Disclaimer: I do not own and did not create Supernatural or Castiel.

In Infernum

Castiel knew he wasn't going to survive this one. It had been a long time since he'd seen demons kill one of his own kind, and he had not expected to see it again for a long, long time. Funny how it was going to be him.

There were five demons in the church. Eliul led the way, the crash of the doors he'd thrown open still resounding through the church. He'd taken a new body, a man in his early forties, with a hard, intelligent face, made sharper and crueler by Eliul's spirit. Two demons dragged Castiel through the doors. They were underlings, he knew, and he was ashamed he was too weak to fight them. Two more demons followed, doing what, Castiel did not know.

Castiel struggled to pull his head up. Jane was there, standing in front of the altar, and he felt his heart sink. So she had figured it out. He had hoped—a tiny, half-believed hope—that she might be safe, might be far away from here. She had realized, like he had, too late where the Seal was.

Castiel's vision began to black out around the edges, everything becoming fuzzy and distant. He knew this was his human body failing, just as he felt the blood steadily trickling down his right eye and the broken bones. He concentrated, trying to focus his vision. Jane stood before the altar, watching Eliul advance, horrified. She didn't try to run, and even though Castiel knew it wouldn't matter if she did, he wished she would anyway. He hated this helplessness, that he could do nothing to save her. The two demons dragged him along, his stumbling feet that could no longer support his weight leaving bloody, muddy smears on the carpet.

"It's a thing of beauty, isn't it?" Eliul said, his voice unnervingly monotone. He addressed Jane, who watched him with revulsion, but the fear seemed gone from her face. Castiel strained to keep his head up, trying to see what was going on. Jane's eyes darted to him, but he could offer her no solace. Eliul stopped, a few steps below the dais where the altar sat, looking up at Jane with a slight smile.

"Carved from the stone where Abraham bound Isaac for sacrifice, before the…Lord spared him," Eliul said, sneering at the name, as though he couldn't quite manage to get the word out. He viewed the carved stone appraisingly, seeming to admire its beauty. "Not so merciful with the rest of us, however."

The two demons holding Castiel had stopped, a few paces behind their leader. Castiel hung between them, trying to fill his lungs with air. It was getting difficult. Every breath felt like breathing through a sponge, wet and full of holes. He managed to blink his eyes through the blood and see what would happen.

Eliul cast his eyes over Jane, and she flew against the wall, slammed there and held stuck. She met Castiel's eyes again and he felt the anger springing up, filling him for a moment with a tiny surge of strength. He tried to access something, anything, some portion of his power they hadn't sapped away or bound already, just enough to throw them off and maybe, maybe—

The demon punched him in the side, hard, and Castiel felt a rib snap, a sick, wet, twig-snapping sound. He would have collapsed if they hadn't been holding him up. It was terrible to be bound by this body, held hostage to its physical limitations and completely unable to escape its pain, pain that crashed out the strength he'd felt a moment before. He drew in a ragged breath as the blood pooled in his mouth.

Eliul was watching him. His eyes weren't black, as Castiel knew the others' were. Eliul had no fear of him, and he watched Castiel with a soft smile even as the others were loathe to come near the angel, the demons holding him shrinking away as far as they could. One of them, one behind him he couldn't see, took the opportunity to kick him behind the knee, and his legs crumpled again. Eliul stood approvingly.

Jane made a noise of rage and frustration, bound by invisible chains against the wall. Castiel wished she didn't have to see this.

"Let's get busy," Eliul said to the demons. There were chuckles, and Castiel felt himself being dragged again, couldn't see anything except the carpet dirty with the blood dripping out of him. They dragged him onto the dais and hauled him up to the altar. The four demons pulled him up, roughly and clumsily. Broken ribs, punctured lung, so many injuries Castiel didn't know or understand, but felt. They spread his body over the surface, one of them twisting his arm back. Broken, dislocated shoulder by now, he thought. He sucked in a breath but would not let them hear him cry out.

There was so little of him left. He could not leave…. His powers were bound in some way he did not understand, some way that should not have been possible but clearly was. The isolation was the worst of it. His brothers were gone, and if any knew what was happening, they did not come. Even his sense of his Father was fading, slipping away into nothingness. Castiel tried to focus. He felt the point in the center of his soul, felt the light there, the strength like a heartbeat that was not gone, always beating, reminding him of who he was, everything he trusted. After everything he'd experienced last night, he was almost surprised he could still feel it.

"What are you thinking about?" Eliul said, suddenly up close to Castiel's face, peering into his eyes before Castiel had even heard him approach. Castiel met his enemy's eyes, unfaltering. Eliul quirked the corner of his mouth up.

