Author's Note: I wrote this in about fifteen stolen minutes at 1 in the morning last night, so it hasn't been edited yet. Sorry.
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Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. If I did, I would have my own money (LOTS of it, XD) and would therefore not be running out of chocolate.
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"Let me ask again. Do you or do you not think of yourself as a bad person?"
Watari stood, and A flinched. He'd known he was in for this from the moment he made the stupid, stupid mistake of exposing himself. Granted, it was only for a second, but a second's all it takes to detonate.
As expected of him, being groomed for the position of L as he was, he tried to consider it from an objective standpoint… a selfish standpoint. Oh god, of course everything turned back to the issue at hand. That was, after all, why it WAS an issue in the eyes of everyone else and no longer his secret.
If he said no, that'd further him in the position of exactly what he perceived himself as being constantly accused of. A bad person. Not worthy of being L's replacement.
Not.
Worthy.
If he said yes, it'd still make it worse. Not that it was still his secret, safe and locked up with the rest of his own identity. It would never be again after what he'd done, but still. He'd like to preserve as much of a delusion that things were still the same as he could.
Which was the lesser of two evils?
It'd only been a few seconds, but he could feel Watari's gaze darken. He'd expected A to answer more quickly. After all, with an intellect like his it couldn't take too long to form an answer.
With an intellect like his he couldn't keep pretending Watari didn't know the answer.
With an intellect like his-
There's so much to break. So much room to snap, if there's so much room for greatness. And with all the expectations, of course he had. Who wouldn't?
Still, the immediate fear crippled him. It brought back memories of who he'd been before Wammy's had taken him.
He wanted to scream no and be done with it, tell them it was their fault. He wanted to believe what he knew was true- it wasn't his fault. He wasn't a bad person. He was just human-
a human raised badly, a human raised with the silent kind of pain you get so used to you deny. Not sharp pains. Not even ones that would leave scars. No, this was the only kind of pain you could ever really deny. It was poison. Work from the inside, leave nothing on the outside. And it'd taken its toll. Death toll, soon enough. Too soon.
Always too soon.
For whom the bells toll, to whom this may concern.
Who wouldn't snap under that kind of pressure?
He thought immediately of B, but he knew that wasn't true. He knew some of the things B did when nobody else was looking, when nobody else could hear.
True, he hadn't snapped, per se. More like been crushed.
He was poisonous.
He was crushed, and his poison juice spilled out and made its way into every eye. Burning them, blinding them.
He hurt.
Only A had plain cracked, split down the middle, shattered.
Fifteen seconds now. Watari was getting impatient.
He knew he'd die soon. What good could it do to lie now? And so he whispered with all the force of a million screams, the million screams inside him.
"Yes."
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Since this is my first story, reviews would be appreciated. ^_^