Reliving the Teens Chapter 11, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Reliving the Teens

Ch 12

Final Chapter

Well folks, we've made it to the end... this will be the last chapter for Reliving the Teens. Kinda bittersweet. This is the first fic I've finished (don't you DARE laugh Ash!) and I really like it.

Oh well... continue on

Just as a readers guide: in the flashback, the italicized parts are Kenshins story, and the not italicized are them speaking in the present. Just so you don't get confused.

Enjoy!

Kaoru sighed quietly and sat back on her heels, drawing the attention of the other woman in the room.

"What's wrong?"

She looked up to see Megumi sitting opposite her, brow furrowed and looking worried. "What's wrong?" The doctor repeated.

"I'm worried about Kenshin."

"He's fine."

The kendo instructor frowned, "I know that… but out in the woods, he just collapsed suddenly and…"

Megumi sighed and began wringing her hands, "most likely he was just overstressed Kaoru. Ken-san will wake up soon."

"I hope so."

Hiko and Kaoru walked down the dirt path, making the journey in complete silence as they neared the dojo. As they walked, Kenshin's unconscious body swayed slightly on Hiko's shoulder.

Kaoru glanced continuously at the redhead, doing it quickly enough so the man carrying him wouldn't notice. When they arrived at the dojo, the two paused in front of the gate before pushing it open and walking inside.

The first to notice their return was Yahiko, who had been practicing with his shinai under the watchful eye of Misao and Aoshi sitting nearby on the porch sipping tea and talking. He ran to Kaoru and Hiko, dropping the wooden sword. Yahiko took in the worry on Kaoru's face, the lack of expression on Hiko's and finally his friend and mentor's body slung over the large man's shoulder.

"W-what happened?"

Kaoru frowned, "go get Megumi, tell her to come right away."

"R-right!" The boy exclaimed, and then quickly ran past them and out of the yard.

Hiko walked across the yard to stand next to the porch and then gently pulled Kenshin off of his shoulder and laid him gently on the porch. "He should rest until that doctor comes," the man commented, taking off his cape, folding it and placing it under the boy's head.

"It's thanks to you he's alive, really," Kaoru whispered, tugging on her ponytail as she glanced at Kenshin.

Megumi shook her head, "that's not true. He was only unconscious. Ken-san would have recovered in a day or so."

"It's been three days, Megumi."

The doctor sighed. "It's Ken-san, he'll recover."

"Of course."

Two days later Kaoru quietly slid the door open to Kenshin's room and stepped inside, carefully balancing the tray in her hand. She closed the door, and slowly walked over to where the redhead was laying on the futon.

The woman kneeled beside him and set the food next to her. She had been bringing a tray of food to him every day since he had fainted, hoping he would wake and eat. So far, that hadn't happened.

He was still sleeping.

Kaoru sighed and leaned over the still form, pulling the blanket up over him. Then she moved her hand until it stilled above his hair, hesitating slightly before running her fingers gently through the flame-red strands, slowly undoing his ponytail. When the band fell out Kaoru lifted her hand and repeated the gentle action.

His hair was so soft, it always had been. Kenshin probably spent more time on it then most women did. But she liked it that way, she always had –ever since she had met him- especially the length.

The man groaned softly and turned onto his other side, trapping Kaoru's hand. She slowly and gently pulled the hand out, careful not to disturb him. Carefully, she drew his head onto her lap, and continued to trail her fingers through the hair that was now splayed to his side.

Suddenly she stopped the movement, noticing something different about his appearance. A few days earlier Misao had mentioned that the fourteen year old looked more childlike than the older Kenshin, and back then she had agreed, but now that childishness was goneHe looked more mature now, as if he were older with more worries and cares.

Kaoru removed her hand and gently traced the outline of his face, studying it closely. His eyes were closed, and looking closer, she noticed how long his eyelashes were- kind of like a girls. But, to her, it just made him more handsome.

The woman lightly gripped his chin with two finger, and gently turned his head so she could see the left side of his face, more specifically, the scar.

And there it was, right where it always had been. But, instead of the one score that marked the cheek of the teenager it now had both the horizontal and the vertical lines – forming the infamous cross-shaped scar.

She lightly traced it with her finger, running over it again and again, humming quietly to herself. So it was true, the rurouni was back. Kaoru paused and leaned over, the ends of her hair brushing his face.

However…

The teen gently pressed Kenshin's scarred cheek, and then narrowed her eyes, scrutinizing it carefully. To her eyes, although it was slightly dark in the room, it looked as if the scar had faded slightly- as if it wasn't as deep as before. She withdrew her hand, and returned it to stroking Kenshin's hair, lost in thought.

A few minutes later she reached down and gently shook the thin shoulder, softly calling his name, "Kenshin, Kenshin." She sighed when there was no answer and then rested her hands at her side. What now?

The man groaned softly and shifted position, his head moving on her lap while the flame-red bangs moved to cover his face, falling asleep again.

Kaoru sighed and slowly stood up, once again being careful not to wake Kenshin. She glanced down at the redhead for a long moment then exited the room quietly before padding down the hall.

The next morning the Kenshingumi plus Hiko were sitting on the porch, eating breakfast. Megumi had cooked everything so more was eaten then usual, and soon Sano and Yahiko fell to squabbling over the little that was left.

"Grow up, you two. You never fight over my cooking." Kaoru commented, slowly sipping her tea.

"That's cause most of your food isn't edible anyway," Yahiko mumbled in reply, speaking around his mouthful of food. Sano hit the boy on the back of the head, causing Yahiko to spit out all of his food. A few seconds later the two fell to squabbling again.

Megumi sighed, "and it's usually so quiet around here."

"Since when?" Misao commented, laughing. A glare from Kaoru quickly quieted her. Of course, throughout the entire argument, and conversation, Hiko quietly sat by, sipping his tea and privately wishing he had his sake.

After the food was gone, Sano ignored Yahiko's protests and turned to Megumi. This left Yahiko at a loss, so he began arguing over an abstract subject with Misao. They continued to disturb their companions until a quiet voice cut through the noise.

"Good morning."

Everyone turned staring towards the main door that opened onto the porch, and even the two "children" stopped yelling at each other.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru exclaimed, surprised and delighted at the same time.

The redhead turned bright violet eyes on her, and smiled. "Good morning Kaoru-san."

"Himura! You're awake!" Misao proclaimed loudly.

He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head, "Yes I am, sorry I slept so long." His gaze flickered around the circle at all of the faces, and then settled back on the teenage ninja. "Misao-chan, Aoshi-san, when did you get here?"

The two Oniwaban members glanced at each other, and back at Kenshin with confused looks that they barely managed to hide. "We arrived several days ago, Himura," Aoshi responded for the both of them.

"Ah, I see."

Now Yahiko spoke up, "How are you feeling Kenshin?"

The man blinked at him, "better, thank you Yahiko."

"You hungry, Kenshin? The fox cooked today, so there's ootori, rice balls, soup and a bunch of other stuff." Sano offered, holding out his nearly empty bowl.

Kaoru looked gloomy, slouching down in her seat.

The redhead looked pale all of a sudden, but forced a smile onto his face, "No, no thank you Sano." He paused as he rubbed his arm absently, "I think, I think I'll go take a bath."

"Alright," the rooster replied as he lowered the bowl and then resumed eating.

Kenshin nodded, then turned and slowly walked back to the doorway, disappearing inside the dojo.

"He's awake." Kaoru breathed softly, sighing in relief.

Megumi smiled, "yes, Ken-san is."

"The baka's probably dehydrated and hungry," Hiko declared, setting his plate on the ground and standing. "I'll go talk to him."

As the man followed Kenshin inside, Yahiko questioned, "Why did he change back? I mean, what happened to Battousai?"

"He told you not to call him that Yahiko," Kaoru snapped automatically, resting her chin in her hands.

The boy rolled his eyes.

"I'm not sure why, it was certainly sudden." The doctor commented thoughtfully, "I can't think of a way to explain it."

"Who cares!" Misao suddenly exclaimed. "Himura's back and that's what matters!"

All of the Kenshingumi voiced their agreement.

Kenshin sighed and sank further down into the steaming hot water. He hadn't taken a bath in a long time, which made this one very welcome.

"Kenshin!" A familiar gruff voice called from the other side of the door.

The redhead groaned softly and closed his eyes, "what Shishou?"

Hiko didn't answer, instead he slid open the door and stepped inside, uninvited. "Are you hiding in here?" He asked as he closed the door behind him.

