Chapter 4
I can't think. I don't know if it's because I'm still freaking out from the touch of Ryan's lips on my cheek or the fact that my boyfriend is right now on his way over. I'm trying to write my essay. Nothing's coming to me. Still. I've been trying to write this thing since Ryan left Saturday. It's Sunday night and I still have a blank document. The door to my room swings open. Seth's standing there. He looks half dead as he walks over and sits on my bed.
"What's wrong?" I ask more so because I'm nosy than because I care. He shrugs. Stupid. Now I really want to know what's got him looking like a zombie. You know the one's in the cheesy horror movies you can't help but watch. I particularly love them. Strange but I find them more interesting than one's that actually look real. Seth whines whenever I try to get him to watch one. Says something about poor lighting. I don't know and once again when it comes to my boyfriend I don't care. "What did you do all weekend? I tried calling." He sounds a little disappointed in me.
"I told you on Friday what I was doing and I did exactly that. I left the house once to go pick up something to eat last night." I sigh pulling my hand through my hair. He's shaking his head and I'm trying to force myself to at least write down a word to this stupid essay.
"You're lying." I'm not dumb. I know not to lie to him because yeah I might not do anything about him hitting me but I do like to prevent it as best as I possibly can.
"No, Seth. I'm really not." I roll my eyes. Bad idea. There's the stinging again. I'm praying to God that he doesn't want sex. I'm not in the mood, well truthfully I'm never in the mood for sex with Seth.
"Not tonight." I grumble picking my book up and opening it to the first chapter. My memory is fuzzy and I need to focus on this damn essay. Stupid teacher. Well, stupid hot teacher. I smile. Seth notices and asks why. I shrug and say because he's there. A total lie. Why I feel the need to lie to him and pretend I have any sort of affection towards him is beyond me.
"Get up, get dressed." He's standing up now. "Seth, I'm not going anywhere." I look up at him. "I'm hungry." Like I care? "But I'm not. I'm sure there's something in the kitchen." I look back down at my book and pretend to be interested. He's walking out the door. If he slams it then he's leaving. But he doesn't slam it. So now I'm sitting on my bed with my eyes shut tightly trying to keep my tears from escaping.
"You didn't say you had Thai last night." He walks into the room with a take-out carton in his hand. "You didn't ask." I sigh and I'm finally able to write the first word on my paper. My name. How silly can I get not even being able to put my name at the top of the page.
"Where's your head at?" Ryan's asks. I'm sitting in his classroom until the next bell rings.
"Everywhere. I mean my boyfriend is a total jerk and my mom is totally into herself oh and not to mention her rich boy toys." I bang my head against the cold desk. I don't know why I'm talking to him. I feel like I've known him for years. I haven't. Only a week. Now it's Monday and here I am heading into my second week of falling for my teacher which is also my second week of senior year and I have accomplished nothing.
"I didn't get your essay." He's flipping through papers. I lift my head off of the desk.
"Oh yeah about that. You see I tried to write it but nothing came out. NOTHING. I barely even wrote my name on the top of the paper." I'm pathetic.
"I wish I could extend your due date but I can't. How about this you get it in to me today before midnight and I'll take it." He's smiling.
"Thank you!" I cry and I'm about to jump up and hug him but that's not appropriate.
"Get to class." He says as the next bell rings. I say another thank you and hurry off.
I'm writing like crazy. Maybe all it took was to see my sexy teacher to make me be able to write my essay. I'm already past 500 words. Now all I have to do is print it and…Oh God. What did I just click? The document opened in front of me on the computer screen is now blank. My essay is gone. It's already 6.
I take a deep breath and text Ryan. He had given me his number before I left. I don't even know why he said it was a just in case type of thing. I asked if his wife read his messages. He said no.
Instead of texting back he's calling me. My heart drops. "Hello?" I answer a little shakily.
"What do you mean you lost your essay?" He sounds confused.
"I was just about to print it out and I hit some sort of button and now it's gone. Vanished." I'm pissed. Stupid computer. "Rewrite it." He says simply.
"Are you kidding me?!" I say a little too loudly but I'm in my bedroom so it doesn't matter.
"You have to have that essay in to me by tonight or you get a 0." If he wasn't so damn sexy I would totally be pissed at him right now. "Fine, fine. Can you come pick it up around 10?" I ask biting my lip. I can tell he's smiling. "I can." And now I'm busy writing again. Or typing. Whatever.
I call Seth. Mr. Cohen says he's sleeping. I just wanted to make sure he didn't stop by unexpectedly. I find it odd that he's sleeping and it's barely 7 yet, though. I ask why and he says he had a long day or something to that effect. Once again I only asked due to the fact I'm nosy not because I care. I've already admitted that I am a lousy girlfriend.
Finally at 10:15 my essay is printing out of the wireless printer on my desk. I take a deep breath and lean back on my bed pushing my laptop off my lap. I'm exhausted.
The doorbell rings and I'm not so exhausted anymore. I don't have to fake a smile around Ryan. It just comes naturally. He's standing with his hands in his pockets. Looking as gorgeous as ever.
"Finished?" He asks. I nod and hand him the stapled papers. "It deserves an A." I wink.
