Chapter Seven

Joanne's Middle Name

Once more Hermione was up before the sun. She wanted to leave the bed without waking Draco, and was very slow and careful removing the covers. She gazed upon her soon-to-be-husband, the rythym of his breaths before she took a longer shower enjoying the hot water beat on her muscles. She hurried once she was out to dress and padded barefoot to the kitchen to make breakfast. She would let Joanne sleep in since she planned on taking her shopping.

She smiled to herself as she flipped the scrambled eggs in the pan. This life felt normal, routine already. She liked that.

Draco and Joanne sat at the table with perfect timing. She slid the omelette's on each of their plates and filled their glasses with milk.

"How would you like to come shopping with me," She asked Joanne as she joined them.

"Yeah!"

"Good, you need school clothes," Draco said.

She grunted suddenly deflated. "That's no fun."

"I'll give you the money," he promised to Hermione.

She waved her hand dismissively. "I have plenty."

"So do I."

"Then there's no need for you to insist now, is there?"

He glared at her, and decided to change the subject. "You'll both need dresses."

Joanne beamed, but Hermione was confused. "Why?"

"A children's charity benefit."

"Miney's coming?"

Draco became quickly became interested in stabbing his eggs. "If she's staying with us when it comes."

"Oh, you're going to stay, won't you, Miney?

While Joanne gazed eagerly to her, Hermione spotted Draco winking slyly at her. "I'll see," she said and when Joanne looked away she winked back at him. She couldn't imagine waiting much longer to tell her that she was indeed staying. Indefinitely. She certainly wouldn't be upset. But still, she should have more time.

"I'm off to work," he announced. As per his routine he kissed his daughter goodbye giving a secret smile to Hermione.

She cleaned the table off while Joanne rushed to her bedroom for her trainers and jacket. Hurriedly Hermione washed up, but soon heard the television turned on, electronic sounds blasting through.

When she finished she grabbed her trainers from beside the door and pulled them on. They were worn, the white turned to gray, and the soles were undoing themselves from their seams. Another thing she had to shop for.

"Joanne, are you ready?"

She ran from the hallway in her shimmering silver jacket all smiles. "Ready!"

She took her hand and locked the door, but when she turned - "Oh!"

"Sorry, Hermione," Theo apologized holding her upright by her shoulders. "Sorry."

"Sorry," she said in return.

"Where are you going?"

"The mall. I have to buy some clothes since all of mine are in cinders, and Joanne needs some for school."

"Dresses too," Joanne reminded cheerfully.

"Dresses," she contested.

Theo nodded a bit absentmindedly. "Mind if I come too? I need some trainers."

Hermione glanced down to his feet and there she saw new black leather shoes. There wasn't even scuff marks on them. She looked up and smiled a bit abashed. She understood his motive. She would go along. "Okay."

Down to the sidewalk she idly she thought of the last time she went to the mall... It seemed so long ago... It was.

Not many people took several Floo networks to go out of the country for a day in the mall. Draco and Hermione did, however. Most Saturdays they went out to France where Draco would spend most of his childhood. It did have a deeper purpose, being out of the country in a Muggle mall, no one would find them there. It was difficult being secretive, but they relished it.

"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" 'What are those,' Draco asked in French. It was proper that they speak the language of the country they were in, though she was a bit jealous that Draco's fluency was so flawless that he didn't have a hint of his English accent. flawed

"Ce sont des ordinateurs. Ils sont utilisés pour la

communication et l'information." 'They're called coputers. They're used for communication, and information. A lof things.'

"Et ceux-là?" 'And those?'

"Lampes. Lumeire vrent d'eux." 'Lamps. Light comes from them.'

"Je me le demande aussi. Viens, on va les examiner.. Oh!" 'You don't say. Come, lets check them out. Oh!'

A little girl with blond pigtails was running towards them after her orange ball that bounced off of Hermione's foot.

Hermione picked it up and handed it to the little girl, smiling harmlessly at her parents over her head. "Ici." 'Here.'

"Merci," she thanked queitly before going back to her waiting parents.

"Je t'en prie." 'You're welcome.' She stood up taking Draco's hand and then caught the strange guise he was giving her. "Pardon?"

"Tu feras une bonne mère." 'You'll make a good mother.'

She blushed scarlet changing the subject. "Viens, je vais te montrer comment

marchent les lampes." 'Come, I'll show you how lamps work.'

Together the three of them hailed a cab to the nearest mall twenty minutes away. It was small, the center of attraction being a cheaply-made, over-used mechanical horse beside a rustic photo booth. They saved that for last, first visiting various shops for Hermione's new attire, and Joanne's dress.

Joanne tried on five while Theo kept his word buying new shoes next door. The first on Joanne was too frilly, the second too plain, the third didn't come in the right color, the fourth was too long, the fifth Hermione insisted was too short. What she didn't say that it was short enough that Draco would kill over.

The sixth was the charm. Joane came out of the stall twirling in a red frock that came to her shin. It avoided being plain by the sleeves layering over her shoulders.

