"Oh, really, I can't believe you actually found us after we put that ad in the paper" Kin said over the phone. "Oh, so you'll consent to a DNA test?" She paused. "That's wonderful!"

Kin looked over her shoulder to see Orochimaru walking into the living room. She glanced forward quickly and continued talking but now in a hushed tone.

"I'll call you later." She said and set the phone on the receiver.

"What was that?" Orochimaru asked.

"Um…I'm finding a lost puppy!" Kin yelled jumping up in the air.

"What does DNA tests have to do with finding a lost puppy?" Orochimaru asked folding his arms across his chest.

"Uh…Advances in science, you can't argue with that." Kin said bringing her arms back down to her sides and looking nervous.

She pushed her way past Orochimaru and went down the hall to her room.

Orochimaru just shook his head and continued on his way to the kitchen.

-0-

A couple weeks later Orochimaru was coming back from his weekly spa trip.

When he drove into the driveway (yes he has a car, and a driveway.) he saw two strange cars parked in the drive way.

'Did Kabuto get a car?" Thought Orochimaru as he got out of the car and went down the steps to the 'Front door' and walked inside.

When he walked inside the living room was not as it was when he had left. It was instead an exact replica of the 'Maury' TV set.

"What the hell?" Orochimaru said as he looked around at the TV set.

He turned his head and saw two grown men sitting on the couch.

"Brother!" They both yelled and got up to go give their 'bother' a hug.

16. Bring in Michele Jackson and Voldemort and tell them they're triplets.

"Who the hell are you?!" Orochimaru screamed.

"Your long lost brothers of course!" Voldemort yelled.

"My bro-what? How did you get into my layer?" Orochimaru screamed again and tried to pry them off of him.

"Your man whore let us in."

"I am NOT his man whore!" Came Kabuto's yell from down the hall.

Orochimaru looked over to see a camera man filming the scene.

"Is that a camera man?" He said.

"Yes, this is being broadcasted live across the 5 great nations." Came Kin's voice.

"WHAT!"

-In Konoha-

"Oh my God! Shizune! You have to see this!" Tsunade said pointing at the TV screen.

Shizune squinted at the TV

"Is that Orochimaru?" Shizune asked.

"Oh man! I've got to call Jiraiya!"

"…"

"Hey Jiraiya! Turn on your TV and turn to channel 56."

"What, why?" Jiraiya asked over the phone.

"Trust me it will be worth your while!" Tsunade said.

Jiraiya turned on his TV and flipped to channel 56.

"Oh my God! Orochimaru is on the Maury show!"

-In Oto-

"So Orochimaru, we got the DNA results back and…"

Orochimaru groaned.

"And…?"

"And you guys really are bothers!" Kin yelled.

"YAY!" Voldemort and Michele Jackson screamed.

"NOOOOO!" Orochimaru wailed falling to the floor.

"So Orochimaru how do you feel now that you know you have brothers?" Kin asked.

"Kin. Run." Orochimaru said simply.

"Huh?"

"I said run. Now!" Orochimaru shouted as he got up and chased Kin around the living room.

"Kabuto! Get everyone out. Now!" Orochimaru yelled still chasing Kin around the layer.

Kabuto obeyed quickly not wanting to feel the wrath of Orochimaru. And in a matter of minutes everyone was out and Kin now had broken arm and a concussion.

"That's what you get Kin now clean this up." Orochimaru ordered.

-0-

17. Steal Tayuya's flute, stash it under his bed, and when Tayuya comes running, screaming where her flute is, point to Orochimaru.

Jirobou stalked into Tayuya's room when she, Kin, and Karin went to have a 'girl's day out'. He quickly found her flute and stole out of the room before anyone could come and catch him.

He snuck silently to Orochimaru's room and was relived when found he was not in the room. He went into the room and push the flute underneath the king sized bed and then left.

A few hours later everyone in the layer knew that Tayuya no longer had her flute.

She ran to the kitchen where everyone was and yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Where is my flute you dipshits?"

Jirobou casually pointed to Orochimaru and then went quickly back to eating.

"What? I don't have your flute." Orochimaru said.

"Sure you don't." Tayuya said sarcasticly.

Jirobou beckoned Tayuya over to his side. She came hesitantly.

"Check under his bed." He whispered to her.

Tayuya just nodded her head and left the room.

"What did you tell her?" Orochimaru asked.

"Nothing…" Jirobou said taking a sip of his soup.

Just then Tayuya walked in with her flute in hand. She continued to walk over to where Orochimaru was sitting and without warning, clocked him on the head with her flute.

"What the hell was that for?" Orochimaru yelled rubbing his head.

"Don't still my flute." Was all she said and then she turned away and walked back out of the kitchen.

Everyone couldn't help but giggle at Tayuya's actions.

"And what are you guys laughing at?" Orochimaru asked turning to the rest of the people in the kitchen. They immediately shut up when they saw Orochimaru's death glare.

-0-

"Hello is this Akatsuki?" Asked Kidomaru over the phone.

18. Tell Akatsuki that Orochimaru is really the Yamata no Orochi (eight tailed demon snake) and that they were stupid for letting him go. Watch as they attack him.

"Yes. What do you want?" Came the voice on the other side.

"We are calling about your former member Orochimaru."

"Orochimaru?"

"Yes, we have just been informed that Orochimaru is the Yamata no Orochi." Kidomaru said trying to stifle his laughter and sound professional.

"What! The Yamata no Orochi? We've been looking for that one for a while now. Man now I feel stupid for letting him go."

"Yes you are very stupid."

"…Your not supposed to agree with me." The voice said coldly.

"I'm not supposed to but I did anyway. Now Good-bye and have a nice day." As soon as the phone reached the receiver Kidomaru burst out laughing.

"Hanako!" The Leader of the Akatsuki yelled. (1)

"Yes sir?" She said when she came.

"You and me are going to capture the Yamata no Orochi. Come we must go to Otogakura!(sound)

"Alright sir."

-0-

Orochimaru didn't know what happened to him. He was sitting in his room reading a book and the next he knew he was back in the Akatsuki's dungeon.

"Huh? What?" Orochimaru asked confused.

"Your ass is ours Yamata no Orochi!" Came a familiar voice.

"Oh shit…" Was all Orochimaru could manage before was knocked out.

-0-

"Hey do you know what happened to Orochimaru? He's been gone for 4 days." Kabuto said looking around.

Just then Orochimaru came through the door all bruised and battered.

"I hate the Akatsuki." Was all he said as he made his way into the hallway.

"What does that mean?" Kabuto asked looking down at Kidomaru.

He just shrugged and went back to playing video games.

1: Hanako is the name I gave to the blue-haired Akatsuki member.

A/N: Man I really need to start on that project for school. But It's so easy being side-tracked. Damn I'm a procrastinator!