"No," the deshi replied without moving or opening his eyes.

The man smirked, "sure you aren't."

"I'm not." Kenshin replied, opening his eyes to gaze at his shishou with a decidedly annoyed look.

"Maybe you're not hiding, but you are angry at something." Hiko observed, stepping up onto the raised floor while placing the clean gi and hakama he had brought beside the bath.

The redhead looked deadpan at Hiko. "Other than you?" he teased, tilting his head back. However, Hiko didn't take the bait and instead stayed silent, gazing stonily at the younger man. Finally Kenshin gave up and sighed, "it's just…" he paused, gathering his thoughts. "Usually I have a fairly good memory, but, I don't remember anything from the past week and a half." He frowned, looking upset.

"You've been asleep for six days."

Kenshin sat up surprised, "six days!"

Hiko nodded, "yes. But as I remember, you were out for a week and a half after the Shishio incident, or perhaps it was longer."

"So?" The redhead huffed, leaning back again with crossed arms.

The man sighed, this baka just never understood. "Tell me something boy."

"What?" Kenshin asked, raising his eyebrows hesitantly.

"How old are you?"

"Now? Thirty."

"How old were you when we met?"

"I wouldn't call that meeting, but seven."

"And when you left to join the Ishin Shishi?"

"Twelve."

Hiko continued to grill his thickheaded deshi, "how long ago did the Meji era start?"

"Close to twelve years."

"And when you started wandering?"

"Seventeen."

"How old is Kaoru?"

"Seventeen."

"The rooster?"

"Eighteen."

"The brat?"

"Other than me? Twelve."

"And yours truly?"

The redhead blinked and rubbed the back of his head, "fourty-ish?"

Hiko glared annoyedly at the younger man, "thanks, baka deshi."

"Welcome," Kenshin replied, grinning.

"Hnnn" the man commented, then said sternly, "do you understand the point I was making?"

Himura blinked, and tilted his head to one side, "you had a point?" He questioned cluelessly.

The glare increased in intensity, "yes, I did. My point was that even though you don't remember the last week and a half, you still remember the more important things."

"I guess you're right," the redhead acknowledged, sighing, and bowed his head.

"Of course I am." Hiko replied smartly, smirking.

Kenshin made a scoffing sound, then stood up in the bath and stepped up onto the floor. He liftedthe towel and began drying himself off.

"You're not saying 'this one' or putting 'that-something' after every sentence," the older man commented, carefully studying his student.

The redhead turned to look inquiringly at him, "why would I do that?"

Hiko sighed, sometimes the boy could be so dense, and such a stubborn idiot. But… "Your mask is down, it's gone."

"Oro?" Kenshin asked, even more confused now. Had shishou finally snapped?

The questionably sane master stared at the redhead. The man before him was no longer the rurouni everyone knew, but he wasn't the Battousai either, not even close to him. After thinking carefully, Hiko came to a startling conclusion.

Could it be…

"Kenshin?"

His deshi turned in the midst of drying his hair to look questioningly at him, "hmm? What?"

Hiko didn't reply or answer, he didn't have to. His conclusion was correct, however amazing it was. Because of what the tanuki had said to the fourteen year old hitokiri in the forest, because she had helped him open up and break his cold shell. Because of that importantinfluence, standing right in front of him was not the Rurouni, and was most definitely not the Battousai. He was simply Himura Kenshin, the man that he should have grown up to become in the first place.

"Shishou, are you all right?" The redhead asked, tying his hakama, wondering why the man had spaced out suddenly.

Seijuro blinked, then rubbed his eyes, "yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Kenshin asked worriedly, then continued in a rush, "because if you're sick, then I can go get Megumi-san, and she can,"

"I'm fine."

The redhead stared, then replied softly, "alright," and began pulling on his gi.

"Kenshin? Kenshin are you okay in there?" Kaoru's voice filtered through the door, sounding worried.

Both of the men started and turned towards the entrance.

Kenshin's voice came out shakily as he replied, "y-yes Kaoru-san. I'm fine thank you."

"Alright, but hurry up, okay?"

The redhead smiled slightly, "yes."

After her footsteps faded away, Kenshin went back to tying his gi, concentrating intently.

"You love her."

"Oro?" The younger mans head popped up to stare blankly at his shishou..

Seijuro's eyes narrowed and he pointed an accusing finger at the redhead. "Don't you 'oro' me. And don't you dare avoid what I said."

Kenshin's left hand unconsciously rose to absently rub his cheek. He didn't answer for a long time and finally Hiko opened his mouth to repeat the statement.

"Yes, maybe, I don't know," Kenshin whispered, continuing to rub the scar while gazing at the floor without really seeing it.

Suddenly Hiko realized what the man was thinking. "Have you told her? About that scar, and about Tomoe?"

The redhead slowly shook his head, "no, she doesn't need to know."

"Yes, she does." The older man declared, then quickly walked over to his deshi, grabbed the long, red ponytail and dragged him towards the door.

"Shishou!" Kenshin protested loudly, struggling to get free, "that hurts!"

Hiko's reply was cool and calm, "then cut your hair if you don't want me to do this again."

And with that, he kicked the bathroom doors open and threw Kenshin out into the yard.

Kaoru, who had been walking back to the dojo, turned when she heard the doors slam open in time to see the redhead fly towards her and land face first in the dirt.

"Kenshin!" The woman shouted and ran towards him, stopping to kneel beside him. "Kenhsin, are you alright?"

The man rolled over to his side, "oroooo…."

"Oh be quiet," Hiko scolded as he walked past them. "Wish I never heard that word," he muttered to himself.

Kaoru was helping Kenshin to sit up and then slowly stand, when Hiko shouted back to them from the dojo porch, "tell her baka, or I'll throw you again!"

The woman turned to the redhead who was now shakily standing. "Tell me what, Kenshin?"

"It's, it's nothing Kaoru-san. Nothing important." He replied quietly, and then slowly began walking across the yard towards the dojo, leaving Kaoru behind.

"Kenshin," she whispered, trying not to cry.

The next morning the woman woke up much earlier then usual, and walked quietly out of the dojo to sit down on the porch. How on earth did Kenshin supposedly get up this early every day?

She sighed, reflecting on the past afternoon. In that moment, he had been so close to tell her something, something important, a thing the redhead rarely took the opportunity to do so. From the way Hiko had demanded for Kenshin to share it with her, in such a violent way, it had been very important. And, by how Kenshin had refused to answer…

"Kaoru-san?"

The woman started and turned guiltily towards the door. When she saw who it was, the deer-in-the-headlights look faded into a smile. "Kenshin! What are you doing up so early?"

"I always get up this early Kaoru-san," he smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "an unfortunate habit installed in me by Shishou."

Kaoru blinked, "oh."

Kenshin quietly walked out form the doorway to sit down on the porch next to her, sighing softly, "Kaoru-san,"

"Yes?"

The redhead sighed and his hands curled into fists, "there's-there's something I need to tell you."

Kaoru stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue talking. If she stopped him now, he might never tell her what he was trying to say.

Meanwhile Kenshin had closed his eyes, struggling with himself. He had said the words to begin the story, but now- he wasn't sure if he could continue what he had already began. Did he give up on telling her, and risk losing the love of a woman he had true feelings for? Feelings he hadn't experienced since Tomoe? Or, did he actually tell her, and place another burden on her already heavily burdened shoulders? One of his long-standing burdens, one she didn't need to make her life harder.

"Kenshin?"

The redhead sighed and slowly opened his eyes. "Kaoru-san, the story I'm about to tell you… I've never told anyone this before. Katsura-san and Okami-san knew because they were there, they saw it happen. And shishou… well who knows how he did, but he found out." Kenshin paused, fighting the urge to turn and smile at her, but right now it was all the redhead could do to keep himself talking.

"Kenshin," Kaoru whispered softly, placing a hand lightly on his arm.

"Kaoru-san, this story… took place during the wars when I was a hitokiri, and it involves how I received this scar… and how I met the woman who would later become my wife… a woman named Tomoe."

"It began in 1864 when I turned fifteen. I had already been a hitokiri for a little less then three years, and my emotions and feelings were very much locked away, and my heart hardened. The assignment for that night was to kill a man named Shikura Jubeki, a policemen, who was supposed to have three bodyguards with him. I found Shikura walking home from a bar during a late hour, and after walking up to them I repeated the words I always told my victims. Even now they are burned into my memory, 'though I bear you no grudge, for the sake of the new era… you must die by my hand.'" The man sighed and rested his forehead in his hands. "I said those words so many times Kaoru-san, I killed so many people in those few years. Looking back…"

Kaoru moved her hand down his arm until she found his hand and gripped it tightly, reassuring him as much as she could.

