Alanna hated that the sun was shining. The sky was a bright blue, only a few wispy clouds trailing across the horizon. She wanted it to be raining, pouring. Thunder and lightning and anger at the dead. Anger at Thom, for bringing Roger back. Anger at Roger, for being a better mage than her brother. Anger at Alex, for betraying Jon, betraying her.Anger at even the dead Roald for not disowning Roger once he was back, stripping him of titles and claim to the throne. Anger that Liam had to die, that she never got to say goodbye, tell him how much she loved him. Anger she hadn't saved Thom, hadn't called Si'cham earlier. Anger at George for not understanding, for being unable to understand, for not knowing when she wanted to be alone. At Jon for kissing her, for showing her how much he understood, how much he hurt too, for being willing to hurt with her.
A hand touched her arm, breaking the scowl off her face. Gary, looking more worn and haggard than he had in days, smiled wanly and indicated the seat beside her.
"Mind?" he asked, not caring to wait for her nod before sitting heavily. The chapel was just beginning to fill, people wearing dark mourning tunics and dresses as the murmured quietly. George had come the same time as Alanna though he sat with Myles, not wanting to upset her again. Coram and Rispah sat further in the back and Alanna could feel her servant's worried gaze coming back to rest on her frequently. Refusing to look at him, she stared at the mountains of candles illuminating the front of the chapel, refusing to look at the bodies that lay behind them. She had told Jon she couldn't speak, that if she did she would start crying and a knight of Tortall couldn't cry. Not like this, in front of so many people. She barely noticed when Jonathan stood up to speak, when Sir Gareth the Elder followed, when priests stood to carry the bodies down into the flickering depths of the castle to rest forever. She followed them numbly, steered by Gary's firm hand on her elbow and watched as the stone slab was placed over her brother's body. She hardly knew what she was doing by returning back to the chapel to sit in front of the candles again.