"The Maiden and the Model"

by Furor Scribendi

2008 Scribendi Productions

March 13th

Mahoro sighed and shook her head. She still could not figure out how she got roped into this fiasco, but she had been played well by everyone. She had always known that Ryuga was cunning with his sword, but she did not know how cunning he was with his logic. She had been completely outclassed.

She stood patiently in line with what seemed to be absolutely every male in all of Hiryu. Shikijo-sensei was certainly right on that account. A quick scan of the line showed her to be the only female waiting, and, possibly, the only other female in the entire store.

Bashō Books was a substantial bookstore, but even they were overwhelmed by the sheer number of people. It was rumored they had ordered 300 copies of the books and they were already sold out. There was a desperate request sent out for additional copies, but there was uncertainty if they would arrive in time, as the actual hours for autographs were comparatively brief.

In fact, anything in regards to Riho Asaoka has been sold out. The table of photos had long since been picked clean and no item that even had a passing reference to her remained an orphan. The current items of interest were the posters promoting her book and the signing of them. They were being raffled off at the end of the day, for a mere 100 yen a chance, and people were buying whole forests of tickets, as she offered to sign those as well for the winner.

The line slowly moved forward. The book was in Mahoro's bag and she held the red signature ticket. Even though she had gotten there early, the crowd was tremendous. The way it snaked about the bookstore, she could not see Riho at all. There were a few people in the store actually not there for Riho, but they were a distinct minority.

They had to negotiate the large intestine of people, as the line went up and down the narrow aisles. The store was so crowded, it forced the manager to move the table to a far corner of the store. Once you were done, when you had your autograph, you were quickly escorted from the building and outside, where you could breathe the cool March air.

Fans were placed about the store to have some kind of air circulation about. Too many oxygen-breathers made for tough times. Several staff members were handing out bottles of water so people wouldn't pass out. Still, overall, people were acting in a rather civilized manner about the whole thing.

Maroho could hear bits and pieces of the many conversations surrounding her. Guys were talking about Riho as though they had actually met her, commenting about pictorials and layouts and centerfolds that they had seen. Then it eventually dawned on Mahoro: every person in this place, and that meant EVERY person, had seen Riho nude. Even she had stared at pictures of her. She, of course, was doing it for comparative purposes only, but every man in this store had gazed upon her with lewd thoughts and lurid fantasies that….Mahoro shook her head, trying to dislodge the notion, lest it burrow in deeper.

As the line turned the final corner, she caught a glimpse of Riho. Even though she was sitting down, she was much shorter than she imagined. The line was trying to be moved crisply, but the guys would still dawdle and gawk and leer, trying to squeeze some conversation from her.

As she got closer, one of Riho's many handlers asked for her autograph ticket. Mahoro was impressed with the level of security about here. Unless you had an excellent reason, you were not going to get too close to her. Once the ticket was taken, she had a rubber stamp applied to her hand of a tiger. When she was within about five people of her, Mahoro then got an excellent view of her.

She was a stunning beauty. The pictures in the magazines did not do her justice. She wore a rather demure outfit, certainly in stark contrast to her normal state of dress, or undress, as the case may be. It allowed one to see her figure, but she was not flaunting it about. She smiled prettily and signed book after book, making small talk. It was a rather capacious tome, certainly destined for the coffee table. Mahoro could not imagine having something like that out for all the guests to see.

When Mahoro got to the table, she withdrew the book from her bag and placed it in front of her. Riho paused for a moment to look at the book, and then up at her with an expression of curious uncertainty. Mahoro heard one person behind her comment. "Oh, my God, it's the banned book! 'On the Beach at Dawn'!" An electric buzz went through the line, everyone passing on the news down the way.

Riho smiled and continued to stare. When she spoke, it was such a lilting tone. "I am just curious as how you came in possession of this. This one was banned nearly everywhere. It was recently upgraded to a Four-A rarity rating. This was some of my best work, too, I might add. Even I don't have a copy of this one."

"It was a New Year's gift for my Master," Mahoro replied flatly. Riho smiled and picked up her pen. Mahoro could not contain herself any more; it had been building for hours and it popped out. "You know, dirty thoughts are bad." She didn't say it with any vindictiveness, more like a statement of fact. One of the guards reacted, but Riho waved him off, as though she was expecting this comment sooner or later.