Eliul traced a finger across the surface of the altar, inches away from Castiel's body. He was too weak, could barely move. He struggled to find that light again. The other four demons stood guard at the corners of the stone slab. No escape.

"Kill an angel on the Altar…." Eliul said in a slightly sing-song voice. He snapped his finger up. "A perfect sacrifice. Well, close enough to perfect. That's the only way it can be broken, you know. Through murdered blood, spilled over its surface, seeping into the cracks….Holy blood." He regarded Castiel, looked at him almost fondly. "I'm glad it got to be you."

"Stay away from him, you bastard!" Jane shouted, fury in her voice. Eliul turned, frowning slightly.

"You're in no position to make requests," he said. Jane was visibly struggling, but the demon's power barely allowed her to twitch. Eliul glanced over to his lower ranking demons, a thin, older man and a dark-haired young woman. "Keep her entertained," he said with a jerk of his head.

The two left the altar, their eagerness palpable in the air. Castiel couldn't see what was happening, could no longer keep his head up. "Jane…."

The blond woman, Norah, leaned over him and put a finger to his lips. "Shh-shh-shh. There will be plenty of time for noise later," she said with a smile. Eliul stretched his hand out. The other demon placed something in it, something that glinted softly in the low light. A knife. "Got this one from your own collection," Eliul said.

Castiel's eyes darted from Eliul to the weapon, his vision hazy with the blood dripping into his eye and the pounding in his skull. He was not afraid of the end. He was sorry this borrowed body would die, wretched over the soul in this vessel who would die with him, and hating that he would be the cause of Jane's death too. Eliul bowed over him, close, and trailed the point of the knife down his chest.

"You know why we chose you, Castiel, and not your friend the priest?" he whispered, his voice steady and even, the tip of the knife pricking between Castiel's ribs. "You are the weaker one." He stopped the knife's progress, stopped it at a point directly in the center of Castiel's chest. He spun it on its tip, gently. Then he pressed down, and the knife sank into flesh, grated over bone. Castiel closed his eyes and felt the pain wash over him. It was a bright red flood, horrible, but clean. It could not reach to his true self.

Eliul seemed annoyed by the lack of response. He pulled away the knife and it cut new gashes in the bone, deeper this time. The two demons watched with hungry, black eyes that betrayed their fear. "You're going to have to give me something more than that, Cas, or I'll have to get my kicks from somewhere else." He nodded to the two lower demons guarding Jane.

Castiel could not see, so Eliul gripped the hair at the back of his head and pushed his head up, holding it there so Castiel had a clear view of Jane. The woman demon regarded Jane, head tilted thoughtfully. Then she put her finger around Jane's neck, not tightly, but Jane stiffened immediately. She seemed to want to scream but couldn't, her eyes wide and scared. She gasped, struggled to breath, but it was choked, cut-off sound. She met eyes with Castiel for one long moment before her head dropped and blood dripped from her mouth. Castiel could taste his own blood rising in his throat. Jane twitched and did not move.

"Stop. Stop!" Castiel said, louder than he thought he could. Eliul released him and his head fell to the altar, hitting the back of it hard. White spots danced in front of his eyes. He couldn't tell if the demons had let her go.

Eliul ducked down, intensely impassive except for the shining eyes. He leaned close and whispered in Castiel's ear. "You've failed her. You've failed your mission. You are completely in my power. You never should have involved her, old friend…." He glanced over at Jane, a rare smile of pure glee passing over his face. He turned back, all seriousness now. "But I might give you a chance to save her. You just need to do one thing for me…."

Castiel's eyes darted to his enemy's face.

"Give up your grace."

"Don't do it, Castiel. I don't care....Don't do it," Jane said, her voice weak, barely able to get the words out, but the strength behind it was clear.

Eliul ignored her and stared at Castiel, willing him to accept, so persuasive, so understanding….He was going to die anyway. Just give up this little thing, how could he not? He was ground down into the dust, utterly defeated, powerless, alone….

"You can go to Hell," Castiel said.

Eliul's mouth twisted into a sneer. "How unfortunate," he said, and he cast a glance to his demons. Castiel had no strength to spare, long since past the point where he could support himself, but he didn't need to. He could hear the blows landing, hear Jane's grunts of pain and intakes of breath. He felt hot fury and if he had not been bound by these unknown powers, what wrath would have been unleashed.

Eliul toyed with the knife, the small, gold-colored blade stained pink now, looking dull, the sharp edges long since worn away through some sinister use. For a long moment, it was almost silent in the church, the only sounds coming from the wall where the demons did their work. "Wait," Eliul said suddenly. "I'd like her to see this."

