Chapter 18

"Okay so how do we do this?" I looked over at my best friend Summer Roberts and then down at the baby laying in front of us. "I don't know, do I look like I've changed a diaper before? Ew." She made a face that I tried not to laugh at.

"We have to do this, if Ryan comes home and his baby smells then he's going to be angry." I say. Summer grabs the diaper bag that Ryan had told us the Kingsly's diapers were in.

"Okay…is there a handbook in here?" Summer rummaged through the bag. "Summer! Baby's do not come with instructions." I glared at her. "They should. I think we're supposed to take the dirty diaper off first." No Duh!

"You do it." I smiled at her. "Put the gloves on and you do it, this is your boyfriends baby not mine!" She scoots back a little.

"No fair." I pouted taking the gloves. "Haven't you done this before?"

So you think I would having dated Ryan for 3 months now but no, this was the first time he's ever left me to watch Kingsly alone. Marissa was away doing some photo shoot that weekend so Ryan was stuck with baby duty which he in turn asked if Summer and I would watch Kingsly while he went out with some friends. I agreed being the amazing girlfriend that I am.

"Ryan's always changed him." I say scrunching my nose down at the baby who was just kicking his legs. I had to admit he was pretty cute. "Here goes nothing." I pulled the gloves on my hands.

Fifteen minutes later I was sitting on Ryan's couch holding a clean happy baby. I had put the diaper on wrong twice. I don't know how I managed it but I did. "See, Summer that wasn't so terrible." I smiled over at her.

"You act like you knew what you were doing." She plopped down on the couch next to me. "I managed. I don't think I could ever do this full time, though." I said looking down at the baby.

"You would if you had to." She said flipping through channels on Ryan's TV. I loved being at his place. He been living in it for about two months now. I spent more time over here than I did at my own house.

My mom had started dating this one guy so she was always wanting me to be out of the house when he was over which was almost every single night. She said I cramped her style. Oh and she didn't want them to think she was old because she has a 17 year old daughter. Newsflash, mother you are old! Of course I didn't say that to her face although I was very tempted.

Three diaper changes, 2 bottles and about a billion and one different screams Ryan come home. "He hates me, Ryan!" I said meeting Ryan at the front door with the screaming baby.

"He doesn't hate you." Ryan chuckled taking him out of my arms. The baby instantly stopped crying. Summer was sitting on the couch behind us laughing at me.

"See, he hates me." I pointed to the now silent baby. "I'm going to get going. I'll see you at school on Monday, Taylor." Summer got up from the couch and walked towards the front door. "Thanks, Summer." Ryan flashed her a smile.

"No problem. Bye!" She waved slipping out the door. "Was it so bad?" He asks as he walks towards the stairs.

"Why did you not think to teach me how to change his diaper before you left?" I folded my arms across my chest following him up and into the room Ryan had set up for when Kingsly was over. It wasn't often, but the room was here for whenever.

"Did you change it?" He asked laying him down in the crib. "Well yeah…but…" I pouted. He pulled me out of the room and turned the light off shutting the door slightly. "I'm sure it was fine." He laughed kissing my nose.

"Easy for you to say." I rolled my eyes at him. "You're so cute when you pout." He pulled me into his bedroom.

"How was your night?" I asked him pushing the door closed behind us. He turned the baby monitor on and took his shoes off. "I missed you." He said. "I asked how your night was and saying you miss me does not answer my question." I stood in front of him.

"My night was okay…like I said I missed you so it wasn't that great." He smiled putting his hands on either side of my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips.

"I missed you too." I laughed against his lips. Everything with Ryan had been perfect so far. Somehow the two of us had managed to not get caught. I'm not complaining or anything. The last thing I want now is to be away from Ryan. He's just all around amazing. I don't know how else I could really explain him or our relationship. Of course it was difficult not being able to really do anything out in public but I would much rather spend the night at Ryan's alone with him.