"Never mind, I-I don't need to go into that right now. Well, after I said that, they turned around looking at me with wide eyes and pale faces. The older, more experienced bodyguard asked who I was, and I answered with my usual reply. All of them were surprised, perhaps frightened, so I took the advantage and rushed them. In three moves, I first disposed of my target, then the bodyguard who had spoken first."

"The last bodyguard, a young man, called out the names of his companions as they fell until I turned on him. He was barely able to block my sword as I rushed at him, and our blades pressed against each other. Mine was close to his neck, but he broke the standstill and separated us.

"We attacked each other, but he wasn't very good. It was obvious that I would win, though we exchanged blows a few times. Finally we stopped attacking and stood, waiting. Before he could move, I ryutsuisened him to the ground, but in the process he-" Kenshin sighed heavily, "he cut my cheek, giving me the vertical part of my scar. Afterwards I stood in shock for a few seconds. No one, no one I had met in the Ishin Shishi had ever been able to cut, or touch me."

"At the same time the man fell face first to the ground, bleeding heavily and near death. As I stood with my back to him the man began moaning and grunting. He whispered about how he didn't wish to die, and about a woman he was to marry, how he was going to finally be able to marry her, and how he would love her forever. I listened to him for awhile, then decided to put him out of his misery…"

The woman next to him in the present day gasped softly, pulling slightly away from him, an action Kenshin distantly noticed. "You mean, you…"

"Yes, yes I did. But, you have to understand… that night, it wasn't like any of my other kills. Those had all been fast, precise and mechanical. This time, he fought me; he had had such a strong will to live- unlike me who had lost that many years before. This man, he had made me fight harder than before, and had for once opened my mind and made me think."

There was silence between them until the redhead decided to continue, "after I killed him, the three clean-up men showed up. They were in charge of getting rid of the bodies, and of getting rid of the blood. We exchanged a few words, but I don't remember them now."

"I returned to the inn that served as our headquarters, then the next night I continued to kill, all in the name of "tenchuu," and for the dawn of the new era. Every time I returned to my room and washed my hands repeatedly, trying to rid myself of the blood that stained them-but it never came off, it just continued gathering."

"One night several weeks later I went to bar. Usually I didn't drink, Shishou drank enough for the both of us, and I still don't. Back then it tasted like odd, bitter- like blood, but for many nights I continued to go. One of those times I sat at a table having sake and noodles, when a woman walked in and over towards me She asked for a glass of chilled sake and sat behind me. After several glasses the woman stood, and at the same time most of the men did as well, leering."

"They claimed they wanted to pay for more cups of sake for her, but then after she refused their offers, one man grabbed her by the front of her kimono and yelled at her. All the other men grouped around them, watching expectantly. While their attention was on their friend and the woman, I rose from my seat, walked over and pressed the end of my sheath into the stomach of the man who was holding the woman. At first, he continued bragging to his friends, until the owner of the bar politely asked him to stop and then leave. He agreed after a long pause, and dropped the woman onto the ground where the owner caught her. When the man turned to leave, I quietly confronted him, saying that if he hadn't released her, he would have had to face me. Then I quietly and quickly left the bar, walking out onto the street."

"After that, I wandered around for awhile, thinking about how the taste of blood was stronger now, and how uptight I was, as well. Maybe I was sick back then, I don't know, but the main principle of Hiten is saving people- and I was sure that was what I was doing.

"I didn't know it, but two of the man had come after me. They hid in the dark alley next to a building, and then stepped out after I passed them. I killed the first man who ran at me, then turned to kill the second one when he shouted his companions name. But, he died before I could move- a sword was thrust through his mouth from behind. The man went down coughing blood and wheezing, and then a man appeared in front of me holding two swords. He named me then said I would not live long enough to go down in history. Before I knew it he attacked me, swinging chains at me that came out from the end of one of his swords- and was attached to the end of another."

"At first I dodged and weaved, but as I did so the chains wound around me, keeping my arms at my side. I was able to keep hold of my sword, but couldn't use it. When I looked up, the man, a shadow assassin, was perched on the roof, holding the chains tightly, and a sword, in his hands. He readied himself to attack, but I gripped the chains near the end of the hilt of the sword in the ground, and pulled as hard as I could. A few seconds later, the sword slowly came out of the ground, and as he lunged at me I grabbed the hilt of the sword and leapt up to meet him. Just as the assassin lowered his sword, I raised mine and was able to get in the first blow- which turned out to be the death blow. The man fell to the ground dead a few seconds later before I landed with my back to all those bodies, the chains lying at my feet."

"Then I heard someone come to a stop behind me and I turned to see the girl from the bar standing there, staring at me. I panicked, realizing that she had seen me kill- had seen Battousai kill, of whose existence no one knew of, or was supposed to know of. Gripping my sword, I readied myself to kill her… but then she spoke. She said that she had followed me, to thank me. And then, she said something that I've always remembered, "they always say that at a tragic scene a rain of blood falls… but you truly made it rain blood."

"When I turned back to look at her, she was mostly covered with blood herself, staining her kimono and her face. I sheathed my sword, watching as she stared at me with a pale face and unfocused brown eyes. We stared at each other for a few minutes, until I rushed forward to catch her as she fainted, and fell forward. After thinking I realized that I had hesitated to kill her- actually, I had forgotten about killing her, or being an assassin. But I realized that I had noticed she wore a perfume that smelled like white plums, which I found ridiculous, and shook my head while thinking I was most likely going crazy. When I looked closely at her, I decided that I would take her back to the inn since there was no reason to leave her there."

"I quietly turned and ran back, carrying the girl while at the same time making sure I didn't wake her. When I arrived at the inn, I slid open the door and called that I had returned. Okami-san met me at the door, asking where I had been, I told her "out" and removed my shoes. She noticed the woman as she came near and asked me what I was doing. Stammering, I answered that there had been a fight and she had fainted. I began to continue, but Okami-san gave me a stern, disbelieving look and I stopped. Then she walked closer and asked if I hadn't just gotten her drunk. As I remember, Okami was the only one who ever teased me at all, everyone else was afraid of being killed, or receiving a "death-glare" – I guess back then I wanted people to believe that, that I wanted them to stay away from me."

"Anyway, I was struck speechless by her suggestion, and turned away. Finally, Okami-san informed me that the inn wasn't a teahouse-and she wouldn't let this happen again. Then she said she would get the woman a change of clothes, and water. Afterwards I walked away to my room, but was in time to hear some of the men who were still awake asking what had happened. Okami-san told them the truth, which made all of them begin yelling, and misunderstanding, that I had brought "home" a girl."

"In my room I laid the woman down on the futon and then pulled a blanket over her, placing a pillow under her head. Then I walked over near the window and sat down, keeping my sword close at hand. I watched her for several minutes, then decided that she was just drunk, and with the combined smell of blood and of white plums I must have been going crazy."

"Surprisingly I fell asleep in that position, and woke up the next morning to find the futon empty and the woman gone. I rushed out of my room and ran throughout the inn to the kitchen. When I finally arrived there and pushed the door open, I found that the woman from last night was helping Okami-san, and feeding the other inhabitants. Okami-sensei greeted me, calling the woman my girlfriend while exclaiming how helpful she was. I nearly face-faulted at that, and when I recovered I asked, stuttering, for her name, which she replied was Tomoe. Then I asked her what she was doing, and she calmly replied, "can't you tell?" My answer was that she was helping in the kitchen, and Tomoe said, "then you can tell," as she began walking to the door that led into the hall, carrying trays. I asked if I could talk to her, and she replied that she was busy, and I should ask later."

Kenshin laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "Now I am glad that I had Tomoe's presence back then. She was the only one who stood up to me, or made me question what I was doing. Her questions caused me to think, and pierced the haze around me. Tomoe helped me become the person I was supposed to be. It was because of her that I stopped being an assassin."

"Anyway, Tomoe then knelt by the door and slowly opened it, calling that she had breakfast for them. Immediately the door slammed open the rest of the way and men pushed their way into the doorway, clamoring and shouting about how she was my girlfriend, how lucky I was, and how hot she was. When one of them suggested, well you know, I glared intensely at them and they all stiffened, scared, and rushed back to their meals."

