"Sick Call"
by Furor Scribendi
2008 Scribendi Productions
October 7th
Mahoro arose early, as she did every morning. Mahoro moved sluggishly, as she did every morning. Mahoro dressed herself slowly, as she did every morning. But no matter how she felt, whether she wanted another hour or two of sleep, she could not afford herself that luxury.
It was important to her that she present Suguru with a good impression every morning. Not only was she to be physically prepared for the day, but mentally prepared as well. She never wanted him to see her as though she had slept under a bus: hair all flyaway, a grumpy-looking face, tired and lethargic.
After splashing some water in her face and taking in a good, cleansing breath, she was ready. "It's time for another day of work!" As she left her room, she knocked on Suguru's door. "Time to get going," she called out, then headed downstairs to begin making breakfast and lunch for him.
Getting involved in her work, she had everything set and ready to go when she noticed no Suguru. She rolled her eyes. He must be sleeping in, thinking that it is Saturday. She headed upstairs and knocked on his door again. "Suguru, it's getting late and we don't want you to be tardy for another exciting day at school with all your friends."
She paused for a moment, but heard no response. She gingerly drifted the door open to see the room was still dark and Suguru in bed. Clicking on the light, she came over to him, finding that he was turned away. "Time to get up, sleepy head," she chirped as she rolled him onto his back. Suguru moaned.
She looked down at him with an unhappy face. Suguru appeared sick. His face was damp with sweat and his hair was all stringy with moisture. She knelt down and put her wrist on his forehead to feel his fever. "This is not good," she commented, as she arose and headed to the bathroom.
She came back with a digital thermometer, a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a tissue. As she neared Suguru, he broke into a racking cough, deep and throaty. When he spoke, it was not his voice at all, but a kind of demon frog.
"Mahoro, I…..I….fee…..feel……." then another spasm of coughing.
Mahoro began to wonder what he might have. A flu? A cold? The croup? It was hard to get the thermometer into him. He would either cough it out or gag on it. There are few things worse than feeling more miserable than you already are. Somehow, Mahoro was able to get a temperature from Suguru. She shook her head when she read the display. "38.4 C. You are definitely sick, Suguru."
He managed a weak smile. "I could have told you that," he croaked before he had another coughing fit. This one was so bad, he almost fell out of bed. "I just wish I knew how I got this."
Mahoro gave a wry smile. She had a strong idea where he got it. A couple of days earlier, she had chased Suguru in the night air. It started when she had to conk both Ryuga and Slash on the head for fighting with each other in the park. While she fed them and lectured them about living in harmony, Ryuga gave back to Suguru the copy of the ecchi book of Riho Asaoka he had confiscated from him earlier that day. It took Mahoro a good long time to chase Suguru down. He could have easily caught something during that pursuit.
"I will take care of you in a few minutes. There are some things I have to do first," she said to Suguru, as she wiped down the thermometer with the alcohol. Heading downstairs, she called the school to report the absence.
"That's a shame to hear," said the Attendance Officer. "He was in line for the Perfect Attendance Award for this year."
"As much as he may have wanted it, I do not think you want him keeling over in chemistry class," said Mahoro. "I hope the absence is just for today; otherwise I will call in tomorrow."
"I will make sure that Shikijo-sensei gets this message. You make certain he gets well."
"I will do my best. I also would like to get his homework assignments as well from everyone, if you please. Thank you." Hanging up the phone, Mahoro went into the kitchen to fix something for Suguru. Although she was not certain what he had, she could do some standard actions.
She reentered his room a bit later, carrying a tray. There was a glass of iced tea, some crackers, and a bowl of water with a face cloth in it. She placed the tray on his night stand, and then came over to help Suguru get seated upright. Once he was upright and no longer coughing, she started to wipe down his head with the face cloth.
Suguru closed his eyes. That felt really, really great. He did not realize how hot he was. When she put the rag on the back of his neck, it sent chills down his spine and he shook out of relief. "Ooooooh! Ahhhhhhh!" he commented. When that was all done, she gave him the glass of tea.
