2 MONTHS LATER

Dear Journal,

Ummmmmmmmm...Uh B just told me that shes...that shes...shes...OH HOLY

FUCK SHES PREGNET!!!!!!!! I MEAN PREGGGGGGGGNNNET HERE!!!

I MEAN THAT SHES HAVING MY BABY!!! ok ok ok I need to clam down here

come on Faith relax breathe...alright I'm clam now so um the first

thing that came to my mind was THAT FUCKING BITCH B SHE CHEATED ON I'M

GOING TO KILL HER AND THE FUCKER THAT KNOCKED HER UP.

But then I realize that ever since we had sex when I was still a man we where like

inseperble.The only time we didn't see each other was when we use the bathroom

and even there where in there togather sometimes.

Then so of course when I knew 'it' was mine I was like HOLY FUCKING

BULLSHIT!!!!!!,and that we where fucking stupied for not using protection. Ya'

like we ever had the thought of even going to buy some condoms.

Like you know it would never not really crossed our minds.Nows cause of that

stunt B is now two and a half months along now.

OH GOD I just can't stop thinking about it I mean I all most fainted YES bad ass

faith that could have blood spray painted on me ( not like I fucking ever would

do that shit) and still be able to eat 3 boxes of meat lovers pizza from papa

Johns.

But went pale and nauseous then nearly busted my head on the brand new

livingroom table ( that we bought sometime ago) behind me.

I have no Idea how to be a parent it's not like I'm mad at all I always wanted to

have A kid and even better yet I'm having one with B.

It's just I don't "know how" to be a good parent to my child.Maybe B have some

idea but I bet B is as fucking cluesless as I'm right now but at least she has

one I DON'T.

I'll put you in the fireplace in a heart beat you hear?!!!! Anyway.

I don't think it would be good for us to have one HEY!!! don't give that look that

says "OH-MY-GOD-SHES-SO-SELF-MINDED" bullshit come on here.

B and I are slayers here ok we go out night after night putting our lives on the

line to keep safe the worlds big ass from danger and will it be good if we both

died huh?.

I don't want my kid to grow up and not know who their parents are it's just

plain fucking wrong.

Knowing nothing not the sound of our voices, the way we smelled etc,expect

some old pictures that we took years before.

Although I'll not abanded my child like that always drunk loud slutly mother

fucken bitch thats was my so called mother did.

Ever that we all know I'm not the world's "most best " choise of a good

rolemodel but I'm damn sure going to try.

The only best rolemodel I could think of now is B's mom Joyce and I only knew

her less then a year I liked her it was like she knew what I was feeling even

before I knew it that woman was a diamond in my eyes.

B was really lucky to have a mother like her no matter how fucked up her

chilldhood was Joyce was motherearth herself.

Now back to reailty to my oh so big situation right now let me just recap of

whats currently in my mind: 1) B just told me in her 'oh so normal way' telling

her girlfriend when she was right in the middle of playing Gears Of War on

her Xbox 360 sitting next to her on the couch asking three or more random

questions about her day,if shes hungry,if shes thristy, what level shes on,

then just shes shes pagnet.

After that I let my controler slip from my hands without pausing the game

standing up and goimg to the bathroom without a word and came back

drying my ears out so I can clearly understand what the hell she just told me.I had

her say it again and I nearly fell over and died.

2) all the crazy shit that I don't know about being a good 'Father' to my child ...

or am I the mother?I mean yeah I helped create that kid but I'm a woman damn

I think it's going to be hard to work that part out.

3)what are we going to say when we go around togather in public B looking like

a ballon not that I would call her that cause I know that she would be beautiful and

almost glowing like to me. But I bet 50 bucks that when she gets to that stage she

would say that or either she would say somethings on the line of that.

I know that some people would come and ask her (either when shes alone) when

the baby do that your husband and yourself must be happy on the little one on

the way and all that junk.

i wounder what their face might look like when I'm next to her kissing her on the

lips or cheak or somthing then she says that her ' husband' ( while pointing to me)

are very happy on the little one on the way. the artifical-insemation went very well

as you can see.Well of course we have to say that to them then tell them the truth

right? just imagine would would have happen.

The person would have either shit or piss thier pants and pass out or they give us

the evil eye and maybe looked freaked out and either shit or piss their pants too.

So many possabitles to choose from.

well it's getting late B's already in bed after our talk so I better get to bed too I

need more time for all this to sink in a little more night.

6 And A Half Months later,

Dear Journal,

It's been two days since B gave brith to our very beauitful baby gril Heather I swear

when B found it was a girl a while back she went baby pink crazy pink this and pink that

buying clothles that look should be for a doll but of course I didn't let her buy to many of those

cause I'm the parent too shouldn't I get a say in right?