Hello again, welcome back to AS SEEN ON TV!!! (applause from audience) I don't own Twilight, sad as it is. This chapter will most definitely be longer.

Edward POV

I heard a howl from outside, and I tensed up. Out of habit, I grabbed Bella's hand, who squeezed mine back, hard.

"I'm stronger than you now," she whispered in my ear. I never thought I would see the day, but I am embarrassed. The weird thing is, is that I am embarrassed, of Bella's doing.

"Sorry. Force of habit," I mumbled to her, and she kissed my cheek. Emmett chuckled.

"I bet you're not stronger than me, at least not anymore," he boomed. Bella sprang off of her position on the loveseat.

"You wanna mess?" she said.

"Bring it!" he yelled as they both ran outside. A minute later, a deafening (to humans) crack came from the forest, along with a roar from Emmett. I sighed. Bella's still a newborn, because it still has been only seven months since she was changed. Emmett should just get over that someone was actually stronger than him for once. I switched back into my normally serious mode and turned to the d- Jacob.

"Who was that howl from?" I asked.

He laughed. "It's just Seth. He's bored because he hasn't imprinted yet. He howled to make sure it was okay with me." I rolled my eyes.

Alice leaped off of the balcony from the stairs and spoke, "And he'll be here in 3, 2," and she pointed at the door.

"Guys, I think I've imprinted," he said exasperatingly.

"Wow," Jacob chuckled, "Spoke too soon. Who do you think you've imprinted on?" I heard it in his thoughts, and couldn't believe it.

"Promise you won't laugh? It's pretty embarrassing?" he said with pleading eyes. I nodded in agreement with him, about the embarrassing part. Luckily, he didn't know that.

Okay I imprinted on… Scarlette Faber," he mumbled, and wiped the sweat on his brow.

"Whoa, dude," Jacob said, "she's a celebrity. With a BOYFRIEND!" I looked into his mind to see what she was like. She was one of the stars on a show about, ironically enough, werewolves and vampires. Jacob thought about what she looked like, and I realized it. Pale skin, topaz eyes, overall perfectness. The imprintee… was a vampire. I decided not to tell Jacob OR Seth.

"OOOooOOooOOhhh….. that's why we're going to Hollywood! Rose come here!" she shouted up the stairs even though there was no need to. Rose, appeared next to her in an instant.

"Wait wait wait. Who said any of you were coming?" Jacob asked.

"Who said we weren't?" Rosalie replied.

"This is a me and Seth thing. You filthy bloodsuckers don't need to come," he countered gruffly. This was really bad, because he had stopped calling us that ages ago, after Nes- Renesmee was born. Well, you gotta love Bella for her choice in names.

"Hey, no need to rip each other's throats out. We can all go, for us Cullens, just as a nice vacation, and for you two, the search for Seth's soul mate. Oh this will be so much fun! Do you know what there's a lot of in Hollywood? Shopping!!!" Alice exclaimed, bringing optimism back into the game.

Carlisle stepped into the conversation, "Alice, do you know what there's also a lot of? SUN!" Carlisle had thought he had found the hole in Alice's plan, but he was wrong. All Alice was thinking about was how she found a way around this, but not exactly what it is.

"Due to our recent discovery, Rosalie and I have concocted a mixture to keep our skin from sparkling, and even make it the slightest bit tan! And now our lovely model, the beautiful Miss- Mrs, I should say," she said, winking at me, "-Bella will test out our product outside." and she escorted everybody outside.

There she was, my love, standing on a giant flat rock. The sun was shining directly on her, so she was sparkling like crazy. She was beautiful, of course. I blew her a kiss, and she caught it. Emmett had returned from his sulking and gathered with us.

Great job, Mr. Romance. You can do better than that, Emmett thought. I rolled my eyes.

"So you see, my fine audience, that this is just a regular old sparkling vampire," she started.

"Regular and vampire shouldn't be in the same sentence," Jacob said, causing Seth to chuckle. Rosalie glared at them.

"As I was saying, before I was RUDELY INTERRUPTED, Bella will just rub this onto her skin, and then the sparkle will go away, and her skin will even appear slightly darker. It comes in a soap, and a lotion," Alice said in a businessy tone, and flashed a brilliant smile. It worked. My Bella's arm looked slightly normal.

"What are the ingredients?" Carlisle asked. Always the one to be technical.

"Well, there's SPF 150 sunscreen, tanning oil, and a secret ingredient we won't be announcing," Rosalie announced. I, of course, already knew what it was.

"It's hot sauce," I revealed with a bored tone.

"WAY TO LET ME HAVE ANY FUN EDWARD!" Alice shrieked. Everyone dispersed and went off to do their separate things. Bella took Renesmee from Jacob's arms so fast that it took his a second to notice it.

"Hey!" he said, looking sad.

"Go entertain your friend or something Jake!" she replied jokingly. He rolled his eyes. Nessie- hey nobody could yell at me for THINKING that- put her hand to Bella's cheek and I watched from my daughter's head. It was of Bella and I sparkling together a few months ago. She thought it was strange that Bella wasn't sparkling. That was just something she would have to get used to it within the next few weeks. Hollywood, here we come, I guess.

I could hear Alice scream "YESSSSSS!" from her bedroom.

what did you think? I have a whole storyboard planned out! review pretty please with (insert werewolf or vampire of your choice here) on top!

um….yeah. bye

REINO-CULLEN

P.S. If you can figure out what REINO stands for I'll give you virtual goodies!

People unelligible for the virtual goodies:

Miss Ter

.ME

. (no using your other accounts either!)

bye for real.

R-C