"Go ahead and drink that down, for starters," she said.
"But...but you don't know what I may have," he said, holding the glass. It did feel nice to grasp it, though, taking the edge off his body heat. Maybe I should just pour in on me, he thought.
"True, but I can find that out and we can also take some simple first steps. Push fluids, so you drink that. You also need something in you; the crackers will take care of that." Sitting at his computer, she turned it on and went to a general health page. As Suguru sipped, he watched as Mahoro tapped in some data, nodding the entire time.
She certainly is a fast typer, he thought, shivering, as another cold swallow eased his aching throat. After a few moments, she turned back around to face him.
"OK, it can be one of two things: Jergen's Myasthenia, a disease that causes parts of the body to fall off…"
"What?!" Suguru almost spilled his tea as Mahoro returned to the monitor.
"Hmmmm. Are you a 60-year old Middle European or been to South America lately?"
"No?"
"Then you have the flu with the croup. Hmm. Hmmmm. Hmmmmmmm. OK, I know what to do." She shut off the computer and came over to speak to him. He was slowly eating crackers between his coughing. "This is treated like any other flu, so it is the standard approach we have been doing: bed rest, pushing the fluids and keeping something in you at all times, like a clear soup for lunch. This also helps with the croup portion of it, where you need to breathe in hot fumes, like steam from a bath. This will break up the congestion and ease the coughing."
Suguru looked at her as he sipped and nibbled. "So, you want me to take a bath?"
"Yes, aside from making you feel better, it will help with the coughing. No cough medicine on this one. I will go out later to get some honey so we can spoon it into you and cut down on the throat irritation, but for now, this is what we will do." She helped Suguru out of bed and staggered him over to the bath, where she ran the hot water.
She left so he could get in and start to feel better. "I can't remember the last time I was this sick and…." He had a good cough to the point where it felt like he cracked a rib. He bent over, almost ready to pass out. It really hurt to cough. He stepped into the bath and had another fit. As he opened his eyes, he saw Mahoro standing there, ready to get into the bath with him.
Although it still bothered him when she did this, he felt too weak to resist. She came into the water and sat behind him, draping a towel over his head and lowering him close to the water. "I want you to breath in the vapors and dislodge that congestion."
This is definitely weird, he thought, as the steam was trapped beneath his towel canopy. He breathed in, but it was shallow. He felt Mahoro's arms wrapping about him.
"I know it might hurt you, but try to breathe in as deep as you can," she offered. It took a few tries to not cough up a lung, but he was able to do this. Between the warm water and Mahoro, he was feeling better. He also was feeling sleepy. Mahoro sensed this.
"Ahh, we will have no repeat of the first night here. Time to get you out of the tub and into bed." She helped him out and put him on a stool so he could dry himself off and she toweled down as well. When he was dressed, he was guided back to bed. Before he could lie down, Mahoro had him finish off another glass of tea.
He felt warm and cozy in bed. "You can go now, Mahoro. I think I want to take a nap." He closed his eyes. Then he opened his eyes to see Mahoro still standing there. "That's OK, Mahoro. You can go now. I want to take a nap."
"Suguru, you just did. It's nearly one o'clock."
"What?" He looked over to the clock to confirm the time. "But…but…you just got me into bed."
"Yes, almost four hours ago. I have some soup for you as your lunch." He sat himself up as Mahoro laid a tray across his lap. He had a bowl of chicken soup and some more crackers, plus another glass of tea. He stared at the lunch, not moving. "Is something wrong?" she asked.
"It's just that…." He glanced at the clock again. "I didn't dream. I closed my eyes, then I opened by eyes. It felt like no time passed at all."
"Perhaps I should take your temperature once again, before you eat." The thermometer went in and they waited, the beeping indicating that it had finished its testing. Mahoro took it out and read it. "37.7 C. You are still feverish, but an improvement from this morning. We may keep you home another day."
