Heart

May

The party was amazing. Of course, Ash had the biggest appetite, as usual. Even Misty had to stop being embarassed about him and laugh. I don't blame him for eating so much; Brock's cooking is too good to resist! He always manages to whip up the best dinners ever, no matter how busy he is.

Even some of our other friends from Sinnoh and Kanto managed to visit. Dawn came in with a most gorgeous dress ever, and everyone practically drooled over it. I think she managed to catch some of the male attentions in the room, as well. And even Ash's mom and Professor Oak came! Some of Dad's colleagues (aka gym leaders) dropped in to say a few words, too. It was just so nostalgic, seeing everyone there.

As for Brendan, he gave me a garnet necklace as a birthday present. The stone is a deep, blood red. It's so big that it's almost vulgar! He always gives me really conspicuous jewelry no matter what I say, but I wear it anyways, just to humor him. He can be so sweet sometimes, though I wish he had more backbone. He cares too much about what people think of him, and he has a tendency to only do things when he knows that other people are doing it as well. A crowd-pleaser. Still, he's hot. And he's better than he was before, at least. We haven't had much trouble with each other for the seven months we've been dating.

The only problem is... Drew. I don't know, but I have the strangest feeling that he's always watching me. Whenever I see him, a shiver goes down my spine. Drew might be smiling or he might be sulking, but every time, he's always looking my way. When he talks to someone else, I feel his eyes on me: those pale green eyes, sharp and clear, the color of pure envy. When I walk into the room, his... his aura... seems to darken and grow.

And it's gotten worse. He keeps leaving the room right after I come into it... with Brendan, that is. Catherine had to drag him back in last time, and he just sat there and, and... Well, he watched me with that strange look in his eyes. It feels like he's peeling away every layer of my mind until it's laid bare, defenseless, weakened and shivering and under his control. Then I turn away, breaking it, and he begins the process over again. God... he knows me too well. He knows how to lure me, to ensnare me like a struggling bird; he knows my thoughts and my weaknesses. These seven years have been too long.

Why? Why does he do this? Why is he so intent on ruining what should be the best time of my life? I like Brendan and he likes me. It's not fair if Drew's acting like a selfish bastard. I know I should say something to him. I should, right? But I can't do it and watch him die. Doesn't he think about anyone else at all? Why can't he just leave me alone?

I don't want to see him anymore. I can't stand having him in the same room anymore, watching, watching, watching my every single move. There must be a limit to how much I can stand. Someday I'll tell him. Someday, he's got to pass the line.

Someday, he'll know that I don't care.