"The next night I was finally able to talk to Tomoe alone in my room, which we were currently sharing. I explained to her why I wanted her to promise me she would forget what she had seen, and leave the inn. She smarted back, asking if she was a burden, and remarking that Okami-san liked her. That discussion didn't go well for me, Tomoe kept asking questions instead of letting me ask them. Because of this I tried a new tactic, insisting that her family must be worried about her, but she replied that she had no family to return to. Then I informed her that the Ishin Shishi weren't in any state to look after her… but then, Tomoe asked if I would then kill her, like I had the person the night before."

"I informed her that I was killing for the Ishin Shishi only because I wanted to bring around a new era, where everyone could live in peace. I said I only killed the armed bakufa officials who opposed us, not civilians, even if they opposed us, not indiscriminately, and especially not women."

The redhead smiled sadly, "the problem was that I was so set in my ideals, and my own reasons, that I was stunned, and surprised, when she questioned me- questioned what I was doing. That was not what I had expected. No one had ever done so, except if you counted Shishou who always did."

"She set her chopsticks down and said, with complete sincerity, "so bad people carry swords and good people don't? Then, if I had been carrying a sword that night-would you have-?

Kaoru gasped in surprise, "you mean, she meant... that you might have killed her?" She breathed his name quietly, "Kenshin,"

"To be honest I didn't answer her, I truly wasn't sure what I would have done. You don't know how much, in that moment, it scared me. For once I didn't have the answer to a question, and I was unsure of what I believed. As I was wondering, Tomoe stood up and walked to the door then told me to let her know when I had an answer, and she left the room. There was silence in the room until I realized what she had done, and then called after her the obvious, that she had left me alone. When I settled again, I began doubting myself. I wasn't sure if, because of her, I was going crazy, or if everything was finally beginning to make sense."

"Two weeks passed after our conversation, and I still didn't have an answer to her question which had upset me so much. I was sitting in my room reading when Tomoe entered, saying she was going to clean the room. I replied that I hadn't asked her to, but her response was that Okami-san had asked her to. Annoyed, I stood up and noticed there was a small book on the table along with the other ones. It seemed that she had settled in to this life very quickly and easily, especially if she was leaving things laying around like that. I asked her what is was, and she replied that it was her diary and then politely ordered me not to read it, which I wouldn't have done anyway. Then she placed it inside her kimono, 'just to be sure," she said.

Kenshin laughed softly, "all of our conversations were like that. Awkward, full of sarcasm, and," he paused thoughtfully, "realistic. She always annoyed me to no end, but, it was a good thing."

Then he shook his head, and declared, "anyway… that night I received another envelope and had to firmly set aside my confusion and doubts. When I returned to the inn after killing the man, I went to the kitchen and washed my hands over and over, scrubbing and rubbing them- all the time wishing for the blood they were soaked in to come off. However it never did come off however many times I cleaned them, and as I was washing them, Tomoe walked into the doorway and stood there. She asked if I would continue to kill as I was doing."

"A few days later, after I returned to my room and after washing my hands, from my mission, Tomoe kept giving me weird looks while I readied myself for bed. I didn't ask her why, instead I sat in the corner as I always did and tried to fall asleep."

"Every night after that, every time I entered my room after I returned, she would be in there writing in her diary. And every night I would go into the kitchen and wash my hands over and over again, although the blood never came off."

"One night I hadn't received an assignment so I stayed in my room and read for awhile. Tomoe was still working around the inn, and I feel asleep before she returned. When she came in later, I wasn't aware of her doing so, and because of that I continued sleeping until I sensed someone who I believed to be an intruder. So then I grabbed my sword, and in a second had it unsheathed and pressed against the person's neck. A few seconds later, I realized that it was Tomoe who I sensed, and then Tomoe who I had attacked. Because I didn't trust myself I pushed her away from me and then I collapsed back onto the floor, breathing heavily"

"After all of those things I had said about not killing a citizen or an unarmed citizen, I had been awfully close to killing her. I quickly apologized and asked her to leave, just in case my instincts were to overwhelm me."

"I fully expected her to run out of the room, scared and wanting never to speak or see me again. That was what I expected, but instead Tomoe dropped the blanket onto my lap and commented that she would stay with me for a while longer, as to be a sheath for my madness. Those words surprised me so much that I pulled the blanket closer to me, then told her that my answer to her earlier question, of would I have killed her if she had held a sword, was no. And no matter what ever happened I would never kill her."

Kaoru bit her lip, and reached for his hand again, "You… loved her didn't you?"

The redhead took her hand and smiled sadly, "I suppose I did, but back then I just thought of her as someone who helped me during that time of war, blood, and madness, a person who held back my own madness, who kept me sane and alive. But, I did love her, I suppose." He smiled again and squeezed her hand warmly.

"Before I knew it, it was June 5th, the day of the Gion festival. By that time Tomoe and I had become more comfortable around each other, and she had continued to keep me sane and in reality, although of course I continued to go on missions at night, and stay alone during the day."

"One day, well late evening actually, Tomoe and I were sitting in my room. I had fallen asleep while she worked on some sewing. All of a sudden I woke up just as Katakai-san had burst in shouting, and Tomoe asked him what was the matter, while Iizuka entered as well. I quickly stood up, alerting them that I was awake. I asked Katakai-san what he was doing at the inn, since he was supposed to be guarding Katsura-san at a meeting that was taking place. He responded, still shouting, that the meeting had been attacked by the Shishengumi, and the meeting place had been leaked."

"I panicked and asked about Katsura-san. I had gotten attached to him, and cared about his welfare, even through what he was making me do."

"To my relief Katakai-san said that Katsura had gone to run an errand at Tsushima headquarters since he had been running early, and had then been taking a catnap when the attack happened. However, Katakai-san continued to say that Yoshida-san, Myabe-sensei and the others might have been killed."

"When I heard that, I rushed forward worrying for their safety, thinking I could go after them. But as I went past Iizuka, he caught me and held me in place, saying that it was too late for me to help them, that I'd never make it, and there were already too many Shogunate soldiers heading in the same direction and if I attacked, it would only hurt the Choshu party."

"I did wait until later, and then hid among the crowd with a hat to hide my appearance. When I got there, the Shishengumi had gathered and were parading around the city, celebrating their victory. They were our main enemies, the ones who were the greatest obstacle of our revolution. But, as I watched, one of them stopped and turned back towards me. Our eyes met for a few seconds before he continued walking again."

The redhead smiled and laughed, shifting position so that he was lying on his stomach. "The funny thing was that that person was Saito, and as I turned back I had a thought that the two of us were going to have a long relationship… as we have still today."

The teen smiled at him, "I wouldn't really call it a relationship. As far as I've seen, you two despise each other."

"I suppose we do, but we respect each other at the same time, although we disagree most of the time," Kenshin commented thoughtfully.

"Anyways, soon word spread around the Ikedaya incident, and since it had been greatly distorted and exaggerated and distorted by other people, it sparked a blaze of rage in Choshu. Therefore, we marched through Kyoto with 3000 soldiers. However, the Shogun sent an army of 20,000 against us, and, obviously, we were slaughtered. Truthfully, it was settled before the fight really began."

"Afterwards, it was known as the "Kimon incident" … and on that day many of us fought our hardest, but we could still not turn the tide of the war. When that one day was over, our casualties were at over 400 soldiers… and the Shogunate had 60 casualties. It was one of the worst incidents ever, fire was set to 28,000 homes- which drove those victims into the city streets, which were even less safe."

"I feel so bad about that incident, and I know I did back then as well. All of those people had been put in danger because of the war we were participating in, they were just innocent bystanders. After that day, Tomoe and I secretly met Katsura-san on a bridge in one of the areas where we had burned places down. We spoke about the Ikedaya incident, about how the ill-fated meeting had been meant to plan the retrieval of the emperor during the chaos creating by setting fire to Kyoto. And we also talked about how Katsura-san was against such an atrocity, and that Katakai-san said it was ordained by the heavens that he was the only survivor."

"But Katsura-san was in a depressive mood, and he commented that he was a failure, and that the Choshu party was near annilation, and being chased down as the enemy of the emperor. And he also said that the conservatives had regained power in Hagi, which was our party's capital. I asked him what I should do, since the Konagi-ya, the inn where our headquarters were, had been burnt down."

"Katsura-san told me that he had prepared a house in a farm village outside Kyoto where I was supposed to stay. I was supposed to lay low until our next action was decided, and Katsura-san would contact me through Iizuka. I guess it was the smart thing to do, if anyone saw us before we acted again then the whole point of our revolution would be lost, there would no longer be any point to it. But, I was hesitant about going to a farm outside of Kyoto, and doing nothing…just waiting."