Riho opened the book. "Oh, I couldn't agree more." Mahoro looked stunned as she continued. "We all have a special ability to do something very well." She tapped the book. "This is what I do well. The day will come when I cannot do this well anymore, so I must work as hard as I can now. Who shall I sign it for?" She gave a most alluring smile.

"Uh…Suguru Misato." Mahoro watched as she wrote in the book. Holding for a moment, Riho laid down the pen and got out her purse. Withdrawing some lipstick, she put it on. Puckering her lips, she bent down and kissed the page of the book. A gasp could be heard in the bookstore.

"She kissed the book!" "She kissed it?" "A book kissing?" It was as though the cicadas had come to town, so much buzzing could be heard.

"We'll give that a moment to dry, OK?" Picking up the pen again, she signed her name, and then added something else in smaller writing at the bottom of the page. "Please tell your Suguru-sama that he has a very understanding maid and that he should appreciate you more." Then she stood up.

"She stood up! She stood up!" More buzz shot through the store. Riho bowed politely to Mahoro, who returned the bow. The book was then handed to Mahoro.

"Thank you," said Mahoro. She placed the book in her bag and started to leave, keenly aware that everyone was staring at her as she was directed from the store. Once outside the bookstore, a balding man came up to her.

"I will give you 10,000 yen for that book!" he barked.

"It's…it's not for sale." Mahoro was surprised by the offer.

"25,000 yen. 50,000 yen. 75,000 yen. 100,000 yen!" Mahoro quickened her pace as the man called after her, raising the price with every request. He was eventually stopped by security, which gave Mahoro a chance to disappear. Calling upon the Sylpheed, she quickly soared home, away from the madness. So lost was she in her thoughts, it wasn't until the Vesper Building in Tokyo loomed before her that she realized she had gone too far. She had to stop slipping into her 'bo' face, she chastised herself.

Once back at home, she carried on as though nothing happened, although everything had happened. As she came in, Suguru was sitting on the couch, watching TV, as Minawa puttered about. Before he could speak, Mahoro went right to him, pointing a finger at his nose. "Dirty thoughts are bad, but I will allow you to look at this book for this evening ONLY. It then will be hidden away until it is time for college, when it will be sold at that point. You may look at it after dinner! And I am never to hear about this day ever again, not even in passing conversation!

"And if you think you can do something like this to me ever again, I will personally dismantle this house board by board until I find EVERY piece of ecchi you own! If you have to live in a tent until it is all completely discovered, I will do whatever it takes to get it done! I haven't forgotten about that wall trick you pulled, so I know you have a creative mind, but I have a determined mind to match yours!"

Mahoro's hair horns were flapping wildly, until it seemed that she might take flight with them. And the more Mahoro spoke, the closer she got to Suguru until he was almost burrowed into the couch cushions. The doorbell rang. "Minawa, will you get that, please? I am still speaking with Suguru!"

The door was opened and everyone came in. They stopped short when they saw Mahoro practically crushing Suguru into the frame of the couch. No one said a thing.

Mahoro then went bolt upright and turned to see everyone. A big smile crossed her face as she waved to all. "Welcome, everyone! Dinner will be ready in a little bit, so, please, head outside onto the veranda and enjoy the rest of the day." Suguru took this opportunity to escape from his grilling and almost crashed through the sliding glass door.

In the backyard, Suguru was then pumped for information by his friends. Minawa circulated with a tray of drinks.

Rin and Chizo spoke to each other. "I have never seen Mahoro so angry," started Rin, as she took a glass from the tray.

"From what I understand, she was fooled into doing this, so I would be angry as well," mused Chizo. "Mmmmmmm. She always makes such a lovely iced tea. I would half suspect she flies to India itself to pick the leaves fresh."

Miyuki sighed. "I just don't know what all the fuss is about."

"Must be a guy thing," said Rin.

Hamadi and Kawahara were more animated, standing on either side of Suguru. "Have you seen it yet? Have you? Have you? Have you?"