Blessed silence. Castiel was finding it harder to stay in focus now. He could feel his perception slipping away, not sure if it was because of the wounds his body had sustained or something else. His mind felt clouded, distant, and he had to struggle to pull himself back to earth. Eliul was watching him again, seemed to know exactly what was going on inside his head. He held the knife so Castiel could see it and spoke softly, every word hard and piercing to his soul.

"Do you know how I spent my time in the Pit after our last…encounter?" He paused, as if waiting for a response. "Thinking of all the things I'd like to say to you. But now that I'm here, I find words just really don't cover it." He examined the knife, saw Castiel's eyes on it as well. Swiftly, he moved it to Castiel's side, the point slipping through the fabric of his clothing and just almost cutting skin.

"Does your god hear you, Castiel?" he whispered. "He won't be able to hear you unless you scream." He jabbed the knife in and it slid through the fleshy part of his side, unobstructed by bone this time. Blood would pour out, cover Eliul's hand and seep away from this body, and Castiel could not stop it. Eliul twisted the knife, and Castiel could feel the flesh cutting, tearing, destroying vital organs. It wouldn't kill him yet.

"What was he thinking when he commissioned you to save the Seal?" Eliul asked as he pulled the knife from the wound. "Abdiel was the better choice. Stronger. Wiser. More than a few of us think twice before crossing him." He bent over the bleeding angel. "But you? What have you ever done? The first Seal you're supposed to preserve and you end up pinned on it. I think God has a sense of humor."

"I trust him," Castiel said through a wet, raspy breath.

"You don't know him." He moved the knife to Castiel's face, rested it flat against his cheek, the point angled at his eye. "How's that soul you're sharing in there doing? I wonder if he'd mind loosing an eye." There was no mercy there, even the amusement hidden. Castiel did not flinch, even though his body was in torment and his soul suffering at Eliul's words. He stared at the ceiling, the vaulted rafters seeming to lift to Heaven. He tried to find his Father, tried to feel the presence that he had never been without, the connection….

Silence.

Eliul chuckled. He moved the knife away from Castiel's eye, leaving a bloody smear across his cheekbone. He locked eyes with Castiel, dead serious, straight-faced. "You're going to die, Castiel."

"He will…rebuke you," Castiel gasped, blue eyes wide.

"Your father forgot all about you," Eliul whispered, his eyes hard, and Castiel saw them turn black. He looked excited. He leaned close and spoke in his ear so quietly Castiel was sure even the other demons, still standing near, could not hear it. "You know I can't kill you yet. You know how this works. You need to surrender yourself to me, and this will all be over. You won't have to face his wrath. You won't have to feel this pain, this fear, this despair, this sick, twisted thing he calls humanity. It's too awful. You know it. Do it." He grasped Castiel's hand and put the knife in it, the handle slick and sticky with blood, blood on Eliul's hand, and now on Castiel's. Eliul positioned the knife over Castiel's heart, his hand clenched over Castiel's and the knife in his fingers, the point digging into his chest.

Castiel felt the tiny light, buried beneath his skin under the knife. The warmth seemed to leak away, the light growing dim, closer to the surface now, almost aching to feel the knife point. He'd failed. He was shaking, hand trembling, and Eliul's dark eyes were staring into his, cutting out the light, piercing his soul. Father…Father…. No one would come. No one could hear. He was so weak, and so tired. He never had the strength to do this. They would all fail, the demons were too strong, too many. He just wanted to go away, wanted this to end, wanted to escape into blissful nothingness, the end of existence, the light stamped out and never feeling, never hurting….

"Castiel," he heard Jane say in barely a whisper, her voice breaking. The knife was in his hands, gripped tight like it was the most important thing in the world. Eliul was still there, great black eyes that were the only thing that mattered, and the knife. He held it by himself now, came closer to sinking it down, pressed against his heart that was beating wildly and pumping more of his blood over the altar. He felt it in his hands. Eliul was saying something, some words he knew he should fear, but he could not understand.

"Visi diabolus opprimo hic creatura Dei, mannum uni maleficus depono sanctimonia—"

God didn't care about him. He was nothing.

"—Cruor angeli addo ruina—"

His Father had forsaken him.

"—Sanctimonia est verto super ipsum, sanctus unus infectus. Ingredior, Lucifer!"

It was over.

A/N: My apologies for the very, very long absence. I gave myself a bit of a break over Christmas and took my time to write what was supposed to be a very long, epic chapter, then got held up by some details in my personal life. So I'm posting the first half of this chapter, which was originally going to be much longer, and hope my readers will forgive me for my negligence. More (honestly!) coming soon.