Suguru ate while Mahoro stood at the ready. When he was finished, she took the tray away. "Is there something else you would like? Should I read a story to you?"
Suguru pondered. "As nice as that sounds, I may not be able to really pay attention. It might be easier just to read the phone book instead." Then Suguru had a thought. "Do you want to tell me about yourself?"
Mahoro considered this for a moment. Was there anything really that interesting about her past? Suguru continued. "I mean, you don't have to talk about the battlefield, but what you did off of it, if you can or want to tell me."
"It's…it's not that. I mean…no one has really asked about what I used to do. Uh…..I remember one time; Vesper took over a hot springs that was in the mountains. I had never been to one before and it was just such a wonderful place. I soaked and soaked and soaked all night long. It was lovely to watch the stars twinkling in the night, hear the crickets chirping in the distance, observing the steam curling off the surface of the still waters. I even saw a shooting star streak across the sky…"
"Is that why you like to take long baths?" he asked.
"I think so. So when we had to go to the bathhouse in July, when the heater exploded, I was just so amazed at things. Although, to be honest, as much as I like the bathhouse, I enjoy the hot springs more. I think it is the outside location of it, that interesting mixture of hot water and cool weather. Some of the other people would step in for about 10 minutes and then head back out. How can you really relax in that short of a time?"
As she spoke, it dawned on Suguru that he really knew very little about Mahoro. He was aware of the basics, but none of the details. He would have to sit down with her and let her talk about herself. He knew that she felt it wasn't her place as the "maid" to do this, but she was more than a maid. She WAS family.
Suguru and Mahoro both noticed that his lunch was finished. She stood up. "Let me get that down to the sink and pour you another glass of tea. Remember…"
"…push those fluids," he smiled. He was feeling a bit better with Mahoro about.
Mahoro went into the kitchen to attend to the dishes and refill his glass when the doorbell rang. She opened the door and was shocked. Standing there was Shikijo, but she was wearing a Candy Striper outfit that was just a bit too small for her to wear and a bit too high in the skirt.
"I heard there was a patient ailing here, and Nurse Shikijo is at the ready! Where is the patient? Ah, yes, the BED! RheeOoooRheeOoooRheeOooo!" Before Mahoro could react, Shikijo blew right past her, sounding like an ambulance, and bolted up the stairs. Mahoro hurriedly shut the door and followed after her.
In the bedroom, Mahoro saw Shikijo holding Suguru close, who squirmed like a cat being clutched too tightly by an over-loving owner. "When I heard you were sick, I knew what had to be done. That is why Nurse Shikijo is here. You want to be nursed by me, don't you?" She stared into his eyes and Suguru shuddered.
Mahoro looked upset, her hair horns twitching, as Shikijo continued. "I know a lot about nursing people and I will personally nurse you back to health, even if I have to spend the entire night here with you. Wouldn't that be nice?"
"Shouldn't you be in school, teaching your class?" huffed Mahoro.
"Today was an early leave day, so I was able to get his homework assignments AND come over. I want to make certain that Suguru gets healthy, right?" She cozied up to Suguru, hugging him into her cleavage. Suguru's temperature shot up as the sweat was really pouring off of him. "I need you as healthy as possible," she cooed.
Mahoro came close to Shikijo, who was lost in her fantasies as she held Suguru bulldog-tight. "We have everything under control here, Shikijo-sensei!" Mahoro was getting those feelings inside of her whenever Shikijo was about, but she still had to be mannered. "I thank you for the homework assignments, but as to the rest of it…"
Shikijo broke her grasp and stood up to face Mahoro. Suguru, gasping for air, turned about to see that Shikijo had presented her stern to him, so he could catch a glimpse of her underwear, just peeking underneath the hem of her skirt. Suguru felt dizzy and weak.
"I'LL be the judge of what Suguru-kun needs," responded Shikijo, a finger in the air. "And what he needs is a woman of experience to help him. He needs to sweat the poisons out of him and I know ALL the ways to get people sweaty!" Shikijo pointed right at Mahoro to emphasize things.