"I'm sure it does." He laughs. "Thank you, again." I hug him.
"I'll see you tomorrow." Now he's gone and my heart is racing. If I'm not careful than I'm pretty sure it might just jump out my damn throat.
"Why have you been in such a good mood?" Seth asks on the ride to school the next morning. I have to admit I probably have been smiling a little more than usual.
"Does there have to be a reason? Can't I just be happy?" I ask a little harshly. "Sure." Is all he says. I laugh a little. I'm looking forward to History. I can already tell I'm going to start liking school again.
"A plus." Ryan's handing back our essay. He gives me mine with a cute smile. I squeal a little. I'm known in this class already for my random outbursts. Usually involving me thinking I'm saying something in my head but actually speaking it out loud. So maybe that doesn't just happen in this class. It is possible my outbursts happen a lot. Okay, a lot is an understatement.
"Hey." Everyone's gone out of class. My most favorite part of the day. Seth's grown accustomed to me not meeting him by now. He's not smiling when he looks up at me from his laptop. He's been on it most of class only really standing up to pass out the essay papers.
"What's wrong?" I ask walking over to his desk. "Nothing, just had a late night. After school I get to go home and paint my sons room." He's rubbing his face now. He looks stressed. "You sure that's it?" I ask. Now it's my turn to do the prying.
"Yeah, I guess. I mean no, actually I'm dealing with my mom right now. She's a drunk and she's decided she needs my help." He's got his head in his hands.
"Your moms a drunk and mines a bitch. They almost go together." I try to make him smile. It works. "Thanks." He says to me. "For what?" I asked a little confused.
"For listening and not saying you're sorry." He smirks.
"Sorry doesn't help anything or anyone. It's just something people say when they don't have anything better to say. At that moment I happened to have something better to say." He's got his thumb rubbing up against his lip now. Oh God. I need to look away but I can't.
Then I do because there's a noise coming from the door. Standing in the doorway is who I am assuming is his wife. Tall, blonde, beautiful and not to mention her protruding stomach.
"Ryan." She's got a large smile on her face as she waddles over to her husband. The smile he gives her is sweet but fake. I can tell or at least I think I can tell. I should probably go. But something's making me stay there. He kisses the top of her head and they direct their attention to me.
"Marissa this is one of my student's Taylor, Taylor this is my wife Marissa." She seems nice. But I instantly hate her. Could be because I have feelings for her husband. Not like love feelings but attraction feelings. If that makes any sense whatsoever.
"It's nice to meet you. I should be getting to class, thank you Mr. Atwood for the help." I smile walking over and grabbing my books quickly. Before I exit the room I turn around and he's smiling at me. I half expected him to be kissing his wife or something.
Coming out of Ryan's class room I bump into my boyfriend. "Why are you always around that guy?" He questions. I don't understand why he even cares in the first place. "He's my teacher, Seth." I roll my eyes walking towards my locker with him trailing behind me.
"Yeah well I don't look at my teachers the way you look at him. Is there something going on between you two?" He asks grabbing my arm. He's got his fingers on the bruises and he's squeezing harder than usual. I shake my head. "Of course not!" I let out trying to fight my tears.
"Good, I'll meet you at his door everyday after first class then." He really doesn't trust me. Now I'm pissed. Not because he doesn't trust me but because I won't get to talk to Ryan after class anymore.
"Whatever." And he walks off.
Wednesday morning starts off terrible. I'm just wishing the day would go by quicker. Before we even get to school my boyfriends already striking me across my face. I don't even remember doing anything wrong. My cover up isn't helping this time. I figure I can lie and say I ran into something. It always seems to work. Or at least it does on everyone but Ryan. He's giving me a strange look all through class. I'm not paying attention and he's not making me. He's got this worried look in his eyes like he knows something is wrong.
The bell rings for the end of class and I'm packing my things up. It should take Seth at least a minute to get from his class to here so I walk up to Ryan's desk.
"So my boyfriend is jealous of you." I half laugh. He raises an eyebrow. "He thinks there is something going on between us and…there he is." I sigh heavily seeing him waiting for me at the door. I don't even let Ryan say anything I'm already running towards Seth. Seth seems pleased. Whatever.
We walk past Summer Roberts and I catch him watching her. Not my problem. You can tell he wants to be with her. I can give many reasons why no one should ever be with Seth Cohen. Maybe I should listen to my own advice.
I have a text. Seth's occupied with his locked so I check it. It's from Ryan asking what had just happened. I smile. He cares. I need to get a fucking grip for crying out loud! He's my teacher! I should not in any way be thinking about my history teacher in a sexual way. Or any way other than him being my teacher. I'm screwed.
I make sure Seth isn't paying attention when I text back. I'd rather not have him yell or snatch my phone away. I told him I would tell him later. After school. My house. Oh God. I did not just invite my teacher over to my house. And like that no less. I probably sound like I want to jump his bones or something. Okay maybe I do but that's not what I was going for when I texted him! But now, that doesn't sound so bad…NO! Get these thoughts out of your head! I scream at myself. I think I'm going insane. I'm currently taking a crash landing on the planet of insane. Uh, why can't my life just be normal? Hah, normal. I'd like to know what that feels like.