"At least, I was until Katsura-san asked Tomoe to go with me, and live on the farm with me. His reason, at least as much as he said, was that a young couple blended in more then a young man on his own, but it was just entirely for appearances. Katsura-san's last words to me, on that day, were for her to take care of me, and then he walked away from us."

"We stood in silence for awhile until Tomoe asked what we should do, since she had nowhere to go. Stupidly I commented that everyone had somewhere to go, when that wasn't even true for me. Hiko had kicked me out, saying he never wanted to see me again, and my parents were gone, and I had no relatives- so there was nowhere for me either. Then I went on to say that if she needed travel funds, I would provide them."

"I realized how stupid and lowly that sounded and sighed before telling her that I knew that what I had just said was the coward's way out. Just in that conversation with her, and when I thought over all of our time together, I thoroughly realized how much I cared for her, and how strongly I wanted to spend time with her… and so, I asked her to stay with me, and told her I didn't care about how long it was for, that I didn't want such a thing to be for appearances, I truly wanted to be with her."

"A few weeks later, in midsummer, we were married. I was fifteen, and Tomoe was eighteen… young lovers you could say," Kenshin informed her, laughing slightly.

The redhead paused for a few minutes, and Kaoru didn't feel the need to interrupt him, or say anything.

"Did you love her?"

Kenshin's head rose at the teens question, and he looked confused then thoughtful. After awhile he answered quietly, "yes I did. At least…enough to marry her. Back then, I thought she was truly the one for me, the person who could protect me from the madness of the war, and who could love me for the person who I really was, not the hitokiri everyone knew."

Kaoru sighed and gently leaned against him, 'I wish he could love me like he obviously loved her. But, if she was able to help him live through the war, then I guess I can't be jealous of her. I just wished he cared for me like that.'

"We had been living on that farm for five months, and Iizuka had visited us once or twice a month to tell us what was happening back in Kyoto. Most of the people in that area knew me as a medicine seller who lived with his wife. It was late December and Iizuka had come to visit again."

"He brought me up to date about what was happening back in the city, and that Choshu managed to avoid subjugation by the Bakufu, but there were rumors of a second attempt. Then on the 15th of that month, Takasugi had stood with his Kihei army to regain control of the party's government, which caused Choshu to fall into a state of civil war. I asked if there had been any word from Katsura-san, but Iizuka said there was none, again, admitting that he wasn't able to contact Katsura-san. He said none knew where Katsura had gone, and that people calling him "running Kogoro" because of how he had dodged the bloodshed, and it might not be so far from the truth."

"And then he said something that I couldn't believe and that made me doubt him. Iizuka claimed that Choshu was already finished."

"I told him as such, and added that I believed Takasuki would win, and that Katsura would return soon. The two of us sat in silence again before I asked him what the city was like. Iizuka said it was gruesome, that it was the Shishengumi's world now, and they were prowling the streets for revolutionaries while the Kyoto Mima Warigumi and other Shogunate armies competed with them."

"I warned him to be careful and that they wouldn't come to the country unless it was important. I admitted that I was worried about the enemies we had in the shadows, especially the traitor whose attacks we couldn't predict."

"After I said that, he commented that all the stale talk was making him stale, and asked if I felt the same. I said that it was thanks to him, and he replied by saying that he thought I might be bored living in lukewarm water, away from being a hitokiri. Standing up, I told him the truth, that I loved kenjutsu but not killing, and that there had been many eye-opening moments."

"Iizuka seemed like he was going to respond, but two of the townspeople came up to us, greeting me. I returned the greeting then began walking back to the small farm where Tomoe and I were living. On the way I met and conversed slightly with some of the other townsfolk."

"I finally made it to the farm where Tomoe was playing with some of the children from the village who often came to play with us."

The redhead broke off from his narrative, smiling slightly while he fingered the sleeve of his worn gi, "those days we spent in the country together, it was like I was able to begin returning to the person who I used to be before I joined the war. And playing with those children, I've always enjoyed being around children, but this time it meant something more. I wasn't really given the chance of a normal childhood, so helping those children experience something I never had-it made me feel like I was really doing something.

Next to him Kaoru smiled, "it is true… children have such an innocent view of the world that I think it's important not to spoil that, however easy it might be."

"Just like you."

Kaoru turned on him, glaring furiously, "what did you say?"

He smiled placidly, "I only mean that, for being the assistant master of a kenjutsu dojo, you still don't believe in killing or hurting people."

"Hmph."

"Kenshin cleared his throat, "as I was saying, I walked up to the farm and announced that I had returned. Immediately the kids surrounded me, asking where I had been while hitting me on the head with their "swords," which were really sticks, and throwing balls at me. I told them that I had been in the mountains gathering herbs, and then asked if Tomoe had played with them. One of the girls replied that Tomoe was no fun, and she was even scary to them."

"I noticed that one of the girls was standing a few feet away from us, staring at me hesitantly. I asked her what was wrong, and she quietly replied that her father had told her I was strange, and ordered her not to play with me. However, her mother had said I was a good person for helping other people. In response I told her I would be home the next day, and to come over and play with the others. She smiled at me then joined the other children as they went home."

"Tomoe apologized to me for not smiling, saying that she did like children, especially since they made me smile. I told her she was right, then explained a little of my history before telling her that I had never initiated a conversation, and that I had never exchanged smiles. As well as that I used to believe I was helping to journey towards a new era where everyone could be happy, and doing so with just my sword and death as companions. However before I had met her and spent these five months in the farmlands with her, I hadn't known what happiness was, and now, by being with her I had found what I was fighting for, and what I had to continue fighting for. I told her that I knew the battle would resume, but until then I wanted to stay with her for as long as I could."

"A few weeks later I was role-playing with two of the boys in the yard while the girls played nearby with a ball. We were "fighting" with sticks as swords and playing as the Shishengumi and Choshu, when a young boy appeared slightly down the path from us. The children confirmed that he wasn't from the town, and one of them, who was braver, went to ask if he wanted to play. They stood facing each other for several minutes until the stranger hit the boy on the head. I moved forward to scold him, but the newcomer bit me on the hand."

"And then I heard Tomoe's voice from behind me, naming him Enishi. Tomoe asked if it was really him, and Enishi turned and smiled at her, calling her "sister."

"It turned out that he was her younger brother Enishi, from Edo, who had come to visit her. I tried to be nice, but when I tried to pat him on the head again, he bit my hand, and so I decided to let them spend time together, and I stepped outside with the children."

"The problem was… that she had never told me about having a brother, or anything about her past life. But, the larger problem was that no one except for Katsura-san and Iizuka-san were supposed to know where we were. And it was doubtful that Tomoe had given our position away, because she was so surprised when Enishi appeared."

"The children interrupted my thoughts, asking if I was going to play with them. I stood and joined them, realizing that all I had were suspicions, although it wasn't likely we would have any peace for the rest of the year."

"An hour or so later I had sent the kids home, and was walking back to the house when I noticed Enishi walking towards me, his head lowered. I stopped in front of him and asked why he was leaving, since most likely Tomoe had already started dinner. He looked up at me with a cold, angry glare, and then shouted, "if only you had never existed!" Then he ran past, shoving me aside and ran quickly down the road. I stared after him for several moments before I entered the house to see Tomoe writing in her diary."

"She quickly shut it as I came in, and held it tightly to her chest. We then stared at each other before I asked her what was wrong, and she stuttered that it was nothing, then told me she had sent Enishi back to Edo. I stupidly repeated what she had said, and Tomoe declared she had never told me, and that I had never asked because I was so respectful. She said thoughtfully that it was time for us to talk about ourselves."

"I walked over to the window as she began speaking, telling me her family was from Kyoto and even though they didn't have money to waste, they had enough food. Her father was a retainer for the Shogun, and a kind man. Her mother was a good woman, but had died soon after giving birth to Enishi. Since he never knew his mother, Tomoe had raised him on her own, so to him she was both a mother and a sister."

Tomoe paused, stood, and handed a cup of tea to me before she continued. She told be that her fiancé was a kind man who worked hard and was the second son on another retainer. The man had asked her to marry him, and Tomoe told me that she had been happy, but back then hadn't been able to show it. Supposedly he didn't feel that he was worthy of her, so the wedding was postponed while he joined the Mimawarigumi in Kyoto… but he had never returned to her."