"Ry." I nudged his side. We had just fallen asleep. The baby was now crying. "Hmmm?" He groaned pulling me closer to him.

"No, Kingsly is crying." I sat up pulling away from him. He opened his eyes and rubbed the sleep out of them. "Oh? I didn't even hear…" He yawned. "Come on, let's go check on him." I swung my legs off of the bed.

"I have to be there when you check on him?" He asked me. "He's your baby not mine." I gave him a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Come on." He stumbled out of the room still half asleep.

"He's got a set of lungs on him." I commented once we reached his small room. It didn't have much personality just the essentials. Kingsly had never stayed over night before. Usually Ryan would just get him in the afternoons or all day Saturday. But he'd always go home with Marissa. Ryan had finally quieted him.

"Ryan…" I looked over at him as we excited the bedroom. "What?" He looked at me. "Do you regret the choice you made?" I chewed on my bottom lips waiting for his answer. He didn't say anything until we had reached his room.

"Not for a second." He pushed me up against the now closed door. "I thought you were tired." Our noses grazed.

"Sleep can wait…"

"Ryan this is totally not fair! I thought last night would only be a one night thing, you know? It was Friday…I wasn't going to say no but it's Saturday and I would rather spend time with you." I huffed following Ryan around his bedroom as he finished getting dressed.

"I'm only going to be gone for two hours tops." He didn't even look at me. "It's a good thing you're my boyfriend because otherwise I wouldn't be doing this." I sat down on the bed in a pout. "I'll make it up to you. Thank you." He pecked my lips.

"You better, by the way where exactly are you going?" I asked following him out of the bedroom now. "I told you…to visit my mom. I'll be back in two hours. You know…don't answer the door or the phone or…well you know everything." Of course I knew not to do all of those things. I wasn't dumb and I had been staying at his place since he got it. Well not every night but I was there a lot. His small house is five minutes from me so I leave my car at home. No need in parking it at his place and drawing attention.

"It's a wonder you aren't crying," I mumbled under my breath as I took Kingsly out of his crib. It was like on cue he started crying. "Great, just freaking great. Do you hate me that much?" I held him at arms length looking at him.

My cell phone rang just as I was feeding him a bottle. "Yeah?" I answered it not looking at the caller ID. "Hey." I didn't really recognize the voice. "Who is this?" I asked trying to hold Kingsly in one arm and balancing the phone with the other.

"Oliver Trask. You know your Lab Partner in History." How could I forget. "Oh yeah…how did you get my number?" Kingsly decided to take that moment to start crying again. "Is that a baby?" I heard Oliver ask.

"Yeah…what do you want, Oliver I'm a little busy." I say. "Just wondering if you were coming to my party tonight. You should really come." It was almost like he was begging me. "I'll have to think about it…now I really have to go." Truth was I could really use a night as a teenager. I love my life being with Ryan but sometimes I feel like I'm doing far too many adult things.

After I get off the phone I put the baby down for a nap and call Summer. "Sure, sounds good. I'll swing by Ryan's to pick you up?" Summer asked me on the phone. "Yeah." I bit down on my lower lip. Now all I had to do was tell Ryan where I was going.

"Hey." Ryan came home just minutes before he said he would be back. "Hi, uhm can I ask you something?" I fidgeted with my hands. I don't know why I was so nervous. I knew he wouldn't hurt me or yell. I just felt like I was betraying him.

"Anything." He stood up straight with his hands on his hips. "Well…that party I was wondering if you would mind if I went with Summer?" He frowned a little and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't care." He totally shut down on me after that moving past me and not speaking to me anymore the rest of the day.

"Ry, I'm leaving." I peaked my head in his door. He was sitting up in his bed watching TV. He just nodded at me. "Okay we are not going to do this! This isn't fair I let you go out last night." I walked into the room fully.