Suguru sighed and sagged. "No, and tonight will be the only time I will be allowed to do so. It's almost as if I can never keep a secret from her. She has some kind of radar or tracking or homing device on this matter. I was soundly beaten on this one."

Suguru stood up and began to walk about the yard, the guys in tow. "It would have been marvelous to see her and to smell her and to hear her; to be that close to her beauty." He sighed again as he thrust his hands into his pockets and kicked at an errant stone. "Everything is always just that far out of reach for me." He stuck out his arm to emphasize this point. The guys nodded and also sighed.

Evening slowly fell as wonderful smells emanated from the house. Mahoro went to the patio doors. "Dinner is served. Please come in." Everyone was greeted with a teriyaki beef dish and a miso soup.

"Excellent as always, Mahoro," applauded Chizo. "Even the chefs at the Teriyaki Gambit House can't hold a candle to you. It's this proper balance of all the ingredients that makes it…" Just then, the doorbell rang. Mahoro turned to the dinner guests.

"Please enjoy your dinner. I will get it." When she went to the door and opened it, her jaw dropped open.

"May I come in, please?"

Mahoro escorted in the guest.

"Who was it, Mahoro?" called out Suguru.

"Someone to see you."

He looked up to see…Riho Asoaka! He choked on a piece of beef and Kawahara tried to help him out, but his eyes were focused on her. Hamadi looked over and was stunned, his mouth agape. The girls all rose in unison at her.

"I hope I'm not disturbing anything," said Riho. "I did not mean to interrupt your dinner."

"Please, have something to eat," offered Mahoro. "We have enough for everyone." She escorted her to an open seat at the table.

"Just a small bit, thank you. I do have to watch my figure," she said. Minawa just looked out, with a total blank expression on her face, not really certain what to do.

The girls stared on in total amazement as Riho sat at the table. They had never seen anyone move with such grace and ease. Meanwhile, Suguru was almost purple, as Kawahara was completely useless in helping him. Riho got up, went behind Suguru, put her arms about him in a big hug and gave him the Heimlich Maneuver.

A chunk of beef popped out. She returned to her seat as if nothing had happened. Suguru collapsed to the table with equal parts of asphyxiation and wonderment. Kawahara was stunned that such a tiny person could do this and he felt like he should choke on something, so Riho would squeeze him.

Riho looked over to the girls, who were looking over at her. "You know, you all have excellent bone structure. You easily have what it takes to be a model, especially you." Riho pointed at Rin, who blushed.

Riho looked down at her portion of dinner and a glass of green tea before her and started to dine. Hamadi still gazed on in total silence as she dined. Although his chopsticks went from food to face, no food was picked up and it never made it into his mouth.

"We are so honored to have you here," said Mahoro, spryly bowing.

"You were the only woman who came by the store; I felt that I should at least come here to visit and meet the person behind the book." Riho pointed with her chopsticks to a panting Suguru. "I assume this is Suguru-kun?" Mahoro nodded.

Rin stared on. Visit? Miyuki stared on. Here? Chizo stared on. Only?

"This is such lovely teriyaki," commented Riho. "You have a firm hand in the kitchen. I see this is what you do very well."

"Riho. Riho. Riho." Suguru mumbled on. "She hugged me."

Minawa sat next to Riho and just looked at her. Riho looked back. Minawa spoke. "I don't know what all the fuss is about."

Riho looked back at Minawa and moved closer to her, whispering, "Neither do I."

Mahoro came up to her. "Will you be staying for dessert?"

She shook her head 'no'. "As much as I would like to, I have another book signing in Tokyo tomorrow and my handlers want me to get there as soon as possible so I can be ready for those crowds. Such is the price of fame. But I felt that I would be derelict in my duties not to drop in, even if it is for a few moments. A few tasty moments, I must add. Would I be asking too much of you if I may, please, have a little of this to take along with me?"

"I would be glad to do this for you." Mahoro bowed, and then went into the kitchen to prepare the meal.

Riho stood up, as did Kawahara and Hamadi, who banged his knee against the underside of the table. Suguru had to be helped to his feet, as he was still in a state of shock. Mahoro came back with a small tray of food, which was placed in a bag.

"I wish you could stay longer, but I understand the needs of your fans," said Mahoro, handing her the bag. "I did include a small dessert for you.

