on my chest. My chest warmed immediately from her heat. I felt her blood pumping through her hands. I felt the thud from her in my chest. It felt like my own dead heart was beating again.

She leaned into me, softly moving her lips into mine. Her sweet breath filling my mouth, my throat, my entire body flowed with her breath.
I grabbed her waist and pulled her gently into me, and me into her. She moaned into my mouth as we moved together, both of our hands in each others hair, tugging gently.

She moved her lips to my left ear, breathing heavily into it, biting along its edge. My mouth was then on her jaw, moving downwards slowly to her warm, pulsing throat. She pulled my lips into her neck.

My eyes felt drowsy from the scent of her blood flowing through her neck, thudding so hard against my lips through her skin. I breathed her in deeply. I felt nothing but extreme pleasure. I felt no regret for what I was about to do. She wanted me to. She pulled my lips into her neck harder this time. She was now moaning out of control, pleading with me...

'Edward...please....I want it...' she gasped.

Her voice vibrated in her throat, sending me over the edge. I began to suck on her skin, lightly at first, but then hard enough for the blood to rise right under the thin layer of skin. And then I bit into her gently...

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Note -

* This is how I always envisioned Bella being changed. I always thought it would happen out of passion. *