"Summer's waiting for you." He glanced up at me finally. I saw hurt in his eyes. This was not even close to being fair. I was not going to let him make me feel bad for wanting to go to a party. I hadn't done barely anything without him the past 3 months. I hid out at his place most of the time. I just wanted to get out for once.

"I'm just going to stay at my house tonight so don't wait up or anything." I glared at him before turning around and walking out the door. "Sounds good." That really set me off I was about to turn around and say something but "Just go, Taylor. Have fun." He sighed heavily. I hated leaving angry with him.

I got into Summer's car and slammed the door. "Whoa, what was that for?" She asked me. "Ryan, he's being all broody now because I'm going to this party. Stupid." I scowled crossing my arms over my chest and pretty much acting like a five year old.

"You came!" Summer and I walked into Oliver's pent house. The place was packed full of people. I didn't even know he knew all of these people because I sure didn't recognize any of the faces. "Yeah…we figured we'd drop by." I said feeling bored already. Now I knew why I didn't come to parties. They just weren't my thing.

"Great! Do you two want something to drink?" He asked us. Summer tapped my shoulder and said she'd find me later. I gave her a death glare for leaving me alone with this guy.

"Okay what is in this?" I choked out spitting the contents of the drink back in the plastic cup. He didn't respond instead he gave me a smile. Ugh, totally gross.

"I am not drinking that." I said pouring it down the drain. I suddenly found myself backed up against the counter with Oliver's hips on mine.

"Excuse me but what do you think you're doing exactly?" I widened my eyes trying to push him away. "You're beautiful." He touched my face. No, this is not what I wanted. "Leave me alone, Oliver." I tried pushing him away.

"You know you want this too, Taylor. I can see it in your face when you look at me." Okay this guy was delusional. All I expressed for this guy was disgust. Something about him just irked me. I couldn't exactly put my finger on it before. He then put his hands on my waist.

"Stop it, Oliver. I do not even remotely like you. I was being nice by coming tonight so will you please let me go so I can leave." I said through gritted teeth. He had his thumbs pressing hard against my hips. It felt all too familiar. I suddenly got flashes of Seth hitting me.

"LET GO OF ME!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"No." He growled in my ear. I couldn't get out of his grip.

Suddenly I saw Summer on the side of us. "Summer, help me!" I screamed over at me. She rushed over and had someone pull him off of me.

"Leave her alone you jerk!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd of people. As soon as we hit the cold air of outside I broke down.

"Come on, I'll take you to Ryan." Summer wrapped her arm around my shoulder. I shook with fear as I sat in Summer's car. This wasn't my idea of a good night.

Summer brought me up to Ryan's door. She knocked quickly. He was at the door now and I was in his arms. "What happened?" I heard him ask Summer. "I don't know exactly but had her pinned up against the counter not letting her go."

After Summer had left Ryan put me in the shower where I just stood there under the warm water letting it hit my skin. I was still shivering.

"Taylor." He spoke. I could hear the worry in his voice.

I just stood there my knees buckling. I couldn't stand any longer. I sat down pulling my legs up to my chest with the water still hitting me. I couldn't get the images out of my head. This hadn't happened in a long time. I had felt safe for the past few months now I feel in danger again. I didn't cry or make any noise I just sat there with the water hitting my skin. It was warm but I was cold and naked.

Ryan was sitting on his knees next to the tub. He was bathing me like a child but I wasn't moving or saying anything. I wasn't looking at him just at the tiled wall in front of me. I couldn't close my eyes. Too many different things to see when my eyes were closed.

"Taylor, you need to look at me. Please tell me what happened." Ryan had picked me up out of the shower. He helped me dress into some of his clothes.

"I…it…he…Ryan." I cried pulling him close to my body finally able to get some sort of words out. Ryan pulled the covers back and helped me get under them.

"Don't leave me…" I reached out for him and he crawled into the bed next to me. "Never." He kissed the top of my head and with his arms around me I was finally able to close my eyes.