Kaoru frowned, puzzled, but then straightened, "you mean… the man you killed that one time…" she drifted off, astonished by the truth.

Beside her the redhead bowed his head and sighed, "yes, that man was her fiancé. I had forgotten, but he had been whispering her name as he struggled to stay alive that night."

"Kenshin," the teen whispered quietly.

He shook his head then continued with his story, "Tomoe told me that after she heard the news of his death, she wasn't able to rest and so came to Kyoto. Then… she told me that her happiness died along with him, and she thought it was her fault. Tomoe believed that if only she had cried and begged him to stay…then he would still be alive. Then she explained that she thought she had to find someone to hate, in order to keep her sanity."

"I gently pulled her towards me and partially hugged her, telling her I understood what she meant. She cried as I held her, and I couldn't help but feel her pain."

"In the end we sat on the floor next to each other, a blanket wrapped around us. I told her how I left Shishou to protect people's happiness with my sword, and that I believed I had to end the chaos and build a new era, but in order to do so I allied myself with the Choshu and became a hitokiri. Then, I explained how I had thought I could use my sword to accomplish happiness but in reality I continued just killed, causing unhappiness with each man I brought death to. I told her how my soul had grown heavy, my conscious misty, and the smell of blood always had accompanied me."

"But then, she came into my life and her questions blew the mists from my mind, and let the sun of sanity break through it. I no longer smelled blood; it had been replaced by the faint smell of white plums."

Kaoru moved closer to him, "you can be so poetic and philosophical sometimes Kenshin. You're so weird."

The redhead smiled at her and laughed, "If you say so, Kaoru. Anyways, I told her that now I knew that no matter how powerful his sword, how perfect his kills… no man could change an era, no one man could bear the happiness of humanity on his shoulders. All a man could do was to protect the happiness of the people he can see."

The woman sighed silently and looked away from him, 'but you still try to protect everyone's happiness even now, although you know that you can't," she thought to herself sadly.

"I explained that for now I would continue being a hitokiri, until the new era was established. And when that happened, I would find a way to protect without killing, I would seek a way to pay for all the happiness I had taken from others. Then I told her that I would help protect the happiness she had lost to the chaos, this time around, and… she smiled."

"That night when we shared our feeling and our histories…it made me so happy to have someone who understood me, and who would let me be myself. I cared so much for her, and hoped she felt the same way." Kenshin admitted to Kaoru, smiling as he rested his chin on his folded hands. "But, it didn't turn out that way."

Kaoru suddenly had a horrible feeling in her stomach, she suddenly knew that something was going to happen, something horrible had to have happened to split them apart.

"The next morning I woke up to find Tomoe gone. After I wandered around the room a little, I finally noticed a letter slipped in the door. When I read it, the letter turned out to be a ransom note. Someone had taken Tomoe, and they were challenging me to go into the forest where they were holding her to get her back."

He shook his head, "I couldn't believe I had failed to protect the one person I loved, and had let her be taken away from me. Angrily, I walked toward a path that led into the forest, and just before I entered, threw the letter aside."

"Immediately I could tell that something was wrong, the forest didn't feel right. It was as if one of my senses had been smothered."

"A second later someone attacked me from behind, and I wasn't even able to tell that he was there. I jumped back from him, and landed so I was turned sideways towards him."

"He laughed and explained to me that this was the "Binding Force," that this wasn't a normal forests, its magnetic fields were deeply corrupted, twisted more then other forests in Fuji. In the forest, where there weren't any animals, the "sixth sense" of all great swordsmen were no use, and the only people who could properly use their "extra perception" were people who had trained there… the Yaminobu. The man foolishly supposed that all of that meant I could only fight at half strength."

"To show him how wrong he was, I attacked him using a Battojutsu attack. He flew backwards and landed on the hard ground painfully. As the blood flowed from his wound, I walked up and placed my foot on it, causing him to scream. Angrily I told him that I promised Tomoe I would protect her happiness, and that I didn't care where we were or where he was, because I would kill anyone who stood in my way."

Kaoru smiled and whispered, "You really loved her, didn't you?"

The man closed his eyes. "Enough to kill anyone who tried to hurt her or take away her happiness? Yes."

A long pause followed his answer, until Kenshin finally said, "I remember every detail of that horrible day… the snow falling down on us, the cold wind, my thought, my actions… my emotions."

Kaoru gently gripped his arm, "go on Kenshin."

He nodded, "I held my sword straight out at him, and told the man to either lead me to where Tomoe was, or to his death. He glared at me confused, and then suddenly gripped his left wrist with his right… and a dart embedded itself in my shoulder."

"The ninja, or whatever he was, exclaimed that I hadn't stepped in further to my attack, which would have hurt him more, because I couldn't control my body. He said that because of the forces binding my sixth sense, my skill was impaired and therefore I had no chance of winning."

"He was going to continue his rant, but I pulled the dart out of my shoulder, which made him stare, then threw it into the air while yelling at him, asking if he thought I cared. And then, in one sweep, I cut off both of his hands."

Beside him, Kaoru made a gagging motion and covered her mouth with her hands, her sapphire eyes wide.

Kenshin turned towards her and said worriedly, "it only gets gorier from here on. I will stop if you want me to…"

From behind her hands Kaoru said, "No, go on. I want to know what happened." 'I want to know what happened to the woman you would have died to protect.'

The redhead nodded and lowered his head, "I attacked him and felled him to the ground. The man frowned and ran off through the forest. I followed him to a cave, then threw his arms beside him, saying that he had forgotten them. I asked him to tell me where Tomoe was, and then I would kill him."

"He said she was past the cave, and to the right, but then he told me that this wasn't over. That there were three more of them and that I couldn't beat all of them. He boasted they were the Yaminobu "shadow warriors," and they were the ninja among ninja-only allowed victory. Then I noticed he had a rope held between his toes, the ninja kicked his foot through the air, ripping the rope off a group of barrels hidden in the corner. Whatever was in those barrels met the oxygen in the air and it combusted, turning into a group of explosions, and made a large fireball as it exploded out of the cave. I ran out with it right at my back, and just as I leaped from the entrance, it exploded from the cave."

"I crouched on the ground, still holding my sword, and called him a sore loser. Then a few seconds later I realized what he had done with the explosion, now everything was either too soft or too loud. I could loudly hear the snow as it fell on the ground, or as I picked up my sword, but I couldn't hear it falling through the air."

"My hearing had been impaired by the noise of the explosion, and my sense of volume and direction were also distorted, meaning I couldn't rely on either of them during a fight." I slowly stood up, staring into the fire that was crackling through the air from the inside of the cave.

Someone spoke behind me, but their words weren't very audible, as they kept fading in and out of my hearing. I turned around and saw a man dressed like the other ninja, standing a few yards away from me, holding a large, long-handled axe."

"He had said something about me losing two more senses, and only having two left to fight with, but I just asked him if he really thought I cared…and he said I did."

"Did you really, Kenshin?" The girl beside him interrupted.

Himura looked surprised and turned his head towards her, "I'm not sure. I suppose I cared that it would impair my skills during a fight, but I wasn't very worried… I would still be able to fight."

"Then why would you say that?"

The redhead laughed, "because I was a cocky, stubborn, brat back then. And during that time I was only concerned about getting Tomoe back."

"Oh." Kaoru commented, then continued in her head, 'so you really did care for her.'

"Anyway, the man cut several trees down, slicing their trunks into parts before throwing all of them at me. I was able to dodge them fairly easily, then informed the ninja that even without my intuition and hearing, I could still see well enough to dodge."

"Another round of trunks came towards me, and a man appeared from behind one of the ones closest to me. He commented that he was surprised I could dodge, but it wasn't the same if the objects attacked."

"His fingers were clawed and he reached forward towards me, as I raised my sword to block his attack, then leapt into the air and split the trunk in half. When I landed again, he jumped to another tree and peered at me from over the edge. I met his eyes and he smiled creepily at me."

"I commented that by them attacking simultaneously, we would save a lot of time. The man with the axe yelled as he cut more trunks, and flung them at me again. I split the first one in half as I ran forward, dodging while at the same getting hit, then another came straight at me and I slashed that one in half as well."

"The two ninjas spoke to each other, but I didn't pay attention to their words, I was too busy gathering my remaining strength. All of a sudden something very sharp punctured my shoulder. I groaned, concentrating on the pain and noticed too late that a trunk was coming straight at me. The thing hit me and made all of my injuries worse, causing me to cough blood."

