"Ding-Dong!" rang the doorbell of house number 18 on Keedle Street.
"Remember," Luscious whispered, "Big cheesy grins and the old failsafe. The Hair flick."
An old muggle opened the door and was met by a blur of black and white-blond hair.
"Hello! Are you tired of all those hair products that claim to give you manageable glossy hair but let you down? Well don't be anymore try-" Luscious broke off noticing the look on the man's face and the lack of hair above it. The man flexed his arm muscles and wielded his walking stick menacingly. They slowly backed out of his front gate before he could do too much damage with that walking stick.
"Well that didn't go exactly as planned." Luscious murmured.
"Yes, let's hope the people in the next house have hair," said Sexy icily.
They knocked on the door of the next house and were greeted by a woman in her early forties. Luscious and Sexy flicked their perfectly styled hair and bared their teeth at the woman in (what they hoped were) winning smiles.
"Hello! Are you tired of all those hair products that claim to give you manageable glossy hair but let you down? Well don't be anymore try "Hair Pocus!" The first range of hair products with a touch of magic. Guaranteed to give you the 'Luscious Look'!"
Sexy looked angrily at Luscious. He thought quickly and chimed in, "and help you maintain that 'Sexy Style'."
They both looked up at the woman wearing beaming smiles each brandishing a bottle of shampoo and conditioner. But the woman's gaze was not on the shampoo. She was twirling her hair and batting her eyelashes in Sexy's direction. Sexy looked nervous.
"So what's your name then? Is it Sexy?" she joked.
"How did you know?!" he yelled. She looked shocked so he said, "I mean, yes it is. We cannot stay long but if you buy our product we can hopefully come back tomorrow."
"Smooth move," hissed Luscious as they walked down the path after their very first sale.
A few houses and two sales later they arrived on Joker Road. Luscious knocked on the door and it swung open to reveal a man. He resembled Sirius Black.
"Can I help you?" he asked Sexy and Luscious. The man seemed to recognize the two wizards and a look of alarm passed over his face. He quickly felt his upper lip as though he was missing something. "Excuse me a moment."
The man went back inside and returned a minute later. He had managed to grow a very large light brown slightly askew moustache in the short time he had been gone. He straightened it as Luscious launched into his hair products speech.
"If you let us come inside we can show you the magic of "Hair Pocus!" It will only take a few minutes." Sexy offered. He had to know if this man really was Sirius Black. And if so why was he not dead.
The man looked nervously past Sexy and Luscious down the street and quickly led Sexy and Luscious into his house. He led them into his living room which looked quite large compared to the size of his house.
"I knew you would be here. I have a message for you."
"We have a few questions for you." Sexy replied looking at Luscious. "Are you Sirius Black now calling yourself Serious White? And if you are then why are you alive? We all thought that you were dead!"
"If you sit down I can tell you all you need to know," the man said gesturing to two large chairs. He left the room and returned a few minutes later he returned carrying a map and a large branch with leaves sticking off it in all directions. It looked like it had been pulled straight off a tree outside. "This is all you will need," he tipped the map and branch onto Luscious's lap and looked between Sexy and Luscious for a few minutes.
"Well?" Sexy growled impatiently.
"As I am sure you already know that I was in Azkaban for a crime I did not commit. I escaped a few years ago and as you know two years later I died."
"If you died how come you are here?" Luscious asked.
"I died in your past. I will die in my future. When I escaped Azkaban I heard of a plot to make terrible things happen. Those things are about to happen now. You two are the only people able to stop them."
"How did you get here?" Sexy asked.
"I trust you have both heard of the legendary "tempus temporis"?" He looked to Sexy and Luscious who both nodded. "When I escaped from Azkaban Cornelius Fudge, who was Minister of Magic back then, came to se my cell. He didn't believe that I had escaped until he'd seen it with his own eyes. Anyway, I noticed him entering Azkaban as I was leaving and noticed a large gold pocket watch dangling from a chain that he was holding. I grabbed hold of it and ran for my life-"
"Wait, you escaped from Azkaban, ran past the Minister of Magic and stole his watch, all without being caught and taken back inside?" said Sexy raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, you see I am an Animagus, I can transform myself into a large black dog. But at the time of my escape I was extremely skinny, skinny enough to slip through the bars of my cell. Being black helped as well, I could blend into the shadows. Fudge was talking to someone at the time and there were two Dementors near by so I don't think he was concentrating on the watch. So I took it thinking it might be worth something so I could sell it and get some money, whether in the muggle or wizarding world. Later on, on closer examination of the watch I noticed something odd. There was an extra button at the side and it had Latin words written all around the edge. So I clicked the button and found myself somewhere else, somewhere completely different, somewhere I'd never been before. I found a newspaper on the ground and noticed the date was five years in the future. Then I realized the watch that I had stolen can take the owner to the future. It was the "tempus temporis". It is passed down from Minister to Minister so they can sort out major problems. I believe it was part of the reason that Voldemort wanted a member of his company as Minister? Owning that would have made him truly unbeatable.
"I've talked for too long. You two need to use this portkey," he gestured to the branch. "It will leave in a few minutes. Then you need to follow the map. It will take you to a man. He will tell you what to do next. Good luck." Serious shook both of their hands and left the room.
"This has certainly been an odd day," Sexy remarked as he and Luscious felt the familiar tug of the portkey around their navels.