A/N I don't own any of the characters, except Steve and Peter and Daniel... The lyrics are property of evanescence....

Chapter 6

APOV

Soon we were in front of a hotel and as soon as we stopped in front of it a crowd of reporters surrounded the car. We looked at Bella questioningly. She just smiled faintly and said:

" Welcome to my personal hell." We all laughed and before she got of the car she said:

"Just run to the entrance and don't pay any attention to all they say."

We followed her as she was running to the stairs. There were flashlights and microphones every where. Emmett was holding Bella and was trying to push all of the reporters out of her way.

"Bella Lee, is this your new boyfriend?"

"Is this mean that all between you and Steve is over?"

"Is this the person responsible for your suicide attempt?"

"Bella, when is the wedding?"

Rose was the only one who was actually enjoying all this. She was walking slowly towards a reporter like she was on a catwalk. I grabbed her hand and dragged her to the door.

"What? This guy was really nice and was asking me something."

"Rose, don't forget why we are here."

As soon as we entered the hotel all the shouting vanished and we felt relieved.

Bella looked at us apologetically:

"Sorry, really, I don't pay them any attention, but it must be hard for you." She entered her apartment and we all sat down on the sofa. As soon as she sat next to Emmett and Rose her phone rang and she answered it before the second ring.

"Hey, sweet!... Yeah, I just got here… they were in front, as always… everything is ok… ok…see ya…bye bye!" she hang the phone down and looked at us.

I was seating next to Jasper, who has embraced me and was rubbing my back. From time to time he was kissing my chick lightly. We all waited for her to start.

"Well, you want to know what happened, right?" Jasper nodded and that was all the encouragement she needed.

"Where do I start?"

Emmett said "What about the day we left?" Bella thought for a second and then she looked at us and started:

"Ok, the day you left. I think there is no need no explain the devastating pain I was feeling when the family I considered as mine left me without a single word and the love of my life just walked out of it. I was catatonic for months, I refused to eat and drink anything and Charlie was desperate. He didn't know what to do with me, I refused to live. So he decided to hospitalize me. I cried and shouted and he called my mom who just gathered my stuff and sent me in a hospital in Seattle. From what I knew there was no way to get out of it sane. They tried to persuade me to eat but nothing happened. I was on whatever drugs you can imagine and from their constant attempts to make me eat I couldn't put anything in my mouth even if I wanted. The physical pain I was in was nothing to what I felt deep inside. I didn't have a purpose to live. So in one sunny day I decided to do the only thing that made some sense- to die. I tried to find a razor and finally succeeded. The next night after the check-up I just cut my wrists. But as you can imagine with my bad luck the nurse which was responsible for our floor found me and they saved me. Well, the hell could be heaven in comparison to what happened next. I was moved in another wink, where were the really depressing cases, like mine, I didn't have visitors, they changed my drugs and I hardly had a moment in which to be aware of my surrounding. All was constant haze and flashes of memories, and I was living in what you may call the Hell. There was nothing to do, except staring at the walls and remembering the reason which brought me there. In the few moments I could use my brain, of course. I can't remember how exactly I managed to escape- maybe for first time I did have luck if you call this luck. For days I wandered in the slums, from time to time some drug diller would offer me something to "forget". I didn't have any money, I didn't have a place to go, I didn't know what to do. And the pain was unbearable. I couldn't cry-there were no tears left –I just was without a purpose, without a reason to exist. So I did the only thing that I could do- I found a razor and cut the wrists again. My wounds were still fresh and it was easier than the first time. There was so much blood, but I was not afraid. The pain was finally gone and I was relieved for first time in months. That's when I felt there was someone near me. And as soon as I saw his eyes I was sure that he was a vampire. And I knew that this time I would really die- there was no way to escape him and in fact that was the last thing I thought to do. I just wanted to die. That was the last thing I remember from my human life. The next 3 days were filled with pain, not intense like the pain I felt before, but still pain. When I opened my eyes for my immortal life Steve -the vampire who found me and changed me- was there next to me. He helped me through my first year as a newborn, but in fact there was no need to restrain me because I was repulsed from human blood. That made it easier to live among humans and we got fake ID's presenting us as siblings. We moved from place to place and that's how we met Daniel and Peter in New York. The love for music gathered us. I turned to music for salvation from the depression I was in. I started writing songs and one night in a club in Washington I sang for fun. Luckily Natasha was there and she heard me. She offered us a contract and became our manager. After two months we had an album, which by surprise became number one. That was one and a half years ago, and since then our lives were not the same. You know, all this fame is just too much. So, that's all." She stopped and hesitated before looking at us again.

We were all staring at her with open mouths.

"I told him that was a mistake…but no… why should he ever listen to anyone. He is never wrong.."

"Alice, calm down " Jasper tried to calm me sending waves towards me.

"Alice, I don't blame any of you for what happened to me. We can not change the past. We can only forget it and try to move on. I can't forget what happened, believe me, I tired but there is no such option. I did what I had to do-I tried to move on. I forgave you. But, please, don't make me forgive him. I just can't…Why had he lied to me that he loved me?" The last sentence was a whisper and I was not sure if she really had uttered those words. Bella shuddered and was dry sobbing.

I jumped and sat next to her on the floor, then I wrapped her in my arms.

"Bella, what do you mean?"

I looked at everyone but no one knew what she meant.

"I can forgive you…to all of you…but I just can't forgive him for lying to me… for telling me all those times that he… lo…loved me…that he…needed me…when he saw me just as …as distraction…I can't forgive this….please…from the bottom of my damned soul …just .can't.. even though… I.. I ..want.."

I just stood there, when I felt Jasper pushing me away of Bella. He took her in his embrace and started whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

I just stood there on my knees, when I realized how broken and hurt is Bella. And I couldn't move because what we have done to her could not be undone. I and Edward have hurt her the most and to forgive us was the hardest. I felt powerless because there was nothing I could do to atone my blame. I have broken her beyond words-and I suffered seeing my best friend seeking solace in the embrace of someone else. Even though this someone was my husband I couldn't stop the jealousy I felt. Jasper felt it and looked at me bewildered. I felt how his hands stiffened around Bella and he was wondering how to break the embrace and move from Bella, without hurting her feelings. He looked at me apologetically, but he saw the real reason in my eyes and I felt his understanding.

Rose came to me and embraced me. But I just couldn't move, there was nothing I wanted more than Bella to look at my face with her enormous trusting eyes, to see her genuine smile and to tell me that she forgave me. Bur I knew that this wouldn't happen.

She was shaking again from the sobs she was trying to repress. Finally she raised her head and looked at us with eyes full of despair.

"Please, I want to be alone. Give me some time…"

Emmett vacillated and then stood up. He helped Rose up and dragged her out of room. Jasper took me from the place I was sitting and I heard the door close behind his back.

There was silence when I finally heard Bella sliding on the door and a faint whisper:

"Oh, God! Help me!" baffled by her dry tears.