"It looks beautiful on you..." Only there was something missing... She suddenly had a mischievous idea. "What a second." She searched around until she spotted a gold sash. Surely Draco would be a little peeved. She took it off a top to wrap it around the little Malfoy's waist tying it in a bow at the back.

"It's great, Miney!"

While she dressed Hermione paid joined soon by Theo with a bag swinging in his hand. He stared at the purchase being shoved into its own plastic bag catching the flash of color. He burst out laughing, "Draco's going to have a fit!"

She rolled her eyes. "Hasn't he forgotten his past?"

His scoff died nearly instantly. His prodding look staggered her. "You're not... Hermione anymore."

The accusation confused her. "What're you talking about?"

He opened his mouth to shut it something over her head catching his attention. He muttered, "Joanne," in way of explanation.

In a way of a true Slytherin he sent Joanne to the mechanical horse with a pocketful of change, and took Hermione to a nearby bench, close enough to watch her yet out of ear-shot.

He stared at the tile between his feet refusing to look at her. "What has Draco told you?"

"Everything except why he gave up his magic."

"You really aren't Hermione." There was a mix tone of amusement and sadness.

"Why do you keep saying that?" She was becoming flustered. Did he think she was someone else that had taken Polyjuice potion?

He gazed at her intensely. "Hermione would've found out the truth by now."

She felt herself blush. "That was a long time ago, Theo. We were all in danger. I know you remember."

He flinched. "I remember," he said taking her hand. "But that's who you were."

"No," she snapped wrenching her hand back feeling angry tears in her eyes. "That's who Harry and Ron were."

"Hermione -"

"No. I don't want to have this discussion."

"Stop it. Stop hiding."

"I'm not hiding."

"You left us!"

"So," she hissed quietly at him. "So I did. Thank you for throwing that in my face."

"Look, I've been a personal Healer - a doctor as he refers to me - for all of Joanne's life. She's like a daughter to me too. I won't let anything happen to her. I refuse to let you hurt her as you've hurt all of us."

"That's who you think I am?"

"That's who you've been."

She took her eyes off of him focusing on Joanne happily dropping more coins in the slot of the horses behind. Inside she screamed at herself for nearly crying. There was too much truth in the words for her liking.

"I'm sorry," he whispered close to her ear. "I love you, Hermione, but I love them too. It was hard when Luna left - "

Something jolted in her stomach, a sharp hook pulling her forward, stealing her breath. She was winded. "Luna?!"

"Yes."

"No, no, no." She faced her old, dear friend. The only brother she had left. "Draco said the woman was Muggle."

Theo paled recognizing that he divulged something he shouldn't have. "Oh."

"Oh?!"

"Shhh," he hushed her.

"How could he lie to me?!"

"She was your friend, Hermione, he probably didn't want you to be mad at her or him."

It was a crack in her newly healed heart. A crack that broke it apart. Shattered it. She began crying, tears running rivers down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything!"

"Why not? He apparently wasn't ever going to tell me. I feel so stupid."

"You are anything but stupid." He shook his head disgusted at himself. "I know this is hard on you, but before you leave again... Don't. You can stay with me. Don't leave Joanne so soon, give her time."

She didn't have time to gather herself before Joanne came running over.

"Miney, why are you crying? Miney?"

Blindly she touched the girls shoulder. "It's all right. It's okay."

Theo recognized her expression. It was all too familiar. "Hermione - "

"Later Theo. Come on Joanne, we're going home."

"What's wrong," Joanne asked.

"It's nothing. Nothing."

She didn't know what possessed her, but once they were outside, the cool breeze freezing her tears and stinging her eyes she asked, "Joanne, what's your middle name?"

"Luna."

The only reason Hermione didn't break apart then was because the girl holding her hand. She kept her afloat. Yet at the same time she was drowning. She was sure of it.

***

Hermione was able to stop crying before they reached Draco's flat. She told Joanne it was allergies which she accepted hesitantly. The girl was too smart for her own good, but kind enough to allow the excuse, she didn't even argue when she went voluntarily to bed without her usual story about her father.

Allowed to think without distractions Hermione was making more sense of things. Maybe all that lovely blond hair wasn't just Draco's, but some of Luna's, and the light blue in her eyes was from her silver-blue orbs. Maybe her perceptive nature is from her real mother. Maybe Hermione had been a fool longer than she thought.

It was against her better judgment, but she took some Fire Whiskey out of a top cabinet, and sat on the couch drinking it. The girl was in bed anyway, and she tended to sleep very well. Hermione solaced herself with those facts and that she wouldn't drink too much.

Draco came home smiling, but it vanished as he caught sight of the bottle in her hand.

"Hermione..."

"What," she inquired slowly.

"What in the hell are you thinking?" He seemed to come out of his revere and seized the half-empty bottle from her.

"It hurts too much."

"And this is how to deal with it," he hushed, his voice strained not to yell, but the venom was there.

"I don't know what else to do."

"My daughter is here. Did you forget about that?"