"Once again I gathered my strength and leaped at the man before slashing his legs so that they were cut off. He shouted and fell forward while I used my sword to stop myself from sliding backwards from the force of the blow, digging it into the ground. Unfortunately I released it and then could barely stand."

"The other ninja threw something at the wound on shoulder, making me fall back against the tree. I clutched at my shoulder, breathing heavily, but then he dug into my other shoulder from above with his claw, creating a larger wound. He joked, asking if he should give me credit for my persistence, and then added it was a pity I had lost my sword."

"I put a hand on my sword, commented that he was becoming annoying, then drew my sword and thrust it through one of his hands. He screamed, but I told him that I would kill him soon, so he should stay where he was- like he had any choice. I walked away, then turned back when I heard him talking to himself while trying to tug the sword out."

"He noticed me watching him and immediately stopped. I commented that I had wondered how his attacks had had such a reach, and that now it made sense. By now my gi was completely torn and ripped, as well my hakama, which was cut around my ankles, and at the same time breathing heavily. He glared at me and clenched his teeth, then with a shout yanked the sword out of his hand, which caused it to bleed. The ninja shouted that his body was a secret passed down through generations of his clan, and it was law that anyone who saw it had to die. Then he leaped into the air, saying that he would end our fight for now, but would return to kill me later."

"After that man was gone, I turned back to the first one and asked where the last man was. He responded that he was in the hut ahead, along with Tomoe. I began walking that way, off into the forest, but he stopped me and said that I would miss the third bond- and I should take a good look. When he said that, I turned back to see, and at that moment he hit a wooden plate in the ground, causing a bright light to explode."

"The explosion threw me back against a tree, and a few minutes later I clutched my head, slowly opening my eyes. I realized, squinting, that the explosion had affected my vision, so much so that I could barely see. After slowly getting to my feet, I analyzed myself to realize that it was just temporary blindness, and if I waited I would probably recover completely-but, I didn't have that long to wait, so I continued on."

"I walked for a few minutes until I stepped into a clearing where there was a hut, and an older man waiting. He turned as I came up and then he gasped surprised as I declared I was there to take Tomoe back. After I did so, we had a staring contest before he spoke his thoughts aloud, trying to figure my logic out. The man claimed that the reason his other two companions lost, was that I was no longer a man who fought for the sole aim of completing his mission, now I fought with the fury of a man protecting his woman. He then declared that if I wanted Tomoe, I would have to kill him first."

"Then, the man came at me and flexed his muscles before hitting me hard in the neck with them. He damaged my spinal cord and my head snapped back, making me spit blood. I was flung backwards to land on my back in the snow, but in that space of time I managed to cut him on the chest. He declared that since I was injured and most of my senses were impaired, there was no way I could win."

"I sat up, clutching my neck and trying to recover from the sudden dizziness while breathing harshly. Then I informed him that even though my body and senses didn't work normally, I could still attack him. He put a hand on his wound and commented that he couldn't approach me carelessly, and he also couldn't attack me with the same attack again, but he would find another way to fight me."

"We exchanged attacks for awhile, but I was hit more then him, and harder. In the end, I was forced back, breathing even harder. He said that by wearing me down, repeatedly hitting me but never getting too close, he would gradually chisel away by strength- and I couldn't do a thing about it in my state. I felt my hand slowly growing numb, and my grip on my sword loosened, unfortunately, he noticed and commented that the severe blood loss and extremely cold weather had rendered my body completely numb. The "fourth binding" to take away my sense of touch was done He asked if I thought he was a coward, but that it was okay because even against the strongest weapon or seasoned warrior, the realm they found after many battles … allowing them to outdo any newcomer, was cunning. Then, he told me I had no chance of winning, but I had fought well… and because of that, he would give me the chance to either die by having death chip at me blow by blow, or have the instant death from a fatal blow."

"I acknowledged that I couldn't win, but decided I could take him with me in my death, and then gripped my sword. He spoke, but I didn't hear as I decided to cut off all useless senses and put everything into one strike. Silently before I attacked, I begged Tomoe to live in the new era and achieve happiness for herself."

"A few seconds later I rushed forward, raising my sword while keeping my eyes closed. I prepared a mock battojutsu attack, but didn't hear him stop, so I continued through with the attack. But, as my sword cut through flesh, I realized that something was wrong. When I completed the attack; I raised my head to see…"

Kaoru stared when Kenshin drifted off in the middle of his sentence, something that rarely happened. "Kenshin?"

To her surprise, the redhead choked and buried his face in his sleeves. A few seconds later Kaoru realized he was crying, and that the man was shaking silently. Cautiously she put a hand on his shoulder, then, when he didn't react, on the top of his head. "Kenshin?"

"I killed her Kaoru, I killed her with my own sword."

The woman gasped, but didn't pull her hand away, "Kenshin," she breathed softly.

"My sword had cut through her shoulder and down her back, while at the same time immediately killing the other man. I watched stunned as she fell to the ground in what seemed to be slow motion. The dagger that she had held, in order to kill the man, dropped from her hand as she fell backwards towards me, blood spurting from her wound. Her scent of perfume, of white plum blossoms, came to me and I finally realized what I had done. As her dagger dropped, it cut me horizontally on the cheek, giving me my other scar. She fell onto the ground, close to death, but I could only stand above her stunned, with my sword still outstretched. Then the dagger plunged into the ground, and I drove my sword beside it before I knelt beside her and gently pulled her fragile body into my lap, softly calling her name. I cried that entire time, not even noticing that the scar on my cheek was bleeding."

"I kept asking her why, but she just opened her eyes and smiled at me as she reached up and patted my scar. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes… and then she closed them, for the last time. I clutched her to my chest, stuttering her name before screaming it at the top of my lungs. Tears began flowing from my eyes, and I asked myself why this had to be the way it had to be, asked why I shouldn't cry for her and completely denied it had to be this way. I bent over and silently called her name. She looked so content, even in death. Even after I, who had vowed to protect her… had killed her."

Kaoru was quiet after Kenshin finished his story. Now she knew all about what had happened during the war, and what had happened with him and Tomoe. But, because she did know, she felt like she understood him just a little more, including the redhead's aversion towards marrying her, or even saying that he cared for her. The thought of it made him remember Tomoe, and his short time with her.

She leaned closer to him and whispered softly, "Kenshin…"

But the redhead sighed and slowly rose to his feet, "I have to go out. Please excuse me." He nodded to her, then stepped off the porch, walked across the yard and exited through the gate.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru shouted, then sighed and slumped back against the wall. "I never thanked him for telling me, or told him that I still care for him, even after what he did." She closed his eyes, "he never lets me tell him what I think…but maybe he's afraid of what I'll say."

A few minutes later, the girl slowly opened her eyes to gaze at the gate, and the man who was somewhere beyond it.

"I love you, Kenshin."

Standing outside the yard and beside the gate, the redhead sighed and closed his eyes. Even though he was hidden from Kaoru's eyes, he still had heard everything she had said, especially her last few words.

She hadn't said them to his face, instead speaking when she thought no one was listening, but it had meant something to him, something very important.

She loved him.

He had been locking away his feelings for her, ever since he had realized they were there, because not only did he not want to jeopardize their relationship, but more because he didn't believe that he was worthy of her, or of her love. She was too good of a person to have to carry his troubling burdens as well as her own.

Now, since she had spoken those few words that meant so much, he had to rethinkthe feelings he had in his heart towards her.

And, if he did come to the realization that he truly did love her, would he then risk her happiness by marrying her, and then spend the rest of his life attempting to make her happy?

Could he make her happy?

He wasn't certain that even right now he wasn't always disappointing her, or causing her to worry. The time when he had left all of his friends behind, and had gone to Kyoto to fight Shishio, with an uncertain outcome, it had been hard for him to gather the courage to say good-bye to Kaoru, for more than just going to Kyoto… for saying goodbye forever.

Kenshin swallowed as the emotions from that night threatened to overwhelm him again, ones he had thought had left after his return to Tokyo, and the dojo-his new home. In Kyoto he had tried to lock those feelings away, and forget Kaoru in order to win the fight, but when she had shown up at his Shishou's cabin… they had returned.

In that moment, when he had seen her framed in the doorway, and the caring hope shining in her eyes, he had realized that he was glad she had come after him…

and that he truly did love her.

Then, ever since they all had returned from Kyoto, his and Kaoru's relationship had been more open then it had before Shishio's uprising. He didn't hide as many things from her as before, or from the others, and in return she was more patient and even-tempered with him. It was one further step to a true relationship between them, and to their admittance of love.