"Thank you, you are so kind, but there are two more things I need to do. Do you have a camera?" Minawa left to get the camera while Riho sat next to Suguru. "You need evidence, right, as no one will believe you."

Minawa had problems with the camera, so Hamadi took it from her and snapped off a couple of photos. With that done, Riho went into her purse and pulled out the lipstick. Putting it on, she then went to Kawahara, Hamadi and Suguru, planting a goodly kiss on their cheek. Each had a memento of the event, with a very colorful lip print. The girls stood in stark silence, overwhelmed by it all.

"Well," said Riho, with a touch of sadness in her voice. "It's time to go." All followed her to the door. Before she opened it, Riho turned about. "Thank you for a wonderful time," she said bowing

"Thank you for honoring us with your presence," replied Mahoro. Everyone bowed, although the guys, still in a state of massive shock, mumbled something and had to be prodded into bowing. Mahoro opened the door, where the steely-eyes chauffeur stood on the porch.

"Time to go," he said, gruffly. Riho sighed, and then left into the night. Everyone stayed at the door and watched her get into the limo. She turned to wave one last time before the capacious car swallowed her up and she disappeared into the night. All waved until the car was long out of sight, then they retreated into the house.

Back inside, the dishes were cleared from the table and it was wiped down while everyone else went into the front room.

"Get the camera! Get the camera! Get the camera!" hollered Hamadi. "Here is MY evidence. I'll never wash this cheek again!"

"I guess it will join other parts of his body," whispered Rin. Miyuki stifled a snicker.

Mahoro brought out the book and laid it on the table. Everyone stared at it with reverence and awe.

"Who would have thought such a simple publication could cause all this turmoil and consternation," mused Kawahara.

"Don't you feel kind of odd that WE are going to be looking at this?" offered Miyuki.

"Riho thought I could make it as a model," said Rin, in stunned appreciation.

"No one touches it!" said Suguru, who put out his arms to block anyone from getting close. Bolting out of the room, he came back in wearing a pair of cotton gloves. "I will be the one to turn the pages!" He delicately opened the front cover, gingerly handling it at the corners, to see where Riho had autographed it.

"Look!" pointed Hamadi. "She kissed the book as well. This IS something special."

"You may have driven it up to a Five-A rarity rating," said Chizo.

"Some man wanted to buy it from me for 200,000 yen," said Mahoro, as all turned to look at her with incredulity.

"SIX-A rarity rating," said Chizo.

"200,000?" Kawahara looked at the book, and then moved back. "Perhaps I am not worthy to gaze upon this."

"It's OK, OK? OK! Everybody, it's OK. Don't worry about a thing." Suguru opened the book and read the inscription out loud. "'To my dearest Suguru Misato, All my love and devotion, Riho Asaoka. P.S. Dirty thoughts ARE bad.' WHAT!??!"

MAHORO'S SYSTEMS WILL CEASE TO FUNCTION IN 130 DAYS.

End Notes

This was another of those stories that I wanted to wrap up quickly, but soon discovered that the arc took me, again, over three days (just as with the Cooking Shogun stories). It fits in with my philosophy to try and make every day interesting for Mahoro.

Bashō Books is named after one of Japan's greatest writers. Matsuo Bashō (1644-1694) was the, Matsuo Bashō most famous poet of the Edo period. During his lifetime, Bashō was renowned for his works in the collaborative haikai no renga form; today, he is recognized as a master of brief and clear haiku. He was born, however Matsuo Kinsaku, with Basho being a pen name.

At one time, I worked at Tower Books and was there for a Gary Larson book signing. Let me tell you how absolutely insane it was. The original idea for the signing had to be abandoned when we were overwhelmed. Every Gary Larson item was gone, gone, gone, but we were lucky to get a special shipment from the San Francisco store in time for things.

Still, madness did not even begin to cover things. Our concern, with any kind of autograph party, is that there will be some joker who wants to do more that just make small talk and perhaps even challenge said autographer/author. I went to a Chuck Jones signing and he basically signed things and you moved on.

Of course, when it feels like you have half the West Coast breathing down your neck and only a three hour or so window to make everyone happy, it does get a touch "assembly line".