"What he needs is bed rest," Mahoro said firmly.
"And I agree. He needs lots and lots of bed rest." Shikijo turned to Suguru, looking dazed and confused. "And I'll help you with that bed rest," she said, looming in on him. Suguru's eyes rolled up into his head. "If you need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, I can do that as well!" Shikijo moved in very close.
Mahoro placed a firm hand on her shoulder and spoke through gritted teeth. "Perhaps it would be best if you attended to his academic needs and leave the domestic needs to the domestic." She looked over to Suguru, who looked worse now than he had in the morning. "And I think he needs his temperature taken."
Before Mahoro could react, Shikijo pulled out her thermometer from her medical bag. "OK, open wide," she purred, opening her mouth to get him to open his. Suguru could only manage a small open and Shikijo slide the probe under his tongue slowly. "Good, that fit in so easily. Keep it in there for us." She used her free hand to push his jaw shut. "And when this is done, you're getting a sponge bath!" Suguru coughed out the thermometer and Mahoro caught it out of the air as it shot past her.
Shikijo dabbed at his brow. "It looks like you'll need a full soaking to get your temperature down." She began to unbutton his pajama top.
Mahoro needed a distraction, so she grabbed the bowl of water and brought it over. She waiting until she was almost atop her to call out, "This might be better." As Shikijo turned about, Mahoro was too close and got 'clumsy', so they crashed into each other and the contents of the bowl spilled all over Shikijo.
Mahoro looked 'horrified'. "Oh, my. Well, we can't have YOU getting sick," so she took Shikijo by the hand and led her into the guest room, grabbing a towel along the way. Shikijo protested the entire time, but to no avail. Mahoro stuffed the towel into her hands. "You can dry off in here and change into something else not as wet."
The door to the closet was opened and out came a huge armful of clothing, which was flung atop Shikijo, burying her under a mountain of garments. "I'm sure you can find an outfit to your liking in all that!" Mahoro commented pleasantly. Closing the door to the guest room, she scampered back to Suguru's room and locked that door behind her. She turned about to see that Suguru was not in his bed, but a series of damp footprints indicated he had left.
She cleaned up the bowl and rag, putting them safely to one side, then went to unlock the door, but it was stuck. She couldn't move the knob. She struggled for a few moments and finally yanked the door open, pulling Shikijo into the room, who was grasping the knob on the other side with equal force.
Shikijo tumbled past Mahoro, but did not lose her balance. Mahoro was surprised to see her dressed in a Santa outfit. Shikijo glared right back at her. "It was the only thing that fit," she snarled.
"Where are the pants?" stared Mahoro.
"This covers me enough." She yanked at the hem of her Santa top, trying to make it hide more, but it never would. Glancing about the room, she commented, "Where's Suguru?"
"I assume in the bathroom."
"Great!" smiled Shikijo. "Now I can give him that sponge bath! I must cool down his overheated body." And she bolted to the door.
"Oh, no, you don't. You need only contend yourself with his mind and nothing else!" responded Mahoro and she went for the door. They got to the frame at the same time and wedged in tightly. Both grunted and struggled to not only get through first, but to also push the other person back into the room.
"He's my student!" said Shikijo, trying to get her arms free.
"He's my master and I am committed to him body and soul!" growled Mahoro, trying to get some traction with her feet.
Shikijo thought she could slip out of the Santa top and began hunching her shoulders up and down to wriggle free. Mahoro was able to grab the door frame with one hand and attempted to pop herself out, amid much gasping and panting.
"He is mine to cure!" stated Shikijo, as she slid underneath.
"As he is my responsibility, I am the logical choice to cure him!" strained Mahoro. The door frame began to creak and groan against all the pressure pushing on it.
"You lack the proper training to cure him!" muttered Shikijo, glaring at Mahoro.
"And you lack the proper perspective to cure him!" Mahoro glared at Shikijo.
