Chapter Eleven

The Hawthorne Wand

Hermione licked the flap of the envelope closed. Theo's brown owl Artemis held out his leg for her to tie it on, and she watched as he swooped out the open kitchen window. She pushed her empty plate to the side.

Theo came in fully dressed clicking a red switch on the coffee maker. "Did you sleep well?"

"Amazingly."

"Good."

"I'll sleep on the couch next time."

"Sleep wherever you want, Hermione. What letter did you send? Just curious. I don't care if you use my owl."

"A request for my former job to Mr. Shacklebolt. I don't think I'll be able to get it back, but maybe there's another position opened."

"What if there isn't?"

"I'll work in a bar."

Theo nodded not catching the meaning under her words. She didn't need a job, she would just go back to how her life was beforehand, using the word "life" loosely.

There was a pile of letters hidden inside of a desk drawer. There must have been a hundred of them, and each one of them said something similar. They all started out long, sometimes consisting of three to four pages worth. As time went on they got shorter, until there were none to be read.

Still... She kept them all.

Hermione,

Please come home, dear. We all miss you. This isn't necessary, they would want you to move on with your life. We don't blame you, you didn't do a thing wrong. Come home.

Love, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley

Hermione,

Stop being thick and come on home. If you don't we'll send dung bombs your way. Don't think we won't, we're stocked up on them.

George and Angelina Weasley

P.S. I'm sorry about George, but he's right. We will.

Hermione,

I miss you. I know every one else in the family is sending you letters so won't you listen? Stop being stubborn. Move on, it's what they would've wanted.

Your Friends, Ginny and Seamus

Hermione,

There seems to be an outbreak of Locomotorism. I hope they haven't effected you!

Yours, Luna

Hermione,

We all miss them, Hermione. They wouldn't have wanted this. Come home. I think Ginny sold your house, but you can live with me if you want. Hannah doesn't mind.

Neville and Hannah

Hermione never answered any of them. She didn't plan to. That world, the one where she was taken into when she was eleven didn't exist to her anymore.

After Theo's overly-large cup of coffee they went to Draco's where once Hermione stepped through the door she was attacked around her waist by something short and blond.

"Miney! Why did you leave?!"

Hermione stepped back rubbing her hair affectionately. "I'm sorry, Joanne..." She wished she could explain, but she was only a child and shouldn't have to hear such things, for instance how much her father was a lying, despicable ferret.

Over her head Draco winked. She glowered. "Mate, why don't you help Joanne wash up in the kitchen?"

He nodded knowingly steering Joanne to the kitchen only glancing back once to smile. Once they were through the archway Draco led Hermione out to the hallway slightly out of sight.

"What is it, Draco?" She tried to lean away but she felt the wall against her back keeping her from keeping any decent distance between them.

"When are you going to come to your senses and come home?"

"My home is in shambles, Malfoy."

He sneered, "don't call me by my surname. As you very well know it'll be yours soon."

She fished inside of her jeans pocket withdrawing the wedding set. There might as well have been a knife protruding from her chest, right where her heart was. "I don't need these anymore." She shoved them in his hand.

His features fell realizing finally that she was serious. "What... What are you going to do now?"

"Go back to the way things were." She thought about that and smiled. "I think I'll visit the Weasley's... I'll keep in touch with Luna. I'll improve that life a bit better."

"And us?"

She bit her lip. "A clean break is best. Better to heal."

"You don't believe that."

"I do."

He laughed, "say those two words in an alter. That's where I want to hear them. Not here, in the corridor. We can't survive this again Hermione. We need each other. You have to know that."

Hermione bent forward pointedly glimpsing inside of the flat. She jerked her head to Theo and Joanne at the sink playfully nudging each other. "You got along fine."

She jolted as he pushed her shoulders holding her to the wall. His face came so close to hers that their noses were touching, he was breathing through his like an enraged bull. She was expecting steam at any moment, and that thought would've been funny at any other moment.

"I didn't get along fine! You have no idea how much I missed you. I hate myself for what I did. For never coming after you. I'll have to deal with the consequences that dealt me, but I love Joanne more than anything. I love you more than anything. She got me through, and she'll do it time and time again because she's worth living for. But you, Hermione... Who do you have to live for?"

He could have done no better if he reached into her chest and twisted that knife. She tasted salt and knew that she was crying. "You're right," she choked, and for the sheer second that he looked hopeful she cried harder her body shaking. "You're right, I really don't have anything - anyone to live for. They're all dead." He flinched at the words remembering that night. She chose not to, not to remember his tears, and not to remember what he did. What she forgave him for. "Thank you for clearing that up."