The redhead sighed. And here was, back to the question if he loved her or not.

When Shishou had stated that he, Kenshin, loved her, Kaoru, Kenshin hadn't known how to answer him. If his Shishou, who was extremely observant, could realize the truth…then Kaoru might have noticed as well. He was fairly sure that his friends had already noticed, it seemed like they were always pushing him and Kaoru towards each other.

His impulse response had been to say yes, but then his uncertainty had arisen once again, forcing him to change his answer to maybe.

However, he only said maybe because the redhead was uncertain if he was truly worthy of the honor of having her as his wife. She was such a wonderful, caring and generous person… so unlike himself.

But, maybe she could teach him the innocence that seemed to radiate from her, the innocence he had lost along with his childhood, or her way of firmly believing in swords that don't kill, and using weapons only to protect people, not to kill them.

He wished he could be that way, and perhaps, if he married her, that could come true.

If he married her…

If…

The redhead sighed, smiled confidently as he raised his head and set off down the road with renewed determination.

"Kenshin no baka!" Kaoru scowled and angrily slammed the wooden spoon onto the counter. "I've had enough of that stupid, idiotic, thick-headed, stubborn red-headed idiot! He's so, he's so…"

After not finding an answer as to what Kenshin was, the teenager returned to stirring what could be called miso soup cooking on the stove, glaring at it while circling the pot with the spoon, grumbling under her breath.

Then Yahiko and Sano had come by earlier that morning, after Kenshin had left, to eat and then insult her food, neither of which helped her temper. Especially after Megumi arrived later to join in the teasing.

The woman sighed, removed the spoon from the soup, and set it gently down. She hung her head tiredly and steadied herself with two hands pressed against the edge of the counter.

Dark hair fell into her eyes, but the woman took no notice of it, her mind was already preoccupied with the idiotic redhead.

When she had heard him say he had to go out, Kaoru had worried that Kenshin had meant he would be gone forever, meant that he was leaving the dojo... and her, forever.

Why else would he have left her after telling her his emotional and sad story that he must have waited to tell her for very long, without letting her say something?

Maybe he had meant that she wouldn't be able to compare to Tomoe as a wife, or meant that no one could ever compare to Tomoe.

Kaoru closed her eyes, trying to ward off the tears coming to her eyes. That was it, wasn't it? Kenshin didn't think she could compare to Tomoe, so he wasn't even giving her a chance to prove herself.

Damn that idiot! How dare he!

"Kaoru-san?"

The woman turned to glare at the intruder with fierce sapphire eyes. "What!" Her expression softened slightly when she noticed the redhead standing poised in front of the doorway. "Kenshin," she breathed quietly, the glare softening into a small smile.

He nodded his head, then his gaze slid over to the stove, "what are you making?"

"Miso soup, for dinner," Kaoru explained brokenly, glancing at the stove as well.

The redhead smiled softly and walked towards the stove to stop in front of it and inspect the food. "How far have you gotten?" He asked curiously, then picked up the spoon and stirred the soup.

She bit her lip, "well, I put a lot of the vegetables in, and salt, because it was a little sour, but I think its nearly done."

Kenshin smiled at her, "I'm sure it will be wonderful then." He spooned up some of the soup and tasted it, then tried not to show how awful it was. She had put salt in all right, far too much salt. But he just smiled again and told her it was excellent, all just to see her smile.

"I'm so glad you like it! I tried really hard to make it taste good!" Kaoru replied, beaming happily while clapping her hands together.

"It does," the man reassured her, then set the spoon back on the counter. "Kaoru-san, do you have time to speak with me?"

Her heart skipped a beat. He's going to tell me that he's leaving, because I can't compare to Tomoe. "What's wrong, Kenshin?" she asked, dreading the answer.

He sighed and turned to face her, half-smiling. Then he slowly raised his hands and gently took her delicate hands in his hard, callused ones.

"Kaoru, I know I've made you worry countless times, as well as put you in numerous awkward and near-death situations. But you're still here, and I'm still here… we're still alive, and with each other. Even after all we've gone through, after all of the highs and lows, we're still here… we've managed to overcome all of those things, and we're better off because of it. I know it's my fault for bringing all of these problems into your life, and it's all because of how I chose to be used in the war. People want to get revenge on me, so they used you to do so."

Kenshin frowned and looked at her sorrowfully, "I'm sorry I put you in all of those situations Kaoru, and made you suffer because of me. It wasn't necessary for you to let me stay and then have you suffer through all of that, but you did… you stayed all of those times. That showed how much you cared for me, and how much you believed in me, and I can't thank you enough for that."

The teen looked confusedly at him. "Kenshin," she whispered softly.

"I don't deserve you Kaoru, you're much too good for me. You have innocence, you find it possible to care for anyone and everyone, and you've told me countless times that you do not care about my past, and what I've done. That you believe it is only the person, and the future, that matters."

"The reason why I've never told you my feelings was because I didn't believe I was worthy of being loved by you. You're an unique person to be able to love me, a hitokiri. Most people wouldn't, but you've found a way to, and I admire you because of it."

He smiled gently at her, "I've experienced a lot of hardships in my life, and I've been able to deal with them… but you're the first good thing to happen to me in nearly twenty years. And I'm very glad we've been able to meet each other, because you have been a good influence in my life."

When the redhead lowered himself to a kneeling position, still holding her hands, Kaoru gasped while her eyes filled with tears. Her heart was skipping beats again, but for a completely different reason. Was he…?

"Kaoru, I'm glad that I lived through the war, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to be here with you. You're unique, and a wonderful person… one in a million in this world. I love you very much, and I'm so glad you can care for me as you do. I'm not worthy of you, but I plan to do the best I can to make you happy. You deserve to be happy, and to not have to constantly worry about me. Anything you want, you should have. That's my promise to you, to show you just how special you are."

He let go of one of her hands, reaching into his pocket while Kaoru watched breathlessly.

From his pocket, Kenshin drew out a small, black box. "I love you so much Kaoru and I want you to be happy. I'm sorry I took so long to ask you, but until now I couldn't believe that I deserved you."

"Kaoru, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I am so thankful of that. I don't know what I would do without you in my life."

He smiled and opened the box with one finger, revealing a silver ring, set with a small, sparking stone.

"Kenshin," the woman whispered quietly, her eyes wide.

The redhead proffered the box. "Kaoru, please... Kaoru Kamiya, will you marry me?"

There was complete silence, as if everything and one, was holding their breath, waiting for her answer, just as Kenshin was.

The woman laughed, tears of happiness trailing down her face. Kenshin noticed this and looked up at her worriedly, afraid that something was wrong.

"Of course, Kenshin! Of course I will!" She exclaimed, flinging her arms around him in order to pull him into a loving hug.

Her tears felt wet against his cheek, but he paid no attention to the sensation, instead burying himself in the warm emotion of pleasure he was feeling.

Kenshin tightened his arms around her and whispered softly in her ear, "thank you Kaoru, thank you so very much."

YES they got together in the end... how could they not? And that proposal was so SWEET!

Anyway... I'm sorry about the length, but I thought it was neccessary to add Kenshin telling Kaoru about Tomoe. Actually quite a bit was cut out anyway.. it used to be 38 pages... (now its 36)

Well, this is the end... just a few more comments untill we say goodbye.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!!! It meant so much to hear your comments and advice, and it was a wonderful way to keep me writing.

THANK YOU to Ash-mouto-chan AKA Yanikei, my beta-reader, for always putting up with me... and for editing my fics which make them all the more better. I owe you a lot.

THANK YOU to Siriusfanl13 who's fic Out of Time gave me the idea for starting RT.

There will not be an epilogue or deleted scenes or any such extras.. I'm sorry to say that this is the absolute end.

Thank you everyone once again for supporting me, and for reading my fics, it means a lot.

If you enjoyed RT, please read my other ones as well. I am actually considering starting another one. (dodges rotten food) I'll get to the others okay! I'll update soon!

One more thing, if you're ever looking for good anime to watch, I would recommend Ouran High School Host Club and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. They are both on youtube, as well as veoh (www veoh com). If you watch The Melancholy... please pm me and I will send you the chronological order.

Also, if you are looking for good fics to read, please look at my favorites.

If anyone feels the need to IM me.. my screen name on AIM is pippnfrodo. I would love to talk.

Thanks once again, I love you all...

sayonara,

mijichan