"Is everything OK?" They looked up to see Suguru standing to one side, watching them in the door. As he moved to one side, he was hit with a vicious coughing attack that drove him to his knees. Both of them looked on, unable to help Suguru as he couldn't stop hacking.
"Suguru!" they both yelled at the same time as they made a last, huge effort to get free. Mahoro planted a foot on the door frame and pushed hard, dislodging them both at the same time. Suguru stood up and turned to face them. Eyes agape, like a deer trapped in the headlights, he could only stand and stare as they both crashed into him, propelling him backwards and all of them down the stairs.
They tumbled and rolled, head over heels, topsy-turvy, smacking into the wall, slamming into the railing, colliding with each other, as they thumped and bumped all the way down, landing in a heap at the base. Mahoro got to the bottom first, on her face, her dress over her head. Shikijo landed on top of her, back to back, and then rolled over to the left. Suguru plummeted into both of them, somersaulted over and came to rest, spread-eagled, sliding across the floor. Everyone lay there for a moment, moaning and groaning.
"I think I lost a filling or bit my tongue," lisped Shikijo.
Suguru stared at the ceiling. "If this is the cure, I'd rather be sick," he lamented, as he had another coughing fit.
Mahoro gave a mournful exhale.
An hour later, all were sitting at the table, having soup. Mahoro had some tissue up her nose, to stanch the bleeding. Shikijo, dressed a bit more decently, sported a bandage on her forehead, attempting to cover a large lump. Suguru's head was covered with a towel, as he was breathing in the steam from the soup and spooning some down.
"I know my tongue isn't broken, but I can't taste the soup," mumbled Suguru.
"I can feel that it's warm, but I can't taste the soup," huffed Shikijo.
"It's a good recipe, but I can't taste the soup," concluded Mahoro.
They all sighed.
MAHORO'S SYSTEMS WILL CEASE TO FUNCTION IN 285 DAYS
End Notes
One thing that struck me about this series is how healthy everyone is. I mean, save for a sniffle or a sneeze, no one gets sick AT ALL! In fact, have you ever seen a medical doctor in this series? A dentist, a podiatrist, a chiropractor, a pediatrician? Anything?
Jergen's Myasthenia comes from an old Robert Klein comedy album, where he describes it as "a disease in which the nose mysteriously slides off the face."
Another issue I have is the conversions. I am used to inches and pounds and dollars and Fahrenheit, so when I have to do these change-overs to meters and yen, it gets a bit hectic. His temperature would be about 101.6 F the first time it is taken.
Some may wonder about the sometimes overly-formal language that I use. Part of that is due to my writing program. Like many people, there is an automatic grammar watchdog on my PC that looks at what you write, sending out the red squiggles or the green squiggles, to let you know that something is amiss with your writing. It gets hard to "talk" to the computer when you want the dialogue to go in a certain direction, even though the Grammar Police say that it is incorrect.
I mean, are you there with your copy of Strunk and White to make certain the grammar is proper, even when used improperly? Certainly, not me (not I?) And sometimes, it is harmonically correct, even if it is not grammatically proper.
About the story itself, I find, for my own satisfaction, that a purely silly story goes a long way. For those that read the Ninja Panty Bandit chapter in the manga, they know what I mean. It is a story that has absolutely no real bearing on the plotline.
I divide the stories into two broad categories: The "A" Tales and The "B" Tales. The "A" Tales is those that relate directly to her continued existence, like the fight with Ryuga in the anime/manga or, for me, tales like "Committed" and "The Exam".
The "B" Tales looks more at her day-to-day life and is not so life-and-death focused, so you see the more comical side, like my Cooking Shogun tales or this one. It's just a nice, funny, silly tale about their "normal" life. (Yeah, how normal can it REALLY be with a warrior android as a maid and a teacher who wants to give you "private" lessons?)
I also find that you can get more creative with the "B" Tales, as you are not constrained by a lot of rules and regulations of what you can and cannot do, and it allows for a great deal of poignancy that might get buried under or overlooked when you do the much more unflinching "A" Tales.