Hermione didn't miss the facet that he called their supposed daughter his. She rightfully ignored it. She wasn't her mother. She had no claim to her. She might never have that. "She's fast asleep. That's my only bottle, okay? I just needed... Something."

"I don't want you here if you're going to drink! I'll get Theo next time. He'll keep an eye on both of you."

"Don't worry about that."

"What?"

She tightened her eyes trying not to cry. She did too much of that. "Theo offered me to stay there with him."

The anger faded. "What do you mean?"

"I'm going to stay with him."

"Why? I thought -"

She stood up, but couldn't do so as furiously as she wanted. She was too sad. "You lied to me. Luna, Draco? My friend Luna?"

His mouth parted, he ran a hand through his hair, he let out an audible amount of air that was either a gasp or he was as winded as she was when she heard the news. He paced back and forth until he was in front of her like before. He let his hand drop. "I should murder Theo."

"Don't. He's the only one that's been honest with me." She croaked, "I should've known better. This wasn't meant to work. I can't be your wife, Draco, and I can't be her mother. I can't be a friend, or anything. I'm not that girl anymore. And I shouldn't have tried."

"We can work this out -"

"No we can't. We moved too fast. I wasn't here for three days before you asked me to marry you. I bonded with her too quickly, and now I know why. It wasn't just that she was your kid, she was my friend's kid. She was too familiar. You two were apart of the past I was longing for, but that past is what it is. The past."

"Don't do this, Hermione. Don't leave. You promised." He seemed desperate, and her heart, whatever piece it was, ached for him.

"I love her. I'm not going to leave her overnight. I'll warn her. I'll give her time. Then I'll be gone. I need to go back to my life."

"That wasn't a life. You weren't living."

"But I wasn't hurting."

"Then why were you drinking?"

"Once a year."

He glanced to the bottle in his hand. "I hurt you that much?"

She tried to smile, but it was pained. "You were always good at that."

His visage matched hers with perfection. "I wanted to tell you the truth. I was going to, but... It's a terrible excuse but I feared you'd leave. I knew you would. Hermione, when you're a shred away from losing someone you love... When you have nothing you'll do anything. I have all I need, more than I should want, but I do want you. I do love you. Please, don't leave me again. Don't let this end us."

She bit her lip indecisively. The pieces of her heart was begging for a reason to be put together, but how could she allow that? "Why isn't Luna here?"

"I told you, she didn't want Joanne."

"That doesn't sound like Luna..."

"We both made a mistake. It was a one night thing, we were both at a charity benefit. She found love and when she had Joanne she decided that it was better if I raised her. Joanne wouldn't miss what she didn't have, Luna was persistent on that. You can talk to Luna if you'd like."

"I..." She closed her eyes. "I don't know what to do. This is so... Messed up." She felt his warm soft hands on her cheeks, not wiping her tears, but touching them, drawing shiny designs on her face. It felt like there was a rug beneath her, pulling, threatening to throw her off with another secret or lie.

"Do you love me?"

She whimpered helplessly. She couldn't lie to him. Not the way he did to her. She brought it on herself. It was all her fault. "Yes. I do so much."

"Then we'll make this work. We'll find a way -"

"It hurts too much, Draco."

He touched the place her heart would be. It was beating furiously under his palm. "What will make it better? I'll do anything."

"You loved her, didn't you? Luna?"

"Why would you say that?"

"You gave her Luna's name."

"Out of respect. Luna was never going to be apart of Joanne's life, but Joanne deserves to have something of her mother, even if that's a middle name. I'm not sure I'll ever tell her such, but it'll be with her. I wanted to do as much good for her as I could under the circumstances."

She opened her eyes. Her pupils adjusted to how close he was. She didn't move though. She knew what would make her feel better. "I want to take Joanne to see Luna."

Draco tensed, his fingers slightly constricting her face. "Why?"

"I want Luna to see her daughter, and I want Joanne to see her mother. I need to give her this chance to step in."

"And that would make things better?"

"It wouldn't make anything better, Draco," she said disgustedly. "It would give me peace of mind to know that I did the right thing. I need to talk to her too. Her blessing is essential if this will work at all." She had to know if Luna was okay with it all. She couldn't go back and tell the truth to her friends about Draco, but she woudln't hide anything anymore. This was her chance to set things right.

"On one condition."

"Yes?"

"You meet her in a Muggle place. Luna knows that she doesn't know about the Wizarding world; she'll understand. And don't tell Joanne that she's her mother."

Hermione pried his hands from her. She leaned up kissing his cheek. "Thank you." As she lowered herself to the soles of her feet Draco followed his lips near her ear.

"Stay here?"

She sighed. She was weak when it came to his pleas. She didn't have the strength or the will to deny him. "I promised, but I swear to you Draco Malfoy that if you ever lie to me again -"

"Never," he interrupted her giving her a chaste kiss on the lips. "And I swear that if you Hermione Granger ever drink again -"

"I'll be sure that you'll break your promise to me before I break mine to you."

"Good."

A/N: A huge thanks goes out to Shandi Luaine for the French translations. Without her I would've had to rely on the electronic ones.