Chapter One - The First Day

Hermione Granger searched frantically in her trunk. Nope, not there … Where on earth could it be?! Oh, I can't believe I've lost it again! …

Her eyes travelled hopelessly around her bedroom, when she suddenly realised she was already holding The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 7).

Oh, stupid me …

She quickly shoved the book into her trunk and bounded out the door into the car, where her parents we're waiting.

"Hermione, what took you so long? Me and your father have been sitting here for ages – I'm surprised we haven't started collecting dust yet!"

"Your father and I, mother."

"Just checking. I want to make sure that you have a fresh and alert mind at the start of school. And preferably all the way until the end of the year, dear."

"That rhymed, mother."

"You're getting a little annoying now, honey."

On arrival at Platform 9¾, Hermione espied Harry and Ron, who were talking and laughing uproariously with the Weasley family. Harry glanced at her, did a double take, smiled enormously, and tapped Ron. Both of them waved like crazed maniacs at her. She managed a small grin (in an effort to keep from jumping up and down with joy) and ran down to her friends.

"Oh, lord! Ron, you must be as tall as Hagrid! Why is it that you keep growing so? At this rate you'd be bigger than Grawp soon!"

"Shush. You and Harry are just short," said Ron, "I can't help it if I'm friends with such shor-"

"And they can't help that the only friend they can get is some piss-poor muggle lover," interrupted Malfoy. "C'mon, Pansy, let's leave The Pathetic Three to drown in their woes."

"You're the one who spoke to us in the first place anyway!" yelled Ron after them.

The train tooted and Mrs. Weasley suddenly blanched, immediately urging everyone to hurry up and get on the train. Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione ran in with her hot on their heels and found an empty compartment to sit together in. It wasn't long before Neville scurried in, determined to get away from Malfoy, or at least find some protection. Luna drifted in after him, sporting an extremely ridiculous haircut which Ron could not take his eyes off.

"Bloody hell, Luna, what did you do with your hair?" he shrieked.

Luna shot him a vaguely puzzled look, before answering "it keeps snorkalofasses away."

"I don't even want to know," whispered Ron, to a giggling Harry, Ginny and Hermione.

Suddenly Neville squeaked. Everybody turned around and sure enough it was none other than Malfoy and his cronies who filled the compartment.

"I thought you said you were gonna leave us to drown in our woes," remarked Ron.

"Shut up, Weasley. I'm not here because I want to be. I'm the new Head Boy and Dumbledore sent me here to – "

"Tell Hermione that she's Head Girl?" asked Harry, "because that happens in just about every other HG/DM romantic fanfic."

Malfoy looked at him scathingly and said, "No. Pansy's Head Girl."

Everybody in the compartment looked shocked. "Pansy?!" they chorused, "Why the hell would she be Head Girl?!"

Malfoy shot a scathing look at them and continued, "Dumbledore urgently sent me here to fetch Potter. Something about colours and V-neck shirts."

Harry immediately jumped to his feet and ran off into the direction of Dumbledore's private compartment. Malfoy smirked. The grin soon dropped off his face when Hermione said, "So, in reality you're more like a Messenger Boy than Head Boy right now, am I correct? What's Pansy doing, shepherding first years and briefing them on Hogwarts rules for Dumbledore?"

This remark left the compartment in fits of laughter, which made Malfoy turn a pale pink and stalk off with Crabbe and Goyle right behind him.

The Great Hall was filled with chattering students and teachers, eager to share the news of what they did in the holidays.

"I saw a dragon!"

"I rode one!"

"Yeah right. Well I rescued a battalion of soldiers from an army of giants."

"Giants don't have armies, dumbfuck!"

"Tell it to the Giant Armies to their faces, dickwad!"

Dumbledore rose from his seat, his new purple V-neck shirt clearly visible under his cloak. He raised his arms, cleared his throat, and proclaimed, "Jeg er bøsser!" to the confused students. "It's Danish, you know! I just learnt it over holidays!" Those who understood Danish, for some reason or another, looked at the professor rather oddly, their eyes clearly saying 'this is your opening speech?!' The others just sat and looked at the ceiling, twiddling their thumbs and pretending to understand.

Soon after, the four house tables were groaning with plates upon plates of food and everyone was happily filling up their stomachs full of it. It was at this crucial moment, when everybody was momentarily silent due to their bulging mouths, that Pansy suddenly made a loud, shrill shriek and planted a huge, noisy, soppy kiss on Malfoy's mouth.

Ron rolled his eyes at Harry and mouthed (as well as he could, with so much potato in his mouth) 'what on earth was that about?' Harry shrugged and both of them continued eating, but in a more subdued and slightly disgusted way. Hermione just stared at them and whispered 'disturbing' to herself.

When it was time to go to bed, everybody sleepily went off to their own respective beds and there was no more to be said.

So what do you think? Please review with ideas and suggestions. It would be great to hear from you :)

- The Ardent LoverXx