"No, Hermione that's not what I meant -"

"And your wrong."

They both jumped turning to see Theo beside them.

"Theo," Hermione started but was interrupted by him.

"Even if you don't have Draco and Joanne, you have a lot of people that still care for you."

"I'm not sure that I do. I still haven't spoken to the Weasley's..."

"They'll forgive you, I'm sure. But even without them you have me. What am I to you, Hermione, chopped liver?"

She chuckled and elbowed Draco out of her way to hug her longtime friend. "I've missed you so much."

"We all missed you, Hermione." His lips touched her ear. "Give him a break. I think he's learned his lesson."

"I wish it was that easy..."

"Why can't it," asked Draco.

She turned to him. "I've spent my whole life relying on myself and Harry and Ron. Now I only have me. I won't rely on a liar."

"You have us," Theo said.

"Do I?"

"It's us that should question you," Draco shot.

Hermione stumbled. They were ganging up on her. She found that she couldn't breath, her count since last night lost.

Draco clasped the crook of her arm. "Let me show you something. Theo, watch our daughter."

Theo joined Joanne in the kitchen who appeared to have been stacking up dishes, cups, and silverware littering the counter. He went to her side nudging her once more as if he'd never left.

Draco didn't stop dragging her to his bedroom so she didn't see more than that. He left her by the door as he went to his desk. He wrenched open the topmost drawer and took out a long aged box, the black turned to a dusty gray. She came closer to look inside as he opened the lid. Lying inside was a nine inch Hawthorne wand.

"You still have it."

He felt the knobby wood and smiled. "Of course. I couldn't get rid of it. As you know we Wizards and Witches are quite attached to our wands."

"I know but... You gave it up."

"I understood you leaving, because I left too. Didn't you hang onto anything, Hermione?"

She thought of the pile of ashes. "Yes. Harry's wand and Ron's chess set."

"Then you understand."

"One strand you don't want to let go. It keeps you... Connected somehow because letting go is nearly impossible."

"Without the objects all you have is memories. Those are substantial, you can't hold them."

"You understand, but..." She touched his hand. "It doesn't change anything. You lied, Draco."

He returned the box to the drawer. "My wand isn't the only thing I've kept. He took out a silver key placing it in her palm. "I've kept something of yours too."

She flipped the key inspecting it. It seemed familiar like a word on the tip of your tongue. "I don't understand."

"Keep is the wrong word. I bought something of yours."

She thought hard. What did she put up for sale. Then it clicked. She didn't put anything up for sale, Ginny did. She handed over the papers and told her to sell it, or keep it if she liked. She remembered reading about it in the Daily Prophet, the historic building - her home - that went up for sale. She didn't find out who bought it, or if anyone ever did. Her unasked questions were answered anyhow.

"You bought my house?"

"It's not your house anymore, it's your museum."

She struggled to comprehend it. "My museum?"

He smiled and caressed her cheek. "You didn't think I'd let you give up everything, did you? I bought it weeks after you gave it to Ginny. Sweet girl she is. Made me pay over the asking price, mind you, but she let me have it nonetheless. Luna was the one who really fought for it, but relinquished control nicely. She gave me help setting it up, that's how..."

She nodded not needing to hear the rest. That was how the impossible pairing of Draco and Luna came to be. It was because of her more than she originally thought. She set up her own situation. Everything that went wrong was because of her. It was all her fault.

"Draco, I'm sorry..."

He cocked his head at this new change. She would have to clarify.

"I made a real mess of things. My leaving was a catalyst bringing you and Luna together. It's why Joanne exists - I'm not complaining, but it's because of me. I did this to myself. I made my own misery." She wiped her new tears. "Why in Merlin's pants do you want me, Draco? I'm a mess."

He grasped her face swiping his thumbs over her tears. "Shhh, love, don't do this to yourself. You're amazing, I don't have to tell you that, you know it. Do you think I'd want to be with you otherwise?"

She placed her hands over his. "I haven't been fair to you."

"Hermione, do you know that I couldn't blame you if you walked out now? I lied. I deserve the consequences. But I don't want you to leave. I could never want that. No more lies."

She nodded and smiled. "Can I see my museum?"

"I think a day off work is what the doctor will order. We'll all go. A family trip."